On reality and truth
I don't care how funny I am or how much fun I am, there is a truth that combats my reality and confuses my actions and thoughts and that is that I am a misanthrope. Like House, i hate to be around people but I also hate to be without the few that I like. I take life's hard lumps with a sneer because that's what a hard life will do to some people. I ditch people because i have no faith in social connection and place no emotional value in the bonds. Misanthropy has it's negative traits but what's worse is trying to fight it, like it will go away.
I am strong and fierce alone, i am driven and soluion oriented. I am a working dog- solitary by nature and by necessity but i am happiest working. Doing something and doing it well is who I am. That life kicks out social bonding in a lot of ways but with a singular, myopic focus, I can work and excel and my motto «nan no tame ni tatakau» , «why do you fight?» Will mean something.
I am a tool, a weapon, a sword and my life is to do, to work, to be useful in a meaningful way. So fuck other peoples' expectations of me, positive or negative. I make the reason's why I fight and success will be mine and so will failure.
Stand alone complex. Complex indeed. I'll write a poem about this when i get a good one.