Guess Mine is Not the First Heart Broken...
Location: 221 Baker Street
Time: Post Dating Advice thread, pre Charlie/Lizzie phone convo
Characters: Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton
Staus: Complete.
Summary: Charlie tells Neil that Elizabeth is back, and that he isn't over her.
Neil went to the fridge and pulled a box of frosted mini-wheats off the top, then settled back on the couch with his book.
It was a nice night- peaceful. House and Wilson had gone out for drinks with Snape, and Neil had the apartment to himself. He wasn't really feeling up to going out tonight. Reading and snacking seemed like a good plan, especially since he'd gotten a few choice selections out of the library that morning.
Neil was ten pages into the second chapter when the doorbell rang. Huh... that couldn't be Wilson and House already. It was only 8:00. They'd be out at least another two hours.
He sighed and got up to get the door.
"Hey," Charlie said. He'd done all of his thinking. He was just going to do this and get it over with.
Neil grinned. Charlie wasn't usually the type to drop by for an unannounced visit, but it was a welcome surprise. He pulled Charlie in to kiss him quickly and shut the door behind him. "Hey. Just in the neighborhood and thought you'd stop by?"
"No," Charlie said, "No. Uh... Neil... Lizzie's back."
Neil dropped Charlie's wrist and stared. Lizzie... that name felt so far away and long ago. But Neil remembered. How could he not?
Elizabeth Swann. British, beautiful, sweet Elizabeth Swann. Thrown into the wrong place and the wrong time just like they had been, and Charlie had been completely infatuated with her.
But she'd left, and Charlie had gotten over her. He'd been happy with Neil... hadn't he? Neil wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. "Oh. Oh, well, that's great! How is she?"
"She's... marvelous," Charlie said as he stepped inside. "She had a really, really good trip. And she looks... marvelous."
Neil smiled because honestly, he was at a loss as to what else he could possibly do. He just wished he could figure out if Charlie's face had always had that glow, or if it had just appeared as he'd spoken. "Good... I know you were worried about her."
"I was." Charlie said. "Shit, Neil... Neil, I still love her."
At which point Neil was utterly sure that smiling was not the proper reaction, and thus it fell off his face. He took an instinctive step away from Charlie. "What?"
"I still love her. I saw her there and it was like no time had passed.
Neil said nothing. His heart was hammering too hard. If he said a word, it would stop altogether, he was sure of it. So he just walked over to the couch and took a seat, waiting for Charlie to say whatever else it was he needed to say. Because that last statement couldn't have possibly been it.
Charlie watched Neil slowly breakdown. He didn't dare ... He just didn't dare more. "I told her about us, Neil. She was a bit confused, but... she's willing to accept it. Neil, I don't even know what to say. But... I think we need to end this."
Neil nodded. He wasn't dumb or naive- he hadn't been expecting something much different than that. Of course, expecting it didn't make it feel any less like a steak knife being driven through his internal organs and twisting there.
"You... you're sure." It was a statement disguised as a question. Charlie hadn't sounded the least bit unsure.
"I don't know..." Charlie sat in one of the other chairs. "I love her, Neil. You don't want to hear this, so I won't say it over and over, but I do. And I love you. You're my best friend. And it kills to do this, but I just... I don't think I should be with either of you until I figure it out. And Lizzie wouldn't even let me have the chance to figure it out, unless I end this." Charlie pointed between him and Neil.
Neil shook his head. "Did you know all along?"
"Yeah..." Charlie said. "Some days more than others, but I could never really shake the feeling."
"You were always just waiting, then," Neil said quietly, "You were just waiting for her to come back, and I was just a good way to keep you satisfied in the meantime. Did you ever actually want to be in this relationship?"
"I wasn't... just waiting. I was trying to move on."
"You were a manipulative bastard for the first two weeks we were together! You fucked with my head and my emotions like I was some damn puppet for you to jerk around! You call that trying to move on?" Neil snapped. He took a deep breath.
He'd never admitted to Charlie, and barely admitted to himself, that he'd figured out exactly what Charlie had been doing when this relationship had first started. He'd let it go because he figured it had just been Charlie's way of dealing with his anger over Neil's suicide. He'd thought that once Charlie had dealt with things, everything would fall into place. Until right now, he thought he'd been right.
Now... now he had no clue what the hell he'd been involved in.
"I was... I was angry at you for your suicide. I was angry at Lizzie for leaving. And I was angry at myself for letting her go."
"And after you'd toyed with me enough, you decided I might actually make a decent rebound fuck?"
"I wasn't thinking, Neil. I was upset."
Neil took a moment to catch his breath.
Charlie was not a soft-spoken or tender-hearted person by nature. But if Neil thought about everything that Charlie had said since he'd knocked on the door, he'd realize that that's exactly how Charlie had been acting.
Which could only mean that he really, honestly felt like shit.
Which only made Neil feel the tiniest bit less hostile. "You never think, do you, Nuwanda? That was always your problem."
"Thinking is for philosophers."
Neil snapped his head up. Of course Charlie would try to joke. "I destroyed what I had with Todd for this. I did things I wasn't nearly ready for. I sunk lower than I can ever forgive myself for, all for this. You knew that. And you let it all happen anyway."
"We all have to grow up at some point. At some point...it stops being fun. Guess you know how it feels know."
"It wasn't your job to make sure I grew up."
"Just paying you back, I guess." Charlie didn't mean it as anything more than a fact.
Neil blinked. "Just... get the fuck out of my apartment."
"Fine."
Neil got up from the couch and strode to the door, thanking whatever God existed that he hadn't started to cry. He yanked the door open.
Charlie walked out without a word.
Time: Post Dating Advice thread, pre Charlie/Lizzie phone convo
Characters: Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton
Staus: Complete.
Summary: Charlie tells Neil that Elizabeth is back, and that he isn't over her.
Neil went to the fridge and pulled a box of frosted mini-wheats off the top, then settled back on the couch with his book.
It was a nice night- peaceful. House and Wilson had gone out for drinks with Snape, and Neil had the apartment to himself. He wasn't really feeling up to going out tonight. Reading and snacking seemed like a good plan, especially since he'd gotten a few choice selections out of the library that morning.
Neil was ten pages into the second chapter when the doorbell rang. Huh... that couldn't be Wilson and House already. It was only 8:00. They'd be out at least another two hours.
He sighed and got up to get the door.
"Hey," Charlie said. He'd done all of his thinking. He was just going to do this and get it over with.
Neil grinned. Charlie wasn't usually the type to drop by for an unannounced visit, but it was a welcome surprise. He pulled Charlie in to kiss him quickly and shut the door behind him. "Hey. Just in the neighborhood and thought you'd stop by?"
"No," Charlie said, "No. Uh... Neil... Lizzie's back."
Neil dropped Charlie's wrist and stared. Lizzie... that name felt so far away and long ago. But Neil remembered. How could he not?
Elizabeth Swann. British, beautiful, sweet Elizabeth Swann. Thrown into the wrong place and the wrong time just like they had been, and Charlie had been completely infatuated with her.
But she'd left, and Charlie had gotten over her. He'd been happy with Neil... hadn't he? Neil wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. "Oh. Oh, well, that's great! How is she?"
"She's... marvelous," Charlie said as he stepped inside. "She had a really, really good trip. And she looks... marvelous."
Neil smiled because honestly, he was at a loss as to what else he could possibly do. He just wished he could figure out if Charlie's face had always had that glow, or if it had just appeared as he'd spoken. "Good... I know you were worried about her."
"I was." Charlie said. "Shit, Neil... Neil, I still love her."
At which point Neil was utterly sure that smiling was not the proper reaction, and thus it fell off his face. He took an instinctive step away from Charlie. "What?"
"I still love her. I saw her there and it was like no time had passed.
Neil said nothing. His heart was hammering too hard. If he said a word, it would stop altogether, he was sure of it. So he just walked over to the couch and took a seat, waiting for Charlie to say whatever else it was he needed to say. Because that last statement couldn't have possibly been it.
Charlie watched Neil slowly breakdown. He didn't dare ... He just didn't dare more. "I told her about us, Neil. She was a bit confused, but... she's willing to accept it. Neil, I don't even know what to say. But... I think we need to end this."
Neil nodded. He wasn't dumb or naive- he hadn't been expecting something much different than that. Of course, expecting it didn't make it feel any less like a steak knife being driven through his internal organs and twisting there.
"You... you're sure." It was a statement disguised as a question. Charlie hadn't sounded the least bit unsure.
"I don't know..." Charlie sat in one of the other chairs. "I love her, Neil. You don't want to hear this, so I won't say it over and over, but I do. And I love you. You're my best friend. And it kills to do this, but I just... I don't think I should be with either of you until I figure it out. And Lizzie wouldn't even let me have the chance to figure it out, unless I end this." Charlie pointed between him and Neil.
Neil shook his head. "Did you know all along?"
"Yeah..." Charlie said. "Some days more than others, but I could never really shake the feeling."
"You were always just waiting, then," Neil said quietly, "You were just waiting for her to come back, and I was just a good way to keep you satisfied in the meantime. Did you ever actually want to be in this relationship?"
"I wasn't... just waiting. I was trying to move on."
"You were a manipulative bastard for the first two weeks we were together! You fucked with my head and my emotions like I was some damn puppet for you to jerk around! You call that trying to move on?" Neil snapped. He took a deep breath.
He'd never admitted to Charlie, and barely admitted to himself, that he'd figured out exactly what Charlie had been doing when this relationship had first started. He'd let it go because he figured it had just been Charlie's way of dealing with his anger over Neil's suicide. He'd thought that once Charlie had dealt with things, everything would fall into place. Until right now, he thought he'd been right.
Now... now he had no clue what the hell he'd been involved in.
"I was... I was angry at you for your suicide. I was angry at Lizzie for leaving. And I was angry at myself for letting her go."
"And after you'd toyed with me enough, you decided I might actually make a decent rebound fuck?"
"I wasn't thinking, Neil. I was upset."
Neil took a moment to catch his breath.
Charlie was not a soft-spoken or tender-hearted person by nature. But if Neil thought about everything that Charlie had said since he'd knocked on the door, he'd realize that that's exactly how Charlie had been acting.
Which could only mean that he really, honestly felt like shit.
Which only made Neil feel the tiniest bit less hostile. "You never think, do you, Nuwanda? That was always your problem."
"Thinking is for philosophers."
Neil snapped his head up. Of course Charlie would try to joke. "I destroyed what I had with Todd for this. I did things I wasn't nearly ready for. I sunk lower than I can ever forgive myself for, all for this. You knew that. And you let it all happen anyway."
"We all have to grow up at some point. At some point...it stops being fun. Guess you know how it feels know."
"It wasn't your job to make sure I grew up."
"Just paying you back, I guess." Charlie didn't mean it as anything more than a fact.
Neil blinked. "Just... get the fuck out of my apartment."
"Fine."
Neil got up from the couch and strode to the door, thanking whatever God existed that he hadn't started to cry. He yanked the door open.
Charlie walked out without a word.