House Comes Home; Encounters Neil
Characters: Gregory House, Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton
Timeline: After "Morning After"
Rating: PG
Summary: Neil finds out what House did.
It was about noon when House got back from his escapade. He should feel guilty, but you know what? He didn't. He had a damn good time last night, and if he had the chance -- he'd do it again.
Neil just had a feeling. He couldn't identify exactly what it was if you asked him to, he could only say that it was lingering, sinking, and cold. Something wasn't right. He'd returned to a House-less house last night, and save for the few hours between Wilson's going to bed and his leaving for work in the morning, it had remained empty and quiet. When the door slammed open around noon, he had no idea what he could say that would settle the feeling, so he lied on the couch with his face to its back and didn't bother with a greeting.
House hit Neil with his cane. "Move. You're in my spot. And why aren't you out fucking your boyfriend?"
Neil jumped. He sat up and rubbed his shoulder where the cane had made impact. "Where were you?"
"Out."
Oh, God, he was evading. Neil narrowed his eyes. "Out where?"
"Are you my mother?"
No, no, no. Just answer House, please. Shut up the voices, tell them they're wrong. "Just answer the question."
"I was out."
"Wilson wasn't with you."
"No," House grinned, "Wilson wasn't with me. Did you two have a nice evening?"
"Great. We sat around and worried about you. You weren't answering your phone and you didn't tell either of us you were going out."
"Aw," House mocked, "Did you how hands and cry too?"
Neil stood up and crossed his arms. "House, please tell me nothing happened last night and I'm just being a stupid, paranoid little prick."
"Nothing happened last night and you're just being a stupid, paranoid little prick." House repeated what the kid said, word for word, with the precise tone he wanted.
Neil didn't know why he hadn't expected that. He dropped the dancing and swooped in. "I saw you with him," he said quietly, "Last night. On my way home from rehearsal. You were walking out of the club together." He felt his eyes start to glimmer and his voice rising, "You went home with him, didn't you?"
"If I had any idea what you were talking about, which, I don't, but if I did, I would say, why he hell were you over by the clubs after rehearsal?"
"Charlie met me after rehearsal. We were going to go out for a few hours. But I saw you and I wasn't in the mood anymore. I came home and hoped to God you would too." Neil shrugged. "But you didn't."
"Can't be in two places at once."
Neil bit his lip. "So it's true, then."
This kiss was killing his buzz. He wouldn't have that, no, he wouldn't. "Let's get something straight here: you're here because I let you be here. You have no say over my life. So, if you're going to start pulling this shit, you can pack up and leave."
Neil didn't let it feel like the punch in the gut that it was meant to. Not yet. "You cheated on Wilson. On your husband."
"So what if I did?"
"Why?"
"Nuh-uh," House said, "I said 'what if', not 'I did'. I want to know why you care. It doesn't affect you. If anything, it means you get me all to yourself again. I bet you'd like that."
Neil wanted to throw up. "No. No I wouldn't. I always thought that you and he had something unbreakable. I would have, and did, walked right out of here if I thought it would make things easier for the two of you. But Jesus, you really are the asshole everyone thinks you are, aren't you? You don't give a shit about anything or anyone. Do you even care about what this is going to do to him?"
"Uh..." House thought about that. "No."
Neil shut his eyes. Inhale. Exhale. He opened them again but didn't look at House. He went straight for his room and blindly clawed all his clothing out of his closet and threw it into two plastic bags. He shoved his script and various books inside and finally, after a moment of thought, buried the Five Centuries of Verse House had bought him at the bottom of one of the bags. He brushed past House in a beeline for the front door. "I hate you," he choked out over his shoulder. "You're fucking worse than he was."
Knowing he didn't need any more explanation on who 'he' was; House to get the message loud and clear, he shoved open the door, stepped outside, and slammed it shut behind him.
Well, good. One down, one more to go. Although. House raced after him, as fast as he could run with a bad leg. "Neil."
Neil whipped around. "What?!"
"If you so much as tell anyone about your little inkling, I will make life incredibly difficult for you."
Neil found himself letting out a laugh. "You can't do a damn thing to me. You're not in my life anymore, you mean nothing to me. You're not my father. As far as I'm concerned, you got hit by a car last night and are just as dead as he is." He turned away again.
House had nothing else to say. He had to pack up and move out of the apartment. Wilson worked at the clinic more than him; it was only fair that Wilson say there. He grabbed what he needed, and thought to ask Snape to magic the piano out once House figured out where he intended to stay. Before he left, he scribed Wilson a note that said: "I don't like you anymore." And that was that.
*
Only when Neil was clear off Baker Street did he allow himself to cry. He hated House. He hated himself. He hated that he'd trusted House. He hated that he still gave a shit. But no more. He was done. House had given him a boost when he'd needed it, but now he didn't need it anymore, and House was only succeeding in pulling him back down again. He was fucking done with it all. "Charlie? Charlie, it's Neil," he called as he rapped his fist against the door.
Charlie opened the door, "What the hell?" Neil looked like shit -- and he had a suitcase.
Neil smiled sheepishly, as well as he could manage. "Hi. I um... can I stay here for a while?"
"Only if you tell me what the hell House did."
"He's a fucking prick who has no idea how fucking grateful he should be to even have people... have people in his life who give a shit. But no. He just tramples all over it... leaves it in pieces and doesn't look back."
"What did he do to you?" Charlie stepped aside, and let Neil come in.
"That's the best part," Neil laughed as he dropped his bags. "Nothing. Not this time, at least. He cheated on Wilson. Took some guy out last night and fucked him, and didn't come back until today. And when I called him on it... he just... he didn't care."
"The guy we saw him with?"
Neil nodded.
"Shit," Charlie laughed.
"Yeah." Neil let himself drop onto the couch. "I'd given him the benefit of the doubt so many times. But I couldn't stand by and watch him callously break that man's heart. I couldn't do it anymore- keep hoping he's something he'll never be, and be let down every time."
"I wouldn't worry," Charlie said. He started fixing Neil a drink, and motioned to ask if he wanted ice. "Guy's name is Captain Jack Harkness. He works at the club, and he's a bit of a loose cannon. Loves sex, but he doesn't keep his conquests for long. Ever thought House and Wilson are just... going through a rough spot?"
Did Charlie really think it would make Neil feel better to know his home was being destroyed by a common manwhore? "I haven't seen any signs of that. And House certainly didn't show any signs of giving a crap about what he'd done."
"Okay, so, House is an ass. Then ever thought he just didn't want you to know?"
"My ignorance wouldn't have changed what he did."
"Okay, so he cheated. Big deal." Charlie handed Neil the glass, "You cheated. I cheated. And from what I hear, Wilson's cheated too."
"I know that. And it doesn't matter, Charlie. It doesn't apply. Wilson couldn't commit to a marriage because he was always committed to House. He's always loved House more than he ever could have loved any of his wives. The same went for when I-" Neil stopped. He shook his head. No. This was not the time to be making any sort of heartfelt confessions about their relationship, even if they both sort of knew. He picked his voice back up, quietly, "Anyway, when that happened, I felt horrible. I still feel horrible. That in no way justifies what I did, but at least I was remorseful. At least I was human."
"You know," Charlie said, "You were just waiting for this."
"What?"
"Asking for them to knock some reality into you. You talk about them like they are gods."
Neil glanced up at Charlie. "I never deluded myself into thinking they were perfect. I'm not that naive. But life was good with them for a long time, and that meant a lot to me."
"Well, then, I guess life well just had to be good with me now, right?"
Neil ran his finger along the edge of the glass and smiled slightly before looking at Charlie again. "Guess so."
"Plus if those crazy cats actually love each other, they'll work it out."
Neil scoffed. "I don't give a shit what they do anymore. He made it perfectly clear that I have no reason to care, and I agree with him."
"Then act it, don't just say it."
Neil knew he was right. And he knew he could never really not "give a shit," no matter what House did to him. He was pretty sure Charlie knew that too. He laughed and hoped it didn't sound like a cry. "I don't think I'm that good an actor."
"Well, at least you know your artistic limitations."
This time Neil's laugh was more genuine, but he didn't really feel any better. "Charlie, I'm scared. I know I have you, and friends here, and believe me, I don't forget that. But when I found out what he'd done, and when we fought about it... for a half a second, I could see myself falling back into that place. I can't let that happen. Even though I know I could never make the mistake I did again, I can't feel like that. I can't."
"Why the fucking hell would you let him get to you? Don't... Jesus Neil. You have to learn to be like emotional."
"So I can end up like him? Like... like you almost did?"
"All right, Touché. But I mean it. You're too emotional. They will be fine."
Neil didn't know how to explain that this had so little to do with them and everything to do with what it had shown Neil. The deceit, the broken trust, the cold-heartedness. Even if House and Wilson healed, Neil was sure his faith in House never could.
He nodded anyway and sank further into the couch, taking a long sip of his drink.
Charlie leaned over and took the glass from Neil. He put it on the table, and then kissed his confused little friend. "Stop." Charlie kisses his lips, "Stop letting them affect you."
Neil smiled shakily and squeezed Charlie's hand. "Sorry. You're right. And my feeling this shitty is probably exactly what he wanted."
"No. Don't even think that. Stop thinking about him."
"How am I supposed to just--" Neil stopped, and felt an actual smirk cross his lips. He leaned in and kissed Charlie again. "Guess I should get my mind on other things."
"Now you're catching on," Charlie said.
"Any suggestions?"
"Oh, yeah. I have a few."
Neil pulled his boyfriend down to kiss him deeply. Nothing was going to necessarily make him feel okay today, but this seemed as damn close to it as possible. He stopped for a moment to mutter a sincere, "Thank you."
"Let's go to bed," Charlie said.
Timeline: After "Morning After"
Rating: PG
Summary: Neil finds out what House did.
It was about noon when House got back from his escapade. He should feel guilty, but you know what? He didn't. He had a damn good time last night, and if he had the chance -- he'd do it again.
Neil just had a feeling. He couldn't identify exactly what it was if you asked him to, he could only say that it was lingering, sinking, and cold. Something wasn't right. He'd returned to a House-less house last night, and save for the few hours between Wilson's going to bed and his leaving for work in the morning, it had remained empty and quiet. When the door slammed open around noon, he had no idea what he could say that would settle the feeling, so he lied on the couch with his face to its back and didn't bother with a greeting.
House hit Neil with his cane. "Move. You're in my spot. And why aren't you out fucking your boyfriend?"
Neil jumped. He sat up and rubbed his shoulder where the cane had made impact. "Where were you?"
"Out."
Oh, God, he was evading. Neil narrowed his eyes. "Out where?"
"Are you my mother?"
No, no, no. Just answer House, please. Shut up the voices, tell them they're wrong. "Just answer the question."
"I was out."
"Wilson wasn't with you."
"No," House grinned, "Wilson wasn't with me. Did you two have a nice evening?"
"Great. We sat around and worried about you. You weren't answering your phone and you didn't tell either of us you were going out."
"Aw," House mocked, "Did you how hands and cry too?"
Neil stood up and crossed his arms. "House, please tell me nothing happened last night and I'm just being a stupid, paranoid little prick."
"Nothing happened last night and you're just being a stupid, paranoid little prick." House repeated what the kid said, word for word, with the precise tone he wanted.
Neil didn't know why he hadn't expected that. He dropped the dancing and swooped in. "I saw you with him," he said quietly, "Last night. On my way home from rehearsal. You were walking out of the club together." He felt his eyes start to glimmer and his voice rising, "You went home with him, didn't you?"
"If I had any idea what you were talking about, which, I don't, but if I did, I would say, why he hell were you over by the clubs after rehearsal?"
"Charlie met me after rehearsal. We were going to go out for a few hours. But I saw you and I wasn't in the mood anymore. I came home and hoped to God you would too." Neil shrugged. "But you didn't."
"Can't be in two places at once."
Neil bit his lip. "So it's true, then."
This kiss was killing his buzz. He wouldn't have that, no, he wouldn't. "Let's get something straight here: you're here because I let you be here. You have no say over my life. So, if you're going to start pulling this shit, you can pack up and leave."
Neil didn't let it feel like the punch in the gut that it was meant to. Not yet. "You cheated on Wilson. On your husband."
"So what if I did?"
"Why?"
"Nuh-uh," House said, "I said 'what if', not 'I did'. I want to know why you care. It doesn't affect you. If anything, it means you get me all to yourself again. I bet you'd like that."
Neil wanted to throw up. "No. No I wouldn't. I always thought that you and he had something unbreakable. I would have, and did, walked right out of here if I thought it would make things easier for the two of you. But Jesus, you really are the asshole everyone thinks you are, aren't you? You don't give a shit about anything or anyone. Do you even care about what this is going to do to him?"
"Uh..." House thought about that. "No."
Neil shut his eyes. Inhale. Exhale. He opened them again but didn't look at House. He went straight for his room and blindly clawed all his clothing out of his closet and threw it into two plastic bags. He shoved his script and various books inside and finally, after a moment of thought, buried the Five Centuries of Verse House had bought him at the bottom of one of the bags. He brushed past House in a beeline for the front door. "I hate you," he choked out over his shoulder. "You're fucking worse than he was."
Knowing he didn't need any more explanation on who 'he' was; House to get the message loud and clear, he shoved open the door, stepped outside, and slammed it shut behind him.
Well, good. One down, one more to go. Although. House raced after him, as fast as he could run with a bad leg. "Neil."
Neil whipped around. "What?!"
"If you so much as tell anyone about your little inkling, I will make life incredibly difficult for you."
Neil found himself letting out a laugh. "You can't do a damn thing to me. You're not in my life anymore, you mean nothing to me. You're not my father. As far as I'm concerned, you got hit by a car last night and are just as dead as he is." He turned away again.
House had nothing else to say. He had to pack up and move out of the apartment. Wilson worked at the clinic more than him; it was only fair that Wilson say there. He grabbed what he needed, and thought to ask Snape to magic the piano out once House figured out where he intended to stay. Before he left, he scribed Wilson a note that said: "I don't like you anymore." And that was that.
*
Only when Neil was clear off Baker Street did he allow himself to cry. He hated House. He hated himself. He hated that he'd trusted House. He hated that he still gave a shit. But no more. He was done. House had given him a boost when he'd needed it, but now he didn't need it anymore, and House was only succeeding in pulling him back down again. He was fucking done with it all. "Charlie? Charlie, it's Neil," he called as he rapped his fist against the door.
Charlie opened the door, "What the hell?" Neil looked like shit -- and he had a suitcase.
Neil smiled sheepishly, as well as he could manage. "Hi. I um... can I stay here for a while?"
"Only if you tell me what the hell House did."
"He's a fucking prick who has no idea how fucking grateful he should be to even have people... have people in his life who give a shit. But no. He just tramples all over it... leaves it in pieces and doesn't look back."
"What did he do to you?" Charlie stepped aside, and let Neil come in.
"That's the best part," Neil laughed as he dropped his bags. "Nothing. Not this time, at least. He cheated on Wilson. Took some guy out last night and fucked him, and didn't come back until today. And when I called him on it... he just... he didn't care."
"The guy we saw him with?"
Neil nodded.
"Shit," Charlie laughed.
"Yeah." Neil let himself drop onto the couch. "I'd given him the benefit of the doubt so many times. But I couldn't stand by and watch him callously break that man's heart. I couldn't do it anymore- keep hoping he's something he'll never be, and be let down every time."
"I wouldn't worry," Charlie said. He started fixing Neil a drink, and motioned to ask if he wanted ice. "Guy's name is Captain Jack Harkness. He works at the club, and he's a bit of a loose cannon. Loves sex, but he doesn't keep his conquests for long. Ever thought House and Wilson are just... going through a rough spot?"
Did Charlie really think it would make Neil feel better to know his home was being destroyed by a common manwhore? "I haven't seen any signs of that. And House certainly didn't show any signs of giving a crap about what he'd done."
"Okay, so, House is an ass. Then ever thought he just didn't want you to know?"
"My ignorance wouldn't have changed what he did."
"Okay, so he cheated. Big deal." Charlie handed Neil the glass, "You cheated. I cheated. And from what I hear, Wilson's cheated too."
"I know that. And it doesn't matter, Charlie. It doesn't apply. Wilson couldn't commit to a marriage because he was always committed to House. He's always loved House more than he ever could have loved any of his wives. The same went for when I-" Neil stopped. He shook his head. No. This was not the time to be making any sort of heartfelt confessions about their relationship, even if they both sort of knew. He picked his voice back up, quietly, "Anyway, when that happened, I felt horrible. I still feel horrible. That in no way justifies what I did, but at least I was remorseful. At least I was human."
"You know," Charlie said, "You were just waiting for this."
"What?"
"Asking for them to knock some reality into you. You talk about them like they are gods."
Neil glanced up at Charlie. "I never deluded myself into thinking they were perfect. I'm not that naive. But life was good with them for a long time, and that meant a lot to me."
"Well, then, I guess life well just had to be good with me now, right?"
Neil ran his finger along the edge of the glass and smiled slightly before looking at Charlie again. "Guess so."
"Plus if those crazy cats actually love each other, they'll work it out."
Neil scoffed. "I don't give a shit what they do anymore. He made it perfectly clear that I have no reason to care, and I agree with him."
"Then act it, don't just say it."
Neil knew he was right. And he knew he could never really not "give a shit," no matter what House did to him. He was pretty sure Charlie knew that too. He laughed and hoped it didn't sound like a cry. "I don't think I'm that good an actor."
"Well, at least you know your artistic limitations."
This time Neil's laugh was more genuine, but he didn't really feel any better. "Charlie, I'm scared. I know I have you, and friends here, and believe me, I don't forget that. But when I found out what he'd done, and when we fought about it... for a half a second, I could see myself falling back into that place. I can't let that happen. Even though I know I could never make the mistake I did again, I can't feel like that. I can't."
"Why the fucking hell would you let him get to you? Don't... Jesus Neil. You have to learn to be like emotional."
"So I can end up like him? Like... like you almost did?"
"All right, Touché. But I mean it. You're too emotional. They will be fine."
Neil didn't know how to explain that this had so little to do with them and everything to do with what it had shown Neil. The deceit, the broken trust, the cold-heartedness. Even if House and Wilson healed, Neil was sure his faith in House never could.
He nodded anyway and sank further into the couch, taking a long sip of his drink.
Charlie leaned over and took the glass from Neil. He put it on the table, and then kissed his confused little friend. "Stop." Charlie kisses his lips, "Stop letting them affect you."
Neil smiled shakily and squeezed Charlie's hand. "Sorry. You're right. And my feeling this shitty is probably exactly what he wanted."
"No. Don't even think that. Stop thinking about him."
"How am I supposed to just--" Neil stopped, and felt an actual smirk cross his lips. He leaned in and kissed Charlie again. "Guess I should get my mind on other things."
"Now you're catching on," Charlie said.
"Any suggestions?"
"Oh, yeah. I have a few."
Neil pulled his boyfriend down to kiss him deeply. Nothing was going to necessarily make him feel okay today, but this seemed as damn close to it as possible. He stopped for a moment to mutter a sincere, "Thank you."
"Let's go to bed," Charlie said.