Pre-Date Briefing
Location:Snape-Potter flat.
Time: Wednesday Morning, post-baby, pre-date.
Characters:Bart, Snape, Harry.
Private and Completed on MSN
Summary: Bart is told to speak to Snape before his date. He complies.
Bart threw himself onto the couch, propping his head on his hands to look at Snape in his chair. "What'dyou want, Mr. Snape?" he asked, smiling slightly.
Snape looked at Bart, his left brow raised. "Tell me about this...Ianto."
Bart grinned goofily, looking down at the ground quick before looking up again. "He's Psmith's next door neighbor, he's really nice. We met at the ball, d'you remember?"
Snape's only real memory of that night was proposing. "What do you know about him aside from 'he's really nice'"?
Bart thought about it for a minute. Of course, subjectively this is very little time at all. "He's from Wales. We both helped take care of Psmith when he was sick." His smile turned soft. "I asked him to out to dinner with me, we're going to the Italian place downtown." He left out the part about Ianto punching Jim - he was pretty sure Mr. Snape wouldn't like it.
"Hmmm," Snape said, studying Bart, the way his face softened and his eyes glazed as he spoke of Ianto. "Do we need to talk about protection?"
Bart blushed as he scrambled on the couch, ending up seated with a pillow across the room. "No!" he squeaked, embarassed. "Um, I mean, no! I, uh, it's just a first date, Mr. Snape, and," his face was bright red, "I've had lots of lectures, 'n stuff. Um."
"If you cannot talk of sex without blushing, you shouldn't be having it," Snape said, frowning. "I trust that if a relationship develops between the two of you, that you'll bring him round."
Bart nodded miserably, looking down at the floor. His face was still red. He hoped that wasn't what Ianto thought; it was just a first date, right? Kon talked about dates like that, but Bart had never *seen* him do that; mostly just Cassie and he didn't think it had gone that way.
"You're still blushing. You haven't had sex with him already have you?" Snape asked, frowning.
Bart looked up at him in shock, mouth open slightly. "N, no! We haven't done anything like that, Mr. Snape!"
Snape relaxed against his chair, looking thoughtfully at Bart, wondering if he's scared the boy enough for him to keep his head about him. If anyone took advantage of the boy's naivete, he would have to kill them, and he'd rather not. "What time is your date?"
"What time is who's date?" Harry asked as he entered the sitting room, toweling dry his hair. He paused when he saw Bart and summoned a shirt to put on. "Hey Bart."
"Harry!" Bart said in relief, grin spreading across his face. "Um, my date. At seven. Um."
"He hardly knows the man," Snape grumbled.
"It's just a first date, Mr. Snape!"
"Yeah, really Severus," Harry said through the cotton of his tee-shirt as he pulled it over his head. "What's the problem?"
"I am merely making certain that Bart will be safe," Snape said defensively.
Harry grinned, bemused. "That's nice and all, but it's not like he's a kid. Right, Bart?"
Bart *beamed* at Harry. "Yeah, Mr. Snape. I'll be fine. It's not like it's the first time I've gone out with someone or anything. And he is really nice, Mr. Snape."
"You will use condoms should things progress to a more physical level?" Snape asked.
That blush was back with a vengeance. "O, of course," he squeaked.
Harry gaped at Snape for the duration of Bart's mortification. "How many times have you told him that?!"
Snape scowled at Harry. "Enough to ensure he does!"
"For the love of God Sev. He's not ten. I think he's capable of making sure he's got protection of some sort." Harry ran a hand over his face. "Who are you going out with anyways Bart?"
"Um," Bart started distractedly, "Ianto. Ianto Jones." He smiled a little again. "D'you remember, he helped Psmith with the ball?"
"Psmith's neighbor? The quiet one?"
Bart nodded happily. "Yeah, he's from Wales. We took care of Psmith when he was sick."
"He seemed nice." Harry looked thoughtfully at Bart for a moment. "How'd you manage to snag him anyways?"
Snape's head whipped around to Harry. "I take it you find him attractive as well?"
Bart looked back and forth between the two of them anxiously. "I, I don't think he's, um, snagged, or anything. It's just dinner, so..."
"What would you do if I said yes?" Harry shot back, completely ignoring Bart, just for the moment.
Snape glared at Harry, ignoring the question.
Harry didn't so much bat an eyelash before going back to Bart's earlier statement. "I meant how'd you get him to agree? He seems antisocial."
"Oh." Bart said, a little surprised. "I dunno. I just asked. We got along pretty well when I made soup for Psmith, so I thought..." Suddenly he looked a little glum. "I hope he didn't feel obligated 'cause of that guy..."
Harry's brow furrowed in concern and he went and sat next to Bart. He curled his leg under him so he was sitting sideways on the couch facing the other boy. "What guy?"
Bart sighed. "There was this guy, he was being really obnoxious when I was asking. But it didn't seem like... I mean, I said if he didn't want to it was okay, so..."
"Who was being obnoxious?"
"The guy, I think he was John's friend," Bart clarified carefully.
"The one that lives in his head?"
"But then Ianto hit him and... No, not Dr. McKay! Dr. McKay isn't very nice, sometimes, but he's not *mean*."
"Bart, who is this person?" Snape asked, wondering if someone needed to be hexed.
"Who, Jim? He's, I dunno. He's just kind of mean, I guess, but he's okay." Bart replied, kind of confused. "I don't know. He's been okay since then..." Bart paused thoughtfully. "He calls me Julio. I guess it's kinda funny..."
"Do you know where this Jim person lives?" Snape asked, fingering his wand.
"Severus, don't even think it," Harry stated quietly.
Snape glared, still irritated at Harry for fancying some bloke he only met once.
"Oh, please. That hasn't been intimidating since I was 16."
"I dunno where he lives. Somewhere around Aternaville, or something."
"Anyway, it's just dinner, so, I dunno, it could go horribly or something anyway." Bart looked a little sad at the prospect. He really did like Ianto.
"Oh come on Bart. Don't get glum on us now," Harry scowled at Snape then stuck his tongue out at the man. "It'll be fine and look on the bright side if something bad does happen, you'll have Snape around to kick whoevers arse needs kicking at the time, and we always have mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer."
"Hey, I can kick ass for myself," Bart replied, sticking his tongue out at Harry and laughing. Then he hugged him. "Thanks."
"Course! S'what I'm here for. Saving the day and what not. Ask the prick over there," Harry said, pointing at Snape.
"Potter, will be discussing your affectionate names at a later date," Snape said, a sickly smile on his face.
Bart leaned over. "I think you hurt his feelings. Maybe I should go so you two can make up?" He whispered to Harry, albeit not *too* quietly - it's possible Mr. Snape could still have heard.
"Don't be ridiculous, Bart." Snape scowled at the two of them. "I'm going to make tea." He rose from his chair and went to the kitchen in search of earl grey.
Harry shook his head in exasperation. "Ignore him. It's what I always do. Now about your date with Ianto, do you know where you're going yet?"
Bart looked worriedly after Mr. Snape, but turned back to Harry. "We're going to the Italian place," he replied.
Harry chewed on his lower lip. "Do you have any more nice clothing other than what you wore to the Yule Ball?"
"Yeah," Bart said with a smirk. "Tim said I should wear the blue shirt Carol gave me for Christmas and my black slacks. D'you think that's good? Carol has really good taste, it's a really nice shirt."
"I wouldn't know till I see it, but yeah, sounds about right to me. It's a good color to wear to an Italian restaurant, never wear white, single most embarrassing thing you could ever do."
Bart noted Harry's advice seriously, nodding with a straight face, like he was taking notes.
Heate: Harry grinned. "But don't worry too much, even if something like that did happen, Ianto doesn't seem the type to point it out...least not in public anyways."
Bart grinned, but then looked anxious. "S...Should I bring him flowers?" he asked tentatively. "If he were a girl, definately, I know that, but... do you bring guys flowers?"
Harry frowned thoughfully. "Honestly, I have no idea. I'm usually absolute shite at dating, but it wouldn't hurt. Maybe just one, a bunch might be a bit much."
Snape entered the room carrying a tray of tea. "Perhaps a small flower for his lapel?"
Bart nodded seriously, then smiled. "Thanks, Mr. Snape."
"White I think, as it has less chance of clashing with his wardrobe then say, a red rose would," he added, pouring them all a cup of tea.
"When'd you become so knowledgable about this?" Harry asked keeping his tone as neutral as possible while taking his tea.
Snape shrugged negligently and sipped his tea. "Experience?"
Bart looked entirely serious over the rim of his teacup. "You guys are both a lot better at this than I am."
Harry snorted. "Maybe he is. My experience with dating has been a complete failure...till now that is."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Observation is where I learned it, Bart, watching other people."
"Pervert," Harry mumbled into his tea cup.
"That's two, Potter."
Bart sipped his tea like a learned behavior, but he laughed a little at Harry's comment. Still... "That's, people are too slow sometimes. I forget to watch. So."
"Ahh, I see," Snape agreed, nodding.
"You make it sound like a spectator sport," Harry snorted. "Dating is something you're supposed to do, not watch."
"Why can't one do both?" Snape asked airily.
Bart's still smiling, but his tea is gone so he doesn't have an excuse to hide behind it. "I'm better at reading and watching. But they don't tell you these things, you know."
"No, they don't," Harry agreed, swirling the remains of the tea in his cup.
"Easier," he says quietly, but he really means *faster*, *at his speed*, *controlled*.
Harry hummed softly and set his tea cup down on the coffee table.
"You will go on your date, you will have fun, and you were report back here," Snape said, as if it were a given.
Harry coughed to smother his laughter.
"What?" Snape asked, frowning.
"Report?" Bart croaked before dissolving into giggles. "Report."
"Yes, that's what I said." Scowl.
"Report." Still giggling, Bart fell off the couch.
Time: Wednesday Morning, post-baby, pre-date.
Characters:Bart, Snape, Harry.
Private and Completed on MSN
Summary: Bart is told to speak to Snape before his date. He complies.
Bart threw himself onto the couch, propping his head on his hands to look at Snape in his chair. "What'dyou want, Mr. Snape?" he asked, smiling slightly.
Snape looked at Bart, his left brow raised. "Tell me about this...Ianto."
Bart grinned goofily, looking down at the ground quick before looking up again. "He's Psmith's next door neighbor, he's really nice. We met at the ball, d'you remember?"
Snape's only real memory of that night was proposing. "What do you know about him aside from 'he's really nice'"?
Bart thought about it for a minute. Of course, subjectively this is very little time at all. "He's from Wales. We both helped take care of Psmith when he was sick." His smile turned soft. "I asked him to out to dinner with me, we're going to the Italian place downtown." He left out the part about Ianto punching Jim - he was pretty sure Mr. Snape wouldn't like it.
"Hmmm," Snape said, studying Bart, the way his face softened and his eyes glazed as he spoke of Ianto. "Do we need to talk about protection?"
Bart blushed as he scrambled on the couch, ending up seated with a pillow across the room. "No!" he squeaked, embarassed. "Um, I mean, no! I, uh, it's just a first date, Mr. Snape, and," his face was bright red, "I've had lots of lectures, 'n stuff. Um."
"If you cannot talk of sex without blushing, you shouldn't be having it," Snape said, frowning. "I trust that if a relationship develops between the two of you, that you'll bring him round."
Bart nodded miserably, looking down at the floor. His face was still red. He hoped that wasn't what Ianto thought; it was just a first date, right? Kon talked about dates like that, but Bart had never *seen* him do that; mostly just Cassie and he didn't think it had gone that way.
"You're still blushing. You haven't had sex with him already have you?" Snape asked, frowning.
Bart looked up at him in shock, mouth open slightly. "N, no! We haven't done anything like that, Mr. Snape!"
Snape relaxed against his chair, looking thoughtfully at Bart, wondering if he's scared the boy enough for him to keep his head about him. If anyone took advantage of the boy's naivete, he would have to kill them, and he'd rather not. "What time is your date?"
"What time is who's date?" Harry asked as he entered the sitting room, toweling dry his hair. He paused when he saw Bart and summoned a shirt to put on. "Hey Bart."
"Harry!" Bart said in relief, grin spreading across his face. "Um, my date. At seven. Um."
"He hardly knows the man," Snape grumbled.
"It's just a first date, Mr. Snape!"
"Yeah, really Severus," Harry said through the cotton of his tee-shirt as he pulled it over his head. "What's the problem?"
"I am merely making certain that Bart will be safe," Snape said defensively.
Harry grinned, bemused. "That's nice and all, but it's not like he's a kid. Right, Bart?"
Bart *beamed* at Harry. "Yeah, Mr. Snape. I'll be fine. It's not like it's the first time I've gone out with someone or anything. And he is really nice, Mr. Snape."
"You will use condoms should things progress to a more physical level?" Snape asked.
That blush was back with a vengeance. "O, of course," he squeaked.
Harry gaped at Snape for the duration of Bart's mortification. "How many times have you told him that?!"
Snape scowled at Harry. "Enough to ensure he does!"
"For the love of God Sev. He's not ten. I think he's capable of making sure he's got protection of some sort." Harry ran a hand over his face. "Who are you going out with anyways Bart?"
"Um," Bart started distractedly, "Ianto. Ianto Jones." He smiled a little again. "D'you remember, he helped Psmith with the ball?"
"Psmith's neighbor? The quiet one?"
Bart nodded happily. "Yeah, he's from Wales. We took care of Psmith when he was sick."
"He seemed nice." Harry looked thoughtfully at Bart for a moment. "How'd you manage to snag him anyways?"
Snape's head whipped around to Harry. "I take it you find him attractive as well?"
Bart looked back and forth between the two of them anxiously. "I, I don't think he's, um, snagged, or anything. It's just dinner, so..."
"What would you do if I said yes?" Harry shot back, completely ignoring Bart, just for the moment.
Snape glared at Harry, ignoring the question.
Harry didn't so much bat an eyelash before going back to Bart's earlier statement. "I meant how'd you get him to agree? He seems antisocial."
"Oh." Bart said, a little surprised. "I dunno. I just asked. We got along pretty well when I made soup for Psmith, so I thought..." Suddenly he looked a little glum. "I hope he didn't feel obligated 'cause of that guy..."
Harry's brow furrowed in concern and he went and sat next to Bart. He curled his leg under him so he was sitting sideways on the couch facing the other boy. "What guy?"
Bart sighed. "There was this guy, he was being really obnoxious when I was asking. But it didn't seem like... I mean, I said if he didn't want to it was okay, so..."
"Who was being obnoxious?"
"The guy, I think he was John's friend," Bart clarified carefully.
"The one that lives in his head?"
"But then Ianto hit him and... No, not Dr. McKay! Dr. McKay isn't very nice, sometimes, but he's not *mean*."
"Bart, who is this person?" Snape asked, wondering if someone needed to be hexed.
"Who, Jim? He's, I dunno. He's just kind of mean, I guess, but he's okay." Bart replied, kind of confused. "I don't know. He's been okay since then..." Bart paused thoughtfully. "He calls me Julio. I guess it's kinda funny..."
"Do you know where this Jim person lives?" Snape asked, fingering his wand.
"Severus, don't even think it," Harry stated quietly.
Snape glared, still irritated at Harry for fancying some bloke he only met once.
"Oh, please. That hasn't been intimidating since I was 16."
"I dunno where he lives. Somewhere around Aternaville, or something."
"Anyway, it's just dinner, so, I dunno, it could go horribly or something anyway." Bart looked a little sad at the prospect. He really did like Ianto.
"Oh come on Bart. Don't get glum on us now," Harry scowled at Snape then stuck his tongue out at the man. "It'll be fine and look on the bright side if something bad does happen, you'll have Snape around to kick whoevers arse needs kicking at the time, and we always have mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer."
"Hey, I can kick ass for myself," Bart replied, sticking his tongue out at Harry and laughing. Then he hugged him. "Thanks."
"Course! S'what I'm here for. Saving the day and what not. Ask the prick over there," Harry said, pointing at Snape.
"Potter, will be discussing your affectionate names at a later date," Snape said, a sickly smile on his face.
Bart leaned over. "I think you hurt his feelings. Maybe I should go so you two can make up?" He whispered to Harry, albeit not *too* quietly - it's possible Mr. Snape could still have heard.
"Don't be ridiculous, Bart." Snape scowled at the two of them. "I'm going to make tea." He rose from his chair and went to the kitchen in search of earl grey.
Harry shook his head in exasperation. "Ignore him. It's what I always do. Now about your date with Ianto, do you know where you're going yet?"
Bart looked worriedly after Mr. Snape, but turned back to Harry. "We're going to the Italian place," he replied.
Harry chewed on his lower lip. "Do you have any more nice clothing other than what you wore to the Yule Ball?"
"Yeah," Bart said with a smirk. "Tim said I should wear the blue shirt Carol gave me for Christmas and my black slacks. D'you think that's good? Carol has really good taste, it's a really nice shirt."
"I wouldn't know till I see it, but yeah, sounds about right to me. It's a good color to wear to an Italian restaurant, never wear white, single most embarrassing thing you could ever do."
Bart noted Harry's advice seriously, nodding with a straight face, like he was taking notes.
Heate: Harry grinned. "But don't worry too much, even if something like that did happen, Ianto doesn't seem the type to point it out...least not in public anyways."
Bart grinned, but then looked anxious. "S...Should I bring him flowers?" he asked tentatively. "If he were a girl, definately, I know that, but... do you bring guys flowers?"
Harry frowned thoughfully. "Honestly, I have no idea. I'm usually absolute shite at dating, but it wouldn't hurt. Maybe just one, a bunch might be a bit much."
Snape entered the room carrying a tray of tea. "Perhaps a small flower for his lapel?"
Bart nodded seriously, then smiled. "Thanks, Mr. Snape."
"White I think, as it has less chance of clashing with his wardrobe then say, a red rose would," he added, pouring them all a cup of tea.
"When'd you become so knowledgable about this?" Harry asked keeping his tone as neutral as possible while taking his tea.
Snape shrugged negligently and sipped his tea. "Experience?"
Bart looked entirely serious over the rim of his teacup. "You guys are both a lot better at this than I am."
Harry snorted. "Maybe he is. My experience with dating has been a complete failure...till now that is."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Observation is where I learned it, Bart, watching other people."
"Pervert," Harry mumbled into his tea cup.
"That's two, Potter."
Bart sipped his tea like a learned behavior, but he laughed a little at Harry's comment. Still... "That's, people are too slow sometimes. I forget to watch. So."
"Ahh, I see," Snape agreed, nodding.
"You make it sound like a spectator sport," Harry snorted. "Dating is something you're supposed to do, not watch."
"Why can't one do both?" Snape asked airily.
Bart's still smiling, but his tea is gone so he doesn't have an excuse to hide behind it. "I'm better at reading and watching. But they don't tell you these things, you know."
"No, they don't," Harry agreed, swirling the remains of the tea in his cup.
"Easier," he says quietly, but he really means *faster*, *at his speed*, *controlled*.
Harry hummed softly and set his tea cup down on the coffee table.
"You will go on your date, you will have fun, and you were report back here," Snape said, as if it were a given.
Harry coughed to smother his laughter.
"What?" Snape asked, frowning.
"Report?" Bart croaked before dissolving into giggles. "Report."
"Yes, that's what I said." Scowl.
"Report." Still giggling, Bart fell off the couch.