Who: Lily, Sirius and Harry
What: Sirius asked the Potters to lunch
When: Afternoon
Where: The place Lily shares with Remus
Why: Cause Dani is a butt whom I <3 and I am procrastinating physics studyage.
Rating: Um...medium?
Status: Incomplete.
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Yays tagging! )
He knocked firmly, before any of his thoughts or emotions about this reunion could catch up with him.
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On second thought...
Lily opened the door with a grin, seeing her friend a bit older than he'd been last time she saw him. Younger than both Remus and Severus, but still older than she was.
"You learned to use the door?" she said, a twinkle in her eye.
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Exactly as he remembered her. Exactly as she had looked the day she and James--
"Merlin only knows what you might have been doing in here," he retorted, chuckling because it was the much better option over the other emotions battling inside him. "I wouldn't want to cause myself permanent emotional damage because I couldn't handle knocking on the door."
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"Missed you too, wench," he smiled.
In the half-second of silence that followed, he had to suck in a sharp breath. The thing was, hugging meant close contact, and close contact meant scents, and scents meant memories, and memories meant....
Sirius bit his lip and gave Lily another squeeze.
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"And I did miss you, much as you might doubt it," Lily quipped. The joking tone suddenly gone from her voice, she looked at him more carefully. "What's wrong?"
Lily was trained in looks from her friends. Though she was most skilled at James' expressions, followed by Remus', Sirius tended to have such easily readable expressions. Wore his heart on his sleeve. Sure, it meant you could always tell when he was pissed, but it also meant it was easier to tell when he was happy or something was wrong. She was leaning toward the something being wrong, at the moment...
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But of course Lily was too smart for that, and the fact that she'd so easily been able to catch his mood change only reminded him of how good their friendship had been. Despite all his greatest efforts, he felt a mist over his eyes. "Just... I... sorry," he got the words out quickly and tried to blink the evidence of his upset away.
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For Lily it had been weeks since she'd seen Sirius. Not months or years. She'd missed him and James like it was longer than that, but it didn't feel as long as it much have felt for him.
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All those years in that horrid prison cell, full of all the torment and guilt and sorrow the Dementors could drive into him, wanting nothing more than to go back and change the horrible choice he'd made. To see his friends, to never make the mistake that had destroyed them all. To beg forgiveness. To make things right.
Now he had that chance right in front of him, and all those years of silent grief were threatening to break down the dam and crash through all at once. "It's all my fault," he whispered, unable to look at Lily, staring down at his hands. "Everything. I'm so... I'm so sorry...."
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She took his hands in hers, her usually so jubilant friend. James' best friend. "It was not your fault. You have nothing to apologize for, understand?"
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"Sirius, no one knew who the real spy was. No one. Not you, not me, not James, not Remus, not even Dumbledore. So don't you dare blame yourself for my and James' deaths. You don't even get to be in the triumvirate of blame. Well. It's more a hierarchy of blame, but you. You're so far away from the blame that you're on a different planet in a different solar system, maybe even in a different universe."
Lily blinked away a tear before she continued. "You are not even in the least bit a coward. I'm not going to deny the claim of idiocy, but coward? Not at all."
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Lily finished with a sigh. She hadn't gone on a lecture in a while. With a final squeeze she pulled out of the hug, and took her knees in her arms instead. "I'm glad you're here. I really am."
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When they parted from the hug, Sirius wiped the still trickling tears from his eyes and cheeks, then rested a hand on one of Lily's. "I'm really glad you're here too. Merlin, you have no idea how much I would have done just to see you and James one last time."
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"Well you got half of it at least. The redheaded half," she said quietly, looking down. Lily really missed James. More than she was willing to admit to herself or Remus.
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