When: Friday night, August 26
Where: Coming into town along Main Street
Who: Carrot Ironfoundersson & OPEN
What: Someone's about to be very, very, very confused
Rating: Depends on who finds him! For Carrot's part, probably no higher than G
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If you could kindly direct me to the Hubwards Gate... )
Well, now Carrot was just speculating. None of his books had mentioned anything like Abraham. He'd get the answers eventually, he figured.
"Until 1989 UC it was the Century of the Fruit Bat," he offered, in case that helped.
The rain covered the sound of Abe's stomach, but Carrot did notice the gesture. Then he seemed to remember they were getting rained on. "Oh, of course. I'd appreciate that very much. It seems like I've got a lot..." A lot to learn? He didn't even know what he needed to learn about yet. "A lot of questions.
"Unless - I've got nothing against your city, you understand, but I don't suppose that I could just turn around and walk back to Ankh-Morpork the way I came?" Something about Abe's manner made him doubt it, but he thought it worth asking.
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"I shall try to answer them all to the best of my ability. I'm afraid even those who have been here quite a while still do not possess all of the answers to the secrets the town has," Abe said.
"I'm afraid that might not be advisable, no. But I have no qualms against your trying. Though I do insist that you sit down and eat, first. I am very interested in where you came from," Abe said coming next to him and putting a hand softly on his shoulder as a guide. "I suppose a name to this town would help? You're now on Aternaville. I don't suppose you've heard of a place called Canada?" He subtly led the increasingly intriguing man toward the diner.
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A very, very different leg, if years weren't even reckoned the same. "B.C...." he repeated, slowly, letting all this sink in. "As in... Borogravian Calendar? Only I think they share their calendar with Überwald. All part of the former Dark Empire, you know." He was just sort of letting his mouth go at this point. Reciting interesting (to him, anyway) trivia about various cities and cultures came easily to Carrot, even while his brain was busy puzzling over his current situation, which almost undoubtedly had nothing to do with Borogravia.
He found he was being steered gently across the street, and didn't try to resist. Once you got wet enough, you sort of stopped noticing, but it would certainly be easier to hold this conversation indoors. And it was rather rude of him to keep this helpful stranger standing out in the rain.
"Aternaville," he repeated, taking the same care Abe had to get the pronunciation correct. "And Canada. No, I'm sorry, I haven't." And that was very unusual for Carrot too. He wasn't widely traveled, but there weren't many places on the Discworld that he hadn't at least read about.
He held the door open for Abe, noting that it was quite the best quality glass he'd ever seen. And glass for a door? That alone would tell him he wasn't in Ankh-Morpork anymore. Wooden doors got broken on a weekly basis when customers got overenthusiastic, even in the nicer eateries. Glass would be sheer folly.
And then he saw the interior, and the door was forgotten. Absently he removed his helmet and ran his fingers through his dripping red hair, staring around at the place.
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"Oh, well, I suppose that's no surprise," Abe said with a shrug of his shoulder. "Your world seems entirely different in structure and possibly geography. How fascinating, a dimension not parallel but possibly in tangent with our own! It really is the stuff of legends, you must understand."
Abe walked backwards into the diner narrowly missing colliding with a patron walking out. "Pardon...Uh. Captain? Are you alright?"
Abe looked around him but didn't notice anything spectacular as the emotions that were radiating from the man inferred.
"Hey, sweet. You wanna put that fire out for me, huh?" A woman's voice behind the counter pointed to the lantern that Carrot held.
Abe turned sharply at the lantern and looked up at the broad man curiously. Had he never seen electricity?
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"U.C. stands for the Unseen University Calendar," he offered in return. "It's more popular for common use than the Ankh-Morpork Calendar. It counts in half-years, which most people find more intuitive, I think."
A man the size of Carrot makes a very effective door block, which he realized after a few moments when he blinked and noticed the patron trying to squeeze past him. Hastily he stepped aside. "Oh, yes, of course. Pardon me." Opening one of the lantern's cloudy glass panels, he blew out the flame. During all of this, his eyes never stopped moving around the room.
It was definitely the lights which had his primary focus. As he finally followed Abe further inside, he leaned a little closer. "The light - it's magic? Salamanders? Or... some sort of alchemist's device?"
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"Unseen University Calender," he recited. "I assume the Ankh-Morpork Calender chooses full years? Is that the time it takes for your world to revolve around its sun, then? How...unique...to count half that time."
Abe was finding a booth when Carrot murmured the statement that sealed Abe's suspicions. "Very close...except for the part about...salamanders. It is actually a work of science! If you have ever witnessed the meteorological phenomena known as lightning then the lights you see now is a harnessing of that power. The same concept that a bolt from the sky uses to create its show is utilized in small glass bulbs," he said pointing upward to the fixtures. "Its discovery has lead to several advancements in this world. Though they might seem magical," he explained as he sat down in the booth, "they are simply an advancement of technology. For instance, armor would seem a great mystery to those of your past who had not yet invented the protective wear."
The waitress from behind the bar came up to the table leaning herself on one hip.
"Abe. Three hard boiled eggs, a side of lightly toasted bread with strawberry jam and a glass of water?"
"Oh dear. Am I that predictable?" Abe stuttered.
"No. I'm just that good. Hey handsome, need some time to look over the menu?," the waitress then asked Carrot, sliding a menu toward him with a wink seemingly oblivious to his obviously out of date outfit.
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"A full astronomical year is the time it takes for the Disc to complete one full rotation," Carrot said slowly. Maybe Abraham had misspoken again. Carrot wanted to make sure they were clear. "A half-year is the length of a single orbit of the sun around the Disc. That's the reason most people prefer it. Only four seasons, only four hundred days." For some reason, the throwaway world revolving around the sun comment was more upsetting than anything Abe had said so far. Because... well, it was the world. Religions were one thing, but you couldn't just go around changing how the world worked.
After that, the explanation about the light seemed like nothing. It sounded sort of alchemical, without (he hoped) the explosions. "Harnessing lightning in small glass enclosures, and you say it isn't magic?" he murmured, not really expecting an answer, as he shifted his sword awkwardly to allow him to slide into the booth.
The material of the bench was strange. The material of the table was strange. The material of the floor was strange. And then a serving woman was there, handing him a menu coated in some other strange substance. Carrot was feeling more unbalanced by the moment. At least eggs, bread, and jam were familiar.
Despite his discomfiture, he smiled at the serving woman as he accepted the menu. "Yes, thank you. May I have a glass of milk to start?" Good gods, he hoped they had milk here.
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Even more disconcerting was Captain Ironfoundersson's disgruntled reply to electricity. Abe felt Carrot's discontentment from across the table. He was treading on very unsteady floors here. He suddenly found himself in a position where he could likely shake Carrot's concept of reality as he'd known it.
"Sure thing," the waitress replied with a smirk.
A moment passed after she left in where Abe's fingers danced soundlessly on the table.
"I feel as if I might have upset you, Captain Ironfoundersson," he started. "Perhaps if I explain. And then you may explain your world to me we might have a better idea of how things differ. The world you are on now is of a very...different...shape than the world you originate. It is a sphere, as a ball is, and it rotates as such on an axis." Abe mimed this all with his hands. "In this rotation it also revolves around our sun. It is my understanding from your reply that your world does not follow these...physics. Rather, your world is a disc and its sun revolves around it? Am I right in that assumption?"
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He listened carefully to Abe's explanation, sensing that Abe, too, was trying to make sure they were clear. And there were other worlds. Carrot knew there were other worlds. He'd just never expected to find himself on one.
"A round world." His voice was quiet and thoughtful. "A... round world. The wizards at the University sometimes mention a world like that. I had the impression it was something they'd created in the High Energy Magic Building. A project they used to drain off some of the extra magic buildup. A fully operational Roundworld, they said. I never knew much more about it." Was that where he was? Transported into the wizards' experiment?
He took a deep breath. "Yes, the Discworld is... well, yes, a disc. It's supported on the backs of four tremendous elephants, which are themselves standing on the shell of Great A'Tuin, the World Turtle, as it swims through space." There was no sign in his face or voice that he thought he was saying anything in any way absurd. It made more sense than a round world. "It rotates around the Hub, and the sun orbits it. Once every eight hundred days."
Logic asserted itself even as he said that. If 'years' didn't mean the same thing, and the world itself wasn't structured the same way... "A day is twenty-four hours," he added, watching Abe's face carefully. It was difficult to read, but it might give some sign of whether he was uncovering more differences. If he could intercept some of them now, that might prevent them ambushing him later. "And a week is eight days. Each month is thirty-two days, except for Ick; that's sixteen. And there are twenty-six months in a full year. Eight hundred days."
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He took a breath and clenched and unclenched his fists, embarrassed at implying that Carrot's view of his world could be anything but true. Now was not to time to shake foundations of his own reality of where he originated.
"A day here is twenty-four hours as well," he said with a nod. "Though our week is only seven days. Our months vary from 30 to 31 days each though February is 28 days except every fourth year when it gains a day. There are 12 months, though a very long time ago there used to be a 13th. A full year is three hundred and sixty-five days, three hundred and sixty-six every fourth year when February gains that day. Hm. Your sun must make a slower or wider orbit about your...Discworld than our world makes around our sun even though both of our worlds tend to rotate at the same speed, that is if an hour is even analogous to both of us."
He still looked sheepish at his comment before.
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The numbers Abe was offering clanged awkwardly in his head. The trouble was, not one of those numbers was a multiple of eight. How could one have an ordered world if it wasn't begun on a common base? Where did one get all these numbers? They seemed so arbitrary.
All right, it was based on some religion that sounded like a more widely-accepted version of Omnianism, but where had they got it?
It was an interesting question, and one which Carrot might have to research if he were here long.
"Your year is only a bit shorter than our half-year," he mused, "so I suppose that means... our sun's orbit around our world is just a bit longer than your world's orbit around your sun. But the rotation of our world - did you say your world makes a full rotation in an hour? That seems awfully fast. Wouldn't people fly off?"
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Abe nodded at everything Carrot said except the last.
"I'm afraid you misunderstood. It takes 24 of our hours to rotate completely. A day. But even if we were to rotate at that speed I doubt that we'd fall off. A concept known as gravity provides explanation to why when we jump we fall back down to earth. I don't believe the momentum would be as such to come into contrary with that. Though I'd have to check the exact math on it. Ah! Thank you, Pamela," Abe asked before he could clarify his curiosity about how long an hour was to the captain. 60 minutes? How long was a minute then? 60 seconds? Was their second the same? It was a growing list of questions.
The waitress put down Carrot's milk as well.
"Decide on anything?" she asked, her red cheeks meeting her eyes in a smile.
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His discomfort was fading pretty quickly. Not because the situation had changed any - he was still apparently in an unfamiliar city on a completely alien world. But there didn't seem to be very much he could do about that just now. He could worry about getting home later.
New things, modern things, new ideas had always excited him. And there was quite literally a whole world of new ideas being laid out in front of him.
"I know about gravity, it's the force that pulls everything downward. Only wouldn't the people around where the world curves start to slip? And what about the folk on the other side, do they walk about upside down? Feet on the ceiling, that sort of thing?" A round world. He wished he'd asked the wizards more about their experiment when he'd had the chance. Disc physics did not apply well to a sphere.
For instance, their whole world turned once every twenty-four hours. While a greater time than one hour, that still seemed very fast for something the size of a world to be spinning.
Carrot's honest face was lined with intense concentration, his lips moving silently as he tried to recollect what he'd read about the calendars and the way they worked. He was no scholar; he just collected interesting facts as they presented themselves, and they tended to sit around in the back of his head, awaiting their opportunity to be shared again when a conversation got 'round to them. He was afraid he might have got these a bit twisted up.
"The sun," he tried again, checking each statement for accuracy before he let it out of his mouth, "circles the Disc once every day. The Disc's rotation takes a half-year. Sorry, Mr. Sapien, I think I may have been the one to misspeak this time. It's all getting a bit confusing."
Before he could go on, the serving woman came back, and Carrot realized with a start that he hadn't even looked at the menu. "Oh - yes, of course, sorry." He picked it up and studied the words. A few familiar ones jumped out at him, but Carrot was a slow reader at the best of times, and he didn't want to keep the woman waiting. "Uh... I'll have the same, please, ma'am." He pointed at Abe with a sheepish smile. Egg and toast seemed safe. "Thank you very much."
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"Gravity is a bit more complex than that. Our gravitational charge comes from the center of the spherical planet. In fact, all of the planets around us have differing gravitational charges which would draw us further away from the surface or push us down with more force. As for those on the 'other side'; there is no difference in their perspective of their world than ours because the same gravity that holds us holds them and all of the objects. Our world is vast enough that curvature is not even noticed when one is standing on its surface which was why those cultures who first asked questions about the Earth assumed it was flat," Abe informed.
Abraham studied the man's face with admiration. He waited patiently and rode the ebb and flow of the emotions that fluttered to him with curiosity. Abe nodded when he finally did speak.
"It is quite alright, captain. With such differences it is logical to even remember correctly what is true about our own respective dimensions. And it is a lot to take in as you've just arrived," Abe consoled.
Abraham felt it rude of him to eat before Carrot had ordered but he was very hungry. Getting caught up in books and forgetting the time often married itself with forgetting to eat. He'd peeled off the shell and swallowed the egg whole, his preference for eating eggs when hungry, before he looked up at the captain's choice with a start.
"Uh-Pam!" Abe called, putting a hand on her wrist. "I believe the captain would prefer his eggs a bit hotter? Perhaps scrambled or over easy? I think you will prefer it this way, my friend, especially on a day like today."
"And not a day old?" Pam asked with a smirk.
"I thought they tasted sharper than last time! My appreciation, Pamela," Abe said, delighted.
"I gotta take care of my fish guys. Don't ever say I don't listen, huh? So what about it, cap'? Scrambled good?" Pamela asked.
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He pondered the shape and nature of worlds. Gravity here pulled things on the surface toward the center of the sphere; that was why no one slipped or fell off. And he could get what Abraham was saying about the curve not being perceptible. On the other hand, he still couldn't really grasp how people on the upside-down side couldn't tell they were upside down.
...Was he on the upside-down side? He tried this idea out in his head, attempting to 'be aware' of being oriented not exactly upright to see if he would be able to sense it, but nothing changed. Maybe if he tried this experiment outside, when it was light out, there would be signs.
Which made him wonder if he was really going to still be here when it was light out. Well. If he was home by then, he could just ask the wizards about it. Once they'd eaten he would have to turn his attention to getting home. He didn't want to be impolite.
The discussion over his eggs earned both Abe and the waitress a surprised look. When you lived in Ankh-Morpork, and especially when you were a bachelor in Ankh-Morpork living on a policeman's salary, you didn't generally say how you wanted your eggs done. You ordered eggs, and the cook threw a couple of eggs of dubious origin into a pan coated with the burnt remains of all the eggs and other things that had been cooked in it over the preceding weeks or months or years, and applied fire to it in whatever way and for however long suited their fancy, and whatever they scraped out onto a plate, you ate. That was just the nature of most of the city's eateries.
"Yes - er, yes. That sounds splendid. Thank you, ma'am." He hadn't had time to find the prices on the menu, but he reached into a pouch at his waist and pulled out a shilling and a few sixpences and thrupenny bits. It was a bit more than what he'd expect to pay for a meal in Ankh-Morpork, but he'd prefer to overpay.
Looking at the coins, it occurred to him that there was a better than even chance that there would be more differences here. "Currency?" he asked in sudden concern, looking from Pam to Abraham. "That is, have you got the dollar here as well?"
Of course, he reminded himself, they also had the 'year' here. That didn't mean the value was the same. Placing the coins on the table, he picked up the menu and traced his finger over to the column with the prices. There was no mistaking the shock that flickered over his face.
"I suspect," he said after a moment, holding the menu a little further away as if afraid of it, "that your dollar and ours are not quite the same either."
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It would be impossible, Abe thought, to truly explain his known origins. He didn't know how far Carrot's world's science had progressed. Telling the man that he'd been found in a small cylindrical tank and then having to explain the significance of Abraham Lincoln's date of death being inscribed near the tank as a relation to his name seemed not only too complex but too detailed of an explanation.
Abe was about to savor his second egg when the question arouse, "Hm? Yes."
And then a moment after that he nodded. "I was aware of that possibility, captain. Don't worry, though. I've got you covered. When I invited you to eat I did not expect you to pay."
He bit into his second hard boiled egg with a contented sound. Though not centuries old, the day of letting it out certainly added that hint of familiarity to the flavor.
"Tell me captain, are there any non humans in your dimension that are sentient?" Abe asked, curious.
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