Every Dok has a doctor...or at least a doctor's son

[shut_up_wesley]

Who: Wesley and Dok
What: A rather curious, if worrying reunion
Where: Dok's house
When: Mid-Afternoon
Rating: PG
Status: Incomplete/Closed

Comments

[ridokulous]

Dok blinked when he heard that the last time he'd been seen was exactly the last time he'd remembered being here. It was startling to think that he'd just lost three months of his life. While it wasn't necessarily uncommon for him to have his brain tinkered with while under Millennium's employ, it had never been like this. Back then, it was just brainwash. He had never had his memory as wiped as it was now, and definitely not covering such a long span of time.

Whatever was used to erase his memory had been faulty, though, as he could still feel disjointed sensations or thoughts that fragmented the moment that they were touched upon. Though he was far from an expert on the matter, he knew enough about that sort of thing to know that that wasn't supposed to happen, especially so soon.

And again, he felt dizzy if he lingered on the thought.

As soon as Wesley suggested relaxing, he wiped the thought from his mind. There were more important things to think about, after all.

He listened to everything his friend was saying, and winced at the mention of the girl. "That's awful. At least Aternaville has someone as quick and helpful as you, or else we'd all be in trouble," he smiled.

"I'll do my best to remember as soon as I can, but for now, I'd much rather focus on something more pleasant -- like the fact that you're here."

Words would do little to describe the contentment that he felt to be here again. Not in Aternaville, not in a hospital, but with someone that cared for him, and that he cared for in return. He had made it through whatever darkness had consumed him and come back to where he was needed; where he was human. It was almost too good to be true.

...wait...

The thought caused his heart to skip, as evidenced in the sharp beep of the monitor behind Wesley. Could this be a dream? It would be the best one that he'd had so far, if it was.

Still, the line between what was reality and what had been a memory or a dream hadn't been entirely clear for the past few days, so he had good reason to doubt.

After a moment of hesitation, he moved a still-shaky hand up until it touched Wesley's cheek. The amount of relief that he felt when it connected was so profound that he could hardly contain his emotions.

"Thank God..."

[shut_up_wesley]

It was obvious the gap in his memory was really bothering Dok, and something about his expressions as he thought to himself made wes think that he already had an idea or two about what had happened, but if thinking about the experience made him ill, Wes had no intention of forcing him to talk about it. Instead, he only shook his head.

"I was just in the right place in the right time to help, that's all. The same with you...I wouldn't have noticed the door was open if I hadn't walked home from school the direction I did." It made Wes feel awkward, any time someone complimented him like that--they both seemed such small deeds compared to things he'd done in the past. "I'll stay here as long as Dr. Pierce lets me," he promised, inching the chair he sat in a little closer to the bed. Dok would be scared of being alone after all of this.

"This isn't something we want to rush..." he repeated, remembering back to the last time they'd seen enough other and Dok making him rest after the explosion in his garage laboratory. "Mom always warned me doctors can be either the worst or the best patients sometimes."

A contented silence settled over the two of them, until Dok reached up, one long handle cradling Wesley's cheek. A blush warmed both cheeks--only his mother was this affectionate with him, ever...but Wes leaned into the touch regardless, understanding that there was something Dok needed to express that went beyond language.

"What's the matter?" He asked, although Dok's expression told him that for the first time in a very long while, nothing was.

[ridokulous]

The idea of not being alone at a time like this was immeasurably comforting. It wasn't exactly that he would be afraid if he was -- though, perhaps there was a little of that -- it was more that having Wesley around made the whole thing seem much less awful. It was an invaluable feeling to have.

A new light seemed to cross the doctor's eyes when he was asked what was wrong, before he laughed quietly, slightly embarrassed about his answer. "I-I'm sorry. I just...had to make sure you were real."

Hearing it out loud sounded so ludicrous that the quiet laugh continued, even as the flood of emotions got the better of him and the tears began to fall, which only caused him to laugh a little more.

"That's ridiculous, isn't it?" he said through chuckles as the tears just kept coming. The feeling of warmth beneath his had was enough to cause him to arrive at the slightly jarring conclusion that everything was going to be alright. Whatever he'd gone through was over and he was safe at home.

The only thing more shocking than that thought was that, for the first time, he realized that he had found a home. That was the last thing he thought he'd find when he booked that plane ticket to Canada all those months ago.

"It's just that...I don't know how to explain it. I have no idea where I've been...what I've done...what I've been made to do..." he trailed off for a moment, wholly terrified at the implications of that statement before he forced himself to let it go, "But being here, now...all I know is how much I've missed you," he admitted, the words catching in his throat before he found them again "...and how glad I am to see you again."

Because of his blurred vision, it took him a while to notice that Wes was blushing. He would have wondered why for all of a heartbeat before he realized the placement of his hand that still lingered. He would guess that not a lot of people touched him like that, and it might be embarrassing. "O-Oh, sorry about that," he apologized as he began to move his had away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. By then, he was blushing too.

[shut_up_wesley]

Suddenly all of Dok's odd behavior from the moment they met made sense at the phrase "what I was made to do..." and a shudder of pity went through Wesley. He knew that there were a lot of people that found their way, or made their way to Aternaville to escape their pasts and whatever had happened to Dok must have been awful. So awful, in fact, that the slightest act of kindness had him weeping openly.

"Not ridiculous at all..." Wes strained, his heart breaking a little at a time as the implications of Dok's confession were made clear. There didn't seem to be a day in the man's life that he once believed he had control over his own fate...at least until he arrived in town. "I...missed you too!" No longer caring who saw or what they might think, Wes all but pushed past Dok's hand, wrapped both arms around his chest and hugged him tightly. So much had happened since Dok had left--Dairine vanishing and not telling him, that horrible, horrible alternate timeline which he still remembered so vividly, mostly because it played off his worst fears...that one blip of hope where it seemed The Doctor had returned...everything Wes had kept bottled because there was simply no one to really talk to...all of it came rushing out.

"Never letting you out of my sight again." Wes said, the words muffled against Dok's shirt. "May as well let you know that now."

[ridokulous]

The monitor behind them sounded, giving away how erratic his heartbeat had become, and how it skipped to hear how strained the boy's voice was. At least he wasn't alone in that regard.

Never had that been more apparent than when Wesley spoke again.

"I...missed you too!"

Those words, coupled with the emotion behind them, struck Dok almost entirely dumbfounded. So much so that it took him a moment to react to the hug itself when it happened. When he did, though, it was as though someone had opened a floodgate. His arms found their way -- cautiously, to make sure that nothing attached to him got displaced -- around Wesley. It was gentle at first, but soon became a little tighter, almost like he didn't want to let him go. He couldn't even be bothered to attempt remembering the last time anyone was this close to him -- physically and figuratively -- since he knew that he would find nothing if he did.

He found himself trembling as he lowered his head to rest against his friend's, so wholly moved that he couldn't even speak. All amusement dropped from him as the tears fell of their own volition.

Still, something was strange. Dok hadn't known Wesley to be so easily shaken, so there had to have been something else that had contributed to his current state. He couldn't quite place it, but it felt like there was something that the boy had been keeping bottled up, in addition to worrying about his whereabouts. Instantly, he felt guilty for being gone for so long, and he subconsciously gave a light, barely-there nuzzle, which he didn't really catch.

"I'm so sorry for being gone if you needed me..."

He did manage a chuckle through the tears as he was informed that Wesley wouldn't let him out of his sight.

"I'm more than just a little okay with that," he admitted quietly, "In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way."

It meant more than he could say to know that such a weighty promise had come on his behalf, and it only served to make him feel even more content. In fact, those words accompanied by everything else that had been spoken, made him feel...what was the word?

Oh, yeah.

Loved.

[shut_up_wesley]

It took Wesley some time to convince his own body that Dok wouldn't disappear again if he let him go, and when they finally did release each other, Wes was sniffling a little but smiling, ear to ear. He didn't want to tell Dok what had happened while he was gone, but to save it...for a time when he was rested and they could talk about everything and maybe, just maybe Dok would tell him what his own past had been like. Even if he didn't though, Wes figured that would be just as well, especially if this was the closest to starting over the other man could get.

"It's alright, we can talk about it later...the fact is I've just been trying to bury myself with work. I have a few new hypotheses about the ravine, what sort of energies it reacts to. My sensors have been working great and I found a way to place them by remote-- I, I think that I might be able to eventually pin-point the temporal frequency the ravine is giving off. And if I can do that, it'll be a huge step in figuring out how to get home." Although, the thought of home carried with it it's own melancholy. He would hate to leave Dok.

'But would I have to?'

Taking a shuddering breath, Wes pulled himself completely upright. "And I've been thinking about it...if you really don't have any ties to your original time, if I was able to make it home...to my time...would you come with me? I know it might be a lot to ask, I...I don't even know anything about where you're from but, the only other person I would think of asking, well she's needed back in her time." Admiting that aloud for the first time hurt more than Wes could say, but the thought that he could help someone by taking them back with him eased it a little.

"If I'm really never going to let you out of my sight, I don't see how I can't make the offer."

[ridokulous]

The entire time that they embraced, Dok didn't for a moment wish for anything else. Just him. Just this. Nothing more, nothing less.

Wesley definitely wasn't the only one worrying about either of them disappearing, at any point during their exchange. After all he'd gone through, it was a very acute, almost palpable fear. Because of this, even as Wesley pulled from him, Dok made sure to at least keep a small amount of contact by seeking out one of Wesley's hands with one of his own.

Quelled both by the contact and the bright, infectious smile that Wesley had given, the doctor wiped his eyes with his unoccupied hand and listened to everything Wesley said. When he mentioned that he could remotely place the sensors, Dok brightened considerably. One memory that had been undisturbed was the day that he met Wesley, and the conversation they had about remotely placing the sensors. Something about not only being brought back to that memory, but the fact that their theory had been realized, made him feel a lot better.

Then, of course, he mentioned going back home.

It had been a disheartening thought the day that they met, but now it was completely crushing. Somewhere, selfishly, Dok had thought that perhaps after a while, Wesley would forget about leaving Earth. It was something that he would never have admitted aloud, simply because of how selfish it was, but he couldn't deny a breathtaking pang of sadness that he couldn't stay. Even then, he knew he couldn't say much about it. Unlike him, the boy had a family to return to, and he knew how much he missed his mother. He really did envy that.

And before he could think much else, Wesley spoke again, and his words left the silver-haired man staring in disbelief.

"I-....I'm sorry, did I black out again?" he asked, completely bewildered, "You'll have to excuse my need for clarity, but I could have sworn I heard you ask if I wanted to go back with you."

Had Wesley ever asked, Dok would tell him anything he wanted to know, albeit hesitantly. He had actually had every intention of doing that very thing the day that he moved in, but something had happened that kept him from it. What it was, unlike their first meeting, fit into the realm of things that were hard to remember.

[shut_up_wesley]

"Of course I mean it! I mean..." A slight blush returned to Wes' cheeks, not long enough to really be noticed-- he hoped. "If you wanted to. The truth is, I've sort of been working on plans for a space ship and I just don't have the equipment or the expertise to fly it on my own." It would be a little expensive and suspicious, even for a town like Aternaville, if Wes just bought some second-hand planet-hopper and modified it.

"So, I was hoping once you're better you'd like to work together. You being gone for a while gave me time to draw up plenty of designs, and I think I might have found one that would work." It was based off of a hybrid of a Peregrin fighter and a long-distance shuttle, both designs he knew by heart thanks to his training.

"Besides, something tells me you'd fit right in." Wes added with a slightly lop-sided smile.

[ridokulous]

And for the first time, it crossed his mind that he had actually died and ended up in Heaven, which is the only place that he could imagine something like this actually happening.

That thought lasted all of five seconds before his internal monologue piped up with an unmatched bitterness -- "Like you would end up there..."

All of the elation and acceptance that he felt to hear Wesley make that offer -- much less to hear him say that he thinks he'd fit in there -- came crashing down with the implications of that passing thought.

When it came down to it, Wesley didn't know what he'd done while under Millennium's employ. Regardless of how he came to do the things that he did, or whether or not he actively desired a part in any of it was irrelevant. The fact remained that his hands were stained with the blood of countless lives, and yet here he was accepting affection and kindness like he deserved any of it.

At first, he didn't think that they would be so close, so telling him would be of no consequence, but that was when they were only speaking on the forums. After they met, he held onto the delusion that they could just be acquaintances for all of five minutes before he realized the potential this relationship had. From there on, he was just being selfish. Every day that they spoke, Dok so desperately wanted to tell Wes what had happened, but he couldn't stand the idea of springing such a thing and having the one person that he'd grown to truly adore here loathe him for the monster that he had been. Every smile he gave he counted as a lie of omission, and he hated it.

Would Wes really want someone like that with him back in his time?

The whole thought process took about three seconds to complete, with little change to his expression before he gave a weary smile. "I..." he began, hesitating. How could he refuse without looking cold? How could he refuse at all? It was a terrible predicament with no clear way out.

Until he looked up and saw that smile.

Defeated, the weariness of his own smile faded into something genuine and grateful as he found his voice again.

"I would love nothing more."

This time, though, he promised himself that as soon as he was better, he would waste no time filing in the blanks between them. Until then, he decided that Wes had been through enough already, and there was no sense in worrying him any more with the idea that there was something so obviously being unsaid.

"Thank you, Wesley. I can't tell you what your offer means to me," he spoke humbly.

"And of course, I'd be honored to work with you on this project."

[shut_up_wesley]

There had been no doubt in Wesley's mind that Dok would agree, but still, the brief hesitancy felt out of place. Living around Betazoids had taught him to recognize mirco-expressions, those little quirks of expression that are almost automatic when something is wrong.

'Well he did just spend several months Cochrine knows where and doesn't remember a thing...' He reminded himself.

"That's great! Of course, recovering is more important, but if it'll help occupy your mind I can start bringing over some of the designs until the doctor says your ready to leave. I've been on bed rest enough to know the last thing you want is to sit there bored." Part of the problem with being related to a doctor, was that even after you felt fine, there was always at least a few days bed rest in order. "And if there's anything you want from your place I can stop by and grab it, no problem." Wes was talking too fast again, and he knew it, but at the very least it would help distract Dok a little from his current predicament. Around them, the day was obviously winding down as the muted halogen grew more and more pronounced against slowly dimming light from the windows, but Wes couldn't bring himself to leave...although there was still that homework he had to finish... Wes sighed, oh the burden of being a responsible student.

"Dok, to you mind if I run out for just a second? I left my physics homework on your living room floor." There was something a little sheepish about the admission, as it seemed a reminder of how swiftly he'd acted to get Dok to the hospital.

[ridokulous]

Dok couldn't hide a fond smile as Wesley began talking so quickly, but as always, he hung on to every word. It was a worrisome thought that he'd been on bed rest as much as it seemed, but with his adventurous nature, it wasn't exactly surprising. In fact, if he thought about it that way, it was kind of endearing.

"I can't think of anything I need off-hand, but you're more than welcome to go retrieve your homework," he said before an embarrassed laugh, "I'm sorry about that, by the way," he said, his sheepishness matching his companion's.

"Actually! To make it up to you, there should be a box by the couch marked 'Notes'. If you bring me the black binder in there, I've got something that I'd like to give you."

[shut_up_wesley]

Wes nodded, dark bangs loose and flopping a little as he did. "I'll be right back."

The truth was there was a second reason for him wanting to go back to the house, which was to use his tri-corder and scan every step Dok walked the other night. If there was any residual energy or strange readings that could account for Dok's memory loss, he'd be able to pick them up. Recalibrating a few things, Wes took his time when he got to the door, doing as sweeping a scan as he could manage. Right as he was about to give up, something blipped.

A muddy footprint. The make-up of the soil was very weird. Scrapping a sample off the carpet Wes stored it for later. Finally, he made his way to the couch, grabbed his homework and the box marked 'notes' in a familiar scrawl.

'Don't worry, Dok. I'm going to find out what happened to you, no matter what.'

By the time Wes returned to Dok's bedside he was smiling again, all traces of the previous determination gone. "Sorry that took a while, wanted to make sure all the other doors were shut. So what is it you'd like to give me?"

He had an idea, of course, a memory of a cold winter day and a conversation about wormhole technology came to mind...

[ridokulous]

Dok never suspected a thing, but had he known what Wesley's true motive was, there would be no words to describe his honor and adoration.

As soon as Wes left his field of vision and disappeared down the hall, Dok lied back with a sigh and tried his best to relax. Even though he didn't want to think about it, thoughts of where he'd been kept popping up.

Judging by the visions he'd had while he was under, the idea that it had to do with Millennium felt like a little more than an educated guess. The questions that followed were numerous: How had they known where he was? Who had taken him, since he knew for a fact that his branch of the battalion had died in London? What did they want? Why had they let him live? Was he implanted with a surveillance chip? Were they planning on coming back for him? Was Wesley in danger?

The last thought made him visibly wince.

Quickly shifting gears before he could linger on that thought, he wondered where he was taken, if it had been Millennium. They had bases everywhere -- Germany, South America, London. Why wouldn't there be one in Canada? But if that was the case, why did it take them so long to apprehend him?

There was no way to answer any of those questions for sure, and the implications that each of them held made him dizzy again. So, after deciding it best to get his mind of of it, he reached for the remote and turned the television up just a bit.

It was there that he was faced with a special about parallel universes, and wondered briefly if his parallel self would have to deal with any of this.

Then again, his parallel self might not have Wesley, so he was sure that he'd gotten the better end of that deal -- even if it came with war and apparent kidnapping.

In no time at all, Wes had returned. Dok smiled to see him come in, sitting up and turning the television down. "That's so kind of you," he said graciously before taking the notebook, "Thank you!"

With a smile, he flipped through a few pages. He had a feeling that Wes already had an idea -- a thought that made him smile just a little more. That boy was much too smart for his own good.

"I know you've probably figured it out already, but before I left, I was working on recreating my notes from the wormhole shield that you were interested in..." he said as he flipped through page after page, scribbled with idea after idea until he found it.

When he turned it over to return to Wes, there was a brief explanation written in messy handwriting, words in German that had been crossed out and replaced with their English counterparts, equations that would lead to the proper formula with detailed explanations and even a few comical drawings on the sides that demonstrated the way it was supposed to work. The whole thing spanned about two and a half pages.

"Excuse the penmanship -- that was just the first draft. I was going to re-write it before I gave it to you to make it more legible, but I think that after all you've been through, you deserve a little pick-me-up."

[shut_up_wesley]

It was all Wes could do not to laugh aloud looking through those pages; a smile he couldn't exactly control swept over his features, engulfing whatever worry might have been left, in a dark eye, the corners of his mouth...all was replaced by an awed, giddy amazement.

"Dok, this is incredible! And you did this with 21st century technology?" No, no, judging by the formulas and theories applied, it looked like it could come out of Starfleet R&D. "I don't believe it...I just don't believe it!"

'But it would work!' Wes thought happily. 'With just a little modification. It would work!'

"Do you have any idea of the kind on impact on interstellar travel this could have, if I could perfect this and bring it to my own time? It would change everything we know. Dok, you have to help me get back home with this...you'd get full credit of course, for the theory, I'd never dream of taking that from you but..." Wes' mind was racing. Not only did he have the one man back in his life who cared so deeply for him...but now he also had an absolutely revolutionary technology at his fingertips.

"Pick-me-up is right..." Wes breathed, having to check the urge to hug Dok again.

[ridokulous]

Wesley's praise was nothing short of humbling, Dok couldn't help but think as he realized that he was blushing.

"I-It's nothing, really..." he stammered modestly, "It was just a way to deflect bullets and the like. We had done a lot with quantum mechanics beforehand, so I didn't really think much of it during it's conception, but if you think it's that revolutionary, you're more than welcome to do as you like with it. Credit doesn't really matter one way or another, but I'll certainly help you in anything you need."

"Pick-me-up is right..."

Dok couldn't help but laugh; a genuine, carefree laugh that he was surprised still existed. There was a light behind his eyes that spoke of true happiness, too.

"You're so cute," he snickered, unable to really stop himself from saying it. Of course, that urge of Wesley's didn't exactly have to be checked -- where he was concerned, Dok may as well be a hug machine.

He hadn't meant to marginalize his friend's excitement. It was just, the way that he looked when he got so excited was adorable.

"I'm sorry," he laughed, "I don't mean to sound like I'm not taking your enthusiasm seriously, I just hardly ever see you get so worked up about anything. It's just really endearing."

Looks like he'd found his own pick-me-up!

[shut_up_wesley]

Wes was getting better and not feeling too embarrassed when Dok came out with lines like, "you're so cute" but he'd been concentrating so hard on the notes the comment caught him off guard and he flushed brightly for a second or two.

"Well, it's just...this is really incredible, I mean, I don't think you understand...this is something we're just starting to understand four hundred years from now, and all the answers are sitting in my lap." Wes wanted to make sure Dok understood, because in all of his travels, this was the last thing he ever expected. "And this was just to deflect projectiles?"

'Overkill much?' But it made sense: any form of shield that worked off of the principle of using a flat or convex surface or force to deflect something could always be broken-- but if the 'shield' in question was essentially a cylinder--a worm hole event, even--destabilizing it became an entirely different matter.

"You sound like my mom. She used to think it was adorable when she'd finish a shift and come back to our quarters and I'd built something out of whatever spare parts were lying around. She always used to say there was no need for the particle recycler as long as I was traveling with her." Granted, it had stopped being cute when with the help of a home-built voice synthesizer and force fhild generator he'd effectively taken control of the ship and nearly killed them all. The supply of spare parts had all but evaporated from their shared quarters after that point.