(Untitled)

[the_five_signs]

Who:  Harry Potter and Remus Lupin
When:  Saturday, January 31st, 3:03am
Where:  Remus' house.
What:  Harry's picking on poor defenseless Remus!
Rating:  As high as PG13, maybe!
Status:  Incomplete and closed.

Comments

[a_jade_phoenix]

Harry's fingers tightened around Remus' arm as he struggled with himself to think of what to say.

Unfortunately, what came out was a quietly mumbled, "All right."

He let go, stepped back, and took a sharp pull from his tea cup. He wondered if it'd be improper to wake up his mother and start babbling out what he'd just done. Probably would be. She'd wake up too worried something was horribly wrong.

[the_five_signs]

Remus smeared a hand over his face and nodded, then moved out of the kitchen and up the stairs, across the livingroom. He was as quiet as possible when he moved into his and Sirius' shared bedroom, and cast a silencing charm around the bathroom, before climbing into the shower

[a_jade_phoenix]

Harry jumped from the chair he'd fallen into around minute five when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He paused, straining to decipher who it was. There was only three options after all. Tension coiled in his muscles and he prepared to run. The only person he'd come here to see he'd already chased off. He couldn't deal with explaining to his mum or Sirius why he was there so late at night.

And any excuse he could possibly have would sound lame.

When Remus rounded the corner, Harry's shoulders slumped. He cast an embarrassed look around the kitchen as he searched for something to say.

It was with a startled gasp that he leaned into the touch, wondering both what it meant and if he should take a single drop of hope from it.

"I'm sorry," he said in a breathless rush.

[the_five_signs]

"So am I." The werewolf quietly assured, and stepped in closer to Harry, then leaned his head forward so that their foreheads were touching, damp as the younger (older) man was. But he didn't wrap his arms around the green-eyed boy, only stood quite close.

"I understand what you were trying to do.. what you did do.. and I appreciate it. You're good for me, Harry Potter." A whispered admission. "I wish I'd always had you."

[a_jade_phoenix]

Harry lowered his eyes, heat flooding his cheeks at the quiet declaration. He didn't deserve this after what he had just done. Remus shouldn't even want to talk to him, let alone get this close to him.

His eyes stung, but that was all, and really, he was beginning to think between the two of them they could flood his mum's kitchen.

"You would start to hate me."

[the_five_signs]

"No. You're my son." He lifted a hand then to cup Harry's cheek, even as he left their foreheads pressed together. "You're the most important thing to me. You're the most important thing in my life. In all of our lives. You have been since I first met you. Since I first saw you." He knew it was true for Lily, Sirius, and likely Severus as well. At one point of another, their lives had all centered around Harry. And they'd all died for him. There was, of course, Teddy.. and if it came right down to it, he'd protect Teddy over Harry, not just because Teddy was his biological child, but because he'd know that the youngest Potter would want the youngest Lupin to be safe.

[a_jade_phoenix]

Harry's gut jolted like he'd been punched, and maybe he had been. He squeezed his eyes shut tight with a strangled breath. "You can't mean that."

That wasn't fair. But, neither had he been.

[the_five_signs]

"I do mean that. You know I do." He let his hand fall away from Harry's cheek. "You should have come to live with me. I should have been there. It should have been me putting you on that train to Hogwarts. You would have been happy with me. I would have been happy with you. We could have worked around my sickness." He let blue eyes close then, and a short breath escaped. He wouldn't cry. He wasn't even close. But he was earnest. "But I didn't know any of this then. And Dumbledore knew best and I didn't fight him. Maybe I should have." He'd always been sure Dumbledore was right, but now he was wavering.

[a_jade_phoenix]

Harry stretched out a groping hand and fisted a handful of damp fabric. His fingers clenched and unclenched in a spasm as he worked his way through what he was feeling and what he ought to be doing about it.

His mum, Harry knew his mum would have kept him if she'd lived, but no one who had been alive had ever expressed anything close to this. It hurt.

It hurt so fucking much, and he couldn't understand why.

His forehead connected with Remus' shoulder as his free hand went around Remus' back, dragging him in close as he possibly could.

[the_five_signs]

Remus returned the hold, wrapping his arms around Harry and keeping him just as near, cheek pressed against darker hair. "I wish I could have made things different for you. You would have made things different for me too." And with that, he smiled. Just a little.

"But I didn't have stairs. You would have had to live under my sink." He was trying to make light of the situation, even just a little. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Harry.

[a_jade_phoenix]

"Maybe I wasn't missing anything then," Harry mused, struggling to bring himself back under control. This was backwards. He wasn't supposed to be the one needing comforting, especially not after he had started the row in the first place.

This was insane. He didn't know what to do anymore.

[the_five_signs]

It was insane. Remus did this to everyone. He was always the adult. Always the parental figure. Even when he'd been young. But it wasn't any reason to fight it.. sometimes, things simply needed to be accepted. It was just the werewolf's personality.

"At least beneath my sink was very clean." Remus had always been a bit of a neat freak, even if he'd been unable to do taper it off some in his older years.

[a_jade_phoenix]

"And you'd let me out to eat."

Why was he sharing that with Remus? It'd only make people upset. He knew it did. He'd seen it on his friends pinched and worried faces whenever he had mentioned the Dursleys.

[the_five_signs]

"No. But I might join you under the sink for dinner." He pushed his hand up into darker hair as he said it. "Warmer there." If Harry could have seen the look on Remus' face, he may have felt a little better. He looked content. He looked.. satisfied. Quite the same way he'd looked when he was holding Teddy the other day. Perhaps human was the right word.

But private actions were left for private moments, like this one. Ask him to do such a thing in a crowd (even of friends) and he'd shy away. Reserved young man.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

[a_jade_phoenix]

"Wetter too." Harry did look up then and that breath strangling feeling was back full force. He'd of been better of keeping his forehead where it had been. He should have known better. The look he was getting...it was just...

Harry couldn't bring himself to ask if he could stay. He'd already overstepped too many boundaries that night.

"I can probably make it without splinching myself."

[the_five_signs]

"If you want to keep all your parts in tact.. you could stay the night. But we'd have to go back to your house anyway, leave a note." He didn't want Severus or Teddy waking up and wondering where Harry was-- lest a very upset Snape come storming over. They didn't need that. "I'd be happy to walk with you, if you wanted to do that."