(Untitled)

[the_five_signs]

Who:  Remus and Sirius
When:  9pm sharp!
Where:  Middle of the park
What:  Remus has asked Sirius on a date.
Status:  Closed - Complete
Rating:  PG - This is REMUS.

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[bloodydrapery]

"Please. Wouldn't have missed it for the world," Sirius smiled, bringing his arms around Remus tightly. It might have been a well known fact that Remus was a romantic, but that Sirius could turn into an utter girl where his love was concerned was something kept guarded between himself and Remus alone. Well, and possibly James. Probably James. He'd heard Sirius whining enough when it came to their sometimes-furry friend to have figured it out.

In any case, the whole scene made Sirius's breath catch in his through. The cool, crisp, dark air, the shining lake and icicles, the snow that looked like thousands of diamonds covering the park, glittering lowly in the dim light. And Moony. Moony, of course, rivaling the startling beauty of everything else, and winning.

"Here, I-- it's-- sorry. I'm a bit pathetic." He blushed deeply and handed over the small bunch of pink and purple lupines. Secretly hopeless romantic, remember? And apparently not a particularly clever or creative one, at that. In fact, he'd done the same thing on their very first date back at Hogwarts. Given Remus lupines, that is. Course, he'd thought it was far more witty and brilliant back then.

[the_five_signs]

Remus returned the hug, but gingerly. His body was still battered and bruised beneath his clothes. With no one here to heal him, he probably wouldn't heal fully until Severus perfected that potion, because it would take him a month for all his cuts to heal up completely.. just in time for the next moon. It's be a vicious cycle. But he wasn't worried about that right now. Instead, he was accepting the flowers with a soft laugh, and then offering out his card. "I have a secret for you." It wasn't really much of a secret. And it didn't say anything for certain. But the meaning behind it was there. He loved you, Sirius.

"And it's alright that you're pathetic.. because so am I. I couldn't find anywhere around here that was selling roses." Thus the card.

[PS: I couldn't get this picture to work. http://s440.photobucket.com/albums/qq121/SecretsAlbumAV/?action=view¤t=PinkRose.jpg ]

[bloodydrapery]

Raising his eyebrows, Sirius gingerly took the card between two fingers and looked down at it. The secrets phenomenon around town was, for lack of a better term... no secret. They'd been popping up everywhere, full of all different confessions, designs, and emotions. Sirius had been one of the first to add to the collection, he was fairly certain. But of course, he wouldn't mention it to Remus.

Now, he looked down at the card in his hand and grinned as the sentiment sent a pack of pixies buzzing through his heart and stomach. "Moony..." he breathed with a smile, then kissed him lightly. "The feeling is decidedly mutual."

[the_five_signs]

"I'm glad." He held the flowers in one hand and slid his other gloved one into Sirius', to tug him off of the semi-cleared sidewalk and into the ankle-deep snow. After about ten steps, well off the path, Remus would step forward.. and disappear, as if walking through an invisible wall. But he would tug poor Sirius along with him, right through the barrier, and into a small bubble, maybe a square ten by ten, that had grass on the ground, as well as a checkered blanket, a picnic basket, and a coat hangar in the corner for their jackets. All around them, the frozen park could still be seen.. but inside this little bubble, this invisible square, they couldn't be seen. And it was warm, inside, like a spring day. "I made dinner." Half apology, and half just to inform him.

Once inside, he released his hand and moved to set the flowers down on the basket, so he could shrug off his jackets (both) and hang them up on the hangar. The gloves followed shortly after, and he turned to smile at Sirius, toeing off his shoes and leaving them behind, as he moved to settle on the red and white blanket. So typical picnic. He'd been trying to make it look like a warm day.

[bloodydrapery]

Sirius's eyes widened as he followed Remus through the magical barrier. "Bloody hell," he said softly, letting the warmth thaw out his frozen cheeks and fingers, and eying the beautifully arranged picnic in wonder. "It's amazing, Moony." He squeezed his companion's hand and followed his lead in removing his shoes and coat.

"This must have been a decent amount of magic," he realized suddenly, glancing at Remus in concern. "You didn't push yourself too hard, did you? I swear Moony, if you make yourself sicker on my account..." He didn't have an ending to that thread, but grabbed Remus's other hand and gave him a Look to ensure he got his meaning across.

[the_five_signs]

"If I do, what then?" He turned to look back at Sirius when his hand was taken and smiled just some, in almost a mischievous manner. "Don't worry, it was for a good cause. And it wasn't that bad." He was tugging his hand away then, lifting his eyebrows with a smile, and moving to sit down on the blanket. "Come sit and stop worrying about me. I'm not going to break." Says the battered, bruised boy. "I made sandwiches, and a salad, and I bought a pie for dessert." Since he was hopeless at baking anything but sweets.

It took him a few moments to divvy out the food onto two plates, and as he was handing one off to Sirius, he spoke up again. "Tell me about Azkaban." Harry had told Remus that he'd have to ask Sirius about it. So he was. But the fact that he was asking at all.. Harry and Severus certainly hadn't told him. And Lily never would have spoken up, it was Sirius' secret, after all...

[bloodydrapery]

Sirius sat, but kept his eyes narrowed and trained on Remus. He was used to those arguments, heard them plenty of times before. And they still did nothing to assuage him. "I know you're not. And I'm sorry. But this was quite possibly the worst transformation you've ever had, and I know you're still in pain and exhausted, so don't think you can get away with the Invincible Remus routine around me."

Once he was finished with that rant, he took the plate of food Remus had offered. And half a second later, he dropped it. "Tell you... tell you what?"

Remus couldn't have said what he'd just thought he'd heard. How could he know? He hadn't told him, and Lily had consented not to mention it. And why would he be acting so bloody calm about it? Why wouldn't he be angry, calling Sirius a bloody fool, that he'd gone and gotten their best friends killed because he was a stupid sodding coward?!

[the_five_signs]

Remus startled some when Sirius dropped the plate, and he was setting his own down carefully, and reaching across to start cleaning up the mess. If the wizards in his time had known what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was, they would have diagnosed poor Remus on the spot. But to him, and his friends, he just liked things clean and neat. "Tell me about Azkaban." Asked again, as he picked the sandwich up off the blanket. It was ruined now. But his attention was focused there, not on Sirius.

[bloodydrapery]

Reaching over and grabbing Remus's wrist to stop him from cleaning, Sirius stared at the werewolf and tried to form words. "How... how do you know about that?" he managed.

[the_five_signs]

When grabbed, blue eyes immediately shot up to Sirius' face and he stared a second before he tugged on his wrist, to try and pull it free, so he could go back to cleaning and occupy his mind further. "I don't know. I just.. the word came into my head. And I asked Harry, and he told me to ask you. So I am."

[bloodydrapery]

It sounded completely insane, like something Sirius could never believe was the whole truth. If, that is, it were coming from anyone other than Remus. But this was Remus, and Remus wouldn't lie to Sirius about this. He knew this. Which answered... somewhat... how Remus knew, but didn't help Sirius with how he could possibly explain. "Moony..." he started, biting his lip and gently letting go of his wrist. "I'm not... I don't know how to tell you."

[the_five_signs]

When his wrist was released.. he slowly went back to cleaning up, setting the sandwich back onto the plate and picking up any left over pieces, then he set the plate aside and gave his attention to Sirius completely. "Just open your mouth and the words will come out. I need to know." He needed to know what was going on in his head. And he wanted to know about Buckbeak. Whatever that was. But he wouldn't ask yet. Harry had answered some questions, but Remus was coming up with more, out of the blue. Dreams long since forgotten.

[bloodydrapery]

"Alright..." Sirius said quietly. He brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on top. And he looked away from Remus. It was just... easier that way. To not have to see those blue eyes grow disappointed or sorrowful. Or angry. "The year Harry was born... 1981... the war had gotten bad... really bad. People were dying, murdered by Death Eaters right in their homes, some were being tortured, and some just disappeared altogether. Member of the Order were dropping, some from capture, some from fear." Remus had been right, per usual. Now that he was talking, the words were just flowing.

"Soon it... it became clear that there was a spy in the Order. No one knew who it was, only that... that no one could be trusted. Not even close friends. Which is why James and Lily decided... they decided that protecting their son was more important than anything else. So they went into hiding, and asked me to be their secret keeper. For a while, it was alright. Everything was... was working out. But then--"

Sirius broke off, knowing the worst of it was about to come. He cleared his throat, braced himself. Still didn't look into the bright blue eyes across from him. "Then I... it... it became clear that my being secret keeper wasn't the wisest decision. If Voldemort was after the Potters, I'd be the first one he went after. I was too obvious a choice. I went to James and Lily, and I begged them to switch the charm to someone else. And they did. They switched to-- to Peter."

This was possibly the part that made Sirius most ashamed of all. That he hadn't. Trusted. Remus. It turned his insides to stone whenever he remembered. How could he have suspected Remus Lupin? The msot wonderful, kind, gentle, honest, brilliant man he'd ever known? His best friend, his bloody soul mate. And he'd made the worst mistake of his life, he'd gotten James and Lily killed. Because he hadn't trusted Remus.

Tears somewhat inevitable at this point, Sirius went on to explain the rest of the story as best he could. How Peter had betrayed them the very next day. How in a stupid bloody rage, Sirius had gone after him and attacked. How Peter had framed him. How Sirius had never had the chance to tell anyone about the switch, because he'd been immediately arrested and charged with no trial.

"...So I was sentenced to a lifetime in Azkaban. No chance of release. And... that was... that." He finished, staring down at the blanket and wiping his damp cheeks on his knee.

[the_five_signs]

Remus didn't say a single word. He didn't utter any noise. He made no movements. He just watched his friend and managed to stay mostly neutral for the entire thing. But near the end, some sort of recognition dawned on his face and the werewolf let out a slow breath, blue eyes becoming dimmer, somehow. "You thought it was me." Sirius hadn't told him that in so many words, but.. "You thought I was the spy. Because of what I am. You didn't come home. That was why. That was why you never came home." For the last two weeks, leading up to James and Lily's death, he'd meant, when Sirius had given up the position of Secret Keeper to Peter, he'd never come home. And Remus had been left to worry and wonder, without knowing where any of his four friends had ended up. Tears sprung to his eyes with the memory. Oh. Merlin. But he tightened his jaw to force the emotions back and just stared at Sirius across from him. That had been why Remus had been easier to convince that it was Sirius who'd killed the Potters. Because he'd left. It wasn't like Sirius to just vanish.. but he had.. to kill his friends. Maybe if he had only been blamed for the murders, Remus could have seen around the set-up. But having witnessed first hand Sirius' oddities (because Sirius had thought him the traitor), he had been easier to convince when the time came.

And he'd been heartbroken.

He could remember it now, like it was yesterday. But the rock that was the werewolf, who hadn't cried since he was a child, refused to do it now. "And you escaped."

[bloodydrapery]

It barely even registered with Sirius that this Remus, nineteen-year-old Remus, shouldn't know about half the things he'd just mentioned. He was too busy fighting off tears and trying not to vomit. "Remus, I..." he shuddered as his throat tightened and he momentarily lost the battle with his tear ducts. "I am so, so sorry. I never-- I shouldn't have... I'm sorry. Everything was going to hell, and you and I hadn't been like we were, and my brother was dead and... and Merlin, Moony, none of it's any excuse.I never should have suspected you, and there never was and never will be a second of any day that I don't regret it. Every moment I spent in that prison, that hell... all I could think was that even I wasn't the spy or the murderer, even if I wasn't working for Voldemort, I had still betrayed the person I loved the most in the world. I deserved what I got."

He took a shaky breath and swiped the heel of his hand against his cheek as he nodded. "I escaped. Thirteen years later. I waited until Padfoot was skinny enough, then slipped through the bars." Quietly, he told the story of finding Peter at Hogwarts, and how he'd met Harry and had an all to brief reunion with Remus himself. And how finally, Harry had helped him escape with Buckbeak.

[the_five_signs]

Once again, he was silent for the story. And after Sirius was done, he was quiet long enough that it might cause Sirius to think that Remus would never speak to him again. But he did. Quietly.

"No one deserves to be put in such an awful place for a crime they didn't commit. Don't say things like that." Tired blue eyes turned away from his would-be lover for a moment, before coming back. "It wasn't just you. They thought I was, too. And you all had every reason." He was, after all, a dark creature. Evil, according to some people. But certainly dangerous.

And a moment later, Remus was carefully moving the basket and his own sandwich out of the way, so that he could scoot closer to Sirius, on that blanket. Without his coat on, all of his bandages were exposed. He looked younger when hurt, really-- like he had when he was laying in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. Because that was the last place he'd looked like this. "Don't cry." Quietly requested. "It's not worth the tears."