"love is a fictional emotion brought on by pheromones and fear of abandonment"
interesting quote idk what i think of a lot of things right now. im kinda disappointed as a whole. i've just felt stuck with a lot of things for the last year. its hard to see what i'm working towards anymore. i just feel like not caring about school or work or relationships or anything. i was walking back from school and as stupid as it sounds what i was thinking was i just want the feeling of being carried with the tide or something i don't want to make plans about anything anymore. i just feel like a drifter or something. idk when i was over seas it was the least time of my life in the last year or two that i felt dragged down. i mean maybe because everything was new and i had so much more to explore about myself and all the new opportunities that were there. i felt proud of myself with how much i accomplished but being home and in milwaukee i feel like a slug. like whats the point in doing well to get out of school? i don't have any plans for after school anyway. i just want to postpone the inevitable. since my junior year of highschool i felt like i had all these plans and knew the steps i needed to take to get there. you could have thrown one of those dumb essays about "where will you be in 5- 10 years?" and i had very good detailed answers. now i think of this person i am now and how my life has changed and i have no clue. i don't want to be this person i would have looked at two years ago and been like what's your problem fucking get it together. idk i need some goals i need to find some reason to want to succeed in things again because i need more than this; i don't want to be on this dead end road. i just go in spurts sometimes i'm like i'm going to do better and even try to be this better person but it just feels too overwhelming and i want to give up too easily. idk i got to figure it out hopefully before it gets worse because i do want things to get better