The Kin of Ata are Waiting for you.
I wanted something...something I couldn't define.
Something like the first thrill that comes with a first winning. A first publication of your work, a first good job, a first good lay,a first...all the orgasms of life, that while you're having them make you think, "this is it...this is the great thing,now that I've got this, I've made it." But almost before you've finished saying it, you're on your way down, the thrill is waning, the orgasm is over and you can't reach it quitethat way again. But you keep trying to duplicate it, you try all the variations, to get there, before you exhaust that way and begin to try some other. That was what my life was really all about; the lower I sank, the higher I was trying to reach, trying to live life on that orgasmic plane, clutching and trying to hang on, falling and trying to get back.
The world is full of ways to try to reach it. Drugs and drink and sex and fame and things...plenty of things. You can spend years, from your first shiny tricycle to your last taste of power, and take a long, long time before you know finally, fully, before you realize that you always come down, no matter how high you've been; that it's a law of gravity of the soul.
Something like the first thrill that comes with a first winning. A first publication of your work, a first good job, a first good lay,a first...all the orgasms of life, that while you're having them make you think, "this is it...this is the great thing,now that I've got this, I've made it." But almost before you've finished saying it, you're on your way down, the thrill is waning, the orgasm is over and you can't reach it quitethat way again. But you keep trying to duplicate it, you try all the variations, to get there, before you exhaust that way and begin to try some other. That was what my life was really all about; the lower I sank, the higher I was trying to reach, trying to live life on that orgasmic plane, clutching and trying to hang on, falling and trying to get back.
The world is full of ways to try to reach it. Drugs and drink and sex and fame and things...plenty of things. You can spend years, from your first shiny tricycle to your last taste of power, and take a long, long time before you know finally, fully, before you realize that you always come down, no matter how high you've been; that it's a law of gravity of the soul.