Captive on the Last Night of Freedom
Ergh. Night before the wedding. It's been great to have Mum and Dad around again and to spend some time with family. But I'm sorry to say I'm getting really pretty tired of talking about only wedding stuff - and I know tonight's likely to be the worst, especially where Mum's concerned. She's going to be all frantic asking me if Hermione took care of this and if I took care of that - and where did I put the rings, and...yeah.
I say goodbye to Goldstein and Boot, then walk out of the Auror Department with Harry.
"Can't wait to get done with all that file shite," he says when we're almost to the lifts.
"Yeah, me either," I say. "That one for Greyback was ruddy sickening and - aw, damn."
"What?"
"Dawlish wanted it back on his desk when I was done with it. Tonight. He's coming in over the weekend or - I dunno." I knew I was forgetting something. Too much wedding stuff clogging my head.
"I'd like to say I'd go back with you, mate, but Ginny wanted me to try and be home early as I could to make sure we're ready for tomorrow. You'll be okay?" Harry asks.
"Yeah, sure," I say. "Not like I'm going home to anyone that special tonight with Hermione at her mum's. You go on. I'll see you tomorrow. I'd better let you go rest up to make sure I have my head on straight then."
He makes something of an odd face when I mention 'someone special' for some reason, but I reckon he's just tired.
"Right then. See you tomorrow," he says, and heads off for the lifts alone.
I trudge back to the stupid cubicle I've spent the past few weeks vegetating in, find the file, and take it to Dawlish's office. Then I retrace my steps back to the lift and work my way up to the Atrium level. It's pretty empty as most of the day shift has left and the night shift's already on. I'm nearly out of the last corridor into the main room when a service door opens just behind me and suddenly everything goes black.
It takes me a minute or two to get my bearings and realize I've been snatched. There are magical ropes around my wrists and ankles, I can feel them, and I've been thrown onto something wheeled to be carted swiftly down the corridor. Next thing I know my arms are grabbed from both sides and I feel the sensation of Apparition. More carting follows when that stops, though for a considerably shorter distance - and the bag that's made everything black's yanked from my head.
I look around me, but all I can see is the chair I'm tied to, the small metal table in front of me, and an old creaky muggle lamp swinging overhead. Somewhere off in the darkness around me, I hear a slow drip. "What the bloody hell is going on?" I say, struggling against the bonds.
"Now now," says one slimy sounding voice, coming from one side. "We wouldn't want you to get any burn marks on your scrawny little arms before your wedding day, would we?" Then it breaks off in a chuckle that sends my skin crawling.
From the other side, a rough, harsh voice barks, "Sit still, if you know what's good for you!"
Two hands smack down on the table, one on either side. I can't really make out much of them, only that they're hands. They're too far out of the light.
“What the hell do you want? You know I’m an Auror now, right? You know what happens to people when something happens to one of the us - the others won’t rest till they find you -“ Wonder if they can tell I’m bluffing? Would the others even give a bloody rat’s arse?
"Right, that little nose-wipe with the fissure in his skull?" the slimy voice says. "He's not coming for you. Nobody is. You've been nicked, clean out under their noses and they won't know a thing's happened until it's too late."
What the - ? "So you haven't answered my question. What the hell do you want with me?" A horrible thought strikes me - the wedding's supposed to be secure. "And what makes you think I'm getting married tomorrow?"
"Think?" the slimy voice sneers. "Oh, we don't think you're getting married, ginger. We know your getting married. At Hogwarts, in fact. To that bush on legs."
"How did you - don't you DARE call my fiancee a bush on legs!" I growl, knowing full well there's not a bloody thing I can do about it at the moment. "You'd better pray to any gods you know that I don't get loose from these ropes, or you'll never know such pain!"
"Ooo, I'm leakin' in my trousers," the gruff one sneers. "Oh, such pain. Such terrible pain."
"Son of a -" Bloody damned smartasses, too, wouldn't you know? There's nothing left for me but to try and get loose from the ropes, so I start to squirm and rock the chair a bit, hoping to turn it over and maybe smash it to get loose. (Hopefully without smashing too much of me in the process.)
Before I've hardly tipped to one side, though, one of the hands slams down on the metal table, the din echoing around the room. "DON'T you even dare try it," the gruff voice barks. "Now you sit here nice and still and answer some questions or there will be more pain than FRECKLES on that twiggish little body of yours."
Hmmm. Questions? Maybe if I can't get myself loose I can outsmart them. Yeah, right. "What kind of questions?" I ask slowly.
From right next to my ear, the slimy voice asks, "Where were you on the night of Friday, August 17th, 1999, at 9:15pm?"
"Friday, August 17th? I was - " Wait, when was - ? That's today. I think. "That was what time it was when I was leaving work - when you kidnapped me, you bastards!"
"Oh no," chortles one of them, the voice morphing into another so I can't be sure which. "You left at 9:05pm. The correct answer to your question is..."
And all at once, light floods the rest of the room and I'm almost blinded. "Your bachelor party!" come two voices and I can tell immediately who they belong to, because there are only two people in this whole bloody world that can sound so annoyingly cocky in unison like that.
I grin at Fred and George at the same time I'm ready to kill them. I notice they leave me in the ropes for probably just that reason. "Oh, you bloody stupid gits...You really had me going there for a bit. I was thinking I'd have to try and get a message to headquarters to cancel the wedding or do something about it since obviously evil people knew when it was going to happen...Nice time to give your little brother a heart attack, you prats - just before his wedding."
One of them laughs. Damned identical twins, you can never tell which you're more pissed off at. "Well, we know what a hot little temper you have and didn't want you to hurt yourself while trying to get back at us."
"Oh, thanks - loads. So you ever going to let me loose, or what?"
"Oh now what would be the fun in that?" the other asks. "I quite like seeing him all defenseless and asking to be done things to, don't you?"
"Natch, clone. It's an improvement to his usual ickle charm."
I roll my eyes and look between the two of them. "So I thought you said this was a bachelor party. I reckon we're all still bachelors - for the moment - so how the hell do we have some kind of mad party with one of us tied up?" Uh oh. "Or do I want to know?"
"Relax," one says, waving his hand at me. "It's only a pizza party. I reckon you do like pizza, don't you?"
"Do I! Yeah, I like pizza - and that's all good. If we just have pizza and hang around together, won't have to make any explanations to Hermione or anything." I probably should thank them for at least one other thing. "Oh - I reckon I should let Mum know I'm with you two. I'm sure she's already planned to talk my ear off when I get home making sure everything's in place for the wedding. I love Mum and it's really good to see her again, but...oi. She's been driving me mad."
"Already taken care of, kid," they say. "We told Mum you were so tuckered out, you made it as far as our place and crashed on our couch. As far as she knows, you're sound asleep, snoozin' like a baby seal."
"And she bought it," the other of them says. "Hook, line, and stinker." Then they look at each other and grin.
I grin back at them and actually feel a bit of relief coming over me. It'll be good to just kill some time with Fred and George. Their methods leave a lot to be desired, yeah - but life is never dull with them around. "Nice work, mates. So we need to go get the pizza, or...?"
"It's being delivered," they says together, exchanging significant-looking smiles. Oh Merlin, one of those smiles. Those smiles are never good.
"Erm...all right," I say slowly, trying to figure out what all that could possibly mean. "Well, I'm thirsty. Where the hell are we, anyway? Wait - let me guess. Um - " I look at George. "Rosie's?"
They both shake their head. Damn, thought I'd gotten them with that. "Nope, not there. We're in an undisclosed location, with pizza being delivered from an undisclosed pizzeria by an undisclosed delivery person. And some sort of undisclosed beverage will be delivered, worry you not!"
I twist my shoulder since my arms are falling asleep, tied as they are behind my back. "Bad news, though, gents. One of you's going to have to feed me if we keep things as they are."
They just grin even wider. I swear...
Just then some weird sound between a honk and a rattle echoes from somewhere above. "Well!" one of them says, jumping up from his easy slouch. "That would be the pizza and the undisclosed beverage! Be back in a tick!"
"The undisclosed beverage? Aw, damn, you two aren't-? Hermione will kill me. You know the Hangover Potion Charlie does? Please tell me yes, Fred, er, George - Fred?"
"Hand...rover? Enemy? Wossat?"
Just then, a door behind me bursts open and the other bustles in. "PIZZA'S HERE!" he yells and I hear a second set of feet. I twist around to see who it is, only to find it's the pizza delivery bloke. I breathe a sigh of relief.
"Oh - thank Merlin - I know you said we were just havin' pizza, but you two have gotta know that you've not necessarily got a reputation for doin' what you say you'll do." They look at me as if they're a bit insulted, so I hurry on. "I - hey, mates- thanks for the pizza. I'm ruddy starved. Let's have at it."
Yeah, I realize that I'm still tied up, and with anyone but Fred and George I'd really be wondering by now. But I've asked once nicely - and chances are things'll get worse instead of better if I ask again. So I just play along until one of them realizes his own mistake and lets me loose. It's always been better to let Fred and George think it was their idea.
"Hey there Chris," one of them says. "Here's the bloke we were tellin' you about. Baby brother and all that. Innee cute?"
The bloke named Chris looks over at me, an eyebrow raised. Then he winks. "Bet you're hungry," he says.
I wince at the "innee cute?", and there's something about the way the bloke's that interested in how hungry I am that makes me shiver a bit. 'Erm, yeah. I am, a bit."
He chuckles and sets the box down on the table in front of me. The smell wafting over is just about killing me now. He sees me fidget in my seat and for a moment, I think he's going to have pity on me and untie me, but instead he takes out a bright red napkin and lays it in my lap. "How 'bout a little something," he asks, opening the box in front of me.
Warily, I look over at Fred and George, or George and Fred, whatever the hell. Surely they're not going to have this Chris bloke feed me pizza - or no, maybe they're all just going to torture me by eating pizza in front of me. At this point, I'm not sure quite which I'd like less, but things are getting a little too weird.
Damn that pizza looks good. My mouth starts to water when he opens the box and I can see the disc, loaded heavily with all the fixings. My stomach growls and then...nah. I must have imagined it. I really must have. But...nope, there it is again. I look down.
The bright red napkin in my lap is bunched up a tad in the middle and is swaying from side to side. Then the knot at the top twists. It feels awfully heavy for a napkin, now I think on it. I look up at the twins and then over at the blo...erm...swear he was a bloke. But no bloke I've ever seen's ever had that...well...that shape...
"Uh...uh, Fred - George - what's with this- er - what's it doing? This is not a regular napkin..." I say in confusion, staring into my lap before looking up. "And - and that's not a regular pizza delivery bloke!"
"Wow! He finally caught on!" they says, both looking pleased as punch.
Just then, I feel the oddest sensation, like a finger drawing circles on my thigh. I look down sharply to find...a ruddy hand appearing from under the napkin. The finger's drawing circles and swirls and...oh Merlin, make it stop! I really should not be here and it should definitely not be having this effect on me.
As I continue to watch, the hand creeps out the rest of the way and pivots its wrist. It's almost as...no, don't go there. Wrists are absolutely nothing like a pair of hips. Nope. Damnit.
Then the hand reaches up and tugs up on the knot at the top of the napkin.
I would have fallen out of my chair if I hadn't been tied in. As the hand pulls up, one of the sexiest...certainly not the sexiest, but she's pretty damned close. Well...THERE! And she's got...Merlin, she's only wearing and tiny bra and a g-string! And she keeps swaying and twisting in my lap!
Holy mother of Merlin's monkey! I can't believe this is happening! Well, I can, because I can certainly feel that it's happening and there is nothing even remotely dream-like about something that feels like that. Her hips are rotating right before my eyes and I'm feeling so light-headed that I hope - no! Gah! I can't fall forward because I'll fall right into - no, no can't do that, no…
Maybe if I can look away, maybe - but I try and I try and those hips just keep pulling my eyes back. I swear I've got to look away, so I close them and try to look up. There's got to be a face, some way to connect this to a real person, and then maybe, just maybe...
But I look up into riveting blue eyes and I can still feel the pulsing rhythm of her hips swaying across mine, and her arms drawing wide, slow swaths around me. Maybe it will be better if I say something, so I swallow and try to squeak something from my parched throat. "Er, hi," I say weakly and I hear loud guffaws from somewhere behind the sexy, swinging body.
I feel the hot tightness swelling in my jeans and tell myself I can not have this reaction to another woman when I'm marrying Hermione tomorrow. But it's been almost a week away from Hermione and I don't want to feel this far away. Not only can't I let myself feel like this, but I won't! And suddenly it comes to me...
I'm breathing so hard, it's hard to choke it out, but by Merlin I'm going to. "Number 57, Chambliss...Number 24, McCune...Number 40, Andrews...Number 12..."
Suddenly, my nose is assailed by the tempting smell of pizza close at hand. My stomach gives a painful lunge toward the smell and I turn to find a piece hovering just inches away. I try to reach for it with my mouth, but it's dragged back...straight toward the other girl.
Her free hand is running down her top...no, not just running. It's undoing each button with a slow, mesmerizing motion. I try to look away, but she's holding that pizza just right there in front of her. The skin under her pizza uniform is tan, and the hair she's taken out is an exotically sharp black.
I try to continue with my reciting, but it's getting really hard to concentrate when her top's coming off like that and she's waving those br...erm...that pizza right there under my nose.
I feel the beads of sweat start to trickle down my forehead. "Number 18...Hollis...Number 62...Breasts - erm, Breslin!" Shite. There's no way to deal with this and make it stop. "Bloody hell, it's hot in here." I shift in my seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure from where I'm pushed so tightly against the inside of my jeans, but the girl on my lap has the nerve to notice what I'm doing and all at once starts swaying so that her movements are making my own hips move back and forth instead of side to side. The smell of the pizza and the nice, smooth, round breasts so close to my eyes and the way she's making my jeans rub on my body...
"NOOOOOOO!!!" I shout, and throw my head back over the top of the chair with my eyes closed, concentrating harder on nothing happening than I've ever had to concentrate in my life!
I hear a chuckling behind me and a light, sexy giggling from in front of me and one of the twins claps me on the shoulder. "Whassamatter, little brother? Aren't you enjoying the show?"
Then the other one claps the other shoulder and says, "I dunno, looks like he's enjoying it to me."
"Too much to recite the Chudley Cannons team, that's for sure," the napkin says, close to my ear and fills in the last of the team in a low, breathy voice.
"Yeah...enjoying..." I pant, still pinching my eyes tightly shut. "Too...much..." Sweet Merlin, the napkin knows the Cannons, too? "Love...Hermione..."
"Aww, we know you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't be quoting Quidditch when a smokin' hottie's doin' a doozie on your lap," one of the twins says.
"Your lady's certainly a lucky one," the delivery girl says. It's still low and husky, but definitely a girl's and definitely exotic. "Not many men try to ignore us."
"But can't you let loose and just enjoy it?" the napkin says. "Think of it as...a form of art! Natya and I are artists."
Eyes still closed - listening, but eyes still closed..."Yeah, but art never made me wanna..." No, I'm not finishing that, not even gonna think about that. "I mean, you're very nice - and very...pretty, both of you...and very-" Do not think breasts, do not think hips, do not..." - and you're very...talented, but...I can't."
The napkin puts her hands on my shoulder and I feel her breath blow on my earlobe as she whispers, "It's not as if we're actually doing anything. We dance. Sometimes we dance on the ground, sometimes on the table, sometimes on you. All you have to do is sit and watch. Besides...don't you want some pizza?"
Her warm breath in my ear sets my nerves jangling all the way down my spine to my toes. And all this, when I'm not even looking. I swear I'm going to first kill the twins and then talk to Hermione about never having to wait this long between ever again...just in case...
But bloody hell, I am starved. "Yeah," I whimper, feeling stupid. "All I wanted from the start was pizza."
Her hands slide off my shoulders and I feel her weight lift off my lap, and breathe a sigh of relief.
Only then she's back, wiggling her hips, swirling them, one of her legs curling around my chest. The smell of the pizza is overwhelming now and now the delivery girl's whispering in my ear, "If you want pizza, you have to open your eyes."
"No," I whine. "Because I already know what you look like, and what you'll do - and you'll make me want to do something I really don't wanna do - and...it's got nothing to do with pizza."
She laughs, her breath blowing on my ear in little puffs. "You may want to do it, but you can't do it, so don't worry about that. All Sheena and I do is dance. Now...if you don't want the pizza, I suppose the Sheena, the twins, and I can eat it. But I did deliver it just for you. The whole thing. Everything on it. Melted cheese...pepperoni...sausage..."
My stomach growls in longing at just the words, for heaven's sake. "Okay, okay, so if I open my eyes to eat pizza, you won't dance?"
"I didn't say that," she coos. "I said that's all we do. It's just a show, Ron. We perform and you are our audience. But that's all we do is dance."
I can feel the smells being waved under my nose so close it's painful. "And I'm the delivery girl. My dance is to deliver the pizza to you. But only if you open your eyes."
I take a huge, deep breath and let it out. Wonder if I can do this? I used to be able to ignore Lav at the end when she was just about serving herself up on a platter. But I knew I couldn't live with myself if I let myself do anything - even before Hermione and I were official. I can do this, I think. I can do this.
"Okay, I can do this. Gonna open my eyes, and I'm gonna eat pizza. Nothing more, not thinking about anything more...ignoring the pain of...never mind."
When I open them, I see the exotic girl staring me straight in the eyes and she smiles. I look down toward the pizza and swallow, trying to concentrate only on the food. It's really hard, though, because she's wearing some skimpy top that looks like turkish delight and suddenly I feel a craving for turkish delight.
"Don't you want some pizza?" she breathes, holding the pizza out to me, little by little. It feels like it takes ages for it to get close enough for me to take a bite, but finally I do and I almost pass out, it tastes so good.
Not only that, the taste of the pizza gives me some other sensation to concentrate on besides, er...yeah. "Mmmm, that stuff is awesome. Can I have some more?"
"If your eyes stay open, you can have all the pizza you want," she says, winking at me. "And don't worry about making a mess. That's what napkins are for."
"Right then," I say. "I'll do what I can." I try not to think about why the, erm, ladies believed I'd be making a mess. There was just a whole hell of a lot not to think about tonight. I hope I can remember what all not to think about.
"Eyes open, see? More pizza, please? Or one of you could just undo these magical ropes, if you'd rather..."
The napkin lady moves forward and reaches around my shoulder and for a brief moment of disbelief and hope, I think she's actually going to free me. But then she just passes the napkin over my mouth and smiles.
The pizza lady picks up another piece of pizza, a really big one, and runs her tongue over her dark, glistening upper lip as she continues to sway on my thighs. "As requested," she says and winks again.
I find it helps if I sorta look up, if only a little. I still have to deal with feeling her dancing, but at least not watching her too. I concentrate on just sitting there, chewing my hard-earned pizza and pretending I'm not tied to a chair being lap-danced on.
But it's then she slides her tongue across her lip, and even looking up isn't entirely safe any more.
We're halfway through the pizza before she starts running the palm of her hand up and down my chest, scooting a little closer as she continues to dance. It's getting really hard to ignore her now, since the initial relief of the food has started to fade. It still tastes just as good, but as my hunger pains lessen, I start to feel a bit more of the pizza lady and the effect she has on me.
Again.
"Got anything to drink?" I ask, realizing that's one tack I hadn't tried yet tonight.
The pizza lady pauses on her way to fetch another slice and turns back to me, one eyebrow cocked. "Thirsty now, are you?" she says. Then, Merlin, I can't believe this, she reaches down between her breasts and pulls up a tall bottle of butterbeer.
Bloody hell. I can not believe she did that. When she holds the bottle top to my lips I try not to think of where it's just been and what it's been touching. She carefully tilts it up so I can take a swig - a few times she does this, but it's actually getting easier to ignore how sexy the ladies are because I'm getting to know them just a bit. I notice some shiny, silvery little tassels swinging on her hips as she dances. "Those are really nice," I say, usually not giving a whit about things on that on girls. But these are special somehow. "Where'd you get them?
"They were specially made," she says. "I'm glad you like them. They catch the light best when they're swaying, don't you think?" she says, giving her hips a nice wide turn, making the tassles float in the air.
"Erm...yeah," I say, feeling myself getting giddy again and trying to ignore what those tassels were attached to. "They are really shiny."
I shake my head as bit as there seems to be something a bit stronger in the butterbeer than just butterbeer. "Is this special stuff or something? Butterbeer Extra?"
"Maybe it's the brewery," she says, shaking her head, as well as her hips. My eyes follow the floaty silver threads instinctively. "The twins didn't want to give you anything too strong the night before your wedding."
"Ah, but...it's making me feel kinda fuzzy - or something is. Don't think it's you or her this time - that feeling was not fuzzy - most definitely not. I'll have some more, though." She finishes helping me with another two bottles before I'm ready to stop. All that pizza and sweating before made me thirsty.
She runs her hands up my chest and over my shoulders. Her hips move with the motion of her hands as she rubs away the tention at the base of my neck. "It's probably just because you're finally relaxing. Weddings can be stressful. It feels good to let loose.*
Oddly enough, instead of her hands making me feel like I had to avoid putting them somewhere on her, they were making me feel relaxed and after a while, very sleepy. "Yeah...feels good..." I think I mumbled, my head kinda rolling from side to side as I have trouble holding it up.
She whispers something else but I'm just so tired now I can't make out what she's saying. Instead, I see her mouth the words, the rocking of her hips and the movement of her hands making the tension just drop away. My head lolls forward and the last thing I see before I finally conk out is one of the silver tassles draped across one dark thigh.
I say goodbye to Goldstein and Boot, then walk out of the Auror Department with Harry.
"Can't wait to get done with all that file shite," he says when we're almost to the lifts.
"Yeah, me either," I say. "That one for Greyback was ruddy sickening and - aw, damn."
"What?"
"Dawlish wanted it back on his desk when I was done with it. Tonight. He's coming in over the weekend or - I dunno." I knew I was forgetting something. Too much wedding stuff clogging my head.
"I'd like to say I'd go back with you, mate, but Ginny wanted me to try and be home early as I could to make sure we're ready for tomorrow. You'll be okay?" Harry asks.
"Yeah, sure," I say. "Not like I'm going home to anyone that special tonight with Hermione at her mum's. You go on. I'll see you tomorrow. I'd better let you go rest up to make sure I have my head on straight then."
He makes something of an odd face when I mention 'someone special' for some reason, but I reckon he's just tired.
"Right then. See you tomorrow," he says, and heads off for the lifts alone.
I trudge back to the stupid cubicle I've spent the past few weeks vegetating in, find the file, and take it to Dawlish's office. Then I retrace my steps back to the lift and work my way up to the Atrium level. It's pretty empty as most of the day shift has left and the night shift's already on. I'm nearly out of the last corridor into the main room when a service door opens just behind me and suddenly everything goes black.
It takes me a minute or two to get my bearings and realize I've been snatched. There are magical ropes around my wrists and ankles, I can feel them, and I've been thrown onto something wheeled to be carted swiftly down the corridor. Next thing I know my arms are grabbed from both sides and I feel the sensation of Apparition. More carting follows when that stops, though for a considerably shorter distance - and the bag that's made everything black's yanked from my head.
I look around me, but all I can see is the chair I'm tied to, the small metal table in front of me, and an old creaky muggle lamp swinging overhead. Somewhere off in the darkness around me, I hear a slow drip. "What the bloody hell is going on?" I say, struggling against the bonds.
"Now now," says one slimy sounding voice, coming from one side. "We wouldn't want you to get any burn marks on your scrawny little arms before your wedding day, would we?" Then it breaks off in a chuckle that sends my skin crawling.
From the other side, a rough, harsh voice barks, "Sit still, if you know what's good for you!"
Two hands smack down on the table, one on either side. I can't really make out much of them, only that they're hands. They're too far out of the light.
“What the hell do you want? You know I’m an Auror now, right? You know what happens to people when something happens to one of the us - the others won’t rest till they find you -“ Wonder if they can tell I’m bluffing? Would the others even give a bloody rat’s arse?
"Right, that little nose-wipe with the fissure in his skull?" the slimy voice says. "He's not coming for you. Nobody is. You've been nicked, clean out under their noses and they won't know a thing's happened until it's too late."
What the - ? "So you haven't answered my question. What the hell do you want with me?" A horrible thought strikes me - the wedding's supposed to be secure. "And what makes you think I'm getting married tomorrow?"
"Think?" the slimy voice sneers. "Oh, we don't think you're getting married, ginger. We know your getting married. At Hogwarts, in fact. To that bush on legs."
"How did you - don't you DARE call my fiancee a bush on legs!" I growl, knowing full well there's not a bloody thing I can do about it at the moment. "You'd better pray to any gods you know that I don't get loose from these ropes, or you'll never know such pain!"
"Ooo, I'm leakin' in my trousers," the gruff one sneers. "Oh, such pain. Such terrible pain."
"Son of a -" Bloody damned smartasses, too, wouldn't you know? There's nothing left for me but to try and get loose from the ropes, so I start to squirm and rock the chair a bit, hoping to turn it over and maybe smash it to get loose. (Hopefully without smashing too much of me in the process.)
Before I've hardly tipped to one side, though, one of the hands slams down on the metal table, the din echoing around the room. "DON'T you even dare try it," the gruff voice barks. "Now you sit here nice and still and answer some questions or there will be more pain than FRECKLES on that twiggish little body of yours."
Hmmm. Questions? Maybe if I can't get myself loose I can outsmart them. Yeah, right. "What kind of questions?" I ask slowly.
From right next to my ear, the slimy voice asks, "Where were you on the night of Friday, August 17th, 1999, at 9:15pm?"
"Friday, August 17th? I was - " Wait, when was - ? That's today. I think. "That was what time it was when I was leaving work - when you kidnapped me, you bastards!"
"Oh no," chortles one of them, the voice morphing into another so I can't be sure which. "You left at 9:05pm. The correct answer to your question is..."
And all at once, light floods the rest of the room and I'm almost blinded. "Your bachelor party!" come two voices and I can tell immediately who they belong to, because there are only two people in this whole bloody world that can sound so annoyingly cocky in unison like that.
I grin at Fred and George at the same time I'm ready to kill them. I notice they leave me in the ropes for probably just that reason. "Oh, you bloody stupid gits...You really had me going there for a bit. I was thinking I'd have to try and get a message to headquarters to cancel the wedding or do something about it since obviously evil people knew when it was going to happen...Nice time to give your little brother a heart attack, you prats - just before his wedding."
One of them laughs. Damned identical twins, you can never tell which you're more pissed off at. "Well, we know what a hot little temper you have and didn't want you to hurt yourself while trying to get back at us."
"Oh, thanks - loads. So you ever going to let me loose, or what?"
"Oh now what would be the fun in that?" the other asks. "I quite like seeing him all defenseless and asking to be done things to, don't you?"
"Natch, clone. It's an improvement to his usual ickle charm."
I roll my eyes and look between the two of them. "So I thought you said this was a bachelor party. I reckon we're all still bachelors - for the moment - so how the hell do we have some kind of mad party with one of us tied up?" Uh oh. "Or do I want to know?"
"Relax," one says, waving his hand at me. "It's only a pizza party. I reckon you do like pizza, don't you?"
"Do I! Yeah, I like pizza - and that's all good. If we just have pizza and hang around together, won't have to make any explanations to Hermione or anything." I probably should thank them for at least one other thing. "Oh - I reckon I should let Mum know I'm with you two. I'm sure she's already planned to talk my ear off when I get home making sure everything's in place for the wedding. I love Mum and it's really good to see her again, but...oi. She's been driving me mad."
"Already taken care of, kid," they say. "We told Mum you were so tuckered out, you made it as far as our place and crashed on our couch. As far as she knows, you're sound asleep, snoozin' like a baby seal."
"And she bought it," the other of them says. "Hook, line, and stinker." Then they look at each other and grin.
I grin back at them and actually feel a bit of relief coming over me. It'll be good to just kill some time with Fred and George. Their methods leave a lot to be desired, yeah - but life is never dull with them around. "Nice work, mates. So we need to go get the pizza, or...?"
"It's being delivered," they says together, exchanging significant-looking smiles. Oh Merlin, one of those smiles. Those smiles are never good.
"Erm...all right," I say slowly, trying to figure out what all that could possibly mean. "Well, I'm thirsty. Where the hell are we, anyway? Wait - let me guess. Um - " I look at George. "Rosie's?"
They both shake their head. Damn, thought I'd gotten them with that. "Nope, not there. We're in an undisclosed location, with pizza being delivered from an undisclosed pizzeria by an undisclosed delivery person. And some sort of undisclosed beverage will be delivered, worry you not!"
I twist my shoulder since my arms are falling asleep, tied as they are behind my back. "Bad news, though, gents. One of you's going to have to feed me if we keep things as they are."
They just grin even wider. I swear...
Just then some weird sound between a honk and a rattle echoes from somewhere above. "Well!" one of them says, jumping up from his easy slouch. "That would be the pizza and the undisclosed beverage! Be back in a tick!"
"The undisclosed beverage? Aw, damn, you two aren't-? Hermione will kill me. You know the Hangover Potion Charlie does? Please tell me yes, Fred, er, George - Fred?"
"Hand...rover? Enemy? Wossat?"
Just then, a door behind me bursts open and the other bustles in. "PIZZA'S HERE!" he yells and I hear a second set of feet. I twist around to see who it is, only to find it's the pizza delivery bloke. I breathe a sigh of relief.
"Oh - thank Merlin - I know you said we were just havin' pizza, but you two have gotta know that you've not necessarily got a reputation for doin' what you say you'll do." They look at me as if they're a bit insulted, so I hurry on. "I - hey, mates- thanks for the pizza. I'm ruddy starved. Let's have at it."
Yeah, I realize that I'm still tied up, and with anyone but Fred and George I'd really be wondering by now. But I've asked once nicely - and chances are things'll get worse instead of better if I ask again. So I just play along until one of them realizes his own mistake and lets me loose. It's always been better to let Fred and George think it was their idea.
"Hey there Chris," one of them says. "Here's the bloke we were tellin' you about. Baby brother and all that. Innee cute?"
The bloke named Chris looks over at me, an eyebrow raised. Then he winks. "Bet you're hungry," he says.
I wince at the "innee cute?", and there's something about the way the bloke's that interested in how hungry I am that makes me shiver a bit. 'Erm, yeah. I am, a bit."
He chuckles and sets the box down on the table in front of me. The smell wafting over is just about killing me now. He sees me fidget in my seat and for a moment, I think he's going to have pity on me and untie me, but instead he takes out a bright red napkin and lays it in my lap. "How 'bout a little something," he asks, opening the box in front of me.
Warily, I look over at Fred and George, or George and Fred, whatever the hell. Surely they're not going to have this Chris bloke feed me pizza - or no, maybe they're all just going to torture me by eating pizza in front of me. At this point, I'm not sure quite which I'd like less, but things are getting a little too weird.
Damn that pizza looks good. My mouth starts to water when he opens the box and I can see the disc, loaded heavily with all the fixings. My stomach growls and then...nah. I must have imagined it. I really must have. But...nope, there it is again. I look down.
The bright red napkin in my lap is bunched up a tad in the middle and is swaying from side to side. Then the knot at the top twists. It feels awfully heavy for a napkin, now I think on it. I look up at the twins and then over at the blo...erm...swear he was a bloke. But no bloke I've ever seen's ever had that...well...that shape...
"Uh...uh, Fred - George - what's with this- er - what's it doing? This is not a regular napkin..." I say in confusion, staring into my lap before looking up. "And - and that's not a regular pizza delivery bloke!"
"Wow! He finally caught on!" they says, both looking pleased as punch.
Just then, I feel the oddest sensation, like a finger drawing circles on my thigh. I look down sharply to find...a ruddy hand appearing from under the napkin. The finger's drawing circles and swirls and...oh Merlin, make it stop! I really should not be here and it should definitely not be having this effect on me.
As I continue to watch, the hand creeps out the rest of the way and pivots its wrist. It's almost as...no, don't go there. Wrists are absolutely nothing like a pair of hips. Nope. Damnit.
Then the hand reaches up and tugs up on the knot at the top of the napkin.
I would have fallen out of my chair if I hadn't been tied in. As the hand pulls up, one of the sexiest...certainly not the sexiest, but she's pretty damned close. Well...THERE! And she's got...Merlin, she's only wearing and tiny bra and a g-string! And she keeps swaying and twisting in my lap!
Holy mother of Merlin's monkey! I can't believe this is happening! Well, I can, because I can certainly feel that it's happening and there is nothing even remotely dream-like about something that feels like that. Her hips are rotating right before my eyes and I'm feeling so light-headed that I hope - no! Gah! I can't fall forward because I'll fall right into - no, no can't do that, no…
Maybe if I can look away, maybe - but I try and I try and those hips just keep pulling my eyes back. I swear I've got to look away, so I close them and try to look up. There's got to be a face, some way to connect this to a real person, and then maybe, just maybe...
But I look up into riveting blue eyes and I can still feel the pulsing rhythm of her hips swaying across mine, and her arms drawing wide, slow swaths around me. Maybe it will be better if I say something, so I swallow and try to squeak something from my parched throat. "Er, hi," I say weakly and I hear loud guffaws from somewhere behind the sexy, swinging body.
I feel the hot tightness swelling in my jeans and tell myself I can not have this reaction to another woman when I'm marrying Hermione tomorrow. But it's been almost a week away from Hermione and I don't want to feel this far away. Not only can't I let myself feel like this, but I won't! And suddenly it comes to me...
I'm breathing so hard, it's hard to choke it out, but by Merlin I'm going to. "Number 57, Chambliss...Number 24, McCune...Number 40, Andrews...Number 12..."
Suddenly, my nose is assailed by the tempting smell of pizza close at hand. My stomach gives a painful lunge toward the smell and I turn to find a piece hovering just inches away. I try to reach for it with my mouth, but it's dragged back...straight toward the other girl.
Her free hand is running down her top...no, not just running. It's undoing each button with a slow, mesmerizing motion. I try to look away, but she's holding that pizza just right there in front of her. The skin under her pizza uniform is tan, and the hair she's taken out is an exotically sharp black.
I try to continue with my reciting, but it's getting really hard to concentrate when her top's coming off like that and she's waving those br...erm...that pizza right there under my nose.
I feel the beads of sweat start to trickle down my forehead. "Number 18...Hollis...Number 62...Breasts - erm, Breslin!" Shite. There's no way to deal with this and make it stop. "Bloody hell, it's hot in here." I shift in my seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure from where I'm pushed so tightly against the inside of my jeans, but the girl on my lap has the nerve to notice what I'm doing and all at once starts swaying so that her movements are making my own hips move back and forth instead of side to side. The smell of the pizza and the nice, smooth, round breasts so close to my eyes and the way she's making my jeans rub on my body...
"NOOOOOOO!!!" I shout, and throw my head back over the top of the chair with my eyes closed, concentrating harder on nothing happening than I've ever had to concentrate in my life!
I hear a chuckling behind me and a light, sexy giggling from in front of me and one of the twins claps me on the shoulder. "Whassamatter, little brother? Aren't you enjoying the show?"
Then the other one claps the other shoulder and says, "I dunno, looks like he's enjoying it to me."
"Too much to recite the Chudley Cannons team, that's for sure," the napkin says, close to my ear and fills in the last of the team in a low, breathy voice.
"Yeah...enjoying..." I pant, still pinching my eyes tightly shut. "Too...much..." Sweet Merlin, the napkin knows the Cannons, too? "Love...Hermione..."
"Aww, we know you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't be quoting Quidditch when a smokin' hottie's doin' a doozie on your lap," one of the twins says.
"Your lady's certainly a lucky one," the delivery girl says. It's still low and husky, but definitely a girl's and definitely exotic. "Not many men try to ignore us."
"But can't you let loose and just enjoy it?" the napkin says. "Think of it as...a form of art! Natya and I are artists."
Eyes still closed - listening, but eyes still closed..."Yeah, but art never made me wanna..." No, I'm not finishing that, not even gonna think about that. "I mean, you're very nice - and very...pretty, both of you...and very-" Do not think breasts, do not think hips, do not..." - and you're very...talented, but...I can't."
The napkin puts her hands on my shoulder and I feel her breath blow on my earlobe as she whispers, "It's not as if we're actually doing anything. We dance. Sometimes we dance on the ground, sometimes on the table, sometimes on you. All you have to do is sit and watch. Besides...don't you want some pizza?"
Her warm breath in my ear sets my nerves jangling all the way down my spine to my toes. And all this, when I'm not even looking. I swear I'm going to first kill the twins and then talk to Hermione about never having to wait this long between ever again...just in case...
But bloody hell, I am starved. "Yeah," I whimper, feeling stupid. "All I wanted from the start was pizza."
Her hands slide off my shoulders and I feel her weight lift off my lap, and breathe a sigh of relief.
Only then she's back, wiggling her hips, swirling them, one of her legs curling around my chest. The smell of the pizza is overwhelming now and now the delivery girl's whispering in my ear, "If you want pizza, you have to open your eyes."
"No," I whine. "Because I already know what you look like, and what you'll do - and you'll make me want to do something I really don't wanna do - and...it's got nothing to do with pizza."
She laughs, her breath blowing on my ear in little puffs. "You may want to do it, but you can't do it, so don't worry about that. All Sheena and I do is dance. Now...if you don't want the pizza, I suppose the Sheena, the twins, and I can eat it. But I did deliver it just for you. The whole thing. Everything on it. Melted cheese...pepperoni...sausage..."
My stomach growls in longing at just the words, for heaven's sake. "Okay, okay, so if I open my eyes to eat pizza, you won't dance?"
"I didn't say that," she coos. "I said that's all we do. It's just a show, Ron. We perform and you are our audience. But that's all we do is dance."
I can feel the smells being waved under my nose so close it's painful. "And I'm the delivery girl. My dance is to deliver the pizza to you. But only if you open your eyes."
I take a huge, deep breath and let it out. Wonder if I can do this? I used to be able to ignore Lav at the end when she was just about serving herself up on a platter. But I knew I couldn't live with myself if I let myself do anything - even before Hermione and I were official. I can do this, I think. I can do this.
"Okay, I can do this. Gonna open my eyes, and I'm gonna eat pizza. Nothing more, not thinking about anything more...ignoring the pain of...never mind."
When I open them, I see the exotic girl staring me straight in the eyes and she smiles. I look down toward the pizza and swallow, trying to concentrate only on the food. It's really hard, though, because she's wearing some skimpy top that looks like turkish delight and suddenly I feel a craving for turkish delight.
"Don't you want some pizza?" she breathes, holding the pizza out to me, little by little. It feels like it takes ages for it to get close enough for me to take a bite, but finally I do and I almost pass out, it tastes so good.
Not only that, the taste of the pizza gives me some other sensation to concentrate on besides, er...yeah. "Mmmm, that stuff is awesome. Can I have some more?"
"If your eyes stay open, you can have all the pizza you want," she says, winking at me. "And don't worry about making a mess. That's what napkins are for."
"Right then," I say. "I'll do what I can." I try not to think about why the, erm, ladies believed I'd be making a mess. There was just a whole hell of a lot not to think about tonight. I hope I can remember what all not to think about.
"Eyes open, see? More pizza, please? Or one of you could just undo these magical ropes, if you'd rather..."
The napkin lady moves forward and reaches around my shoulder and for a brief moment of disbelief and hope, I think she's actually going to free me. But then she just passes the napkin over my mouth and smiles.
The pizza lady picks up another piece of pizza, a really big one, and runs her tongue over her dark, glistening upper lip as she continues to sway on my thighs. "As requested," she says and winks again.
I find it helps if I sorta look up, if only a little. I still have to deal with feeling her dancing, but at least not watching her too. I concentrate on just sitting there, chewing my hard-earned pizza and pretending I'm not tied to a chair being lap-danced on.
But it's then she slides her tongue across her lip, and even looking up isn't entirely safe any more.
We're halfway through the pizza before she starts running the palm of her hand up and down my chest, scooting a little closer as she continues to dance. It's getting really hard to ignore her now, since the initial relief of the food has started to fade. It still tastes just as good, but as my hunger pains lessen, I start to feel a bit more of the pizza lady and the effect she has on me.
Again.
"Got anything to drink?" I ask, realizing that's one tack I hadn't tried yet tonight.
The pizza lady pauses on her way to fetch another slice and turns back to me, one eyebrow cocked. "Thirsty now, are you?" she says. Then, Merlin, I can't believe this, she reaches down between her breasts and pulls up a tall bottle of butterbeer.
Bloody hell. I can not believe she did that. When she holds the bottle top to my lips I try not to think of where it's just been and what it's been touching. She carefully tilts it up so I can take a swig - a few times she does this, but it's actually getting easier to ignore how sexy the ladies are because I'm getting to know them just a bit. I notice some shiny, silvery little tassels swinging on her hips as she dances. "Those are really nice," I say, usually not giving a whit about things on that on girls. But these are special somehow. "Where'd you get them?
"They were specially made," she says. "I'm glad you like them. They catch the light best when they're swaying, don't you think?" she says, giving her hips a nice wide turn, making the tassles float in the air.
"Erm...yeah," I say, feeling myself getting giddy again and trying to ignore what those tassels were attached to. "They are really shiny."
I shake my head as bit as there seems to be something a bit stronger in the butterbeer than just butterbeer. "Is this special stuff or something? Butterbeer Extra?"
"Maybe it's the brewery," she says, shaking her head, as well as her hips. My eyes follow the floaty silver threads instinctively. "The twins didn't want to give you anything too strong the night before your wedding."
"Ah, but...it's making me feel kinda fuzzy - or something is. Don't think it's you or her this time - that feeling was not fuzzy - most definitely not. I'll have some more, though." She finishes helping me with another two bottles before I'm ready to stop. All that pizza and sweating before made me thirsty.
She runs her hands up my chest and over my shoulders. Her hips move with the motion of her hands as she rubs away the tention at the base of my neck. "It's probably just because you're finally relaxing. Weddings can be stressful. It feels good to let loose.*
Oddly enough, instead of her hands making me feel like I had to avoid putting them somewhere on her, they were making me feel relaxed and after a while, very sleepy. "Yeah...feels good..." I think I mumbled, my head kinda rolling from side to side as I have trouble holding it up.
She whispers something else but I'm just so tired now I can't make out what she's saying. Instead, I see her mouth the words, the rocking of her hips and the movement of her hands making the tension just drop away. My head lolls forward and the last thing I see before I finally conk out is one of the silver tassles draped across one dark thigh.