Oh. My. God.

Nov 11, 2010 20:45


I very specifically didn't watch this when I first woke up, because I was not in an excited mood. I did read the first line of a comment on being_erica which made me go “YAY KAI!” and look forward to being awake and alert. Then I checked the flist and _scally had some picts that made me go o.O so I read the first couple paragraphs and OMG, a Dr. Tom episode too? Ish? -dies, flails, hits play almost immediately, since my Being Erica life is now slowed by excessive commentary.-


Of course the “previouslies” jump into Adam/Erica and I just want to make a yucky face. But wow. They're covering EVERYTHING this week, eh? From Adam/Erica to Barb/Gary, possibly Sam/Lenin, Dr. T/Sarah and the Kai situation.

We open in Group, Dr. T in the middle of actively giving assistance to that guy who's name I don't know. About talking to women, which is unfair because it makes me want to see Dr. T talking to a woman, so long as that woman is Erica. The real point, once Adam starts talking, is to give us Erica's awkward face when Adam gives her slight eyes and alludes to their therapeutic relationship. I think. I averted my eyes for a moment there because I'm still having trouble watching them. Summoning the will to keep my eyes glued to the screen, no matter how awkward, embarrassing, or downright horrifying events proceed, Adam is STILL looking at Erica. Creepy.

Darryl. Darryl Darryl Darryl. He immediately walks off to ask out a girl, and I can't help but think this scene could have been scripted to give a little more life and personality to our Other Three Group members, without taking up much more time. Instead, like the last time we focused at all on Darryl, it's just marking time until we can get Erica/Adam alone in the aftermath. I dislike that Group is treated this way. I would have been happier even if Dr. T had offered a quote, rather than his direct assessment.

Now Adam is complimenting Erica, and even going to “learn from the best.” Eek, awkward, want to hide! It's interesting from the standpoint that a very few episodes ago he thought she was clueless and he was god, but I have an admitted squick about over complimenting and this sort of cloying behaviour because in RL it's so very, very creepy.

Still waiting for someone to hang around after Group and have talkies with Dr. Tom. Adam glanced over before leaving, so I presume Dr. T is still there.

Oh hey! I just realized why Adam's door is all covered in plants! I feel silly.

That looks like Sarah from the top. But why would she be so dirty? How are they going to age her, because she'd be late 20s, if not 30? Why would she even have the same hair? I love the pass on the face shot, and the way her hand grabs at her bag. THAT is really good characterization.

Dr. T walks into his office and Dr. Arthur is there, peering around. LOL to Dr. T's face! He's totally WTF'ing.

Wait, backing up. What? Therapist details! 6? What 6? What are we learning here? Erica was his last one-on-one patient. Did he start them all at the same time? Do they have patients in batches? If he picked up a sixth, who and when would they Group with? Can then bend time for Group? If Erica had done Group with Dr. N, what Group would she have been with. And the BIG question: WHO does Dr. T want for a sixth? I'm presuming he wants another because he's trying to keep himself busy, reaffirm that he's alright himself, and possibly wants a doover after messing up with Erica.

Dr. A implies he -already- has a heavier workload than anyone... Do therapists normally have 4 patients at a time, and Erica was his extra anyway? That would be very interesting... How and why did he pick up her, and did he have any inkling it would fall out like it did? Did someone pick her for him?

It sounds like by 'heaviest caseload' Dr. A just means that Dr. T's patients are the most screwed up. That's strangely complimentary to his choosing skills.

But it brings up a question: why aren't there thousands of doctors by this point, way more than enough to deal with patients? Is this profession so new, so locked into a base timeline that the field hasn't grown that much? Does every patient not become a Doctor?

-coughs on ice cream- Dr. A is telling Dr. T to go MEET A WOMAN!?! And go on holiday, implying that Dr. T does do therapy full time. But I don't WANT him to meet a woman. Where are they going with this? (Though I do very much appreciate taking us back to Darryl and his issue with women, because I had zero expectation it would be brought up in reference to Tom.)

“Arrangements will be made for you to take on an additional patient.” How, what, who? How? What?

When will Erica find out? It was a blow to find out Dr. T had other patients. But finding out he wants to take on another patient after Erica is... almost worse, somehow. I know he was clinging to Erica as a one-on-one patient, which is either more special or less once we consider that she was the only one he had, at least near the end. Is he trying to replace her? Just keep himself busy? Please tell me there's a hole in his life that used to be filled by the especial care he had to give Erica., and that all the office time is actually him still reaching out for her.

And BTW, Dr. A knew the phone was going to ring before it did. Interesting.

Dude. His office phone is a real world number! Which surprises me way more than Margery being on the other end to say Sarah's back. I think I'm numb from the shock of all the hints to mythology that were just dumped on our heads, why are they going to continue bludgeoning with Sarah and Kai stuff?

Wow. Sarah looks like crap. She certainly looks older. But deep down, I always assumed she was a thriving artist somewhere, happy on a commune or teaching high school art/college art, selling her stuff at flea markets. Not hugely successful but comfortably getting by. As it is, she looks like a crack addict, except she's not fidgeting quite enough. Maybe she's just really really tired and not wearing makeup...

I can't read Margery's expression.

Dr. T arrives home, and I am highly disconcerted to see him in the real world, and busy myself puzzling over how time works such that he gets a phone call from the real world, then makes it to the house in a reasonable time frame. Did he exit his office 'building' and get there in a normal manner? At least Margery looks like upset is winning over happiness now. I'd flip out if my adult, non-mentally-impaired daughter came home 10 years after running away and looked like a hobo.

As I leave it on pause, waiting until I feel ready to watch this Dr. T/Sarah scene, I find myself wondering if Dr. N had gone to Dr. A to argue against a sixth patient. And now I wonder if Dr. T will give up the sixth patient after this interlude, if he'll get back together with Margery (eek!) or etc. And I hope like anything that it will come down to why he felt the need for a sixth patient and we'll get a bit of Erica bonding because I'm still a bit upset about losing the reassurance, even if it was faux, that Dr. T and Erica are special.

Oh, we also learned that Tom has been in contact with his real life, and Margery, so she knows he's gotten his life together. I hadn't thought about that before. Hmm.

Sorry, she REALLY looks like crap, highlighted by her parents both looking really good, even though they're at least 20 years older. Is she married? She's wearing several rings, so one never knows.

LOL at the little look Tom shoots Margery after going into Therapist-Mode. I wonder if she knows what he does? Like, in general, obviously she doesn't know he time travels.

Heroin, called it! Honestly, I buy the story, but given what we knew of Sarah, she had more direction and better sense. Granted she was left all alone, and her life 'til that point had been secure in familiar surroundings and the same group of friends. And this was a decade ago, so okay, I buy it. But why does she STILL look like she uses? Because she does. Ah. THAT, I don't buy. It does raise the very interesting question: why is she back?

Is this all a false reality created by Dr. N or Dr. A to teach Dr. T a lession? Because this is pretty much a worst case scenario.

She's back because she wants to get clean. Hmm. For some reason, I feel like Sante Fe is a good place to get clean. It feels a bit random for her to suddenly want to get clean and travel X distance to go home to actually get support and have to confront her issues along with the major life change. Is Sarah in therapy, and that's what prompted her to come? That would be so awesome.

Prostitution. We get it. Tom wanted to not know, we wanted to not know, why do I continually believe there are more high functioning drug users than are represented on tv?

That was a nice shot of Tom and Margery. Looking proper in a clean, nice upper-middle-class house, looking very small and very lost because they can't understand or computer the foreign life that is sitting on the couch looking like their daughter.

And after that head trip, Dave is on the phone with Kai. Only a few months after his band signed, so they're on the radio now but wouldn't have made it really big. Was Kai back anyway? Has he already bought the expresso machine? Did Kai originally not come, and that was his regret, so when he's actually back he's future!Kai? Or did he regret something that happened during the trip?

On top of all that (page 3 and less than 10 minutes in) hi Judith! We didn't even see you in the “previouslies” but it looks like we'll be continuing the theme of you having reached a tedious point in your marriage/mommihood/life and hence the brief exploration of other options that you won't take because you'll determine you do love your life and it will get better.

And there's Sam, walking towards who we have to assume is Lenin. Was I just remarking a week or two ago on how empty the episode felt? This ep, definitely not sparse.

Back to Sarah. She's talking like she's been in therapy. If she's not, it's even more impressive that she did it on her own, and makes for a comparison with the patients who received so much help to get where they are, when she's doing it on her own.

I just realized Dr. T can't have a sixth patient because we don't have time to see them, Erica is still our focus, and having another one out there will just be distracting. Is he going to help Sarah instead? Do we have time for that either? Dr. T's arcs are so much more subtle than that.

HE SAID THE WORD COMMITMENT. !!! I'm having flash backs of session one with Erica. And he does a quote! Where are they going with this? That he's treating everyone like a patient rather than having real relationships? That's he's NOT entirely happy with his life as is, because he's happier when he has family?

Just when I needed a laugh, Dave is giving Kai ultimatums on the phone and I'm just reminding myself that we're only 13 minutes into the episode, even though it feels like we've covered enough material to be on minute 40, so there's still plenty of time for Kai to show up and THERE, sitting at the bar, is Kai, exactly placed to respond to Dave in real life as Dave talks to some random answering machine.

SQUEE! KAI!!! Future Kai, I presume, though I don't really care. I wuv him and miss him. It's now that I realize how dour this season has been, by comparison. Sure Goblins is the source of hilarity, but the bulk of the show is much heavier and Kai always had a sense of life and lightness and energy, even when being mopey, that current characters lack.

Why did Kai bring his manager? I didn't recognize him for a while, actually. And I distinctly recall being fascinated by him in the future. Is this the same guy?

Future!Kai! Because he recognizes Erica! And after Erica is continually confronted by his past!Kai self, who doesn't know her, this is just another highly peculiar moment in a show now that time travel is hitting us like a meteor shower. Pricks and pinches, here and there, peppering the landscape.

It also occurs to me that Kai met most of Erica's friends during his extended regret session. He left town directly after his future self left so he's likely not run into any of them, but I wonder if anyone else is going to notice that he doesn't know everyone he should, at any point. Obviously not now, since he's future!Kai again. Umm. Nerp. What was he doing in town a few weeks previously? Did his manager wonder where he'd gone?

Poor Erica! Not only is she confronted with Future!Kai again, it's not even unexpected because he already told her they'd meet but he doesn't remember the aftermath, she just heard about it second hand. If I were her, I'd be pretty baffled too. Now, I've been rotten so far at calling scene breaks, but I bet there'll be one here. Yup! Right off to the two of them, alone, talking in an emptyish space. We see three empty shot glasses in the foreground, in focus, implying they've been there a while, stuff has happened/deals made/whatever.

And we find out he DID originally blow off Dave. And we can assume he felt bad about that originally, and wasn't just looking at this as an opportunity to see Erica. At the least, he'd not know she'd be hanging out at Goblins so much, or working out of the back room. And right THERE, the point where Erica definitely situates him in his timeline compared to hers. Is she going to tell him that his future!self visited her a few weeks ago? Presumably no, or he won't do it... And I really wish Dr. T was here to help deal with this, rather than off distracted by Sarah.

Dr. T takes taxis. Taxies are strangely orangey-yellow and have teal-green stripes over the top. There are police at Margery's house. Death? What? No ambulances.

Nope, she's gone. And Margery called the police. Like... someone broke in and took her? Because I didn't think the police would respond to a grown woman leaving again, especially after she'd just rolled into town.

Oh, it's a robbery! That makes more sense than Sarah pulling herself together, actually. “Doing what she needs to do to get money.” I did not see that one coming. Dr. T is going to need Dr. N time at the end of this day. Though I still wish like mad he could have some Erica time instead.

Oh hey! Kai reads a book! And waits for Erica outside her apartment and notes that in the future he got back and fired his manager, even though really, his manager seems like a decent guy, if really pushy.

Right here, so sweetly awkward and I don't actually want to throw my blanket over my head. I love Kai/Erica, they do this so well. Adam/Erica, not so much. I wonder why I have so much more trouble with Adam? Perhaps it has something to do with Kai's much greater command of the English language, and more interesting adjectives?

I'm not even alarmed by the fact he's essentially asking for a one night stand, because their situation is so screwey that it -totally-makes-sesnse. But like, Dr. Fred is okay with this? Dr. Tom is okay with this? Doesn't this strike anyone as a point at which to intervene because they come from different times?

Aw, he looks so hurt as he leaves. And Erica runs after him and Ooh! I was waiting for office time! Only it's Group time. Um. Wow. Are they really going to talk about this in Group? What will everyone else think about Erica's relationship with a foreign patient from the future? What do they know about it? Why are they intervening now, presumably to stop her, given that she clearly slept with him in one timeline that already intersected with hers? Is Dr. T even running this Group, since he's busy with Sarah? Is he just going to be overly cranky? Is anyone else even there, or will it be a one-on-one in Group room? Because that could be mega-epic.

GASPS. Group, but NO Dr. T?!?

They clearly know something, because Adam is giving Erica a betrayed look, which he has no right to do since he totally blew her off.

And Erica looks around and... “Where's Dr. Tom?” This is such a pivotal moment. Previously, when Dr. T fell down on the job (also because of Sarah) it was Erica who pulled him out. Will it be this way again, or are they so divided that Erica will never be involved in this incident?

Oh, there he is! I miscounted doors earlier, I guess, if his door is the one with steps in front of. Only, that's not what his door looks. He is late, and he does look upset. Not the optimal time for him to deal with Erica, or the Kai situation, since he had so many issues surrounding Dr. Fred and Kai and Erica's relationship with (them). :D

GASP again. Okay, so his door is across from Erica's. Her chair faces his door. If usually there are only four patients, none would face the therapist. This shot, from Dr. T across the room, Erica framed in her doorway, is awesome. She's his focus, the only one he can see just now. But it's not just Erica, before her, in greater focus, is an empty chair. It's a double theme of lost and found, what you have and what you might have - if she sits, if the chair was placed, if she came in the door. I love the shots we get in Group.

Look, he's frazzled. “I was delayed.” And the door banging and uncontrolled entrance and being out of breath, just a little. Arms crossed over his chest in a defensive manner. Standing at the top of the steps, higher than his patients, framed in his archway for Erica to best see- everyone else must turn their heads. Even his door, facing slightly away from perpendicular, sets him apart. When he opens the door, no one can see directly past him into his world. He is a mystery, separate, but not really as separate as he might believe.

Now he's sitting even further up his steps than normal, nodding and fidgeting and Dr. T is going to do something or say something soon, and Erica will notice something is off. I really really wish he'd bolt and Erica would look around and follow him.

Oh YAY! The Group is having troubles computing. And are wondering what patients can and can't do, especially regards all those rules Kai breaks. And appeal to Dr. T for answers. If nothing else, this scene does show Erica as somewhat special, because this situation is highly peculiar, and totally down to therapy. It's not something that would ever happen otherwise.

And then Dr. T looks up, like he wasn't really listening, and as to if Kai can do that: “Well, apparently he can. Off you go, keep talking.” SNORTS. That's just so totally not the calm, professional Dr. T they're used to. He's being very human here. Good natured but dismissive and careless. It didn't even occur to me until now that Erica was also thinking about how Kai had told her about her 2019 self, which is even worse and more egregious than telling her they'd sleep together in a few weeks.

OOH! (I'm saying OOH a lot this episode.) Erica's trouble really is the same one we've been having. Darryl brings up the time paradox issue, and Adam's response? “This isn't Star Trek.” This Group session, I like. Very dynamic. Dr. T is getting up now though, he's been fidgeting more and more and looking around exasperated. What's he going to reveal? Why are they even in Group? They're all debating time travel technicalities, which they're not qualified for anyway. Is this being used as lesson time for them all en mass? They're bringing up other theories: fate, then along to a more relevant question, does she want to. How can she even answer that, knowing what she knows?

Dr. T is pacing and snarky. Group proves that they like, actually heard/saw the scene with Kai at Erica's apartment, unless Erica related that bit when the camera was off. But um... It's not just a rock star propositioning her. This isn't a fantasy. Erica has a real relationship with Kai. This situation isn't different just because he's a rock star, that's immaterial. (PS, I love that when I type 'star' my auto complete immediately suggests StargateSG1. Heh!)

And again, they call for Dr. Tom and he's like, not paying attention. And looks a little shiny eyed and out of it. Yeah, he's totally freaking out. Someone shove him through a door, quick, so he can have a session, or at least some alone time.

This totally hits on that old point: Erica has seen him vulnerable, an absolute mess. But have any of his other patients? If they haven't before, they are now. OMG. “We all have the right to ask questions Adam, even when they are utterly banal.” Well, what DID they come together to talk about? Shouldn't he know? (Is he really the subject, and Dr. N called the Group for him?) Dr. T is insulting everyone here, and it's amazing. Shocking. Epic. An OMG of the magnitude that this show consistently reaches, every season, and is why this is my favourite show on the air. They KNOW how to pick their moments.

BTW, Erica looks properly horrified. I'm waiting for a shoe to drop.

I can't believe he just walked into the circle to snark at Erica. “There are people in this world with real problems.” Indeed. But... They talk about trivial stuff all the time. Just 20 minutes ago we were telling Darryl to talk to a girl. And Erica has more substantial time travel conundrums here. She needs to know that if she doesn't sleep with Kai, she won't wink out of existence.

Dr. T just walked out his door. Directly away from Erica. “This is not a real problem.” Well, possibly winking out of existence IS something that would concern most people, but okay, he's upset. We didn't immediately follow him. We all stare after him, the audience and Erica probably less shocked in some ways, more shocked in others, than the rest of the Group who have probably not seen him like this before. They all look at Erica, she was the brunt of the attack and it looks like she's special. Which she is, though the timing is more important.

So Erica goes out her door, Adam doesn't manage to stop her, and her situation is unresolved, even though she has missed Kai and thus was interrupted unfairly. Then we zip over to Dr. T alone in his office, pacing, with his dead eyes. Coming to a conclusion, heading resolutely for the door and

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. I gasp aloud, again, louder than ever because DR. T WALKS INTO ERICA'S APARTMENT. I figured he'd end up in Dr. N's office, again. Because last time, when they argued in his office (oh right, keep forgetting that scene in Papa!) he looked like he was going to go after her and never made it, Dr. N hijacked him. So I assumed that would happen here but NO! We've been there and done that so this time the stakes are raised and here he is! In her house for the first time and this is just so awesome. Best scene ever and I haven't seen it yet!

I'm smiling at the image of the rest of Group, going WTF and probably leaving (unless Dr. N comes in or Dr. T/Erica reenter before Group can disband) and generally having no clue that Dr. T and Erica are talking right now. (By and by, the picture above his mantel is Sarah's sketch again. Nice detail.)

Dr. T is stomping, Erica is surprised. Dr. T is angry and yelling and gives us another timeline bit so we don't even have to reconstruct - it's been 2 years since Erica started therapy. Clearly, he's displacing his anger with his daughter onto Erica here. The saying is that we can be mean to family because they'll forgive us. We hurt the ones we're closest to. Is this Dr. T/Erica? Tom needs an outlet so he rages at Erica as the only one he has? It would tie in to the idea that he needs a real life, some place to blow off some steam and take a break and etc.

Why was he like, heading for her bedroom? Is it just him putting himself deep into her space so she can't get rid of him? And we can see his office through Erica's front door and I want icons and probably a header and wallpaper.

Erica's typical response to him yelling is “why are you yelling at me” but I can't believe that he just SHOUTED: “BECAUSE I'M DISAPPOINTED.” Wow, that was amazing. And now he looks like he feels kinda silly. Very good point on her side, that she didn't call the session. In actual fact, she was running after Kai, implying that she was, in fact, dealing with the situation.

Aha! Dr. T is trying to yoink her back into one-on-one. He was, earlier, craving the feeling of being needed, but in a crisis he doesn't want to look after anyone new he just wants Erica back. He wants their old, familiar relationship back or he wants her gone, once again he can't deal with anything in between. She might want to consider bitch-slapping him, to see if that puts him back in his senses.

Very true, that he's not acting like himself. Though pointing that out in a calm voice is not really going to help in this sort of situation. And, in fact, he absolutely freaks out. Oh. My. God. He's literally vibrating with rage. This is just like... The most amazing payoff for the past 2.5 seasons. How is everyone in the world not obsessed with this show?

Granted, I could wish that Erica tried to sit him down and talk to him rather than kick him out. Tough love? Gotta solve problems on your own? Dr. T will come back and talk to her later after he gets his head on straight, right? We had the after-talk both times he's wigged out on her.

Was part of him trying to break off with Erica completely? Like having her around is reminder of Sarah, his own failure, his disappointment and impotency? Sarah left again, he's trying to get rid of Erica so he has nothing?

Erica's vibrating in anger (?) Dr. T works his jaw a lot and does a slow measured step out the door. Was he looking for Erica to shout back? But she wouldn't, so he crested the anger hill and is simmering directionlessly? He'll totally walk into Dr. N's office now, yes?

Wah! No. He shuts the door, not looking back, and here's Sam and Lenin. I don't want the emotional break! I want Tom back! Or even Kai! Julianne! They can't just drag us out of all that. There are only 20 minutes left!

I rescind my panic. It was a cute scene, and brought the emotions down to a point where we could naturally find Dr. T sitting at a bar going back to his old habits. At least getting drunk - he's not in a fight (yet.) Nice light in this shot. I wish this would end with Dr. T pulled back into HIS group, with Erica as special guest.

Dr. Arthur again. Is he dealing with this as the best choice, or has Dr. N given up?

Oh, Dr. T called him. Is he going to try to quit again?

He's come to the conclusion he can't save Sarah. That's good. But... What does this mean for Erica? For Group? For Tom? He'll be taking back his request for a sixth patient I guess. What else?

! New revelation! Dr. A chooses and assigns patients! And Dr. T is asking him to pick up Sarah. Whoa. Strong scene. And Dr. Tom swears!

“I failed at marriage, at being a father...” “You're an excellent Doctor.” “I'M SCREAMING AT MY PATIENTS.” And in the middle of an empty bar at 2pm. Technically he only screamed at Erica, which I hope achieves some attention. Though he did snark at everyone else. The theme of failure and helplessness separates this from the previous, very similar discussions with Dr. N. Replicated by his talking to a therapist one level up. And right here, we see the beginnings of him slipping back into a life of violence. And he's enjoying it. ! Time for therapy session!

Oh no way. ! We're back on the roof! We go from “history repeating means we failed to learn from it” to suicide attempt on the roof! We knew he was stuck in this moment, and now we get to learn why! What happened, who helped, how he got down and IF HE'S ALIVE. (Well, I know he is because I read little bits of comments, but I always assumed he was anyway so I don't feel disappointed that I spoiled myself a wee little bit.)

Except he's contemplating jumping much more like he's past!Tom and not like he just found himself sitting on a familiar ledge. ? He DOES jump! And finds himself in Dr. N's office. Which is. Um. ? Everyone else had a near death experience and a visit. He FALLS into therapy. Um. So. What? Like, he got to redo jumping and decide not to? And this initial moment, his last before therapy, is the one Erica visited? I'm baffled.

Ooh, so we're getting to see Tom's original past, without his new self participating. And a tiny hint of how therapists get to watch, though it wasn't technically very helpful. Like looking through a window into an operating room?

Oh my god he DIED! I don't understand her either. Oh hey, does everyone die, get to make this choice, then not get to remember it? Then the therapist swings by a bit later and they meet again with the inevitable acceptance of help? Or is reversing death optional? Is there a scene somewhere of dead!Erica talking with Dr. T because the hospital scene isn't really the same, and there was no choice for life involved there.

Ooh, it is like looking through a window! If the window were tinged blue. And we find out that Dr. T has been simplifying his past problems, Sarah left and he unhinged but it was his lack of life that drove him to suicide. Hence back to Dr. A's advice to get a life. But... I don't want Tom to get a life, because I am selfish and fear that he will find a woman and that would be sad and upsetting. I pout. At least it also gives us the hint that part of the problem with Erica is that he can see her leaving his life, and that upsets him, partly because it's her and a lot because she was his last one-on-one, like the last child leaving the nest. Rather than making his relationship with Erica less special, it just makes it more complicated. If she wasn't who she was, certain aspects would be the same, but others wouldn't be, and it is those others that lead us to questions of fate.

Nope, he remembers that scene. So... The way people get into therapy just varies. I'm still iffy on how much in the real world therapists live. Patients are still pretty much entirely in the real world, but Dr. Tom barely seems to at all. Does he have an actual real life, only he spends all his time in his office reading and thinking and hiding from it?

We see Tom's list! In a book with lined pages. Whichis either very short or this is his last page, but it has Sarah, Killing Myself, Hurting Margery, The Intern, Quseters (?), Airsnow (Airshow?), Bill's Cottage, Father's Day, The bully, Rosedale, Vows.

It's very short. That's his whole list. Do they go off book a lot in this situation? Or this this just another way he was able to keep Erica way past her time? Any way, they jump into regret 2, Killing Myself, which seems wrong because he goes back to change it and everything does change, though I guess since he's changing his mind 3 seconds later all that really changes is 3 seconds of falling so it's just in time to not break the laws of spacetime.

“Undo? You mean I don't have to die?” O.O

She said that too slowly and I continued her “Yes Tom...” into “you have to die,” before she finished with 'You're being given the change to live.” CRAZY.

Erica's door is knocking, and I'm actually baffled. Because I think it's Dr. T who will apologize they will talk and Erica will go find Kai. But then, we haven't seen nearly enough of Kai in this episode and I'm starting to wish he weren't in this ep, no matter how awesomely he dovetailed into Dr. T's breakdown because when Kai is back I want to spend time with Kai. Anyway it's about time for him to turn up again, unless we're not seeing him until the show but since that's a day and a half later, probably too far.

… And it's ADAM? What? Are we getting Adam/Erica on top of Erica/Kai and Dr. Tom and Dr. Tom/Erica? o.O

It does give us confirmation that Adam's never seen Dr. Tom lose it. And Erica volunteers the information that Dr. T followed her home and yelled some more. Though it's odd she still thinks this is all about her when clearly it's Dr. Tom having issues. Still, when you're being yelled at by someone you respect, it's hard not to think about how valid the points might be.

Snickers! When Adam asks what she's going to do, clearly still thinking about the Kai question, Erica is totally thinking about Dr. Tom. Which has eclipsed all thought of Kai for her. The next time she sees him will be awkward, indeed. But then, she's had that moment a couple times before, she should be getting used to it.

I am convinced she'll have to see Dr. Tom before she sees Kai again though. And her decision about Kai will follow from the talk she has with Dr. T.

“Kai sounds messed up.” I think the better argument is that he lives 10 years in the future which is super long distance and they might just get attached which isn't going to end well.

Now Erica is snarking at Adam. Which I have to believe is stemming a bit from ongoing frustration and from Dr. T just yelling at her and is really justified because Adam needs a slap. I appreciate that she doesn't smile at all, she just finds this conversation irritating and his behaviour unpleasant. Gosh. Everything's hitting the fan. “you're a coward” “you're full of yourself” and another door closes. Why do I feel like someone will knock directly? It doens't. But doors opening and closing are a good theme for this episode.

Dave is weird.

Erica isn't there at all! :( I believe in fate, so I think she will sleep with him, pushed, probably, by Adam. She'll come in during his performance. I'm sad about the 2 seconds of Julianne, but she was awesome so it's all good. Yes, there she is! I hope she hasn't already changed things and he doesn't end up with another 'last time I saw you I was singing and you were smiling' because that's actually a little sad. But once he finishes, his regret is technically done so... :(

So he wrote a song in the future he's now injecting in the past? On the up side he's still there, after, so at least they get to talk. The sex scene is much less awkward than the Adam dream.

Tom at prison. Guess they found Sarah? She didn't manage to just disappear again.

He says Margery (Margerie?) is “at home.” He doesn't still live there though, right? But he still thinks of it that way, the home where they lived as a family.

I'm just thinking how strange the taxi's in this city are, because the one Kai is getting into is red with a yellow top. When Dr. Tom walks up, rather quickly. ! They talk outside a lot. He calls her, as usual, stays far away, letting her approach him or waiting for a sign that he can approach?

She crosses her arms and looks cranky, so he moves forwards a little but apologizes at a half shout from a dozen paces. And now he's crossing her to halfway, like a penance. She's being very nice. “It makes it a little better.” I want her to find out why he flipped out, but I don't want him to explain it. Yes, he ought to have canceled session (or have someone take it over.) I like that the first thing that occurred to him was explaining it to her, Tom is taking precedence over Dr. Tom here. I'm iffy on him explaining to her now, because it feels like he's reaching out without quite knowing it. I have to presume he's telling her because she already knows the first half of the story, might as well get caught up. (Though by telling her, he's singling her out. Now, is he going to tell the rest of Group? What explanation will they get?)

At any rate, his confession makes Erica unfold her arms and start walking towards him, which I've been waiting for :D They're meeting halfway. :D He makes it very short “it was a very difficult day” which avoids being awkward or oversharing while still being very open and totally justifying the warm fuzzy feelings that are moving Erica closer to him.

Much better apology this time, since he's actually asking for forgiveness and not simultaneously trying to get rid of her. How much of this is growth and how much is that now she's in Group they're further apart, I couldn't say.

“Are you okay?” Awww! Very, very rarely, does Erica turn the attention onto him and I love it when she does. And his short “yeah” response, with a sad smile? LOVE. <3<3<3

Ouchies though, that Erica jumps right into trying to be supportive “I get it, you have a life” when his exact problem is that he doesn't, really. (Well, he does now, sort of, but it's still his sticking point and she's poked her finger right on it.) This, btw, is another place where instead of pushing for intimacy, Erica pulls back and lets him have more space than perhaps he actually wants at this juncture. Like when he called her into his office after checking on her in 2019 and she just left after his strange statement that he “doesn't worry about her.”

And they use this moment for him to realize that he does, indeed, have a life. Aw. Erica's so good at making him realize these things. Though the Sarah thing only just happened so we're back to his only real life having been the borderline friendship relationship he has had with Erica.

HE NEEDS A HUG NOW KTHNX.

Aw double-Aw! “I want to be there for you.” That's really not how therapy works but I love that's who Erica is and what their relationship has been like.

And he just awkwardly leaves. Because he wouldn't let himself take her up on that offer and maybe because neither is sure how far she actually means it. He pulls away first and Erica looks even a bit disappointed that he's still ambiguous, getting only so close but staying so far away. A bit like trying to make friends with a stray dog. You hold out a bone and they come a little closer, a little closer, and scamper.

Watching this last scene through, by this point he does owe her an explanation for his behavior, and once again he shares just enough to be sharing, but not enough to really be talking to her.

being erica

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