rockin' the suburbs
home.
is this a quiet place where you should be alone?
seriously, though. i'm bored. and lonely. it happens, i guess. nothing new to report on the frontlines. mae was here for a few days, it was nice. she's home in nashua with her family now. i'm here with my mom, when she's focused on this plane of reality. her and mary broke up. i can't say i wasn't expecting it, but it's still... i don't know. all she ever does anymore is cry. i have to convince her to eat sometimes. this isn't fair.
mom told me today that she hates being lonely. and that it isn't my job to fix everything. that she's never felt really loved in her life, because her mother was incapable of it, and her father drank all the time. that dad cared about her, even after the divorce, but hilary took that and ryan away from her. i understand how she feels, as crazy as she drives me sometimes. i wish ryan would come here more often and spend time with us. and not be so aloof.
sometimes, i look at my life and realize how much like mymother i am. and it scares me. i don't want to turn out like her. i feel like my family and life are both falling apart when i come home. and i hate it.
is this a quiet place where you should be alone?
seriously, though. i'm bored. and lonely. it happens, i guess. nothing new to report on the frontlines. mae was here for a few days, it was nice. she's home in nashua with her family now. i'm here with my mom, when she's focused on this plane of reality. her and mary broke up. i can't say i wasn't expecting it, but it's still... i don't know. all she ever does anymore is cry. i have to convince her to eat sometimes. this isn't fair.
mom told me today that she hates being lonely. and that it isn't my job to fix everything. that she's never felt really loved in her life, because her mother was incapable of it, and her father drank all the time. that dad cared about her, even after the divorce, but hilary took that and ryan away from her. i understand how she feels, as crazy as she drives me sometimes. i wish ryan would come here more often and spend time with us. and not be so aloof.
sometimes, i look at my life and realize how much like mymother i am. and it scares me. i don't want to turn out like her. i feel like my family and life are both falling apart when i come home. and i hate it.