The Shoe Thrower or, That Man Can Lame Duck
I’m done thinking about it.
Not without copious effort, mind you. I thought about it long and hard, even occasionally wet and nasty. I looked at all the footage, read all the articles, and analyzed the video frame by frame as if I was studying the exact path of the Magic Bullet. I have swam with the dolphins, traveled with the wolves, scaled the heights of the planet, journeyed across the roof of the world, meditated with monks, delved myself into a South American cannibal tribe, and sipped tea made from thousand year old leaves on the precipice of an Australian plateau as the sun climbed it’s way back on the stage of heaven.
All that, and I still think the guy throwing the shoe at Bush is the funniest damn thing ever. The surge to buy shoes may single handedly save the global economy.
Realistically of course, the funny stops there. If a movie were ever made about the journalist it would have to include a caveat in the rating, “violence, disturbing images”, as he reportedly has been severely beaten in jail and forced to sign an apology. He may even have to spend close to a decade in jail.
That’s the Iraqi freedom I’m talking about! Mission accomplished!
It’s sad really that an Iraqi journalist did one of the most patriotic things I’ve seen recently. I live in America, so true patriotism is rarely seen; just chest thumping and animalistic shouts of “fuck yeah!” disguised as some aggregate form of a dull eyed and fascist whole, i.e., the state of America as it has existed during the last administration. (And most likely even further back).
The tossed shoe(s) is just the lone period at the end of an incredibly long, ill delivered, misspelled and grammatically incorrect run on sentence that comprises the Bushidency. For eight years we’ve been speaking in some sort of Dunwich tongue, and Glycon knows if we’ll ever have any semblance of coherency again. It’s like getting a national case of severe brain damage after a car has been crashing into a brick wall for eight fucking years. Though Bush ‘n Dick are against abortion, their tenure in office is clear evidence that something birthed with no brains and no heart clearly should not be taken to term, let alone two terms.
Bush is lucky it was just a pair of shoes. In any sensible world in any true democratic fashion, the whole lot of them would have been thrown out of office and into some sort of Bastille, or rather; they would have undergone “enhanced resignation”. Hell, even Canada has gone the extra mile of trying to get their new conservative PM out of office already, and he’s only been in power for a few months. But Americans love to drink, and no better drink for the denizens of the greatest country on earth than a concoction of fear with a few spoonfuls of complacency roofies, and we all drink it up. Notice that I’m not outside right now, tipping over cars.
And yes, I am saying we’ve all been fucked on a soiled couch after a drunken frat house soiree.
I constantly ponder how their approval rating is as high as it is, as if they’ve done anything recently to warrant anything more than a heavy dose of medieval Scottish mooning. Actually, I will concede now that Bush’s treatment of the Auto Bailout is admirable, and something I wish was applied to the bank bailout, so there’s that. Of course his treatment of the bailout is a 3 square foot parcel of land in the middle of an endless ocean blackened with Middle Eastern oil, chased with a hundred thousand tankers full of blood.
Couple all of this with the recent Cheney interviews on (lulz)FoxNews(lulz) where Cheney, who has beaten the record of the girl from earlier this year who survived 114 days with no heart by living his entire rancid existence without a heart, grunts and hacks his way through the interview like an elderly relative to tired to care, being predictably unapologetic in his views on the last eight years. It is of no surprise that he thought 9/11 was the highlight of the Administration, and that he maintains the classic adage of “history will judge me” all the while leaving out the important word sequence of words, “…harshly, and with much contempt”. Of Hostel, Cheney would most likely say “the only good stuff comes at the end and it doesn’t last long enough”. I could only imagine the quality and crustiness of his towels after watching his favorite porno over and over again, 9/11 on DVD. I think Cheney needs to see if he can visit a few dozen Iraqi Payless Shoes stores.
Bush continues his “Fuck You, The World” tour, throwing as much shit to the walls of the White House as he can, making sure that Obama has enough problems to tackle so as to diminish whatever light would shine on his presidency and making double sure he cinches his own legacy, though legacy may not be as accurate a word as god damn tragedy. But hey even Che Guevara, with his hatred of artists and love of killing and cross-the-board restrictions making him a model for the Bush Contingency, has his fans; I just don’t imagine anyone wearing Bush shirts without the words “Bush” and “Fuck” on them in reverse order. Somehow, some people still like Bush. But then I think Leonard Part Six is an incredibly underrated movie, daresay Cosby’s best, so to each his or her delusions.
While the world sits and waits nervously to see if Bush can think of any other ways to speedup the global discontent, we are left with burned in shadows of their glorious reign sutck on the ruined walls that adorn the world. In my own effete, liberal(ish), college educated, blue state born, africanistic, slightly anarchic, crass minded, snarling, hollowed echo way, I suppose my only regret is that I am physically and mentally unable to conjure a galactic middle finger large enough to give the Bush Regime a proper and grandiose send off, as I hope that they may be ultimately sent, to a post life tribunal where, just maybe, the realities of the Universe bias towards justice, and they can serve a well earned eternity with Reagan and Helms and their ilk in whatever fires of whatever Hell they are low enough to fall into.
In other words, fuck ‘em.
Let’s hope this will be the last I’ll have to write about them
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
-Ben Franklin
Not without copious effort, mind you. I thought about it long and hard, even occasionally wet and nasty. I looked at all the footage, read all the articles, and analyzed the video frame by frame as if I was studying the exact path of the Magic Bullet. I have swam with the dolphins, traveled with the wolves, scaled the heights of the planet, journeyed across the roof of the world, meditated with monks, delved myself into a South American cannibal tribe, and sipped tea made from thousand year old leaves on the precipice of an Australian plateau as the sun climbed it’s way back on the stage of heaven.
All that, and I still think the guy throwing the shoe at Bush is the funniest damn thing ever. The surge to buy shoes may single handedly save the global economy.
Realistically of course, the funny stops there. If a movie were ever made about the journalist it would have to include a caveat in the rating, “violence, disturbing images”, as he reportedly has been severely beaten in jail and forced to sign an apology. He may even have to spend close to a decade in jail.
That’s the Iraqi freedom I’m talking about! Mission accomplished!
It’s sad really that an Iraqi journalist did one of the most patriotic things I’ve seen recently. I live in America, so true patriotism is rarely seen; just chest thumping and animalistic shouts of “fuck yeah!” disguised as some aggregate form of a dull eyed and fascist whole, i.e., the state of America as it has existed during the last administration. (And most likely even further back).
The tossed shoe(s) is just the lone period at the end of an incredibly long, ill delivered, misspelled and grammatically incorrect run on sentence that comprises the Bushidency. For eight years we’ve been speaking in some sort of Dunwich tongue, and Glycon knows if we’ll ever have any semblance of coherency again. It’s like getting a national case of severe brain damage after a car has been crashing into a brick wall for eight fucking years. Though Bush ‘n Dick are against abortion, their tenure in office is clear evidence that something birthed with no brains and no heart clearly should not be taken to term, let alone two terms.
Bush is lucky it was just a pair of shoes. In any sensible world in any true democratic fashion, the whole lot of them would have been thrown out of office and into some sort of Bastille, or rather; they would have undergone “enhanced resignation”. Hell, even Canada has gone the extra mile of trying to get their new conservative PM out of office already, and he’s only been in power for a few months. But Americans love to drink, and no better drink for the denizens of the greatest country on earth than a concoction of fear with a few spoonfuls of complacency roofies, and we all drink it up. Notice that I’m not outside right now, tipping over cars.
And yes, I am saying we’ve all been fucked on a soiled couch after a drunken frat house soiree.
I constantly ponder how their approval rating is as high as it is, as if they’ve done anything recently to warrant anything more than a heavy dose of medieval Scottish mooning. Actually, I will concede now that Bush’s treatment of the Auto Bailout is admirable, and something I wish was applied to the bank bailout, so there’s that. Of course his treatment of the bailout is a 3 square foot parcel of land in the middle of an endless ocean blackened with Middle Eastern oil, chased with a hundred thousand tankers full of blood.
Couple all of this with the recent Cheney interviews on (lulz)FoxNews(lulz) where Cheney, who has beaten the record of the girl from earlier this year who survived 114 days with no heart by living his entire rancid existence without a heart, grunts and hacks his way through the interview like an elderly relative to tired to care, being predictably unapologetic in his views on the last eight years. It is of no surprise that he thought 9/11 was the highlight of the Administration, and that he maintains the classic adage of “history will judge me” all the while leaving out the important word sequence of words, “…harshly, and with much contempt”. Of Hostel, Cheney would most likely say “the only good stuff comes at the end and it doesn’t last long enough”. I could only imagine the quality and crustiness of his towels after watching his favorite porno over and over again, 9/11 on DVD. I think Cheney needs to see if he can visit a few dozen Iraqi Payless Shoes stores.
Bush continues his “Fuck You, The World” tour, throwing as much shit to the walls of the White House as he can, making sure that Obama has enough problems to tackle so as to diminish whatever light would shine on his presidency and making double sure he cinches his own legacy, though legacy may not be as accurate a word as god damn tragedy. But hey even Che Guevara, with his hatred of artists and love of killing and cross-the-board restrictions making him a model for the Bush Contingency, has his fans; I just don’t imagine anyone wearing Bush shirts without the words “Bush” and “Fuck” on them in reverse order. Somehow, some people still like Bush. But then I think Leonard Part Six is an incredibly underrated movie, daresay Cosby’s best, so to each his or her delusions.
While the world sits and waits nervously to see if Bush can think of any other ways to speedup the global discontent, we are left with burned in shadows of their glorious reign sutck on the ruined walls that adorn the world. In my own effete, liberal(ish), college educated, blue state born, africanistic, slightly anarchic, crass minded, snarling, hollowed echo way, I suppose my only regret is that I am physically and mentally unable to conjure a galactic middle finger large enough to give the Bush Regime a proper and grandiose send off, as I hope that they may be ultimately sent, to a post life tribunal where, just maybe, the realities of the Universe bias towards justice, and they can serve a well earned eternity with Reagan and Helms and their ilk in whatever fires of whatever Hell they are low enough to fall into.
In other words, fuck ‘em.
Let’s hope this will be the last I’ll have to write about them
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
-Ben Franklin