It's just like poison
I didn't have anything to do this summer except be depressed. What was I depressed about? A woman.
Turning in on myself and trying to fight and reason with my own mind, the whys and wherefores everything happened the way it did, wasn't doing it for me, I wasn't going anywhere.
Eventually the only way I could work out something anything, some part of what I was feeling was to turn it into creation.
My Kitchenwares
Apple, Black Walnut and Bird'sEye Maple
The full kitchen set
Black Walnut and bird's eye maple utensils hanging from a decorative bowl.
UtensilHangers
alternating black walnut and maple- in a deliberate attempt to mimic someone's style as a gift to her.
She would never let me make her anything to the best of my abilities for her, while I was dating her, so, after spending the better part of 2 or 3 weeks making a very specific gift that even matched her ideas on numerology, I left it where it was sure to not get wet, at her place while she was in Amsterdam for her birthday.
Today, 2 or 3 weeks later, I get a call from a former boss, who says that she found the gift, thought it was really nice, thinks that I am STALKING her??? WTF?? and wants to give it back.
I made those things out of thoughts of purest love, well, and, angst, and.. longing.. and.. unrequited love but hey-- it helped me to work out my feelings, to make something with that energy. I even wrote in a letter- "Judge me by my actions"- because I thought she would get it. Aren't women supposed to be the ones who understand feelings better?
No, I can't forget her but.... maybe she isn't who I thought she was.
Anyway, that really threw a kink into my whole day and mood. Wtf? I mean, how does something you think and... infuse.. with.. meaning? backfire like that?
O well.. I don't want them back. She can burn them, give them away or- put them in a box somewhere until she heals. Maybe she should ask Angel. Friends are there for a reason.
Anyway- that soured my mood for the whole day but yknow what? That's really her problem. I am dating someone else now, and she might not be the one, or she just might, I don't know, but she is pretty special and I'm going to at least try to do things right for once.
I have a date to get ready for.
Turning in on myself and trying to fight and reason with my own mind, the whys and wherefores everything happened the way it did, wasn't doing it for me, I wasn't going anywhere.
Eventually the only way I could work out something anything, some part of what I was feeling was to turn it into creation.
My Kitchenwares
Apple, Black Walnut and Bird'sEye Maple
The full kitchen set
Black Walnut and bird's eye maple utensils hanging from a decorative bowl.
UtensilHangers
alternating black walnut and maple- in a deliberate attempt to mimic someone's style as a gift to her.
She would never let me make her anything to the best of my abilities for her, while I was dating her, so, after spending the better part of 2 or 3 weeks making a very specific gift that even matched her ideas on numerology, I left it where it was sure to not get wet, at her place while she was in Amsterdam for her birthday.
Today, 2 or 3 weeks later, I get a call from a former boss, who says that she found the gift, thought it was really nice, thinks that I am STALKING her??? WTF?? and wants to give it back.
I made those things out of thoughts of purest love, well, and, angst, and.. longing.. and.. unrequited love but hey-- it helped me to work out my feelings, to make something with that energy. I even wrote in a letter- "Judge me by my actions"- because I thought she would get it. Aren't women supposed to be the ones who understand feelings better?
No, I can't forget her but.... maybe she isn't who I thought she was.
Anyway, that really threw a kink into my whole day and mood. Wtf? I mean, how does something you think and... infuse.. with.. meaning? backfire like that?
O well.. I don't want them back. She can burn them, give them away or- put them in a box somewhere until she heals. Maybe she should ask Angel. Friends are there for a reason.
Anyway- that soured my mood for the whole day but yknow what? That's really her problem. I am dating someone else now, and she might not be the one, or she just might, I don't know, but she is pretty special and I'm going to at least try to do things right for once.
I have a date to get ready for.