My broken heart

[atalie]

Vesna went to sleep for the last time on August 8 at 7:15 pm. She was on Marcus's lap, purring, and I got to kiss her and tell her how much she meant to me. It was the saddest moment of my life, but I felt at peace because she was happy at that moment, she was surrounded by love

Comments

[atalie]

You know what's funny, making the decision was the easiest part of everything. Vesna knew she was dying, _we_ just didn't know it. I even think that Eowyne (the other cat) knew too. We humans miss out a lot of cat communication, and now looking back I think she was getting ready for it. While she was still playful and loving this weekend, she had kind of stuck to one corner of the bathroom and just hung there for hours at a time. At the hospital, she was calm and loving, but she looked tired. She was purring when we put her on Marcus's lap and called the Vet. I just felt that she knew her body was giving up on her and she wanted to go.
What was really hard was accepting that she was gone. Once I found out that her heart was so badly damaged it was a no brainer that we wanted to euthanize her ( she would have had a painful death otherwise). I'm just really, really having a hard time accepting she is gone. She was happy and loving on Sunday, and deathly ill on Monday! It's just so hard to grasp that you know?
I'm still in that phase of mourning that I don't really quite believe she is dead, and expect her to come dashing from under the sheets and attack my toes.
I hope you wont have to face this for MANY MANY years!