(no subject)
In the words of Beck, "today has been a fucked up day". First off, I go to get money out of the bank and after I take 30 bucks out I'm left with the realization that I only have a buck left after that. And then, and this is a big and then, just about 15 minutes ago Eric informs us that he won't be back from school until 8:15 tomorrow and we need to be at our show ready to set up at 8:30 at the latest. Even worse, Nick totally forgot that we even had a show today and planned on doing his art final until 11:30 tomorrow. That just proves how reliable my own fucking band is. I told my friend Jeff a week ago to come up for this show to open up for us but it looks like I'll be calling him the day of the show to tell him to fuck it do to time restraints. We won't even make a single dollar because we'll probably end up playin for only an hour. Not only that, but I'm the person who's supposed to contact Tortilla Flats and tell them how retarded my band is. To sum it up, we've had a CD recorded for almost a year now, haven't even pressed or made copies, I sit in my room playing guitar for hours on end because we all of a sudden don't believe in practicing anymore, and the only people determined to do anything are Colin and I. I hope they get their heads out of their asses soon before I just give up completely. Practicing 3 times a week is all I fucking ask for. That's just 3 hours a week!!! That doesn't seem as impossible as it somehow has become. My tascam 4 track is broken which also pisses me off. There's nowhere in town that even fixes the damn thing. So I'm stuck with a Sony tape recorder that's usually used for business conferences to write songs about how the divorce still pisses me off, how I hate a certain someone for becoming a fake asshole who lies out of his ass (he used to be my goddamn best friend), and how life can repeatedly kick you in the ass without notice. All this shit is causing me to get more headaches than anyone could imagine and I think I'm actually going insane. School is hard enough to deal with but the band (well, at least one person) just continues to sit on his ass without a care in the world watching TV, playing video games, playing HIS goddamn guitar by himself all the time without practicing with the band or anything. We moved into this house together for a reason and I seem to be one of the only people who even remembers. There's alot of other crooked shit going through my head lately and I've considered going to a therapist because I seriously think life is getting to be really fucking stressful. But I'll probably just take the cheap route of writing songs about all of this bullshit that should never have to happen to anyone in their lifetime. Oh, we're also getting a dog next week. I would say that it's a good thing but considering our financial situations it'll probably die. I just want to record some shit on my 4 track and put up flyers for musicians willing to join a fucking band. I feel like the Uprising's on its last limb lately. Thankfully I still have Michelle (the greatest person alive) and alaska!'s records. Seriously, Michelle has been there for me soooooooo many times and has helped me through many a rough time. And anyone with a soul should listen to any two of alaska!'s CDs. Imaad's lyrics give life meaning so that I just don't give up. I wish he lived closer to here so he could help the band out. To sum it up: I'm broke, the band is pissing me off, and I'm probably going insane. Life is a bitch.