Fic: Peace at last: Jack/Jack and the team: R
Title: Peace at Last
Author: avon_09
Pairing: Jack/Jack, and the whole team
Disclaimer: The BBC owns them but tonight they played with me
Spoilers: Episodes 12 and 13
Rating: R
Summary: The thoughts running through Jack's head as he is betrayed..again. Please let me know if I got some of the programme details wrong.
There is wonder, there is loss, there is joy for some, there is betrayal- again, there is pain, so much pain and there is peace. But it doesn’t last.
I am sitting at the table, Tosh is holding my hand. I’m not sure whether she is trying to comfort or draw comfort from me. A lone Japanese woman in a crowd of second world war soldiers. Not an easy place to be. The primary focus of our attention however is across the dance hall.
The real Captain Jack Harkness is standing across the dance hall from me, having a drink with his men and trying so hard not to look at me. Captain Jack Harkness is going to die horribly tomorrow and there is nothing I can do about it. God he’s hot. The most amazing eyes. The man whose identity I stole all those years ago is standing across the room from me, with those wonderful eyes staring at me. He has moved away from his men. I can’t look up. Tosh gently squeezes my hand. I look up. The Captain is walking across the dance-floor towards me. I can hear the band playing in the background. He reaches for my hand, taking it out of Tosh’s so very gently. He is leading me to the dance-floor. My God what is he doing? This is 1941 not 2007. How is he going to face his men tomorrow? He’ll be arrested! Does it matter Jack? He’s going to die tomorrow anyway. We’ve reached the dance floor. He tenderly draws me into an embrace. We are dancing cheek to cheek. I can see out of the corner of my eyes that everyone has stopped dancing and are staring open mouthed at their Captain in a close embrace with a stranger in the centre of the dance floor. I don’t care. I want this moment to last an eternity. The me I’d always longed to be is holding me in his arms and living each moment as though it was his last.
A bright light. My God the Rift is open! I can hear Tosh yelling at me to come, beseeching me to go with her, they need me. Jack looks at me, I can see the pain in his eyes, because that pain is my pain. I’m going to stay! I have to go! He is going to die tomorrow! I could stop that, stop him going up in that plane. Save him, save myself. I open my mouth to tell Tosh to go without me and hear myself saying “I have to go. It’s my duty” Of course Jack nods. He’s an officer. He understands duty. His hands fall to his sides. I walk towards Tosh and the Rift. Yet I can’t go without him knowing what this short night in an eternal life has meant to a conman like me. I run back, cup his face with my hands and kiss him goodbye. We fit together perfectly. There is a lifetime of emotion in this kiss. There is nothing sexual about this, just two men giving and taking comfort for one brief moment.
We part. I walk into the Rift, my heart aching with loss. I turn round. Captain Jack is staring after me. As the rest of the dancehall fades away he salutes me. I’m a better man for meeting Captain Jack Harkness.
***********************************************************************
2007, a dirty, derelict dancehall. The plushness of 1941 given way to a dank, rat infested building. We step out into the daylight. Gwen virtually launches herself at Tosh and me, joy lighting up her face. You can see the relief in Tosh’s face to be back in her own time. And I can understand that. Except when you’re a man out of time everywhere and nowhere is home.
Now I’m going to have to deal with the rift being opened even briefly. They’ve broken every rule I’ve laid down and God only knows what has been let through even in that brief time. Oh yes, I’m so full of joy to be back!
**********************************************************************
I open my eyes, consciousness returning after being shot by Owen. I am on the floor. I grab Gwen’s leg. They all jump but even me returning to life doesn’t make them pause. They are out of control. There is a feral look in their eyes. I can feel their emotions. Hell. I can taste their desperation like something vile in the back of my throat. Guilt! Wasn’t Bilis Manger clever? He’s seduced them with the one emotion these stupid apes are full of. They are full of guilt.
Look at Gwen, desperate to bring Rhys back to life. Sensible Gwen. Practical Gwen. So full of guilt because she’s been screwing Owen with Rhys waiting for her at home.
And Owen. Miserable, sarcastic bastard acting like a love-sick puppy chasing after a lost bone. He’s obviously forgotten Diane left him. Why would she be pleading for him to open the rift?
Ianto. Sweet, pathetic Ianto. Happy to shag me but one little plea from his dead cyber girl and his guilt overwhelms him. We could drown in the guilt in this room.
They’ve got what need to open the rift. Is this the end of the world? I should be grateful. Perhaps finally now I’ll be allowed to die.
Don’t be stupid Jack. They look at me, guilt and betrayal on their faces. How are you going to fix this, Jack? I don’t want to fix it! It’s your job, Jack. Save the world, sacrifice yourself…………again.
************************************************************************
There is pain, so much pain. I can feel it all the way from the tips of my fingers and toes. Red hot needles skewering through me, running through my veins. Being sucked out of me, life being sucked out of me and pouring into Abbadon.
There is screaming. I can hear screaming. Where is it coming from? Is it me? I am so tired. Will this pain never stop?
I can see nothing. There is only blackness. My body is exploding with pain. I can’t take any more.
The screaming has stopped. It is quiet. There is nothing left of me to take. I fall to my knees. I don’t know if Abbadon is still there. All I know is that I am finished. I have nothing left to give. I go willingly into the darkness.
I am at peace.
……but it doesn’t last.
Author: avon_09
Pairing: Jack/Jack, and the whole team
Disclaimer: The BBC owns them but tonight they played with me
Spoilers: Episodes 12 and 13
Rating: R
Summary: The thoughts running through Jack's head as he is betrayed..again. Please let me know if I got some of the programme details wrong.
There is wonder, there is loss, there is joy for some, there is betrayal- again, there is pain, so much pain and there is peace. But it doesn’t last.
I am sitting at the table, Tosh is holding my hand. I’m not sure whether she is trying to comfort or draw comfort from me. A lone Japanese woman in a crowd of second world war soldiers. Not an easy place to be. The primary focus of our attention however is across the dance hall.
The real Captain Jack Harkness is standing across the dance hall from me, having a drink with his men and trying so hard not to look at me. Captain Jack Harkness is going to die horribly tomorrow and there is nothing I can do about it. God he’s hot. The most amazing eyes. The man whose identity I stole all those years ago is standing across the room from me, with those wonderful eyes staring at me. He has moved away from his men. I can’t look up. Tosh gently squeezes my hand. I look up. The Captain is walking across the dance-floor towards me. I can hear the band playing in the background. He reaches for my hand, taking it out of Tosh’s so very gently. He is leading me to the dance-floor. My God what is he doing? This is 1941 not 2007. How is he going to face his men tomorrow? He’ll be arrested! Does it matter Jack? He’s going to die tomorrow anyway. We’ve reached the dance floor. He tenderly draws me into an embrace. We are dancing cheek to cheek. I can see out of the corner of my eyes that everyone has stopped dancing and are staring open mouthed at their Captain in a close embrace with a stranger in the centre of the dance floor. I don’t care. I want this moment to last an eternity. The me I’d always longed to be is holding me in his arms and living each moment as though it was his last.
A bright light. My God the Rift is open! I can hear Tosh yelling at me to come, beseeching me to go with her, they need me. Jack looks at me, I can see the pain in his eyes, because that pain is my pain. I’m going to stay! I have to go! He is going to die tomorrow! I could stop that, stop him going up in that plane. Save him, save myself. I open my mouth to tell Tosh to go without me and hear myself saying “I have to go. It’s my duty” Of course Jack nods. He’s an officer. He understands duty. His hands fall to his sides. I walk towards Tosh and the Rift. Yet I can’t go without him knowing what this short night in an eternal life has meant to a conman like me. I run back, cup his face with my hands and kiss him goodbye. We fit together perfectly. There is a lifetime of emotion in this kiss. There is nothing sexual about this, just two men giving and taking comfort for one brief moment.
We part. I walk into the Rift, my heart aching with loss. I turn round. Captain Jack is staring after me. As the rest of the dancehall fades away he salutes me. I’m a better man for meeting Captain Jack Harkness.
***********************************************************************
2007, a dirty, derelict dancehall. The plushness of 1941 given way to a dank, rat infested building. We step out into the daylight. Gwen virtually launches herself at Tosh and me, joy lighting up her face. You can see the relief in Tosh’s face to be back in her own time. And I can understand that. Except when you’re a man out of time everywhere and nowhere is home.
Now I’m going to have to deal with the rift being opened even briefly. They’ve broken every rule I’ve laid down and God only knows what has been let through even in that brief time. Oh yes, I’m so full of joy to be back!
**********************************************************************
I open my eyes, consciousness returning after being shot by Owen. I am on the floor. I grab Gwen’s leg. They all jump but even me returning to life doesn’t make them pause. They are out of control. There is a feral look in their eyes. I can feel their emotions. Hell. I can taste their desperation like something vile in the back of my throat. Guilt! Wasn’t Bilis Manger clever? He’s seduced them with the one emotion these stupid apes are full of. They are full of guilt.
Look at Gwen, desperate to bring Rhys back to life. Sensible Gwen. Practical Gwen. So full of guilt because she’s been screwing Owen with Rhys waiting for her at home.
And Owen. Miserable, sarcastic bastard acting like a love-sick puppy chasing after a lost bone. He’s obviously forgotten Diane left him. Why would she be pleading for him to open the rift?
Ianto. Sweet, pathetic Ianto. Happy to shag me but one little plea from his dead cyber girl and his guilt overwhelms him. We could drown in the guilt in this room.
They’ve got what need to open the rift. Is this the end of the world? I should be grateful. Perhaps finally now I’ll be allowed to die.
Don’t be stupid Jack. They look at me, guilt and betrayal on their faces. How are you going to fix this, Jack? I don’t want to fix it! It’s your job, Jack. Save the world, sacrifice yourself…………again.
************************************************************************
There is pain, so much pain. I can feel it all the way from the tips of my fingers and toes. Red hot needles skewering through me, running through my veins. Being sucked out of me, life being sucked out of me and pouring into Abbadon.
There is screaming. I can hear screaming. Where is it coming from? Is it me? I am so tired. Will this pain never stop?
I can see nothing. There is only blackness. My body is exploding with pain. I can’t take any more.
The screaming has stopped. It is quiet. There is nothing left of me to take. I fall to my knees. I don’t know if Abbadon is still there. All I know is that I am finished. I have nothing left to give. I go willingly into the darkness.
I am at peace.
……but it doesn’t last.