(no subject)
fine fine fucking fine. i'm taking out a school loan. ugh. i'll borrow the money and be thankful that it's there to be borrowed in the first place.
today i am tired of fighting against the idea and the reality of not being able to afford my school supplies to the point where i am behind in my work in my most important class of the semester, which is being taught by a professor that i regard as an ally and a possible future mentor for my work in photography. and i think i will be crushed if he stops being interested in my creative potential because i cannot get my act together enough to finance a duel purpose light meter.
the other thing is i just feel downright frustrated by the limitations of the tools that i am currently working with. i cannot make my sweet and aging minolta which I LOVE take medium format photos. that's just not what it does. i know i know. love what you have. make it work. blah blah blah. i'd make my own goddamn paintbrushes if i had to. out of my OWN HAIR!
gan says i might be too attached to my 4.0. *sigh*
he might be right.
not wanting to hear the subtlely manipulative inflection of disappointment in my fathers voice is not a good reason to study harder. i'll ask my therapist about this friday. her name is Leisl and i'm not sure about her.
ahh fuck it. garrumph.
today i am tired of fighting against the idea and the reality of not being able to afford my school supplies to the point where i am behind in my work in my most important class of the semester, which is being taught by a professor that i regard as an ally and a possible future mentor for my work in photography. and i think i will be crushed if he stops being interested in my creative potential because i cannot get my act together enough to finance a duel purpose light meter.
the other thing is i just feel downright frustrated by the limitations of the tools that i am currently working with. i cannot make my sweet and aging minolta which I LOVE take medium format photos. that's just not what it does. i know i know. love what you have. make it work. blah blah blah. i'd make my own goddamn paintbrushes if i had to. out of my OWN HAIR!
gan says i might be too attached to my 4.0. *sigh*
he might be right.
not wanting to hear the subtlely manipulative inflection of disappointment in my fathers voice is not a good reason to study harder. i'll ask my therapist about this friday. her name is Leisl and i'm not sure about her.
ahh fuck it. garrumph.