Rambling??

[aszy]

I don't think many people really know what what is going on in my life at the moment. In some ways it's painful people not knowing whats going on. But in other ways it's nice - people aren't constantly asking me if I'm alright, or if I want a chat. But then again I think I'm sometimes surrounded by people who unless I tell them I'm having a rubbish time won't know it either because they don't care enough to ask and actually get to know what is going on in my life, or because they are just self absorbed.

I would like to think that if people knew what kind of time I'm having they would be a bit nicer to me, and actualy would want to talk to me and spend some time with me, rather than practically ignoring me, or being sarcastic when what I actually need is a bit of understanding and/or support.

I'm not here to talk about the problems, because I think that's not really for public broadcast - but to maybe get the people around me to understand that I'm not spending all my time in my room to be rude. Also that I'm not talking to you to be a bitch. Both of these things, and everything else I'm doing is to try and stop myself falling apart - please don't think it's because I don't like you because I do but I don't think you really understand what I'm going through.

I'm not expecting you to understand or want to know what the problems are but some understanding as to my behaviour would be nice.

There is so much more I could say - but I don't think i should.