(no subject)
wow, i feel so insanely weird. i feel happy, but i feel like i'm missing something...but i don't knpow what it is.
i take things way too personally sometimes, and it's not good.
i can really have a bad attitude sometimes, and it's ridiculous, i apologize. i like to be in my fun mode wherei dance and sing and let go..but sometimes it's not as easy as i would like for it to be.
i think i'm always looking for "projects" people i can fix..situations i can manipulate. i don't want my friendships to be based on what i can "fix" but instead on something a tad bit more healthy, like the bible...on God. that is what i want my friendships to be based on. even the ones i have that are outside of the church..i want them to be centered around my love for God, i want that to be evident in my character. but i keep finding myself trapped in trying to fix people and it's exhausting and ridiculous. i need to come to terms with the fact that we are who we are and certain aspects will never change and i need to love people anyway..i need to love them for the right reasons...i think i'm just confusing myself with overthinking everything and lookign for meaning where there is non. man i need to stop.
i feel good, i do...i just feel like i can't explain what i'm thinking to myself and it's a rather uncomfortable feeling. i think i could use a friend right now, or an adventure that takes me away from my apartment. i will go with the latter. prayer time before work will be fabulous...there are pretty spots near wher i work so it will be an adventure to choose one.
i feel like i'm rambling....yah for that. oh i can't wait till tonight, im such a film nerd. but i don't mind so much...
i take things way too personally sometimes, and it's not good.
i can really have a bad attitude sometimes, and it's ridiculous, i apologize. i like to be in my fun mode wherei dance and sing and let go..but sometimes it's not as easy as i would like for it to be.
i think i'm always looking for "projects" people i can fix..situations i can manipulate. i don't want my friendships to be based on what i can "fix" but instead on something a tad bit more healthy, like the bible...on God. that is what i want my friendships to be based on. even the ones i have that are outside of the church..i want them to be centered around my love for God, i want that to be evident in my character. but i keep finding myself trapped in trying to fix people and it's exhausting and ridiculous. i need to come to terms with the fact that we are who we are and certain aspects will never change and i need to love people anyway..i need to love them for the right reasons...i think i'm just confusing myself with overthinking everything and lookign for meaning where there is non. man i need to stop.
i feel good, i do...i just feel like i can't explain what i'm thinking to myself and it's a rather uncomfortable feeling. i think i could use a friend right now, or an adventure that takes me away from my apartment. i will go with the latter. prayer time before work will be fabulous...there are pretty spots near wher i work so it will be an adventure to choose one.
i feel like i'm rambling....yah for that. oh i can't wait till tonight, im such a film nerd. but i don't mind so much...