Fail Radar
My dad has this amazing ability to innocently pinpoint my shortcomings and comment on them. For example, my to-do list for today: finish making hats, buy ribbon and chain for bell chokers, make and ship a rose choker, make bell chokers, deliver hats and bell chokers to Kristy, hunt down and purchase a specific type of paint, buy other random project supplies (don't wanna list all of them), photograph custom chokers and list them, do laundry, do a bit of cleaning/organizing
It's now about 6:00, and I still have plenty of time to do the last three things, but unfortunately I didn't have time to make the rose choker before I left this morning, and I ended up being gone longer than I planned... so I didn't have time to get the rose choker made and still get to the post office before it closed. Thus, that is the ONLY thing I specifically planned to do today that I didn't get done, or won't be able to still do tonight. And what does my dad ask the moment I walk in the door?
"Did you get done mailing things?"
*sigh* It doesn't help that the stupid thing is a little overdue because the post office was closed on Monday (so I figured I'd do it Tuesday), and then Tuesday was insanely chaotic and there was no way I could have possibly done it then. I can still make it tonight and mail it on my way to work tomorrow, but I feel bad having it delayed like that even though it's only a couple days. So it really frustrated me to have to anwer that question. To say aloud "No, I didn't get it done." when I was already scolding myself for it in my head. It makes it even more frustrating that he's not doing it on purpose. It's just chit-chat. I said I was running errands before I left, and that often includes going to the post office, so that's what he asked about when I got back.
I have a tendency to dwell on things that I consider failures. I pile them up until I feel overwhelmed by them, and then I don't know where to start when I decide to make changes. My own fail-sensing system is turned up so high that the added little bit my dad contributes kinda pushes me over the edge. I can't change my dad... he's set in his ways, and being a parent he will always feel he needs to comment on what I'm doing or what I should be doing. It's my own fixation on failure that has to change.
A big part of that is to stop failing at things in the first place. By that I mean changing the bad habits I have, like procrastinating and such. If I had just made that rose choker Monday, even though the post office was closed, I could have mailed it this morning. It's a small change that would have made a big difference today. I could have said "Yep, all done." in response to my dad's question and not felt frustrated at all. I also need to stop dwelling on things, and I'm not really sure how to do that. I guess I should try replacing the list of negative things I tend to run through in my head with a list of positive things. It seems so lame... making a list of reasons why I should feel good about myself... but I guess if that's what it takes to not be a stressed out, grumpy, crazy person, it's worth feeling lame over. Besides, the whole reason I'd be doing it is because I already feel lame anyway, so what have I got to lose?
It's now about 6:00, and I still have plenty of time to do the last three things, but unfortunately I didn't have time to make the rose choker before I left this morning, and I ended up being gone longer than I planned... so I didn't have time to get the rose choker made and still get to the post office before it closed. Thus, that is the ONLY thing I specifically planned to do today that I didn't get done, or won't be able to still do tonight. And what does my dad ask the moment I walk in the door?
"Did you get done mailing things?"
*sigh* It doesn't help that the stupid thing is a little overdue because the post office was closed on Monday (so I figured I'd do it Tuesday), and then Tuesday was insanely chaotic and there was no way I could have possibly done it then. I can still make it tonight and mail it on my way to work tomorrow, but I feel bad having it delayed like that even though it's only a couple days. So it really frustrated me to have to anwer that question. To say aloud "No, I didn't get it done." when I was already scolding myself for it in my head. It makes it even more frustrating that he's not doing it on purpose. It's just chit-chat. I said I was running errands before I left, and that often includes going to the post office, so that's what he asked about when I got back.
I have a tendency to dwell on things that I consider failures. I pile them up until I feel overwhelmed by them, and then I don't know where to start when I decide to make changes. My own fail-sensing system is turned up so high that the added little bit my dad contributes kinda pushes me over the edge. I can't change my dad... he's set in his ways, and being a parent he will always feel he needs to comment on what I'm doing or what I should be doing. It's my own fixation on failure that has to change.
A big part of that is to stop failing at things in the first place. By that I mean changing the bad habits I have, like procrastinating and such. If I had just made that rose choker Monday, even though the post office was closed, I could have mailed it this morning. It's a small change that would have made a big difference today. I could have said "Yep, all done." in response to my dad's question and not felt frustrated at all. I also need to stop dwelling on things, and I'm not really sure how to do that. I guess I should try replacing the list of negative things I tend to run through in my head with a list of positive things. It seems so lame... making a list of reasons why I should feel good about myself... but I guess if that's what it takes to not be a stressed out, grumpy, crazy person, it's worth feeling lame over. Besides, the whole reason I'd be doing it is because I already feel lame anyway, so what have I got to lose?