Notes from the Edge of Life

[asyonosh]

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,

Unicorns

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Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic



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Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

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Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

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Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..."
Just saying...

Sincerely,

Google

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Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black?
WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

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Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP

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Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

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Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

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Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

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Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol

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Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there
because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little
busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

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Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

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Dear iPhone,

Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.

You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

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Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up....

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

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Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,

Elephant