Three different emotions.
Luckily for me, my emotions have gotten far more complicated.
Stanley has left me for reasons best known to himself and God damn it! I need answers. Hopefully, I'll get them tomorrow because I am going mad.
First emotion...
The Buddhist part of me is telling me to just let it go. That human emotions are subject to transition and change, there is nothing I can do, so fuck it. That if his happiness requires us to not be in a relationship then I should just be cool with it, if you love someone you want them to be happy right?
Hanging onto all this negativity will just continue to make me unhappy, he's a really nice guy and was probably just doing what he thought was best.
Then I just get upset...
He is a really nice guy, I'm not scared of being alone by any means because I'm hilarious, have cool hair and make a fine curry.
But I just want him. He loved all my wierdnessess whereas others have put me down for it. He has a beautiful spirit and warmth, we were comfortable together and laughed together. There was a physical distance but we had a connection, man.
Then I get pissed off...
How could he just throw all of that away? He didn't even talk to me about any worries he had and just made decisions without even fucking consulting me. Even though it involves me and my fucking emotions!!!!
Rinse and repeat.
I can't sleep, I can barely eat, all these questions and words are just flying around my brain and nothing makes any sense. I don't know what to do, I'll be cool, then I'll get pissed off and upset and then cry for an hour.
This...is not cool. Tomorrow better yield satisfactory answers or I will attempt to shoot myself off into space and then live out the rest of my days there.
I know I can't do that but believe me, I really feel like doing that.
Stanley has left me for reasons best known to himself and God damn it! I need answers. Hopefully, I'll get them tomorrow because I am going mad.
First emotion...
The Buddhist part of me is telling me to just let it go. That human emotions are subject to transition and change, there is nothing I can do, so fuck it. That if his happiness requires us to not be in a relationship then I should just be cool with it, if you love someone you want them to be happy right?
Hanging onto all this negativity will just continue to make me unhappy, he's a really nice guy and was probably just doing what he thought was best.
Then I just get upset...
He is a really nice guy, I'm not scared of being alone by any means because I'm hilarious, have cool hair and make a fine curry.
But I just want him. He loved all my wierdnessess whereas others have put me down for it. He has a beautiful spirit and warmth, we were comfortable together and laughed together. There was a physical distance but we had a connection, man.
Then I get pissed off...
How could he just throw all of that away? He didn't even talk to me about any worries he had and just made decisions without even fucking consulting me. Even though it involves me and my fucking emotions!!!!
Rinse and repeat.
I can't sleep, I can barely eat, all these questions and words are just flying around my brain and nothing makes any sense. I don't know what to do, I'll be cool, then I'll get pissed off and upset and then cry for an hour.
This...is not cool. Tomorrow better yield satisfactory answers or I will attempt to shoot myself off into space and then live out the rest of my days there.
I know I can't do that but believe me, I really feel like doing that.