The Last Weight Loss Attempt I Will Never Make
Last night, I made the decision to dive in head first and try to lose some weight. I have no aspirations to be super skinny, just a little more toned and a little more shapely. A reasonable goal, I think!
Fortunately, I have a butt load of motivations mainly the fact that I have been fat all of my life and I'm kind of sick of it. For once I want to be comfortable in my own skin and not have to hide my fat all the time.
Unfortunately, I have Depression and it's easy for me to fall into a downward spiral of self hate and not be motivated to lose weight because my brain tells me no matter what I do, I will be a grotesque whale all my life and everyone is disgusted by me.
Nice!
So, this is gunna be an epic battle to stay motivated. Really fucking epic. So, I wrote a weight loss programme for each day and I HAVE! to complete each days activities whether I feel depressed or not, a lot of it includes one of my favourite things, belly dance! So a good shimmy or two every day should do me good. I also modeled it on my brother's regime, alternating between cardio and weight training. He did sports science at college, so hopefully his wisdom on the subject will aid me in getting results.
I also decided to cut out sugar and all that junk, hopefully a better diet will help my depression as well. It fucking better.
So, it's all planned and ready to go. If it doesn't work, I will be very fucking unhappy and just resign myself to a life of fatness. *sigh* I sincerely hope not.
Fuck this entry...fucking weight loss. What bullshit! I don't need to lose any damn weight. This entry is retarded, Effects pedals, surreal/psychadelic art and Nyogtha (my band) help my depression.
Weight loss attempts always exacerbate my depression, not improve it. I eat fine! A lot of fruit and veg, a lot of lentils and a fuck ton of coffee will do me fine, thank you very much.
Oh no! I'm a size 14/16! How terrible! The world is going to come crashing down on me and shit.
Jesus.
Fortunately, I have a butt load of motivations mainly the fact that I have been fat all of my life and I'm kind of sick of it. For once I want to be comfortable in my own skin and not have to hide my fat all the time.
Unfortunately, I have Depression and it's easy for me to fall into a downward spiral of self hate and not be motivated to lose weight because my brain tells me no matter what I do, I will be a grotesque whale all my life and everyone is disgusted by me.
Nice!
So, this is gunna be an epic battle to stay motivated. Really fucking epic. So, I wrote a weight loss programme for each day and I HAVE! to complete each days activities whether I feel depressed or not, a lot of it includes one of my favourite things, belly dance! So a good shimmy or two every day should do me good. I also modeled it on my brother's regime, alternating between cardio and weight training. He did sports science at college, so hopefully his wisdom on the subject will aid me in getting results.
I also decided to cut out sugar and all that junk, hopefully a better diet will help my depression as well. It fucking better.
So, it's all planned and ready to go. If it doesn't work, I will be very fucking unhappy and just resign myself to a life of fatness. *sigh* I sincerely hope not.
Fuck this entry...fucking weight loss. What bullshit! I don't need to lose any damn weight. This entry is retarded, Effects pedals, surreal/psychadelic art and Nyogtha (my band) help my depression.
Weight loss attempts always exacerbate my depression, not improve it. I eat fine! A lot of fruit and veg, a lot of lentils and a fuck ton of coffee will do me fine, thank you very much.
Oh no! I'm a size 14/16! How terrible! The world is going to come crashing down on me and shit.
Jesus.