Finally...
At last. No, not that my love has come home or anything like the song. At last, I AM FINALLY ENROLLED IN COLLEGE! I'm, like crazy happy right now. You know, the really good kind of crazy I rarely get to be anymore. I don't even know where my weight is today, and for once, I just don't care because even if I gained a pound, it won't dent the sense of accomplishment I just felt when I got off the phone with my school counselor after hearing I was really really starting Feb. 9. My associates degree will take 20 months to complete, and will be in Medical Records. Now is that what I dreamed of doing when I was in high school--hell, even 2 or 3 years ago? Nope. I was trying for Graphic Artist, Computer Animation, even Fine Arts if I could get it. But reality (in the form of a really shitty economy) has set in and I know that my particular talents are not in high demand in the area I live. And in order to really be competitive, I would have to be the best of the best, AND I would have to move to a major metro/artsy center.
People have always called me a pessimist. I'll admit in the past, I could be a real downer sometimes, but all in all, I do have moments of clarity when both the heart and the mind are at agreement that the road I'm choosing is the best one at the time for me. And getting into the booming medical field doing something where I'll have limited dealings with patients (but I get to organize to my heart's content), is a wise decision. Sometimes, you choose your own road, and sometimes, it drags you towards it. This time, we are shaking hands and I'm kind of walking along (albeit cautiously), and seeing where it takes me. This sitting around, fearing the world and having nothing to show for my life is draining too much time and energy. At 30, I still have time to get things done, but I can't keep dawdling and hoping they fall in my lap. And the worry of being a failure is all-consuming. So, here I go.
I also have a job interview today for something temporary. Just to carry me over until I can find a more permanent position that I can work with. A job that will be understanding of my therapy appointments, but still will bring me home some extra money worth the gas it takes to get there. We'll see. I'm not going to worry about it until I absolutely have to.
I guess my obsession with my weight and the way I look kind of figures into this also. I want to be disciplined. And with working out and starting by focusing on just that goal at first, it's made me strengthen my resolve on others. Just one day at a time. I can do this...put one foot in front of the other, babe...
Peace out. ^__^
People have always called me a pessimist. I'll admit in the past, I could be a real downer sometimes, but all in all, I do have moments of clarity when both the heart and the mind are at agreement that the road I'm choosing is the best one at the time for me. And getting into the booming medical field doing something where I'll have limited dealings with patients (but I get to organize to my heart's content), is a wise decision. Sometimes, you choose your own road, and sometimes, it drags you towards it. This time, we are shaking hands and I'm kind of walking along (albeit cautiously), and seeing where it takes me. This sitting around, fearing the world and having nothing to show for my life is draining too much time and energy. At 30, I still have time to get things done, but I can't keep dawdling and hoping they fall in my lap. And the worry of being a failure is all-consuming. So, here I go.
I also have a job interview today for something temporary. Just to carry me over until I can find a more permanent position that I can work with. A job that will be understanding of my therapy appointments, but still will bring me home some extra money worth the gas it takes to get there. We'll see. I'm not going to worry about it until I absolutely have to.
I guess my obsession with my weight and the way I look kind of figures into this also. I want to be disciplined. And with working out and starting by focusing on just that goal at first, it's made me strengthen my resolve on others. Just one day at a time. I can do this...put one foot in front of the other, babe...
Peace out. ^__^