The Perfect [2/10]
Title: The Perfect
Author: Effy (asutex)
Rating: R
Warnings: language, sexual situations, homosexuality, abuse
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Glee. Otherwise we would see, well, continuity with the whole baby situation. Seems like everyone just sort of forgot about little Beth. Not to mention baby Beth would have two moms and a dad: Faberry and Puck... and Aunt(s) Brittana. Moving on.
Summary: To anyone else, it was just Rachel and Jesse. Rachel, the ignored beauty. Jesse, the arrogant dream man. Rachel Berry and her perfect boyfriend. The sight forced a frustrated sigh from Quinn's lips. She really hated Jesse.
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Every girl's 'first time' is imagined to be some surreal, fairy-tale moment. It's supposed to be full of pure passion and an endless supply of love. The boy is supposed to be Prince Charming in his shining armor, an ideal gentleman who thinks and cares for his lover during the intimate act that they engage in. It was supposed to work out as wonderful and amazing and to serve as an act of deepest affection and commitment.
Rachel gazed at the picture of Jesse taped just inside her locker on the door.
She had been naïve.
It hadn't been like that at all. There were no fireworks, no romantic background music, no warm feeling of completeness. It had been a bit rougher than she had expected, actually. Not that she had told Jesse that, but it had been so uncomfortable that it bordered on painful. Jesse had seemed so relaxed and pleased with himself after the act, almost as though it was something that he did all of the time. That was an unsettling thought. He had told her that he loved her, redressed and then departed with a sweet little goodbye.
That first time had been a while ago. She hadn't even felt ready for it. Jesse had managed to charm her into changing her mind and, looking back, she wished she had waited for a time when she was certain that she was prepared. It was fine, though. It really was. Why? It was okay because it had been an act of love. Rachel needed to jump at every opportunity to prove to Jesse that dating her was worth his time. She, Rachel, was worth his time.
After their first coupling, Jesse expected to be able to have her whenever the desire struck him. Rachel had had to dismiss her worries on the subject. After all, girls like Santana did this sort of thing all of the time. So, it wasn't a big deal, right? Besides, her sexual relations actually meant something and were not the result of alcohol consumption. She was Jesse's girl. Her body was his and his body was hers. That was how things worked. It was perfectly acceptable. Now, they had a fairly regular sex life.
Jesse had also suggested, subtly, that she should make some personal changes. He wanted her to dress differently. He believed that she should show off more skin. Rachel made sure to adjust her wardrobe accordingly. The argyle and animal-centric sweaters that plagued Jesse's existence suddenly found themselves stored in the back of the closet to gather dust. Although she had really liked those clothes, she would do anything to please Jesse. After all, clothes could be replaced, but Jesse couldn't be.
Rachel mechanically made her way through her classes. It had become a routine for her. Her grades weren't suffering, but she barely took notice of what her teachers were talking about. All of her time was spent worrying about Jesse. Was he in a good mood? Had his morning been pleasant? Was she annoying him again? Was there something she could do to make herself more appealing to him? Fierce anxiety had slunk into her mind and set-up residence. Rachel was always careful about how much she spoke around Jesse. He had admitted that her tendency to babble and lecture was unattractive. As a result, she tried to change it.
By no means did she want Jesse mad at her. Jesse, the dear boy, could have a temper that smoldered silently until he was alone with her. It came out whenever she annoyed him in some way. It wasn't his fault though. Rachel had fully accepted that she was responsible for angering him and that she drove him absolutely crazy sometimes. It was her fault when he became mad. Due to that, Rachel accepted whatever form of punishment that Jesse deemed appropriate for her sins because, after all, he was the one being kind enough to want to date her; he was risking his personal happiness to date Manhands Berry, RuPaul, Treasure Trail.
The careful application of make-up had become second nature to the diva. It wasn't like Jesse was actually doing anything wrong. He really wasn't. She just needed to cover up the discoloration of her skin in order to protect her boyfriend. If she didn't or if she messed up, then someone might blame Jesse and accuse him of a crime he hadn't even committed. In a worst case scenario, she could and would defend him and fully testify that he hadn't hurt her. Then again, no one would listen to her. No one gave a damn what 'Stubbles' had to say.
Rachel gently brushed a finger over a tender spot located just above her hip on the left side. It made her swear at herself for annoying sweet Jesse. He had just gotten fed-up with her idiocy that was all. There was no way that she could blame him for being so annoyed. After all, she had messed up a simple task. She had been going to make some coffee for him. It was easy, right? Apparently not for Rachel. Jesse had punished her, told her that she needed to learn and he was doing this for her own good; so that she could improve herself. Afterwards, Rachel had felt exceptionally incompetent for even the most basic of tasks. She resolved to be better. She just had to try harder.
The diva rolled her shoulders back, feeling a dull ache as they protested. It had been far worse after Jesse's steel grip a few days ago during the end of glee club. Again, it was her fault that it had happened. Rachel berated herself for pulling away from Jesse's kiss in the first place. He just wanted to show that he loved her. Unfortunately, Rachel was still overwhelmed by self-consciousness for kissing Jesse in front of Finn. She wasn't really in favor of public displays of affection.
Glee club was full of its normal youthful high energy. Everyone was busy chattering away to everyone else in the room. Tina sat close to Artie's wheelchair just in front of Mercedes and Kurt. That was predictable enough. Those four were almost inseparable. Mike and Matt were desperately trying their hardest to flirt with the Cheerios, Santana and Brittany. The lean, athletic blonde was smiling brightly, her clear blue eyes focused intently on Mike's face as he spoke.
Santana, it seemed, believed that if she didn't look at Matt, then he wasn't actually there. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, lips pressed into a narrow line and eyes narrowed slightly in Mike's direction. Something like jealousy passed over her face, but Rachel dismissed it as Puck slid to sit next to her. He was clearly trying to arrange a sexual encounter between them. She was only assuming that was the case because he kept his legs spread wide and insisted on making vulgar gestures. Matt, put out and ignored, tried to compete with Mike for Brittany's attention.
Rachel's eyes finally met those of Finn Hudson. He was sitting in the back row, alone and awkward looking. He gave a goofy smile and waved at her eagerly. The boy had yet to give up his hopeless pursuit for her affections. An arm slipped around her waist, pulling her close. Finn's face fell immediately, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. Rachel turned away to look up at her boyfriend, smiling happily. She opened her mouth to greet him but was cut off by Jesse's lips. For a minute, she just relaxed into the kiss and completely forgot where she was at the moment. When they broke apart, they could hear snickers and disgusted mutters but Jesse still just smiled down at her. Rachel blushed and mouthed her hello silently. Her boyfriend started to pull her away to sit down, but she felt eyes watching her. Automatically, she glanced up. Finn, she discovered, wasn't the only one watching her.
Quinn Fabray's perfect face displayed no revealing emotions. Instead, she looked simply appeared to be contemplative. How… odd. Rachel's face began to climb in temperature, cheeks burning violently.
Jesse noticed.
"Something wrong?" Even though his tone was light and steady, her heart raced anxiously.
"Nothing, Jesse." Rachel gave him a brilliant smile. He did not return it. Instead, his jaw tensed as he clenched his teeth for a moment, his eyes clouding with a familiar threat. He tried to follow what had been her line of sight. To her horror, his gaze locked onto Finn.
"We'll discuss this later."
Something in her expression must have changed because when she next glanced up, Quinn's brow was furrowed slightly, worry expressed in her eyes. It was only for a second. The moment that Quinn realized that she had been caught, her features fell back into their expression of thoughtful serenity. Hoping to alleviate any concerns, Rachel tentatively smiled and gave a small wave. Quinn did the unexpected. A confident smirk curled her lips as she gave a wave back. Rachel was thoroughly bewildered and immediately suspicious of the act. During rehearsal, she barely knew what she was doing. Her mind was focused on the consequences of her supposed crime.
"You were staring at Finn." His cutting tone almost made her cringe. They had gone straight up to her room after reaching her house. Her dads were both still at work and wouldn't be home until later.
"Finn? I wasn't staring at Finn, Jesse, I wasn't." She tried to explain herself, to set the record straight.
"I saw you, Rachel! Don't lie to me. Do you still have a thing for him? What, am I not enough for you?" Jesse was getting angrier than she had ever seen him before. That was a bad sign. A very bad sign.
"No, Jesse, I don't! I love you-" Her voice died in her throat as he towered over her, fists clenched. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut.
He was just trying to teach her.
It was okay because he loved her.
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If his absentee father had taught him nothing else, he had at least instilled in him the simple lesson that all women needed to be put in their place. Even in his earliest memories he remembered his father showing him exactly how to teach a woman a lesson. It was all for the best, he insisted, it was only to help her better herself. He had clapped his son proudly on the back, telling him that one day he would groom the perfect woman.
If Rachel stopped making so many mistakes and just learned the lessons he was trying to teach her, then he wouldn't have to do the things that he did. It wasn't difficult and her problems with comprehending such simples lessons made him angry. It made him furious. It wasn't his fault. If she would stop making stupid mistakes, he wouldn't have to touch her.
Until she stopped screwing up, he would just have to keep teaching her.
Author: Effy (asutex)
Rating: R
Warnings: language, sexual situations, homosexuality, abuse
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Glee. Otherwise we would see, well, continuity with the whole baby situation. Seems like everyone just sort of forgot about little Beth. Not to mention baby Beth would have two moms and a dad: Faberry and Puck... and Aunt(s) Brittana. Moving on.
Summary: To anyone else, it was just Rachel and Jesse. Rachel, the ignored beauty. Jesse, the arrogant dream man. Rachel Berry and her perfect boyfriend. The sight forced a frustrated sigh from Quinn's lips. She really hated Jesse.
-
-
-
Every girl's 'first time' is imagined to be some surreal, fairy-tale moment. It's supposed to be full of pure passion and an endless supply of love. The boy is supposed to be Prince Charming in his shining armor, an ideal gentleman who thinks and cares for his lover during the intimate act that they engage in. It was supposed to work out as wonderful and amazing and to serve as an act of deepest affection and commitment.
Rachel gazed at the picture of Jesse taped just inside her locker on the door.
She had been naïve.
It hadn't been like that at all. There were no fireworks, no romantic background music, no warm feeling of completeness. It had been a bit rougher than she had expected, actually. Not that she had told Jesse that, but it had been so uncomfortable that it bordered on painful. Jesse had seemed so relaxed and pleased with himself after the act, almost as though it was something that he did all of the time. That was an unsettling thought. He had told her that he loved her, redressed and then departed with a sweet little goodbye.
That first time had been a while ago. She hadn't even felt ready for it. Jesse had managed to charm her into changing her mind and, looking back, she wished she had waited for a time when she was certain that she was prepared. It was fine, though. It really was. Why? It was okay because it had been an act of love. Rachel needed to jump at every opportunity to prove to Jesse that dating her was worth his time. She, Rachel, was worth his time.
After their first coupling, Jesse expected to be able to have her whenever the desire struck him. Rachel had had to dismiss her worries on the subject. After all, girls like Santana did this sort of thing all of the time. So, it wasn't a big deal, right? Besides, her sexual relations actually meant something and were not the result of alcohol consumption. She was Jesse's girl. Her body was his and his body was hers. That was how things worked. It was perfectly acceptable. Now, they had a fairly regular sex life.
Jesse had also suggested, subtly, that she should make some personal changes. He wanted her to dress differently. He believed that she should show off more skin. Rachel made sure to adjust her wardrobe accordingly. The argyle and animal-centric sweaters that plagued Jesse's existence suddenly found themselves stored in the back of the closet to gather dust. Although she had really liked those clothes, she would do anything to please Jesse. After all, clothes could be replaced, but Jesse couldn't be.
Rachel mechanically made her way through her classes. It had become a routine for her. Her grades weren't suffering, but she barely took notice of what her teachers were talking about. All of her time was spent worrying about Jesse. Was he in a good mood? Had his morning been pleasant? Was she annoying him again? Was there something she could do to make herself more appealing to him? Fierce anxiety had slunk into her mind and set-up residence. Rachel was always careful about how much she spoke around Jesse. He had admitted that her tendency to babble and lecture was unattractive. As a result, she tried to change it.
By no means did she want Jesse mad at her. Jesse, the dear boy, could have a temper that smoldered silently until he was alone with her. It came out whenever she annoyed him in some way. It wasn't his fault though. Rachel had fully accepted that she was responsible for angering him and that she drove him absolutely crazy sometimes. It was her fault when he became mad. Due to that, Rachel accepted whatever form of punishment that Jesse deemed appropriate for her sins because, after all, he was the one being kind enough to want to date her; he was risking his personal happiness to date Manhands Berry, RuPaul, Treasure Trail.
The careful application of make-up had become second nature to the diva. It wasn't like Jesse was actually doing anything wrong. He really wasn't. She just needed to cover up the discoloration of her skin in order to protect her boyfriend. If she didn't or if she messed up, then someone might blame Jesse and accuse him of a crime he hadn't even committed. In a worst case scenario, she could and would defend him and fully testify that he hadn't hurt her. Then again, no one would listen to her. No one gave a damn what 'Stubbles' had to say.
Rachel gently brushed a finger over a tender spot located just above her hip on the left side. It made her swear at herself for annoying sweet Jesse. He had just gotten fed-up with her idiocy that was all. There was no way that she could blame him for being so annoyed. After all, she had messed up a simple task. She had been going to make some coffee for him. It was easy, right? Apparently not for Rachel. Jesse had punished her, told her that she needed to learn and he was doing this for her own good; so that she could improve herself. Afterwards, Rachel had felt exceptionally incompetent for even the most basic of tasks. She resolved to be better. She just had to try harder.
The diva rolled her shoulders back, feeling a dull ache as they protested. It had been far worse after Jesse's steel grip a few days ago during the end of glee club. Again, it was her fault that it had happened. Rachel berated herself for pulling away from Jesse's kiss in the first place. He just wanted to show that he loved her. Unfortunately, Rachel was still overwhelmed by self-consciousness for kissing Jesse in front of Finn. She wasn't really in favor of public displays of affection.
Glee club was full of its normal youthful high energy. Everyone was busy chattering away to everyone else in the room. Tina sat close to Artie's wheelchair just in front of Mercedes and Kurt. That was predictable enough. Those four were almost inseparable. Mike and Matt were desperately trying their hardest to flirt with the Cheerios, Santana and Brittany. The lean, athletic blonde was smiling brightly, her clear blue eyes focused intently on Mike's face as he spoke.
Santana, it seemed, believed that if she didn't look at Matt, then he wasn't actually there. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, lips pressed into a narrow line and eyes narrowed slightly in Mike's direction. Something like jealousy passed over her face, but Rachel dismissed it as Puck slid to sit next to her. He was clearly trying to arrange a sexual encounter between them. She was only assuming that was the case because he kept his legs spread wide and insisted on making vulgar gestures. Matt, put out and ignored, tried to compete with Mike for Brittany's attention.
Rachel's eyes finally met those of Finn Hudson. He was sitting in the back row, alone and awkward looking. He gave a goofy smile and waved at her eagerly. The boy had yet to give up his hopeless pursuit for her affections. An arm slipped around her waist, pulling her close. Finn's face fell immediately, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. Rachel turned away to look up at her boyfriend, smiling happily. She opened her mouth to greet him but was cut off by Jesse's lips. For a minute, she just relaxed into the kiss and completely forgot where she was at the moment. When they broke apart, they could hear snickers and disgusted mutters but Jesse still just smiled down at her. Rachel blushed and mouthed her hello silently. Her boyfriend started to pull her away to sit down, but she felt eyes watching her. Automatically, she glanced up. Finn, she discovered, wasn't the only one watching her.
Quinn Fabray's perfect face displayed no revealing emotions. Instead, she looked simply appeared to be contemplative. How… odd. Rachel's face began to climb in temperature, cheeks burning violently.
Jesse noticed.
"Something wrong?" Even though his tone was light and steady, her heart raced anxiously.
"Nothing, Jesse." Rachel gave him a brilliant smile. He did not return it. Instead, his jaw tensed as he clenched his teeth for a moment, his eyes clouding with a familiar threat. He tried to follow what had been her line of sight. To her horror, his gaze locked onto Finn.
"We'll discuss this later."
Something in her expression must have changed because when she next glanced up, Quinn's brow was furrowed slightly, worry expressed in her eyes. It was only for a second. The moment that Quinn realized that she had been caught, her features fell back into their expression of thoughtful serenity. Hoping to alleviate any concerns, Rachel tentatively smiled and gave a small wave. Quinn did the unexpected. A confident smirk curled her lips as she gave a wave back. Rachel was thoroughly bewildered and immediately suspicious of the act. During rehearsal, she barely knew what she was doing. Her mind was focused on the consequences of her supposed crime.
"You were staring at Finn." His cutting tone almost made her cringe. They had gone straight up to her room after reaching her house. Her dads were both still at work and wouldn't be home until later.
"Finn? I wasn't staring at Finn, Jesse, I wasn't." She tried to explain herself, to set the record straight.
"I saw you, Rachel! Don't lie to me. Do you still have a thing for him? What, am I not enough for you?" Jesse was getting angrier than she had ever seen him before. That was a bad sign. A very bad sign.
"No, Jesse, I don't! I love you-" Her voice died in her throat as he towered over her, fists clenched. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut.
He was just trying to teach her.
It was okay because he loved her.
_____________
If his absentee father had taught him nothing else, he had at least instilled in him the simple lesson that all women needed to be put in their place. Even in his earliest memories he remembered his father showing him exactly how to teach a woman a lesson. It was all for the best, he insisted, it was only to help her better herself. He had clapped his son proudly on the back, telling him that one day he would groom the perfect woman.
If Rachel stopped making so many mistakes and just learned the lessons he was trying to teach her, then he wouldn't have to do the things that he did. It wasn't difficult and her problems with comprehending such simples lessons made him angry. It made him furious. It wasn't his fault. If she would stop making stupid mistakes, he wouldn't have to touch her.
Until she stopped screwing up, he would just have to keep teaching her.