(no subject)
It's gotten outta control. I know I'm not able to control my dreams but this feeling that my subconscious thought is starting to blend in with reality, makes me sometimes scared to sleep.
I really didn't sleep last night. This has nothing to do with the fact that I was in Las Vegas gambling, drinking, and celebrating after one of the most incredible concerts I'll ever see in my lifetime. It was like I was not able to separate what was real and what was not.
She is still in my head and I wish there was a pill I could take that would erase her from my memory. It's sad to think but I'd almost be willing to give up all the great memories I had with her so that I didn't have to deal with the pain that has been left in the aftermath. I'm convinced that four years after the fact, I should be over her. There shouldn't be re-occuring nightmares. There shouldn't be this overwhelming feeling that I am unable to ever trust another girl again.
I've shown in the past that I'm more than able to be caring, loving, trustworthy, and most of all happy. Suddenly I'm not sure what to do about my current state. I know that what I really want more than anything is be able to feel genuinely excited about another person much like I have in the past.
I really didn't sleep last night. This has nothing to do with the fact that I was in Las Vegas gambling, drinking, and celebrating after one of the most incredible concerts I'll ever see in my lifetime. It was like I was not able to separate what was real and what was not.
She is still in my head and I wish there was a pill I could take that would erase her from my memory. It's sad to think but I'd almost be willing to give up all the great memories I had with her so that I didn't have to deal with the pain that has been left in the aftermath. I'm convinced that four years after the fact, I should be over her. There shouldn't be re-occuring nightmares. There shouldn't be this overwhelming feeling that I am unable to ever trust another girl again.
I've shown in the past that I'm more than able to be caring, loving, trustworthy, and most of all happy. Suddenly I'm not sure what to do about my current state. I know that what I really want more than anything is be able to feel genuinely excited about another person much like I have in the past.