(no subject)
so i cant shake this feeling. no "love u", no heartfelt apology. I want to ask him what he expects me to do, how he expects me to handle it. i know this is the end. i was up crying 1/3 of the night.. the other two thrids i was wanting to throw up from the nauseous feeling of knowing what our talk today will be about. i'm going to request that he talk to me in person. i can hide my hurt in my voice, but i know my eyes have no bluffing abilities. i try to tell myself to keep my head up high and go through it with class, but i just want to beat up somebody and let them feel my pain that i feel on the inside. i'm all sorts of fucked up. my last pitch attempt at not gettng fucked over by a boy has backfired-and in the worst way.. because this one i really and truly cared about.