Smile...
I work customer service, so part of my job is to smile. Smile as people are nice to you, smile as people snarl, sneer, and give you dirty looks; I even have to smile even if I've had the shittiest day ever. Still... smiling. Smile it people are rude to you, smile as people scream and demean you.
I have people question why I'm "always so cheerful". Sometimes, I question it myself. I smile when people hit-on me; I smile as people scream at me and talk to me as if I don't know what I'm doing. I smile as old people scream at me over the phone and to my face because things aren't the way they were when they were young; I smile as old men scream and roll their eyes at me for not being barefoot and knocked-up in the kitchen-that I actually have to work to survive.
I put on a brave face as I watched my fiancé move across the country. I smiled as nobody would take my shift the day he left so that I could spend the day with him. I smiled as the airport shuttle picked him up and I went to work two hours later. I stopped smiling once that day. Just once.
I smiled as I moved into my own apartment. I smiled as I watched my roommate get smashed on two bottles of tequila and then got pissed off and trashed his room. I smiled the night that he invited people over and they did cocaine on my coffee table-I smiled as he demeaned me, calling me an "uptight bitch". I smiled the night he came into mine and Bryan's bedroom, drunk as a pig, and he started screaming in a drunken rage. I cried after he screamed in my face, and as Bryan held me as I did, he screamed back, asking him how he could make his fiancé cry.
I smiled as Bryan and I were separated once again when we were forced to move from our place in January. I smiled as I moved back into my parents' home... I smiled as I flew from Toronto to Calgary to Abbotsford to be reunited with my fiancé.
I smiled through my rape at the hands of my (ex-boyfriend.. I smiled as I took every last thrust as i pretended to enjoy i.. I only cried cleaning up in the shower. I smiled as I decided not to file charges; I smiled as he slandered and trashed my name all over the Internet. I smiled through it all.
I smiled through the joy, through the pain, through everything.
I still smile today.
Smile...
I have people question why I'm "always so cheerful". Sometimes, I question it myself. I smile when people hit-on me; I smile as people scream at me and talk to me as if I don't know what I'm doing. I smile as old people scream at me over the phone and to my face because things aren't the way they were when they were young; I smile as old men scream and roll their eyes at me for not being barefoot and knocked-up in the kitchen-that I actually have to work to survive.
I put on a brave face as I watched my fiancé move across the country. I smiled as nobody would take my shift the day he left so that I could spend the day with him. I smiled as the airport shuttle picked him up and I went to work two hours later. I stopped smiling once that day. Just once.
I smiled as I moved into my own apartment. I smiled as I watched my roommate get smashed on two bottles of tequila and then got pissed off and trashed his room. I smiled the night that he invited people over and they did cocaine on my coffee table-I smiled as he demeaned me, calling me an "uptight bitch". I smiled the night he came into mine and Bryan's bedroom, drunk as a pig, and he started screaming in a drunken rage. I cried after he screamed in my face, and as Bryan held me as I did, he screamed back, asking him how he could make his fiancé cry.
I smiled as Bryan and I were separated once again when we were forced to move from our place in January. I smiled as I moved back into my parents' home... I smiled as I flew from Toronto to Calgary to Abbotsford to be reunited with my fiancé.
I smiled through my rape at the hands of my (ex-boyfriend.. I smiled as I took every last thrust as i pretended to enjoy i.. I only cried cleaning up in the shower. I smiled as I decided not to file charges; I smiled as he slandered and trashed my name all over the Internet. I smiled through it all.
I smiled through the joy, through the pain, through everything.
I still smile today.
Smile...