(no subject)

[asuicidalullaby]

well i feel one hundred percent better after changing my major and dropping some terrible classes and taking some wonderful ones with professors who make me not want class to be over. on the other hand i feel really confused about other things; things like what is beginning to feel more like home. i never in a million years thought i would ever look at any other place besides long beach and consider it home, yet by the time i came back here i couldn't wait to leave long beach. even though i may not have found my exact niche of people here, i still actually feel happier and more comfortable here than i do at home. the only saving grace for me at home was sam; she is truly the definition of a best friend and even though she may be clinically psychotic or something i still don't know what i'd do without her. she alone made being home not completely miserable and as sad as it is, i'm dreading the next time i have to come home because this past month may have been the worst month out of the past 6. at least when i'm in albany someone is always down to hang out and i have so much indepence and a crew that actually hangs out who i have a really good time with. i don't know, it just feels weird to feel like i don't have much to go home to. maybe i was just a naive douche to think that i was an exception to the rule; that nothing would change because i thought the bonds were too strong. or maybe i'm just too optimistic about things like this because i guess i overestimated certain people.

anyhowwww, i'm about to go hang out with some silly kids and have me a gooooood night.