(no subject)
i have had a very bad day today. i am stressed out to the point of snapping. things with my family have gotten been steadly worse over the past couple of weeks. my sister is in big trouble, that i cant go into details about. my dad has gotten way worse and can barely move without help. my grandparents told him they werent going to take him out of the house anymore, which broke my heart. i cant even look at him without wanting to cry. i seriously hate my grandmother. i dont use that word lightly but i do. it seems like her main goal in life is to ruin everyone elses. every time i see her i want to punch her in the face. my mom has showed up out of nowhere trying to do all this stuff for me and my sister. i dont really know if i should trust her and get screwed over. also, every single on them keep calling me, telling me what the others have done wrong. stressing me out beyond what should be possible. me and billy have been fighting a lot this week. i think its mostly just because i have been on edge. i have been short with him, but its not entirely my fault. not that billy would ever admit that. it is so hard for me to talk to him about things that i just quit trying. he just dismisses whatever i say anyways.
i dont know if i have what it takes to be an art major. i am sucking it up in my drawing class and it is really frustrating. i dont like not being the best when i try my hardest. in high school i didnt get the best grades or i wasnt the best at volleyball but i didnt bother me because i didnt try that hard at it. but i am putting everything i have into art and coming up short. i am starting to make some friends in murray. i went out with gilbert last night and it helped get my mind off of everything for a little while. which helped a lot. it reminded me what i used to really like about myself. i just want everything to get back to how it was. when i went out with gilbert last night and met all those people i was witty and funny. i havent really felt like that in awhile. hopefully i will get the same effect when i go out tonight although i really just want to go to sleep. i think that it is important that i go out and meet some people instead of being cooped up in my room. its probably is what has been depressing me. so getting out on the town is just the medication that i need. i might go visit starr in nashville sometime soon when i get the money. i miss her and it would be a good chance to get away from everything.
i dont know if i have what it takes to be an art major. i am sucking it up in my drawing class and it is really frustrating. i dont like not being the best when i try my hardest. in high school i didnt get the best grades or i wasnt the best at volleyball but i didnt bother me because i didnt try that hard at it. but i am putting everything i have into art and coming up short. i am starting to make some friends in murray. i went out with gilbert last night and it helped get my mind off of everything for a little while. which helped a lot. it reminded me what i used to really like about myself. i just want everything to get back to how it was. when i went out with gilbert last night and met all those people i was witty and funny. i havent really felt like that in awhile. hopefully i will get the same effect when i go out tonight although i really just want to go to sleep. i think that it is important that i go out and meet some people instead of being cooped up in my room. its probably is what has been depressing me. so getting out on the town is just the medication that i need. i might go visit starr in nashville sometime soon when i get the money. i miss her and it would be a good chance to get away from everything.