Life gives you Lemonade
Friday night we went to my best friend's step-daughter's wedding. It was a small celebration in a little country-style place with the most incredible view of the city lights. My friend lives in Utah, so I don't get to see him and his family very often, so this was a special treat. One of his daughters is the same age as Gia, but they are all such beautiful, incredible girls. It's nice to see the family together, enjoying each other and enjoying family life.
Normally, this might be one of those times where I'm feeling very alone and sad...being the single-mom in a room full of happy families. But I was thankful for what I have. (Even if my daughter was SO embarrassed by me and made me feel horrible for wanting to dance the night away).
We were in the bathroom when we ran into my best friend's wife. She looked so pretty and proud in her "mother of the bride" dress. Then she told us about how Gia and I reminded her of how she used to be with her first daughter (the bride). The look in her eyes made me realize how lucky I am to have this opportunity to be so one-on-one with my girl...and to be able to have the incredible experiences only a single-mom and her daughter can have. I saw a tiny hint of sadness in her eyes because she knew that special bond was gone with her first born daughter. She seemed a little sad that anyone ever came between that, and that things changed. She cherished those days when it was just the two of them.
I got a big huge dose of lemonade on Friday night. I went home feeling really sad that I embarrassed my daughter and that she didn't want to "dance" (as in the song, "I hope you dance") like I wanted her to. But it was good that my friend's daughter that is the same age, was just as embarrassed of her dad as Gia was with me. I know that it was just their age.
But I am lucky. I have this super opportunity that many people don't get. Sure it sucks at times when I have nobody to lean on (especially now that my mom is gone), and sometimes I don't know how to handle her emotional outbursts that have no rhyme or reason. But I find accomplishments in every day challenges and feel like a winner every time we have a day laughing and smiling. We walked this morning down the walking path...and she told me how I should act if I ever go on Match.com again. It was kind of funny hearing her take on things. I soak it all in, and think about how she won't be a little girl for much longer. I must enjoy this as much as I can.
Oh, and how lucky am I that I have a daughter that enjoys dressing up for Halloween as much as I do? It got a little emotional when we were getting ready. Gia is as much of a perfectionist as I am...so she wasn't happy with her costume turn out. But once we got to the party...and everyone knew who she was....all was good. (Of course, nobody knew what my costume was. Boo hoo.) But it was Gia's year to shine. Last year, we were both Lady Gaga and my costume got a little more attention than hers. She was not happy about that.
Anyway....
When i'm gone I hope you see,
How happy she made me,
For i'll be there,
In my daughter's eyes
