Don't Bother Reading This. Really.
Sigh. I really cannot seem to stop my brain from going strange fannish places lately. Now it's insisting on dreaming up snippets of Sapphire and Steel/Venture Bros. crossover while I'm trying to, I dunno, do absolutely anything else. And, despite what I might have suggested in an earlier post, that's a really, really dumb idea. And yet, the ol' brain continues to kick up drivel along the lines of, oh, this...
SAPPHIRE: Don't you feel it, Steel? Here and here.
STEEL: Yes.
SAPPHIRE: Disturbances. Pressure.
STEEL: Yes...
SAPPHIRE: Pockets of time ebbing and flowing, interacting. Experiments... Old experiments, decades old, but with new parts, new components. Mismatched, but interacting.
DR. VENTURE [defensively]: OK, so I've been working on some of my dad's old inventions. All the good parts are mine! I've improved them, like, three thousand percent. [He pats some vaguely phallic looking object.] Why, this baby alone is going to earn me--
STEEL [talking over him]: Experiments in time, old and new. And when they come together...
SAPPHIRE: Yes! Time is breaking through. But it's not only that. There's something else. Echos and reflections, vibrating. Vibrating in time.
VENTURE: What the fuck are you people talking about?!
[Sapphire smiles at him, but doesn't answer. Steel ignores him and keeps poking at his stuff, not at all gently.]
VENTURE: Hey, did my brother put you up to this? I bet he did. Oh, he'd just love to get his teeny little hands on the rest of my stuff. Well, you can tell him--
[At this point, Dr. Orpheus enters, with a sting of dramatic music.]
VENTURE [sighing]: Great. As if the weirdo quotient wasn't high enough in here already.
ORPHEUS: My dear Dr. Venture! These "weirdos," as you call them, are no mere creatures of mortal flesh! Can you not see? These are entities of a higher order than mere human minds can comprehend! Profound agents of COSMIC HARMONY! MENDERS OF THE VERY FABRIC OF TIME ITSELF!
[Sapphire and Steel exchange raised-eyebrow looks.]
STEEL [telepathically]: And this is...?
SAPPHIRE [ditto]: Necromancer. Some real power there. Not very well controlled, though.
STEEL: Could it be him, do you think? Could he be responsible?
SAPPHIRE: Could be. I don't know. [She smiles brightly.] [to Orpheus] Yes. How do you do?
VENTURE: Oh, this is getting retarded. That's it, I'm calling Br--
[But Brock is suddenly standing right behind him, even though he wasn't there before. Sapphire and Steel exchange a glance, but nobody else notices.]
VENTURE: Oh, you're here.
BROCK: Yeah, I got your call. [He doesn't notice the confused look on Venture's face, because he is instead eying Steel with appraising interest.] Never kicked the ass of an agent of cosmic harmony before. Could be fun.
[Steel backs up a step. He somehow manages to look simultaneously alarmed and condescending.]
STEEL [telepathically]: Sapphire...?
[Sapphire laughs. Then she goes rigid and gasps.]
SAPPHIRE [telepathically]: Steel!
[Suddenly, the lights go out, and there are weird, spooky sound effects and stuff.]
VENTURE [with an annoyed groan]: Once, just once, I'd like to go an entire day without any freaky-ass crap happening to me!
And, sigh, just to prove how bad it is, that stupid snippet was much shorter when it was in my head, but once I started, of course I had to start filling things in. Well, maybe I've at least got it out of my system now. In hopes that that is, indeed, the case, I hereby return you to your regularly scheduled LJ reading.
SAPPHIRE: Don't you feel it, Steel? Here and here.
STEEL: Yes.
SAPPHIRE: Disturbances. Pressure.
STEEL: Yes...
SAPPHIRE: Pockets of time ebbing and flowing, interacting. Experiments... Old experiments, decades old, but with new parts, new components. Mismatched, but interacting.
DR. VENTURE [defensively]: OK, so I've been working on some of my dad's old inventions. All the good parts are mine! I've improved them, like, three thousand percent. [He pats some vaguely phallic looking object.] Why, this baby alone is going to earn me--
STEEL [talking over him]: Experiments in time, old and new. And when they come together...
SAPPHIRE: Yes! Time is breaking through. But it's not only that. There's something else. Echos and reflections, vibrating. Vibrating in time.
VENTURE: What the fuck are you people talking about?!
[Sapphire smiles at him, but doesn't answer. Steel ignores him and keeps poking at his stuff, not at all gently.]
VENTURE: Hey, did my brother put you up to this? I bet he did. Oh, he'd just love to get his teeny little hands on the rest of my stuff. Well, you can tell him--
[At this point, Dr. Orpheus enters, with a sting of dramatic music.]
VENTURE [sighing]: Great. As if the weirdo quotient wasn't high enough in here already.
ORPHEUS: My dear Dr. Venture! These "weirdos," as you call them, are no mere creatures of mortal flesh! Can you not see? These are entities of a higher order than mere human minds can comprehend! Profound agents of COSMIC HARMONY! MENDERS OF THE VERY FABRIC OF TIME ITSELF!
[Sapphire and Steel exchange raised-eyebrow looks.]
STEEL [telepathically]: And this is...?
SAPPHIRE [ditto]: Necromancer. Some real power there. Not very well controlled, though.
STEEL: Could it be him, do you think? Could he be responsible?
SAPPHIRE: Could be. I don't know. [She smiles brightly.] [to Orpheus] Yes. How do you do?
VENTURE: Oh, this is getting retarded. That's it, I'm calling Br--
[But Brock is suddenly standing right behind him, even though he wasn't there before. Sapphire and Steel exchange a glance, but nobody else notices.]
VENTURE: Oh, you're here.
BROCK: Yeah, I got your call. [He doesn't notice the confused look on Venture's face, because he is instead eying Steel with appraising interest.] Never kicked the ass of an agent of cosmic harmony before. Could be fun.
[Steel backs up a step. He somehow manages to look simultaneously alarmed and condescending.]
STEEL [telepathically]: Sapphire...?
[Sapphire laughs. Then she goes rigid and gasps.]
SAPPHIRE [telepathically]: Steel!
[Suddenly, the lights go out, and there are weird, spooky sound effects and stuff.]
VENTURE [with an annoyed groan]: Once, just once, I'd like to go an entire day without any freaky-ass crap happening to me!
And, sigh, just to prove how bad it is, that stupid snippet was much shorter when it was in my head, but once I started, of course I had to start filling things in. Well, maybe I've at least got it out of my system now. In hopes that that is, indeed, the case, I hereby return you to your regularly scheduled LJ reading.