On Hallowed Ground Part 2
“How’s the redhead?” Lexie asked.
Alex shrugged. “That was last week.”
“Seriously?” she said, shaking her head.
“What’s the big deal?” he shot back, reaching for a box of cereal.
“You can’t just go through women like that,” she said.
“Why not?” he pressed.
“Because eventually you’re going to have to grow up and settle down.”
“Says you.”
“You really don’t ever get tired of that?” she asked, taking a seat across from him at the table.
“No. Why do you care so much?” he added.
She took a sip of her coffee before answering. “Because I was one of those girls once or twice. Or three times.”
He laughed. “And what, you’re worried all those one night stands didn’t mean enough to me?”
She blushed. “Don’t be an ass.”
“You were always my favorite one night stand, Lexie Grey. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Gee thanks,” she said, rolling her eyes and nibbling on a piece of toast.
“Oh, you’re welcome. Not that you actually care, you’ve got that boyfriend to scratch all your itches now.”
“Yeah,” she said, taking another sip of coffee. “I do.”
“So maybe the two of us were just a detour on the way to wherever it is we’re supposed to be going.”
“So what, sleeping with a bunch of girls is your destiny?”
He smirked. “I prefer to think of it as a calling, but destiny works too.”
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“Are you happy?” Lexie asked, staring over at Jackson.
He frowned, tugging the blankets over their cooling bodies. “Sure. Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve just been thinking.”
“About my happiness?”
“About everyone’s happiness,” she answered, snuggling into his side. “About us making each other happy.”
“I make you happy?” he asked.
“You always did.”
“Not always.”
“Always,” she said. “We just…went in different directions or something.”
“That’s how you think of it?”
She shrugged. “I thought we agreed that the past is the past.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
She closed her eyes. “Do I make you happy?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You do.”
“Good,” she said, kissing him softly, fingers tracing his skin absently. “Do you think Alex is happy?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I guess. He seems happy anyway. Who wouldn’t be with his string of hot and cold running chicks?”
“Is that what you want?” she asked, rolling on top of him and looking down into his eyes.
“No,” he said. “I got it pretty good right here.”
She grinned, kissing him playfully. “Good answer.”
“I thought so,” he said, rubbing her back. “Happens to be the truth, too.”
She beamed at him. “Then that’s even better.”
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“I’m thinking about looking for a place of my own,” Alex mumbled around a mouthful of fries. “Want a roommate?”
“Oh please,” Cristina said, rolling her eyes. “I’d actually make you pay rent.”
“I pay rent,” he protested. “Sometimes. And I help out. I fix stuff.”
“Guess Lexie’s got someone else to work on her plumbing now, huh?” she asked with a smirk.
“Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes. “That’s now what this about.”
“Right,” she said. “You suddenly just decided to get over the Peter Pan thing and grow up.”
“Figured it was time,” he said with a shrug.
“You’re so full of crap,” she said.
“Whatever.”
“You’re all sad and lovesick.”
“Am not.”
“It’s really pathetic.”
“Shut up. I don’t love her. And I don’t care that she’s doing Avery.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s obvious.”
“Look,” he muttered, “I admit it’s weird, living with her and her boyfriend or whatever. I needed to grow up anyway, so this is just the kick in the ass I needed.”
“Please,” she said, rolling her eyes and stealing a handful of fries. “How many times have you tried to leave that place? And you always end up right back where you started. Isn’t that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?”
He shrugged. “I was always going to end up crazy anyway.”
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“Evil Spawn’s moving out,” Cristina announced that night, settling into a booth at Joe’s.
“Maybe,” Alex shrugged.
Meredith raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
“Maybe,” he repeated. “I have to find a place. Where’s the trailer?”
“Oh no,” she said, reaching for her drink. “No, no, because the last time you lived in the trailer you got it towed and I had to go and pay all of your parking tickets to get it back.”
“That was years ago,” he protested, grabbing a handful of peanuts shells.
“Find your own trailer,” she said firmly.
“Whatever.”
“He’s not going to move out anyway,” Cristina muttered. “You’ll have to burn the place down to get him out of there.”
“I moved out before,” he pointed out.
“And we all saw how long that lasted,” Cristina said with a satisfied smirk.
He shrugged, draining his beer.
“You shouldn’t leave Lexie all by herself anyway,” Meredith said.
“She’s not by herself,” he murmured.
“Which is why he’s moving out,” Cristina said. “Allegedly.”
“It is not,” he sighed. “I’m too old to crash on someone else’s couch forever. I’m a doctor. I should be respectable and adult or something.”
Cristina started to laugh. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
Meredith blinked. “You’re not really leaving, are you?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe.”
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“Are you moving out?”
Lexie had come slamming into the kitchen, rain soaked hair sticking to her cheeks, eyes wide, gesturing wildly the next day.
“What?” Alex mumbled, staring at the bottles of beer on the table in front of them, counting them again just to be sure.
“You’re gonna move back to the freaking trailer?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Meredith won’t let me.”
“What?” she demanded.
“Meredith said I can’t have the trailer,” he shrugged, pushing a bottle of beer towards her. “Why do you care?”
“Because you live here, with me, we live here together, and you…you want to move into a freaking trailer and leave me here and I have to hear about it from a nurse, probably another one you screwed.”
He blinked. “I’m sorry?”
She shook her head. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you moving out?”
“I’m not,” he said. “I mean…probably. I don’t know where I’d go.”
“Gee, thanks, it’s nice to know you’re sticking around because you’ve got no better options.”
“Whatever,” he said, taking a drink. “Why do you care anyway?”
“Because you’re going to leave me here all alone,” she muttered.
“Like you’re ever alone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
“Means I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re not exactly living a solitary life here.”
“This is not about Jackson.”
“It’s not?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “You and I…we stayed here, together, we live here, together. You can’t just leave me behind.”
She finally sank into the seat across from him, all the fight leaving her as she reached for the bottle.
“Okay?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
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“Lexie went crazy on me,” Alex muttered, kicking the leg of the gurney in the tunnels the following afternoon before sprawling out on it.
Cristina smirked. “What is it about you that just attracts that kind of thing?”
“Hell if I know,” he answered.
“Inappropriate,” Meredith sighed. “And you’re talking about my sister.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“What happened with Lexie?” she asked.
He shrugged. “She comes busting in and yelling at me about the freaking trailer.”
Meredith frowned. “What did she say?”
“Some crap about how I can’t leave her there alone. Which I wasn’t. And something about me screwing nurses. I don’t know, she said a lot.”
“Mmhmm,” Meredith murmured.
“This whole thing didn’t even have anything to do with her,” he continued. “I’m my own person and we’re not together and I can do whatever the hell I want.” He paused. “And I’m not going anywhere anyway.”
“At least you’re finally admitting it,” Cristina said. “It was kind of tiring having to act like you were.”
“Be nice,” Meredith said absently. “What did you say?”
“I told her I wasn’t going anywhere. We drank beer. I guess we’re over it or whatever.”
“You’re an idiot,” Cristina said, rolling her eyes. “Why are all men such idiots?”
“I’m right here, you know,” he said. “I can hear you.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like you’re going to listen anyway,” she quipped.
“I’m not an idiot. And I could move out if I wanted to. Maybe I will.” He frowned. “Someday.”
Cristina laughed. “Better ask Lexie if it’s okay first.”
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He found her in the kitchen, slicing something he couldn’t immediately identify, probably because it was leafy and green and he tried to avoid rabbit food whenever possible.
“I’m not leaving.”
Lexie glanced up at him and nodded. “Couldn’t find another trailer?”
Alex smirked, leaning against the counter, reaching over to open the fridge and pull out a beer. “Hard to find a landlord that wants to let you live someplace for free.”
“Poor baby,” she said playfully. “It’s a hard knock life.”
“You got right,” he said with a grin, offering her a beer.
She shook her head, turned her attention back to the cutting board. “Well I’m glad you’re stuck with me.”
“For now,” he said.
She tilted her head. “What’s that mean?”
“Come on, this thing with Avery, it’s going somewhere, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “We don’t really talk about it.”
He shrugged. “He’s a good guy.”
“Didn’t we already talk about you not turning into my big brother and giving me relationship advice?”
“You give me relationship advice,” he protested.
“Telling you to stop sleeping with a bunch of random chicks is not relationship advice,” she said, rolling her eyes.
He shrugged, tilting the bottle up. “It is if those are the only kinds of relationships you have.”
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He wasn’t sure how he ended up on the couch watching a freaking ballgame with Avery. But there was beer, which he figured made it okay, and it was kind of his couch, if you considered squatter’s rights. Which he did.
Lexie got held up at the hospital or something, he hadn’t really paid much attention to the explanation for why the one person who didn’t technically live with them was the one there when he got home.
They both looked up when Lexie came stomping in and blew past them, cabinet doors in the kitchen opening and slamming when she entered the room.
“I should probably check on her,” Jackson mumbled, pushing himself off of the couch.
Alex shrugged, draining a beer and turning his attention back to the television.
Jackson returned minutes later, a sheepish look on his face. “She doesn’t want to talk.”
Alex frowned, glancing behind him into the kitchen. “I’m kind of hungry.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you.”
Alex shrugged. “I’ve faced down scarier chicks than her before.” He padded into the kitchen, stopping to watch Lexie pull down random items and slam them onto the counter.
“What the hell’s your problem?” he finally asked.
She stiffened, fingers wrapping around the edge of the counter. “Why do you care?”
“You’re the one who keep saying we’re friends or whatever.”
She sighed. “It’s George’s birthday,” she whispered. “Today…today would have been George’s birthday.”
He paused. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “I just…it gets easier and then it doesn’t and…I’m sad, okay? I’m just really sad but there’s no time to be sad and there’s no time to miss anyone and today I just really miss my friend.” She finally turned, looking over at him. “And that’s why you can’t leave me, okay? Because you…you knew him, and you knew my mother and we have this history, you and me and you understand, and some days I just really need to be around someone who understands.”
He nodded. “Why don’t you tell Avery?”
“He has enough ghosts of his own,” she said quietly. “He doesn’t need mine too.”
He took a seat at the table, peeling at the label of his beer. “You want to talk about him?”
She offered him a watery smile. “You don’t have to do this.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything else to do.”
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“You’re doing Karev’s laundry,” Jackson noted a week later
Lexie shrugged. “It’s really like a health hazard, you know, it just sits around forever.”
He grinned. “He can’t do his own laundry?”
“Well, he can,” she admitted. “He just doesn’t.”
“You want to do my laundry?” he asked.
She grinned. “I think we both know what happens when I try to do your laundry.”
He nodded. “Why do you think I asked.”
She blushed. “Does it bother you?”
“That you’re doing Karev’s laundry?”
She shrugged.
“No,” he said. “I’m even gonna help you do it.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, walking over to her, pressing her against the washing machine.
“Hey,” she protested.
He turned her around and lifted her up, setting her down on top of it.
“This is helping?” she asked.
“Mmhmm,” he said. “I’m gonna help you with your delicates.”
“Oh, I bet you are.”
He kissed her playfully.
“Do you mind?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck. “That I live here with Alex?”
He shook his head. “You mind that I live with April?”
“No,” she said. “I get it. I just wonder sometimes what it says about…our future or whatever. Stupid girl stuff like that.”
His hands skimmed her body and he looked into her eyes. “I don’t really think about the future.”
“You don’t?” she asked.
He shook his head. “There’s no guarantee we’ve even got one, you know? I just figure…live the best here and now you can and worry about tomorrow when it gets here and here and now things are pretty damn good.”
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“We should get a dog or something,” Lexie murmured, pouring coffee in a mug and placing it on the counter a couple of mornings later.
“What?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I think it would be fun.”
“Dogs aren’t fun,” he said. “Ask your sister.”
“Meredith had a dog?”
He nodded. “She gave it to McDreamy and it died or something. She screwed her vet.”
“Wow,” she said.
“We’re not getting a dog,” he added.
“Okay,” she said.
“You could get fish or something,” he shrugged.
“I don’t want fish,” she said.
“You don’t have time for anything else,” he pointed out.
“You think it’s stupid.”
“I don’t get it,” he said. “I don’t get why, after taking care of people all day, you want to come home to something else to take care of.”
She smiled. “You’re never gonna have kids then, huh?”
“Having kids would require a relationship that lasted a little longer than mine usually do.”
“No, I’m pretty sure you can have kids going through life exactly the way you do.”
“Okay,” he countered, “but none of those chicks are gonna want me to play daddy. What’s with the interrogation anyway? You’re the one that runs the other direction any time someone mentions kids.”
“I want them someday,” she shrugged. “Just…not now.”
“With Avery?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t really…think about it.”
“But you think about dogs.”
“Not the same thing.”
“Just don’t go getting all baby crazy on me,” he said. “You may have convinced me to stay here, but I’m not looking to play nanny.”
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“He’s good,” Jackson noted, watching Lexie studying Alex in the OR below them the following week.
She nodded. “He’s one of the best.”
He laughed. “You sound like a fangirl.”
She blushed. “I just think he’s really talented.”
“You pay this much attention when I’m the one down there?”
She looked over at him. “Of course I do.”
“Good.”
“I like watching you work.”
“I’m glad,” he said as she turned her attention back to the surgery.
“We’re all geeks,” she pointed out. “This is like foreplay. Me watching you, it’s foreplay.”
“That’s pretty twisted.”
“Well, even I’m a little dark and twisty.”
“So, watching me massage somebody’s heart, that gets you all hot and bothered?” he asked.
She shrugged.
“And watching Karev with kids…”
“That just sounds wrong. And I’m not getting all hot and bothered over him. I’m admiring his talent.”
“Didn’t realize there was a difference.”
“If there wasn’t you’d be jumping Cristina’s bones,” she pointed out.
“I might have tried that once or twice,” he admitted.
“Before you settled for me?” she asked playfully.
“It’s not like that,” he said.
“I know,” she murmured. “It’s not like that with me and Alex either. I just like watching him work.”
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“Are we almost done here?”
Lexie glanced up from the stack of files to find her perky blonde intern watching her expectantly.
“Why?” she asked playfully. “Hot date?”
The girl shrugged. “You know that hot doctor in peds?”
“Alex? Uh, Dr. Karev?”
The blonde nodded.
“I do know him,” Lexie said with a smile. “We live together. We’re roommates. Kind of. We share a house.”
“Oh.”
“You’re going out with him?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“Congratulations. I mean…he’s a good date. He’s fun and uh, yeah, we’re basically done here,” Lexie said, glancing at the charts. “I can take care of the rest of it on my own. You should go. You should go and you should have a good time and you should tell Alex not to worry about me, because I’m staying at the hospital tonight, so you’ve got the place to yourselves. Not to be presumptuous about how your date is going to end or anything, just…in case things go well.”
The girl blinked. “Are you sure?”
“I am,” Lexie said with a smile so wide it made her face hurt. “I am absolutely sure. You have fun.”
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“What’s with you tonight?” Jackson asked.
“Nothing,” Lexie said.
He grinned. “This is not your nothing, you’re all tense and edgy and crap.”
“Alex is on a date with Katherine.”
He frowned.
“The resident, the perky blonde one,” she continued.
“Right. The one with the legs.”
She rolled her eyes. “I hadn’t noticed.”
He shrugged. “So Karev’s on a date. Wanna go home and do it on the kitchen table?”
She laughed. “I told him he could have the house to himself.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“She’s nice, Katherine. And she’s always on time and she doesn’t complain all the time and she’s not a total idiot.”
“That’s a ringing endorsement.”
She shook her head. “I just don’t want him to ruin her.”
“You’re the one that likes the guy,” he said. “Shouldn’t you have a little more faith in him than that?”
“It’s not about that,” she said.
“Are you jealous?”
“No,” she answered. “Are you?”
“Her legs aren’t that great,” he said with a smile.
“Mine are better?”
“Absolutely.”
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“How was your date?” Lexie murmured.
Alex shrugged.
“That’s it?” she asked.
“Figured if you wanted real details you would have come home last night,” he said with a smirk.
“That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting.”
“It was fine,” he laughed. “It’s kind of weird when you’re not around, you know?”
She grinned. “You missed me.”
“Did not.”
She shook her head. “Liar.”
“Hey, take that back.”
“Stop lying and I will,” she said playfully.
“I was on a date. Didn’t have time to miss you.”
She shrugged. “That’s not what it sounds like.”
“Whatever.”
She smiled. “Did you have a good time?”
“I always have a good time,” he answered, pushing his fries towards her.
“She’s nice.”
He frowned. “I guess.”
“She is. And she’s good, so don’t go and screw her up.”
“Guess I better dump her then,” he said.
“What?” she asked, staring at her.
“To keep from screwing her up,” he supplied.
“Alex, that’s not what I meant.”
He shook his head. “It’s kind of the truth though.”
“You don’t screw people up. You’re a good guy, and you deserve to be happy and you don’t have to be alone for the rest of your life.”
“Well that’s kind of how I always end up anyway.”
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“Do you love him?”
April asked the question casually between bites of her salad, poking at lettuce with her fork at lunch one day later that month.
“What?” Lexie asked.
“You and Jackson,” April shrugged. “I mean…he’s like…my best friend and you’re kind of my best friend too, and I just want the two of you to be happy.”
“I want that too,” Lexie said.
April nodded. “So you are in love with him?”
“I…” Lexie started, “this isn’t really the most appropriate lunch conversation.”
April frowned. “It’s not.”
“We’re happy,” Lexie said. “Doesn’t he seem happy?”
“Of course,” April said. “You both seem really happy, I don’t know why I asked, forget it.”
“How’s it going with that pharmacy rep?”
“Oh,” April blushed. “Uh, didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” April said. “Really, I’m okay.”
“You’re gonna be happy too, April.”
She sighed. “I hope so.”
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“We need to talk,” Lexie said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Jackson.
He frowned. “That’s never good.”
She smiled sadly. “I love you.”
He nodded. “I love you too. And now I’m confused about where this conversation is going.”
“I love you, and we’re good together, we’re good and we’re happy and it’s easy and so few things in my life are ever easy but I don’t think I’m in love with you,” she said softly. “And that breaks my heart because you’re so good to me and I like this so much and I could spend the rest of my life with you and we could be happy but I love you, and you’re one of my best friends and it would feel like we were both settling because I don’t think you’re in love with me either.”
“Lexie,” he said softly.
“You don’t have to say it to make me feel better,” she said. “And actually, I’d only end up feeling worse if you do.” She swallowed. “And promise me you won’t hate me forever because I can’t handle us not being friends.”
“It’s not me, it’s you?” he asked.
She nodded. “It’s all me, it’s so me and I’m sorry, oh my god, Jackson, I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Okay?”
“There is such an amazing girl out there somewhere and she’s going to love you so much,” she whispered.
“I hope so,” he shrugged, standing up and kissing her on the forehead. “And if you ever want to not be in love with someone again, or go to dinner with a bunch of old doctors, you’ll call me up, right?”
She laughed weakly. “So often you’ll be sick of me.”
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“Is sitting in the dark your new thing?” Alex asked, flipping on a lamp before flopping down on the couch next to Lexie.
She looked over at him and wiped her eyes, shaking her head. “Not today, Alex.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m an idiot.”
“No you’re not.”
She sighed. “Yeah, I am. I’m so stupid.” She paused. “Jackson and I broke up.”
“Want me to kick his ass?” he offered.
“It was me, I…I broke up with him.”
“Why?” he asked.
She shrugged, balling up a Kleenex and wiping her eyes. “I’m not in love with him so…I broke it off and it’s stupid, it’s so stupid because he’s such a nice guy, he’s a good guy and I apparently only fall in love with guys who kind of treat me like crap.”
He looked at his hands. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“I didn’t mean you,” she started.
“Yeah, you did,” he said. “And I deserve it.”
“You’re a good guy,” she said softly.
“Not really.”
“Alex.”
“Hey, come on, this isn’t even about me, it’s about you. And I’m sorry.”
She sniffled. “Yeah, me too.”
“You know,” he said, nudging her foot with his own, “we do have a certain pattern, when you break up with a boyfriend.”
She shook her head. “I’m too old and tired and sad to be another one of the girls you sleep with to convince yourself you’re not alone.”
He stared at her, speaking softly. “You are not just some girl.”
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Alex stood in the doorway to Lexie room, staring at her slumped in the middle of her bed.
“So you’re not going to work,” he said slowly.
She sat up, sighing and rubbing her eyes. “I called in.”
“So you can what, sit around and eat ice cream from the carton and feel sorry for yourself?”
She shrugged. “Why do you care?”
“Because I think it’s stupid.”
“Alex,” she sighed.
“No, come on, get your ass out of bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t judge you, you parade girls in and out of here and I don’t judge you.”
He laughed. “Yes you do.”
She frowned. “Okay, well, I’m sorry, and I’ll try to stop.”
“Don’t,” he said. “It’s good for me. I need you here, kicking my ass. I’m just returning the favor.”
“I need to be allowed to mourn the passing of my relationship.”
“Can you hear yourself?” he asked, walking into the room and pulling the curtains apart. “You sound like you’re in some freaking romance novel. Get up.”
“Alex.”
“No wallowing,” he said.
“Can’t you just give me this one day?”
“No,” he said. “Because one day becomes two days and then it’s a week and you’re lying on the bathroom floor and quitting your job and crap. It didn’t work out with Avery and I’m sorry, because he’s a nice guy and you deserve a nice guy, but you’re not gonna waste your life over it. So get up because we’re gonna be late and I’m going to tell everyone it’s your fault.”
She stared at him. “I don’t want to see him, I…I hurt him, and I’m sad, and it’s all going to be worse when I see him.”
He moved over to the edge of her bed and sat down. “I’ll make sure you don’t.”
“You’re gonna be busy with adorable sick children,” she protested. “You won’t have time to run interference with me.”
“Maybe I’ll find an adorable sick child you can help me with. That’d be fun, right?”
“Oh, sure,” she said, shaking her head. “Tons of fun, sounds great.”
“Get up.”
“Okay,” she said. “Fine, whatever, I’ll come with you.”
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“You want to get out of here?” Alex asked, leaning over the nurses’ station where Lexie was working. “Go to Joe’s and get a drink or something?”
“No,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “But thanks for asking.”
“Got big plans to go home and listen to sad songs and cry into your ice cream?” he asked.
“That sounds like a great idea,” she said. “Much better than going to drink all my problems away.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with that?”
She laughed. “Nothing. Perfectly healthy way of dealing with your problems.”
“You forgot about darts.”
“Darts,” she nodded. “That makes all the difference, sign me up.”
He grinned. “You can’t hide forever.”
“It’s been one day,” she protested.
“And I had to drag you out of bed this morning.”
“I remember.” She paused. “And thank you, I needed that. You’re a good friend.”
“Not really, but I’m trying. So let’s get out of here.”
“I’m not sure a bar is the best place for me right now. I’m not sure drinking in the best choice for me.”
“Because you won’t be able to resist falling into bed with me?” he asked.
“That’s a real possibility.”
“I’ve heard it’s possible to go to a bar and not get drunk,” he said.
“That’s weird,” she laughed.
“I know, but apparently it’s a thing some people like to do.”
She spun closer to him in her chair. “Tell me more.”
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“You know there are rules to this, right?” Lexie asked. “And like, points, a winner, a loser…”
Alex frowned. “That doesn’t seem like any fun.”
She shrugged. “I just figured a sportsman like yourself would want to play a real game,” she said, watching him throw a dart at the board.
“Right,” he said. “I just like being allowed to throw sharp, pointy objects.”
“Noted. And the wrestling…”
“Let me work out my aggression. Want me to show you sometime?”
“Oh, that sounds like a good idea. And also kind of makes me question what kind of wrestling you were doing.”
He shook his head. “Not funny,” he said, handing her the darts. “Your turn.”
“Oh, we’re taking turns?”
“Unless you want to stand there and watch me all night.”
She sipped her beer. “You were having a lot of fun.”
“I’m a fun guy.”
“I’m aware,” she said, slipping off her barstool and tossing a dart at the board.
“How many points is that?” he asked.
She wrinkled her nose. “Okay, confession time, I don’t actually know how to play darts.”
“Little Miss follow the rules doesn’t actually know how to follow the rules?” he asked with a grin.
She frowned. “At least I know there are rules,” she said.
“That makes all the difference?”
“Exactly,” she nodded.
“Good to know.”
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“Hey,” Lexie said, turning in the passenger seat of the car to face Alex, “thanks for tonight. And for today, for last night, for so many things.”
He shrugged, glancing over at her at a stoplight. “We’re friends, right?”
She nodded. “You’re a really good friend.”
“Look, I know it’s none of my business, but if you’re that upset about Avery, why don’t you just talk to him, try to work things out?”
She swallowed. “I don’t know, I mean…that’s my problem, really, you know, I can…I can break up with someone for all the right reasons, it can be really necessary for me, even but then I miss them, and I’m lonely so I start to get pulled back to them because I don’t like being alone.”
“You never did that when we broke up,” he pointed out.
“That’s because I was always so humiliated.”
“Come on, what I did was worse than knocking up Callie Torres?” he asked.
She shrugged. “You were always so distant afterwards,” she said softly tugging on a string on the sleeve of her jacket. “So thanks for that, you made it hard to repeat all my patterns.”
He grinned. “I did it for you.”
She laughed. “Well thank you.” She looked over at him again. “I loved you. When we were together, I loved you, you know that, right?”
He pulled into the driveway and turned in his seat to her. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”
“Good,” she said, nodding.
He leaned across the seats and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re not gonna be alone forever, Lexie. Don’t worry about that.”
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“I’ve got three days,” Cristina announced when Alex took a seat next to her in the cafeteria. “If you want to help me out.”
Alex blinked. “Three days for what?”
“Til you and Lexipedia start screwing each other again. You haven’t already, right?”
“No,” he said. “You’re betting on my sex life?”
She shrugged. “If you help me win I’ll buy you drinks.”
“You’re pimping me out now?” he asked.
“You’re gonna go there eventually anyway,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Might as well try to make a buck off of it.”
“We’re friends,” he said, biting into his sandwich. “That’s it.”
“I think it’s cute that you keep saying that like it means something.”
“I’m not gonna sleep with her.”
“Whatever.”
“I’m trying to be a good guy here,” he muttered. “I get that no one expects that from me, but I’m trying.”
Cristina tilted her head. “Are you in love with her?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he sighed.
“This whole noble, I’m not gonna touch her bullshit. You’re in love with her.”
“I’m not in love with anybody,” he protested.
She shook her head. “After all this time. Wow.”
“Shut up before someone hears you and actually believes you.”
She started to laugh. “Oh, yeah, cause that’s your biggest problem right now.”
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“You know there’s a pool going about when we’re going to sleep together again,” Alex announced, taking a seat at the counter while Lexie stood at the stove.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re not running this one right? I mean, you could attempt to change the results.”
“Attempt, huh?” he asked with a grin.
“Well, you’d have to convince me,” she shrugged.
“Right.”
“Plus you could just lie, I mean…how would anyone know?”
“All valid points,” he said. “And no, it’s not my thing.”
She shook her head. “I like that my life has been, like, reduced to a thing people bet on. That’s…that’s just great, really, just great.”
“Hey, come on, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said.
“No,” she said, “it’s not…I’m fine, really. I’m fine.”
He was silent for a minute before reaching out, grabbing an apple out of the bowl in the middle of the counter. “You hate apples,” he noted, watching her nose wrinkled in displeasure at the sound of him taking a bite.
“Took you long enough to notice.”
He shrugged. “I figured it out a long time ago. What I don’t get is why you keep buying them if you hate them so much.”
She frowned, turning to face him. “Because you like them,” she said simply.
He laughed. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, you’ve constantly got one, and why else would I buy them?”
“Right,” he said. “You’re a good friend. Pretty cool roommate too.”
“When I’m not cockblocking you?”
“Yeah, that’s not my favorite thing you’ve ever done.”
She smiled. “And Meredith thought we’d kill each other if we stayed here alone. Look at us now.”
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“Do you hate me?” April blurted out over salads in the cafeteria two weeks later.
Lexie looked up from her salad and frowned. “What? Why would I hate you?”
“Oh, I just mean Jackson, everything that happened…” April blushed. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I mean…you have to believe I didn’t know this would happen when we talked I…I didn’t mean it.”
“I know,” Lexie assured her quickly, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand. “I mean, you couldn’t possibly have predicted that asking me if I loved Jackson would lead to me breaking up with him.”
“I didn’t, and everything…I swear, Lexie, I never knew any of it was going to happen.”
“Any of what?” Lexie asked, frowning.
April blinked. “You…you haven’t heard…”
“Haven’t heard what?”
“I didn’t plan any of it.”
“April, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lexie said slowly.
“Jackson and I…we slept together. We’ve been sleeping together, I mean, just…just since you broke with him and I didn’t plan it and I didn’t even know it was going to happen until it did, you…you have to believe me, and please, don’t hate me.”
Lexie shook her head. “I don’t hate you.”
“It just kind of happened,” April said.
“Yeah, I know how that goes.” Lexie smiled softly. “He’s a good guy. Be good to him. And be happy.”
“Thank you,” April whispered.
“I mean it, April. Be happy.”
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“April’s sleeping with Jackson,” Lexie announced.
Alex frowned, reaching for a beer, pulling two bottles out of the fridge and pushing one into her hands. “Okay.”
“Bet there was no pool on that,” she muttered.
“There was one on who she was gonna lose her v-card to,” he said. “I was in the running for awhile.”
She shook her head. “You people are disgusting. And that’s just…insulting. And gross.”
“So you don’t want to hear about the one about how many chicks Sloan was gonna knock up before you finally kicked him to the curb for real?” he asked with a grin.
She glared at him.
“I might have made that one up,” he admitted.
“You’re such an ass sometimes,” she said even as she laughed.
“Only sometimes?”
She took a sip of her beer and looked over at him. “Yeah. Sometimes you can be pretty sweet.”
He shrugged. “Does it bother you? Avery and Kepner?”
“No. I mean, not really, it’s just…I’m happy for him. For them. Because I care about him so much and I want him to be happy but it just feels like I must be the easiest thing in the world to get over, I mean…no one misses me, and I’m not asking him to like, mourn the passing of our relationship or anything it’s just…weird to see how quickly you can be replaced.”
“That’s not true,” he mumbled. “You’re not…you’re not that easy to get over.”
“It’s not like you’re pining after me.”
He shrugged. “Who says I’m not?”
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“Alex said he was pining for me,” Lexie murmured. “But I mean…he was joking, right?”
“Was it a serious conversation?” Meredith asked slowly.
“I don’t know. Not really. We were talking about April and Jackson and me and Jackson and I think he just felt sorry for me or something, or maybe he was trying to make me laugh, I don’t know.” She paused. “But you know, because you know everything about Alex, so…if you could just clue me in…”
“Does it matter?” Meredith asked.
“What?” Lexie asked. “Of course it matters.”
“Why?” Meredith asked. “I mean, are you in love with him?”
“I’ve always loved him. That’s never been our problem.”
“Okay,” Meredith said, “so why does it matter? What does it change?”
“It matters,” Lexie said, “it…it matters to me, so just…help me out here. You’re my sister, come on.”
“I think if it’s that important you need to go and talk to Alex about it.”
“You’re my sister,” Lexie sighed. “You’re supposed to help me out with this kind of stuff.”
Meredith smiled. “Lexie, you and Alex are too complicated for me to figure out, and I don’t want to push you in the wrong direction. So just talk to him. You live in the same house, it shouldn’t be that hard.”
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“Smells good in here,” Alex murmured, stepping into the kitchen later that night.
Lexie shrugged. “Nothing special, just a little pasta.”
He nodded.
“Can I ask you something?” she said as he sat at the counter across from her.
“Sure,” he shrugged, taking the bottle of beer she pushed across to him.
“What happened to all your dates?”
“Huh?” he mumbled, taking a drink.
“You know, all those girls you had.”
“Maybe I started taking them to no tell motels out of respect for your whole emo post break up thing.”
“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head.
“Then maybe I realized you were right all along and I am too old to keep pulling the same crap.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked.
“Sure.”
She tilted her head. “I thought you were all about honesty.”
“Who says I’m not?” he asked.
“Why’d you say you were pining for me? Was that a joke or whatever?”
“Lexie,” he sighed.
“You know what, forget it. Too much emo post break up crap, I’m just being weird.”
“Why does it matter anyway?” he asked.
She shrugged, leaning across the counter and kissing him softly. “It just does,” she whispered.
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“Uh, I think your stuff’s on fire,” Alex mumbled when Lexie pulled back.
She turned to the stove, grabbing the pot and throwing it in the sink, turning the water on and the burner off and shaking her head.
“Crap,” she muttered.
“It’ll be okay,” he shrugged. “We can order pizza or something.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Okay,” he said. “Then what’s the point?”
“Do you like me?” she asked, spinning back to him.
“Of course I like you.”
“Not as a friend,” she said. “Not as a roommate, do you like me?”
“Lexie.”
“Because I’m in love with you, and I was always in love with you, but every time we try this…it’s so easy, you and me, that’s the joke, right? We just fall right into bed with each other because it’s easy, being with you is really freaking easy, but then your crazy ex-girlfriend shows up with a crazy fake baby or someone shoots you because of me and I end up the crazy one or…I kiss you and I almost burn the house down and maybe all of that is just a sign because you and me are some kind of harbinger of doom.”
He blinked. “Okay.”
“I’m such an idiot.”
“Lexie,” he sighed.
She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Everything.”
“I don’t know what you have to be sorry for,” he shrugged. “I’m the asshole that keeps breaking your heart.”
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“Lexie kissed me and then the house almost burned down and then she locked herself in her bedroom for the rest of the night and now she won’t talk to me,” Alex announced.
Cristina and Meredith both stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him.
“Dude,” Cristina said, laughing and shaking her head, “what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” he protested. “She started freaking out and said we’re like a harbinger of doom or something.” He paused. “I don’t even know what that means.”
“Nothing good,” Meredith assured him.
“Thanks, I actually figured that much out on my own,” he muttered. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“Well, that sort of depends on what you want,” Meredith murmured. “I mean, do you want to come out of this thing as Lexie’s trusty sidekick, her friend, her roommate or do you want something else?”
“He’s in love with her,” Cristina said. “Like a little teenage girl mooning over her, it’s really pathetic. Alex and Lexie sitting in a tree,” she sang, “k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”
“Shut up,” he sighed.
“Okay,” Meredith said, “then I think you need to convince Lexie that mashing your genitals together won’t bring about something horrible and it’s all just been a really crappy coincidence.”
“How do I do that?”
She frowned. “Good question.”
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“Can I come in?” Alex asked, knocking lightly on the open door to Lexie’s room.
She looked over at him and nodded.
He stepped inside, leaning against her dresser. “I used to think a lot of crap was my fault.”
“Like what?” she asked.
He shrugged. “What happened with my dad, what happened to my mom, Aaron.” He paused. “Rebecca, Izzie, you.”
She swallowed. “Alex.”
“I come into people’s lives and they get wrecked and it’s kind of hard to see that happen again and again and again and not start thinking it’s more than a really crappy coincidence, you know?”
She nodded slowly.
“I don’t think that you and I are a harbinger of doom. Though I can’t be sure because I still have no idea what the hell that means, but it’s not you, Lexie. If it’s anybody, it’s me.”
“I didn’t get all messed up because of you, that…maybe it’s my fault. Maybe it’s nobody’s fault.” She shrugged. “I don’t know anymore.”
“If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t blame you, but if you don’t want to do it because of some idea that we’re going to bring about the apocalypse or something…we’re not that powerful. I’m not responsible for what happens to everybody because it’s not all about me. And we’re not gonna create some major disaster. It might not end pretty, I’m still not sure I’m any good at that kind of thing, but that’s always the chance you take, right?”
She shrugged. “I guess.”
“And maybe the odds aren’t in our favor, because I mean, just look at our history, but you’re the one who says screw the odds, right?”
She sat up slowly, nodding again. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve been known to say that a time or two before.”
“So screw them. Let’s…give it one last shot, you and me.”
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“If we do this thing,” Lexie said softly, fingers nervously plucking at her sheets, “you and me, if we try this thing again, I’m going to want it to be something real.” She paused, looking over at Alex, shrugging. “I’m not saying you have to promise to love me forever but I’m too old to just screw around.”
“You’re not old,” he said with a grin.
She shook her head. “Then maybe my biological clocking is ticking or something because I know…I want kids someday, even if someday is years in the future and I want a house that’s more than some place we’re squatting and I want a life that’s more than just a holding pattern until something real comes along, and I know I’m probably scaring you off right now and I should just shut up, but I broke it off with Jackson because he wasn’t the one or whatever because…it wasn’t right or it wasn’t perfect or whatever and I can’t just fall back into this thing that we do, I need to know that if we do this it’s because I think it could go somewhere.”
“Okay,” he murmured.
“Okay?” she asked hesitantly.
He shrugged. “I don’t know what you and I are, Lexie, and I’m not sure we ever really got a chance to find out because there was always something in our way, but maybe if you’re too old to just keep screwing around then I am too, so…let’s give it a shot, see where it goes. No promises but whatever happens, you’ll never be just some girl I screw.”
She smiled. “That’s almost romantic, coming from you.”
He nodded. “That’s about as romantic as I get.”
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“Hey,” Jackson murmured, leaning on the nurses’ station next to Lexie the next day.
She smiled at him over the top of a file. “Hey.”
“April said the two of you talked.”
She nodded.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I broke up with you,” she pointed out.
“I know,” he said. “But I still care about you. We’re friends, we agreed on that, remember?”
“I remember. And I’m okay. I’m happy for you, for both of you, because I really, really want you to be happy.”
He nodded. “It’s new, so who knows how it’s going to turn out but…it’s good.”
“Good,” she said. “Alex and I are…we’re trying again.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. And I think…this is it, you know? Either we make it this time or we admit defeat.”
“Then good luck.”
She smiled. “You too.”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
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“So how exactly does this thing work?” Alex asked, staring at the plate of food Lexie had placed before him. “You and me?”
She started to laugh, sipping her beer. “You were married and you still don’t understand how relationships work?”
He shrugged. “Maybe that’s why I got divorced.”
She smiled. “Well…we date, I guess. We have sex and we hang out and we see where it goes.”
“That’s it?” he asked.
“Were you expecting me to demand a proposal or something?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess it just feels serious.”
“You’re already freaking out,” she said. “It’s like, day two.”
“Sorry.”
“Look, if you don’t want to do this…”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he said.
“What are you saying then?”
“Nothing. I’m saying I’m not good at this kind of thing, you know that.”
“What I know,” she murmured, “is that…it was nice, before, you and me, I mean…it never lasted, it never worked out exactly, but there were these moments that were so, so nice. And that’s what I want. I want to see, if there’s no Rebecca, no Izzie, no Mark, no shooting, no psych ward, if the two of us can be nice again. So stop freaking out. Man up, Karev.”
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“So?” Alex asked the next morning.
“So?” Lexie repeated, looking over at him.
He shrugged, kissing her bare shoulder. “Is it nice?”
She smiled. “Yeah, right now it’s very, very nice. You looking for some ego stroking here?”
“Nah, just…you wanted nice.”
“So you’re trying to give me nice?” she asked.
“I guess.”
“It’s been three days,” she said. “How much could we possibly screw things up in three days?”
“A whole hell of a lot.”
She closed her eyes, tugging on the blankets. “It’s nice. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worrying. I don’t worry. That’s your thing.”
“Okay, see, now you should stop talking.”
“And give you a freaking beer?” he asked with a grin.
“I’d settle for a kiss.”
He shook his head. “You’re lucky you’re hot because that was a cheesy freaking line.”
“I’m hot, huh?” she asked playfully.
“Mmhmm.”
“Then good for me. Now where’s my kiss?”
He tucked her hair behind her ears. “What if I want more than a kiss?”
“Then you just might be in luck, since we are in this nice big bed and all.”
“We should probably make good use of that.”
“Yeah, we really should.”
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“What are you thinking about?”
“Huh?” Lexie asked.
“Your face,” Alex said. “You shouldn’t play poker.”
She blushed. “I’m not thinking about anything.”
He laughed. “You’re a crappy, crappy liar.”
“Well, shouldn’t that just make me more attractive to you? Given your stance on lying and everything.”
“What are you thinking about?” he repeated.
“Maybe I don’t want to tell you,” she shrugged.
“Keeping secrets?”
“Yes,” she said. “Many, many secrets.”
He frowned. “Seriously, Lexie.”
“Seriously, I am still allowed to have my own thoughts.”
He tilted his head. “Was it sexy stuff?”
“Yes, I was just having the best little sex dream about running my hands through Derek’s hair.”
He shook his head. “That’s messed up.”
She laughed. “I’m glad you pushed me into telling you, maybe that’s what we should try. Some kind of all honesty all the time thing, where we just tell each other everything.”
“Nah, I don’t want to know any more about your kinky thoughts about McDreamy’s hair.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
She blinked, looking over at him. “I was thinking about how this could be our home, you know, if this…thing works between the two of us, it wouldn’t have to just always be this place where we’re squatting.” She shrugged. “But I’m sure that’s freaking you out, so I wasn’t ever going to say it.”
He stared at her and she smiled nervously.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I know…you’re not ready for any of that stuff and maybe you never will be and I’m not pushing here, that’s just…what I was thinking.”
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“I’m not gonna bail on this thing,” Alex said, walking into the kitchen and sitting at the counter.
“Okay,” Lexie said. “Good.”
“I may not be ready for love or marriage or any of that crap but, this thing, this you and me whatever, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t serious about giving us a shot.”
Lexie smiled. “Good,” she repeated. “I want that too.”
He nodded. “So I’m not gonna freak out and take off the second you start thinking it’s serious because we’ve tried that, you know, we’ve hooked up and said it’s nothing but it was never nothing, Lexie, you were never nothing, you were never just some girl, you…you stuck by me through some of the worst crap that ever happened to me and you forgave me for all my bullshit and you were good to me, Lexie, you’ve just been really, really good to me.”
She reached for a plate. “I love you, Alex, I’ve been in love with you for so long it’s just natural, like breathing, or rambling or eating when I get stressed, it’s a part of me. You’re a part of me, and if you took off tomorrow, you’d still be a part of me. I mean, I loved you after you dumped me in the psych ward, so I’m pretty sure I’m gonna love you forever.”
“I gave up screwing random girls for you,” he mumbled.
She laughed softly. “Well, that is quite the meaningful gesture.”
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“You know it’s almost our anniversary,” Lexie said, rolling onto her side.
Alex frowned. “We just started hooking up again. We have an anniversary?”
“I mean the house,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “You, me, living here.”
“Oh,” he said. “Right. That’s a thing?”
She laughed softly. “No. That’s just an observation.”
He blinked, reaching over to pull her closer. “You remember that party Mer had at the candle house?”
“Hmm, which one?” she murmured, snuggling into his side.
“The groundbreaking or whatever.”
She nodded. “Big hole in the ground, champagne from paper cups. Very classy.”
“You looked hot.”
She laughed. “Thank you.”
“No, seriously, I remember thinking you looked hot.”
“I remember thinking someone was going to fall into that freaking hole.”
“Probably April.”
“Be nice. April’s nice.”
“I am being nice, I’m just saying…if someone was going to fall in, it probably would have been her.”
Lexie closed her eyes. “We could have a party. I mean, we’re a thing now, or whatever, we could have like…a dinner party, we wouldn’t tell anyone it was our anniversary but we could do that.”
“I don’t really throw dinner parties. Or any other kind of parties.”
“Not even ones where people stand around holes and drink booze from paper cups?”
“Nah,” he said. “Though if I did throw one, it’d probably look like that.”
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“Hey,” Alex murmured.
“Hey,” Lexie mumbled.
“Nice dress.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
He shook his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be nice and polite and like, take a freaking compliment or something?”
“I know I look ridiculous.”
“Maybe a little overdressed,” he shrugged.
“I’ve never been to like…a groundbreaking party before. I don’t even think it’s a real thing.”
“I’m here for the free booze,” he said. “Plus I got money riding on someone falling in the hole.”
“That’s horrible,” she said.
He shrugged. “That mean you don’t want in?”
“I am not betting on someone falling in a hole, they could get hurt.”
“We’re doctors, I think we can probably handle it.”
She crossed her arms, shaking her head. “Good thing I changed my shoes.”
He grinned. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you fall.”
“What?” she asked, looking over at him.
He looked away, back at the hole where the house would stand some day. “I figure I owe you or whatever, so…”
“That’s…kind of sweet. Would you risk life and limb to save Mark, too?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t look as good in a dress as you do.”
“What do you think’s going to happen to us?” she asked. “You know, once Meredith moves out?”
“I don’t really believe she’s actually going to,” he said. “And if she does, it doesn’t really change anything, does it?”
“It’s her house.”
“Yeah, but she’s never going to give that thing up.”
“So what, it’s going to be you and me in that house when we’re seventy?”
“Yeah,” he said with a smirk. “And we’ll still be hooking up.”
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“Here,” Alex said, tossing a card and a bouquet of daisies on the counter in front of Lexie.
She smiled brightly. “Thank you.”
“For our anniversary or whatever,” he shrugged. “I bought them at a gas station. And you shouldn’t get used to this kind of thing, but I’m trying.”
She opened one of the kitchen cabinets and pulled out a vase, filling it with water and placing the flowers in it. “They’re beautiful.”
“I want this thing to work.”
“Me too,” she said. “It’d be awfully lonely here without you.”
“Who says I’m moving out if this thing goes south?” he asked.
“It’s my sister’s house.”
“Yeah, but she likes me.”
“You think she likes you more than me?” Lexie asked playfully.
“I’m sure mommy Meredith loves us all equally,” he said with a smirk. “Just in different ways.”
“Maybe we better just hope this thing works out,” she said, walking around the counter and wrapping her arms around his neck. “You know, for the sake of our precarious living situation and all.”
“I did buy you flowers.”
“I know,” she said. “Happy house anniversary or whatever,” she teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, tugging her closer. “Whatever.”
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“Do we really have to go to McDreamy’s freaking party?” Alex muttered, scowling at the dress shirt laid out on the bed.
“Yes,” Lexie answered. “He’s my brother-in-law.”
He shrugged. “Still not seeing what that has to do with me.”
“You’re my boyfriend.”
He shook his head. “I don’t like that word.”
“You prefer lover?” she asked playfully.
“Yeah, that’s much better.”
“Come with me,” she said, “and do this thing and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m gonna get something dirty if I do this?”
“We’ll see,” she said. “It is an awfully big house, lots of rooms, a person could disappear for a while without anyone even realizing they were gone.”
“You wanna do it in your sister’s bed? Cause that’s pretty kinky.”
Lexie laughed. “That might be going a little too far.”
“How much dirty do I get if I don’t wear a tie?”
“I don’t know, are we negotiating now?”
“I just like to know my options.”
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“You and Alex seem cozy,” Meredith murmured.
Lexie shrugged. “I told you, we’re trying again for real this time or whatever.”
“I know,” Meredith said with a smile. “I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, it’s good,” Lexie said, offering Alex a wave from across the room. “Things are good.”
“Good.”
“I should go back over there before he bolts or something. Not that your party isn’t great, because it is, it’s totally, totally great.”
“Totally,” Meredith echoed playfully.
Lexie blushed. “I’m just saying I’m having a really good time, you know?”
“Yeah,” Meredith said. “Got it.”
“Good,” Lexie said softly.
“Lexie?”
The younger woman turned to her.
“I’m happy for you,” Meredith repeated. “For you and Alex, I hope you make it work this time.”
Lexie smiled brightly. “Me too.”
She moved through the crowd of party guests back to Alex’s side, handing him a bottle of beer.
He grinned, taking a sip. “You know maybe this whole dating thing isn’t all bad,” he murmured. “It’s got at least a couple of advantages.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Like me being a waitress and all?”
“Uh huh,” he said. “You’re pretty useful.”
“You’re such an ass,” she teased.
“It’s not the only thing I like about you,” he shrugged.
“Oh yeah?” she asked. “What else?”
“You’re hot.”
She blushed. “Thank you.”
“Plus, you know, there’s other stuff.”
“That’s the best you can do? Other stuff?”
“You’re nice and whatever, I don’t know.” He paused. “I like you Lexie. I like a lot of stuff about you.”
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“I love you,” Lexie whispered. “I’ve loved you for so long.”
Alex looked down at her as she snuggled into his side. “You hinting at something there?”
“What?” she asked, looking up at him. “Oh, no,” she blushed. “No, I just thought you should know.”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean…”
“I’m not good at this kind of thing.”
“I know.”
“I loved you. Back…the shooting and all of that crap, I mean, I was in a really messed up place but I loved you. I was falling in love with you or whatever.”
Her eyes widened and she swallowed. “And now?”
“Aren’t you the one who says that kind of thing never really goes away. That you love me now because you never really stopped?”
“You’ve been in love with me all this time?”
He shrugged. “Don’t make it sound like I’m pining away like some sap in a crappy movie.”
“I happen to like those kinds of movies.”
He laughed softly. “Yeah, I bet you do.”
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“I love you or whatever,” Alex mumbled. “You know, if you need to hear it.”
Lexie smiled brightly, sitting on the couch next to him and curling into his side. “Thank you.”
He shrugged. “Whatever.”
“Stop trying to brush off what just happened,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder and draping an arm across his chest.
“You know I’m not any good at this crap.”
“I know. But you’re making an effort and that’s a good sign, I think that’s a really, really good sign.” She looked up at him. “I think we’re going to make it this time.”
“Because I’m all enlightened now and I talk about feelings and crap?”
She giggled. “Well, that is a good start. Sometimes I think that maybe everything had to happen, we had to go through all the crap that we went through so we’d end up here together, so we’d…get this.”
“You know I don’t believe in stuff like that, right?”
“Yes,” she said. “I know. I don’t even mind, but I do, or I do sometimes, and maybe it’s just nice to believe that everything happened for a reason, I don’t know.” She paused. “Or maybe it’s just third time’s a charm.”
Alex shrugged. “That was last week.”
“Seriously?” she said, shaking her head.
“What’s the big deal?” he shot back, reaching for a box of cereal.
“You can’t just go through women like that,” she said.
“Why not?” he pressed.
“Because eventually you’re going to have to grow up and settle down.”
“Says you.”
“You really don’t ever get tired of that?” she asked, taking a seat across from him at the table.
“No. Why do you care so much?” he added.
She took a sip of her coffee before answering. “Because I was one of those girls once or twice. Or three times.”
He laughed. “And what, you’re worried all those one night stands didn’t mean enough to me?”
She blushed. “Don’t be an ass.”
“You were always my favorite one night stand, Lexie Grey. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Gee thanks,” she said, rolling her eyes and nibbling on a piece of toast.
“Oh, you’re welcome. Not that you actually care, you’ve got that boyfriend to scratch all your itches now.”
“Yeah,” she said, taking another sip of coffee. “I do.”
“So maybe the two of us were just a detour on the way to wherever it is we’re supposed to be going.”
“So what, sleeping with a bunch of girls is your destiny?”
He smirked. “I prefer to think of it as a calling, but destiny works too.”
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“Are you happy?” Lexie asked, staring over at Jackson.
He frowned, tugging the blankets over their cooling bodies. “Sure. Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve just been thinking.”
“About my happiness?”
“About everyone’s happiness,” she answered, snuggling into his side. “About us making each other happy.”
“I make you happy?” he asked.
“You always did.”
“Not always.”
“Always,” she said. “We just…went in different directions or something.”
“That’s how you think of it?”
She shrugged. “I thought we agreed that the past is the past.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
She closed her eyes. “Do I make you happy?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You do.”
“Good,” she said, kissing him softly, fingers tracing his skin absently. “Do you think Alex is happy?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I guess. He seems happy anyway. Who wouldn’t be with his string of hot and cold running chicks?”
“Is that what you want?” she asked, rolling on top of him and looking down into his eyes.
“No,” he said. “I got it pretty good right here.”
She grinned, kissing him playfully. “Good answer.”
“I thought so,” he said, rubbing her back. “Happens to be the truth, too.”
She beamed at him. “Then that’s even better.”
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“I’m thinking about looking for a place of my own,” Alex mumbled around a mouthful of fries. “Want a roommate?”
“Oh please,” Cristina said, rolling her eyes. “I’d actually make you pay rent.”
“I pay rent,” he protested. “Sometimes. And I help out. I fix stuff.”
“Guess Lexie’s got someone else to work on her plumbing now, huh?” she asked with a smirk.
“Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes. “That’s now what this about.”
“Right,” she said. “You suddenly just decided to get over the Peter Pan thing and grow up.”
“Figured it was time,” he said with a shrug.
“You’re so full of crap,” she said.
“Whatever.”
“You’re all sad and lovesick.”
“Am not.”
“It’s really pathetic.”
“Shut up. I don’t love her. And I don’t care that she’s doing Avery.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s obvious.”
“Look,” he muttered, “I admit it’s weird, living with her and her boyfriend or whatever. I needed to grow up anyway, so this is just the kick in the ass I needed.”
“Please,” she said, rolling her eyes and stealing a handful of fries. “How many times have you tried to leave that place? And you always end up right back where you started. Isn’t that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?”
He shrugged. “I was always going to end up crazy anyway.”
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“Evil Spawn’s moving out,” Cristina announced that night, settling into a booth at Joe’s.
“Maybe,” Alex shrugged.
Meredith raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
“Maybe,” he repeated. “I have to find a place. Where’s the trailer?”
“Oh no,” she said, reaching for her drink. “No, no, because the last time you lived in the trailer you got it towed and I had to go and pay all of your parking tickets to get it back.”
“That was years ago,” he protested, grabbing a handful of peanuts shells.
“Find your own trailer,” she said firmly.
“Whatever.”
“He’s not going to move out anyway,” Cristina muttered. “You’ll have to burn the place down to get him out of there.”
“I moved out before,” he pointed out.
“And we all saw how long that lasted,” Cristina said with a satisfied smirk.
He shrugged, draining his beer.
“You shouldn’t leave Lexie all by herself anyway,” Meredith said.
“She’s not by herself,” he murmured.
“Which is why he’s moving out,” Cristina said. “Allegedly.”
“It is not,” he sighed. “I’m too old to crash on someone else’s couch forever. I’m a doctor. I should be respectable and adult or something.”
Cristina started to laugh. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
Meredith blinked. “You’re not really leaving, are you?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe.”
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“Are you moving out?”
Lexie had come slamming into the kitchen, rain soaked hair sticking to her cheeks, eyes wide, gesturing wildly the next day.
“What?” Alex mumbled, staring at the bottles of beer on the table in front of them, counting them again just to be sure.
“You’re gonna move back to the freaking trailer?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Meredith won’t let me.”
“What?” she demanded.
“Meredith said I can’t have the trailer,” he shrugged, pushing a bottle of beer towards her. “Why do you care?”
“Because you live here, with me, we live here together, and you…you want to move into a freaking trailer and leave me here and I have to hear about it from a nurse, probably another one you screwed.”
He blinked. “I’m sorry?”
She shook her head. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you moving out?”
“I’m not,” he said. “I mean…probably. I don’t know where I’d go.”
“Gee, thanks, it’s nice to know you’re sticking around because you’ve got no better options.”
“Whatever,” he said, taking a drink. “Why do you care anyway?”
“Because you’re going to leave me here all alone,” she muttered.
“Like you’re ever alone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
“Means I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re not exactly living a solitary life here.”
“This is not about Jackson.”
“It’s not?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “You and I…we stayed here, together, we live here, together. You can’t just leave me behind.”
She finally sank into the seat across from him, all the fight leaving her as she reached for the bottle.
“Okay?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
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“Lexie went crazy on me,” Alex muttered, kicking the leg of the gurney in the tunnels the following afternoon before sprawling out on it.
Cristina smirked. “What is it about you that just attracts that kind of thing?”
“Hell if I know,” he answered.
“Inappropriate,” Meredith sighed. “And you’re talking about my sister.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“What happened with Lexie?” she asked.
He shrugged. “She comes busting in and yelling at me about the freaking trailer.”
Meredith frowned. “What did she say?”
“Some crap about how I can’t leave her there alone. Which I wasn’t. And something about me screwing nurses. I don’t know, she said a lot.”
“Mmhmm,” Meredith murmured.
“This whole thing didn’t even have anything to do with her,” he continued. “I’m my own person and we’re not together and I can do whatever the hell I want.” He paused. “And I’m not going anywhere anyway.”
“At least you’re finally admitting it,” Cristina said. “It was kind of tiring having to act like you were.”
“Be nice,” Meredith said absently. “What did you say?”
“I told her I wasn’t going anywhere. We drank beer. I guess we’re over it or whatever.”
“You’re an idiot,” Cristina said, rolling her eyes. “Why are all men such idiots?”
“I’m right here, you know,” he said. “I can hear you.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like you’re going to listen anyway,” she quipped.
“I’m not an idiot. And I could move out if I wanted to. Maybe I will.” He frowned. “Someday.”
Cristina laughed. “Better ask Lexie if it’s okay first.”
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He found her in the kitchen, slicing something he couldn’t immediately identify, probably because it was leafy and green and he tried to avoid rabbit food whenever possible.
“I’m not leaving.”
Lexie glanced up at him and nodded. “Couldn’t find another trailer?”
Alex smirked, leaning against the counter, reaching over to open the fridge and pull out a beer. “Hard to find a landlord that wants to let you live someplace for free.”
“Poor baby,” she said playfully. “It’s a hard knock life.”
“You got right,” he said with a grin, offering her a beer.
She shook her head, turned her attention back to the cutting board. “Well I’m glad you’re stuck with me.”
“For now,” he said.
She tilted her head. “What’s that mean?”
“Come on, this thing with Avery, it’s going somewhere, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “We don’t really talk about it.”
He shrugged. “He’s a good guy.”
“Didn’t we already talk about you not turning into my big brother and giving me relationship advice?”
“You give me relationship advice,” he protested.
“Telling you to stop sleeping with a bunch of random chicks is not relationship advice,” she said, rolling her eyes.
He shrugged, tilting the bottle up. “It is if those are the only kinds of relationships you have.”
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He wasn’t sure how he ended up on the couch watching a freaking ballgame with Avery. But there was beer, which he figured made it okay, and it was kind of his couch, if you considered squatter’s rights. Which he did.
Lexie got held up at the hospital or something, he hadn’t really paid much attention to the explanation for why the one person who didn’t technically live with them was the one there when he got home.
They both looked up when Lexie came stomping in and blew past them, cabinet doors in the kitchen opening and slamming when she entered the room.
“I should probably check on her,” Jackson mumbled, pushing himself off of the couch.
Alex shrugged, draining a beer and turning his attention back to the television.
Jackson returned minutes later, a sheepish look on his face. “She doesn’t want to talk.”
Alex frowned, glancing behind him into the kitchen. “I’m kind of hungry.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you.”
Alex shrugged. “I’ve faced down scarier chicks than her before.” He padded into the kitchen, stopping to watch Lexie pull down random items and slam them onto the counter.
“What the hell’s your problem?” he finally asked.
She stiffened, fingers wrapping around the edge of the counter. “Why do you care?”
“You’re the one who keep saying we’re friends or whatever.”
She sighed. “It’s George’s birthday,” she whispered. “Today…today would have been George’s birthday.”
He paused. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “I just…it gets easier and then it doesn’t and…I’m sad, okay? I’m just really sad but there’s no time to be sad and there’s no time to miss anyone and today I just really miss my friend.” She finally turned, looking over at him. “And that’s why you can’t leave me, okay? Because you…you knew him, and you knew my mother and we have this history, you and me and you understand, and some days I just really need to be around someone who understands.”
He nodded. “Why don’t you tell Avery?”
“He has enough ghosts of his own,” she said quietly. “He doesn’t need mine too.”
He took a seat at the table, peeling at the label of his beer. “You want to talk about him?”
She offered him a watery smile. “You don’t have to do this.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything else to do.”
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“You’re doing Karev’s laundry,” Jackson noted a week later
Lexie shrugged. “It’s really like a health hazard, you know, it just sits around forever.”
He grinned. “He can’t do his own laundry?”
“Well, he can,” she admitted. “He just doesn’t.”
“You want to do my laundry?” he asked.
She grinned. “I think we both know what happens when I try to do your laundry.”
He nodded. “Why do you think I asked.”
She blushed. “Does it bother you?”
“That you’re doing Karev’s laundry?”
She shrugged.
“No,” he said. “I’m even gonna help you do it.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, walking over to her, pressing her against the washing machine.
“Hey,” she protested.
He turned her around and lifted her up, setting her down on top of it.
“This is helping?” she asked.
“Mmhmm,” he said. “I’m gonna help you with your delicates.”
“Oh, I bet you are.”
He kissed her playfully.
“Do you mind?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck. “That I live here with Alex?”
He shook his head. “You mind that I live with April?”
“No,” she said. “I get it. I just wonder sometimes what it says about…our future or whatever. Stupid girl stuff like that.”
His hands skimmed her body and he looked into her eyes. “I don’t really think about the future.”
“You don’t?” she asked.
He shook his head. “There’s no guarantee we’ve even got one, you know? I just figure…live the best here and now you can and worry about tomorrow when it gets here and here and now things are pretty damn good.”
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“We should get a dog or something,” Lexie murmured, pouring coffee in a mug and placing it on the counter a couple of mornings later.
“What?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I think it would be fun.”
“Dogs aren’t fun,” he said. “Ask your sister.”
“Meredith had a dog?”
He nodded. “She gave it to McDreamy and it died or something. She screwed her vet.”
“Wow,” she said.
“We’re not getting a dog,” he added.
“Okay,” she said.
“You could get fish or something,” he shrugged.
“I don’t want fish,” she said.
“You don’t have time for anything else,” he pointed out.
“You think it’s stupid.”
“I don’t get it,” he said. “I don’t get why, after taking care of people all day, you want to come home to something else to take care of.”
She smiled. “You’re never gonna have kids then, huh?”
“Having kids would require a relationship that lasted a little longer than mine usually do.”
“No, I’m pretty sure you can have kids going through life exactly the way you do.”
“Okay,” he countered, “but none of those chicks are gonna want me to play daddy. What’s with the interrogation anyway? You’re the one that runs the other direction any time someone mentions kids.”
“I want them someday,” she shrugged. “Just…not now.”
“With Avery?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t really…think about it.”
“But you think about dogs.”
“Not the same thing.”
“Just don’t go getting all baby crazy on me,” he said. “You may have convinced me to stay here, but I’m not looking to play nanny.”
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“He’s good,” Jackson noted, watching Lexie studying Alex in the OR below them the following week.
She nodded. “He’s one of the best.”
He laughed. “You sound like a fangirl.”
She blushed. “I just think he’s really talented.”
“You pay this much attention when I’m the one down there?”
She looked over at him. “Of course I do.”
“Good.”
“I like watching you work.”
“I’m glad,” he said as she turned her attention back to the surgery.
“We’re all geeks,” she pointed out. “This is like foreplay. Me watching you, it’s foreplay.”
“That’s pretty twisted.”
“Well, even I’m a little dark and twisty.”
“So, watching me massage somebody’s heart, that gets you all hot and bothered?” he asked.
She shrugged.
“And watching Karev with kids…”
“That just sounds wrong. And I’m not getting all hot and bothered over him. I’m admiring his talent.”
“Didn’t realize there was a difference.”
“If there wasn’t you’d be jumping Cristina’s bones,” she pointed out.
“I might have tried that once or twice,” he admitted.
“Before you settled for me?” she asked playfully.
“It’s not like that,” he said.
“I know,” she murmured. “It’s not like that with me and Alex either. I just like watching him work.”
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“Are we almost done here?”
Lexie glanced up from the stack of files to find her perky blonde intern watching her expectantly.
“Why?” she asked playfully. “Hot date?”
The girl shrugged. “You know that hot doctor in peds?”
“Alex? Uh, Dr. Karev?”
The blonde nodded.
“I do know him,” Lexie said with a smile. “We live together. We’re roommates. Kind of. We share a house.”
“Oh.”
“You’re going out with him?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“Congratulations. I mean…he’s a good date. He’s fun and uh, yeah, we’re basically done here,” Lexie said, glancing at the charts. “I can take care of the rest of it on my own. You should go. You should go and you should have a good time and you should tell Alex not to worry about me, because I’m staying at the hospital tonight, so you’ve got the place to yourselves. Not to be presumptuous about how your date is going to end or anything, just…in case things go well.”
The girl blinked. “Are you sure?”
“I am,” Lexie said with a smile so wide it made her face hurt. “I am absolutely sure. You have fun.”
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“What’s with you tonight?” Jackson asked.
“Nothing,” Lexie said.
He grinned. “This is not your nothing, you’re all tense and edgy and crap.”
“Alex is on a date with Katherine.”
He frowned.
“The resident, the perky blonde one,” she continued.
“Right. The one with the legs.”
She rolled her eyes. “I hadn’t noticed.”
He shrugged. “So Karev’s on a date. Wanna go home and do it on the kitchen table?”
She laughed. “I told him he could have the house to himself.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“She’s nice, Katherine. And she’s always on time and she doesn’t complain all the time and she’s not a total idiot.”
“That’s a ringing endorsement.”
She shook her head. “I just don’t want him to ruin her.”
“You’re the one that likes the guy,” he said. “Shouldn’t you have a little more faith in him than that?”
“It’s not about that,” she said.
“Are you jealous?”
“No,” she answered. “Are you?”
“Her legs aren’t that great,” he said with a smile.
“Mine are better?”
“Absolutely.”
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“How was your date?” Lexie murmured.
Alex shrugged.
“That’s it?” she asked.
“Figured if you wanted real details you would have come home last night,” he said with a smirk.
“That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting.”
“It was fine,” he laughed. “It’s kind of weird when you’re not around, you know?”
She grinned. “You missed me.”
“Did not.”
She shook her head. “Liar.”
“Hey, take that back.”
“Stop lying and I will,” she said playfully.
“I was on a date. Didn’t have time to miss you.”
She shrugged. “That’s not what it sounds like.”
“Whatever.”
She smiled. “Did you have a good time?”
“I always have a good time,” he answered, pushing his fries towards her.
“She’s nice.”
He frowned. “I guess.”
“She is. And she’s good, so don’t go and screw her up.”
“Guess I better dump her then,” he said.
“What?” she asked, staring at her.
“To keep from screwing her up,” he supplied.
“Alex, that’s not what I meant.”
He shook his head. “It’s kind of the truth though.”
“You don’t screw people up. You’re a good guy, and you deserve to be happy and you don’t have to be alone for the rest of your life.”
“Well that’s kind of how I always end up anyway.”
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“Do you love him?”
April asked the question casually between bites of her salad, poking at lettuce with her fork at lunch one day later that month.
“What?” Lexie asked.
“You and Jackson,” April shrugged. “I mean…he’s like…my best friend and you’re kind of my best friend too, and I just want the two of you to be happy.”
“I want that too,” Lexie said.
April nodded. “So you are in love with him?”
“I…” Lexie started, “this isn’t really the most appropriate lunch conversation.”
April frowned. “It’s not.”
“We’re happy,” Lexie said. “Doesn’t he seem happy?”
“Of course,” April said. “You both seem really happy, I don’t know why I asked, forget it.”
“How’s it going with that pharmacy rep?”
“Oh,” April blushed. “Uh, didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” April said. “Really, I’m okay.”
“You’re gonna be happy too, April.”
She sighed. “I hope so.”
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“We need to talk,” Lexie said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Jackson.
He frowned. “That’s never good.”
She smiled sadly. “I love you.”
He nodded. “I love you too. And now I’m confused about where this conversation is going.”
“I love you, and we’re good together, we’re good and we’re happy and it’s easy and so few things in my life are ever easy but I don’t think I’m in love with you,” she said softly. “And that breaks my heart because you’re so good to me and I like this so much and I could spend the rest of my life with you and we could be happy but I love you, and you’re one of my best friends and it would feel like we were both settling because I don’t think you’re in love with me either.”
“Lexie,” he said softly.
“You don’t have to say it to make me feel better,” she said. “And actually, I’d only end up feeling worse if you do.” She swallowed. “And promise me you won’t hate me forever because I can’t handle us not being friends.”
“It’s not me, it’s you?” he asked.
She nodded. “It’s all me, it’s so me and I’m sorry, oh my god, Jackson, I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Okay?”
“There is such an amazing girl out there somewhere and she’s going to love you so much,” she whispered.
“I hope so,” he shrugged, standing up and kissing her on the forehead. “And if you ever want to not be in love with someone again, or go to dinner with a bunch of old doctors, you’ll call me up, right?”
She laughed weakly. “So often you’ll be sick of me.”
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“Is sitting in the dark your new thing?” Alex asked, flipping on a lamp before flopping down on the couch next to Lexie.
She looked over at him and wiped her eyes, shaking her head. “Not today, Alex.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m an idiot.”
“No you’re not.”
She sighed. “Yeah, I am. I’m so stupid.” She paused. “Jackson and I broke up.”
“Want me to kick his ass?” he offered.
“It was me, I…I broke up with him.”
“Why?” he asked.
She shrugged, balling up a Kleenex and wiping her eyes. “I’m not in love with him so…I broke it off and it’s stupid, it’s so stupid because he’s such a nice guy, he’s a good guy and I apparently only fall in love with guys who kind of treat me like crap.”
He looked at his hands. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“I didn’t mean you,” she started.
“Yeah, you did,” he said. “And I deserve it.”
“You’re a good guy,” she said softly.
“Not really.”
“Alex.”
“Hey, come on, this isn’t even about me, it’s about you. And I’m sorry.”
She sniffled. “Yeah, me too.”
“You know,” he said, nudging her foot with his own, “we do have a certain pattern, when you break up with a boyfriend.”
She shook her head. “I’m too old and tired and sad to be another one of the girls you sleep with to convince yourself you’re not alone.”
He stared at her, speaking softly. “You are not just some girl.”
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Alex stood in the doorway to Lexie room, staring at her slumped in the middle of her bed.
“So you’re not going to work,” he said slowly.
She sat up, sighing and rubbing her eyes. “I called in.”
“So you can what, sit around and eat ice cream from the carton and feel sorry for yourself?”
She shrugged. “Why do you care?”
“Because I think it’s stupid.”
“Alex,” she sighed.
“No, come on, get your ass out of bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t judge you, you parade girls in and out of here and I don’t judge you.”
He laughed. “Yes you do.”
She frowned. “Okay, well, I’m sorry, and I’ll try to stop.”
“Don’t,” he said. “It’s good for me. I need you here, kicking my ass. I’m just returning the favor.”
“I need to be allowed to mourn the passing of my relationship.”
“Can you hear yourself?” he asked, walking into the room and pulling the curtains apart. “You sound like you’re in some freaking romance novel. Get up.”
“Alex.”
“No wallowing,” he said.
“Can’t you just give me this one day?”
“No,” he said. “Because one day becomes two days and then it’s a week and you’re lying on the bathroom floor and quitting your job and crap. It didn’t work out with Avery and I’m sorry, because he’s a nice guy and you deserve a nice guy, but you’re not gonna waste your life over it. So get up because we’re gonna be late and I’m going to tell everyone it’s your fault.”
She stared at him. “I don’t want to see him, I…I hurt him, and I’m sad, and it’s all going to be worse when I see him.”
He moved over to the edge of her bed and sat down. “I’ll make sure you don’t.”
“You’re gonna be busy with adorable sick children,” she protested. “You won’t have time to run interference with me.”
“Maybe I’ll find an adorable sick child you can help me with. That’d be fun, right?”
“Oh, sure,” she said, shaking her head. “Tons of fun, sounds great.”
“Get up.”
“Okay,” she said. “Fine, whatever, I’ll come with you.”
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“You want to get out of here?” Alex asked, leaning over the nurses’ station where Lexie was working. “Go to Joe’s and get a drink or something?”
“No,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “But thanks for asking.”
“Got big plans to go home and listen to sad songs and cry into your ice cream?” he asked.
“That sounds like a great idea,” she said. “Much better than going to drink all my problems away.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with that?”
She laughed. “Nothing. Perfectly healthy way of dealing with your problems.”
“You forgot about darts.”
“Darts,” she nodded. “That makes all the difference, sign me up.”
He grinned. “You can’t hide forever.”
“It’s been one day,” she protested.
“And I had to drag you out of bed this morning.”
“I remember.” She paused. “And thank you, I needed that. You’re a good friend.”
“Not really, but I’m trying. So let’s get out of here.”
“I’m not sure a bar is the best place for me right now. I’m not sure drinking in the best choice for me.”
“Because you won’t be able to resist falling into bed with me?” he asked.
“That’s a real possibility.”
“I’ve heard it’s possible to go to a bar and not get drunk,” he said.
“That’s weird,” she laughed.
“I know, but apparently it’s a thing some people like to do.”
She spun closer to him in her chair. “Tell me more.”
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“You know there are rules to this, right?” Lexie asked. “And like, points, a winner, a loser…”
Alex frowned. “That doesn’t seem like any fun.”
She shrugged. “I just figured a sportsman like yourself would want to play a real game,” she said, watching him throw a dart at the board.
“Right,” he said. “I just like being allowed to throw sharp, pointy objects.”
“Noted. And the wrestling…”
“Let me work out my aggression. Want me to show you sometime?”
“Oh, that sounds like a good idea. And also kind of makes me question what kind of wrestling you were doing.”
He shook his head. “Not funny,” he said, handing her the darts. “Your turn.”
“Oh, we’re taking turns?”
“Unless you want to stand there and watch me all night.”
She sipped her beer. “You were having a lot of fun.”
“I’m a fun guy.”
“I’m aware,” she said, slipping off her barstool and tossing a dart at the board.
“How many points is that?” he asked.
She wrinkled her nose. “Okay, confession time, I don’t actually know how to play darts.”
“Little Miss follow the rules doesn’t actually know how to follow the rules?” he asked with a grin.
She frowned. “At least I know there are rules,” she said.
“That makes all the difference?”
“Exactly,” she nodded.
“Good to know.”
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“Hey,” Lexie said, turning in the passenger seat of the car to face Alex, “thanks for tonight. And for today, for last night, for so many things.”
He shrugged, glancing over at her at a stoplight. “We’re friends, right?”
She nodded. “You’re a really good friend.”
“Look, I know it’s none of my business, but if you’re that upset about Avery, why don’t you just talk to him, try to work things out?”
She swallowed. “I don’t know, I mean…that’s my problem, really, you know, I can…I can break up with someone for all the right reasons, it can be really necessary for me, even but then I miss them, and I’m lonely so I start to get pulled back to them because I don’t like being alone.”
“You never did that when we broke up,” he pointed out.
“That’s because I was always so humiliated.”
“Come on, what I did was worse than knocking up Callie Torres?” he asked.
She shrugged. “You were always so distant afterwards,” she said softly tugging on a string on the sleeve of her jacket. “So thanks for that, you made it hard to repeat all my patterns.”
He grinned. “I did it for you.”
She laughed. “Well thank you.” She looked over at him again. “I loved you. When we were together, I loved you, you know that, right?”
He pulled into the driveway and turned in his seat to her. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”
“Good,” she said, nodding.
He leaned across the seats and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re not gonna be alone forever, Lexie. Don’t worry about that.”
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“I’ve got three days,” Cristina announced when Alex took a seat next to her in the cafeteria. “If you want to help me out.”
Alex blinked. “Three days for what?”
“Til you and Lexipedia start screwing each other again. You haven’t already, right?”
“No,” he said. “You’re betting on my sex life?”
She shrugged. “If you help me win I’ll buy you drinks.”
“You’re pimping me out now?” he asked.
“You’re gonna go there eventually anyway,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Might as well try to make a buck off of it.”
“We’re friends,” he said, biting into his sandwich. “That’s it.”
“I think it’s cute that you keep saying that like it means something.”
“I’m not gonna sleep with her.”
“Whatever.”
“I’m trying to be a good guy here,” he muttered. “I get that no one expects that from me, but I’m trying.”
Cristina tilted her head. “Are you in love with her?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he sighed.
“This whole noble, I’m not gonna touch her bullshit. You’re in love with her.”
“I’m not in love with anybody,” he protested.
She shook her head. “After all this time. Wow.”
“Shut up before someone hears you and actually believes you.”
She started to laugh. “Oh, yeah, cause that’s your biggest problem right now.”
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“You know there’s a pool going about when we’re going to sleep together again,” Alex announced, taking a seat at the counter while Lexie stood at the stove.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re not running this one right? I mean, you could attempt to change the results.”
“Attempt, huh?” he asked with a grin.
“Well, you’d have to convince me,” she shrugged.
“Right.”
“Plus you could just lie, I mean…how would anyone know?”
“All valid points,” he said. “And no, it’s not my thing.”
She shook her head. “I like that my life has been, like, reduced to a thing people bet on. That’s…that’s just great, really, just great.”
“Hey, come on, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said.
“No,” she said, “it’s not…I’m fine, really. I’m fine.”
He was silent for a minute before reaching out, grabbing an apple out of the bowl in the middle of the counter. “You hate apples,” he noted, watching her nose wrinkled in displeasure at the sound of him taking a bite.
“Took you long enough to notice.”
He shrugged. “I figured it out a long time ago. What I don’t get is why you keep buying them if you hate them so much.”
She frowned, turning to face him. “Because you like them,” she said simply.
He laughed. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, you’ve constantly got one, and why else would I buy them?”
“Right,” he said. “You’re a good friend. Pretty cool roommate too.”
“When I’m not cockblocking you?”
“Yeah, that’s not my favorite thing you’ve ever done.”
She smiled. “And Meredith thought we’d kill each other if we stayed here alone. Look at us now.”
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“Do you hate me?” April blurted out over salads in the cafeteria two weeks later.
Lexie looked up from her salad and frowned. “What? Why would I hate you?”
“Oh, I just mean Jackson, everything that happened…” April blushed. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I mean…you have to believe I didn’t know this would happen when we talked I…I didn’t mean it.”
“I know,” Lexie assured her quickly, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand. “I mean, you couldn’t possibly have predicted that asking me if I loved Jackson would lead to me breaking up with him.”
“I didn’t, and everything…I swear, Lexie, I never knew any of it was going to happen.”
“Any of what?” Lexie asked, frowning.
April blinked. “You…you haven’t heard…”
“Haven’t heard what?”
“I didn’t plan any of it.”
“April, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lexie said slowly.
“Jackson and I…we slept together. We’ve been sleeping together, I mean, just…just since you broke with him and I didn’t plan it and I didn’t even know it was going to happen until it did, you…you have to believe me, and please, don’t hate me.”
Lexie shook her head. “I don’t hate you.”
“It just kind of happened,” April said.
“Yeah, I know how that goes.” Lexie smiled softly. “He’s a good guy. Be good to him. And be happy.”
“Thank you,” April whispered.
“I mean it, April. Be happy.”
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“April’s sleeping with Jackson,” Lexie announced.
Alex frowned, reaching for a beer, pulling two bottles out of the fridge and pushing one into her hands. “Okay.”
“Bet there was no pool on that,” she muttered.
“There was one on who she was gonna lose her v-card to,” he said. “I was in the running for awhile.”
She shook her head. “You people are disgusting. And that’s just…insulting. And gross.”
“So you don’t want to hear about the one about how many chicks Sloan was gonna knock up before you finally kicked him to the curb for real?” he asked with a grin.
She glared at him.
“I might have made that one up,” he admitted.
“You’re such an ass sometimes,” she said even as she laughed.
“Only sometimes?”
She took a sip of her beer and looked over at him. “Yeah. Sometimes you can be pretty sweet.”
He shrugged. “Does it bother you? Avery and Kepner?”
“No. I mean, not really, it’s just…I’m happy for him. For them. Because I care about him so much and I want him to be happy but it just feels like I must be the easiest thing in the world to get over, I mean…no one misses me, and I’m not asking him to like, mourn the passing of our relationship or anything it’s just…weird to see how quickly you can be replaced.”
“That’s not true,” he mumbled. “You’re not…you’re not that easy to get over.”
“It’s not like you’re pining after me.”
He shrugged. “Who says I’m not?”
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“Alex said he was pining for me,” Lexie murmured. “But I mean…he was joking, right?”
“Was it a serious conversation?” Meredith asked slowly.
“I don’t know. Not really. We were talking about April and Jackson and me and Jackson and I think he just felt sorry for me or something, or maybe he was trying to make me laugh, I don’t know.” She paused. “But you know, because you know everything about Alex, so…if you could just clue me in…”
“Does it matter?” Meredith asked.
“What?” Lexie asked. “Of course it matters.”
“Why?” Meredith asked. “I mean, are you in love with him?”
“I’ve always loved him. That’s never been our problem.”
“Okay,” Meredith said, “so why does it matter? What does it change?”
“It matters,” Lexie said, “it…it matters to me, so just…help me out here. You’re my sister, come on.”
“I think if it’s that important you need to go and talk to Alex about it.”
“You’re my sister,” Lexie sighed. “You’re supposed to help me out with this kind of stuff.”
Meredith smiled. “Lexie, you and Alex are too complicated for me to figure out, and I don’t want to push you in the wrong direction. So just talk to him. You live in the same house, it shouldn’t be that hard.”
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“Smells good in here,” Alex murmured, stepping into the kitchen later that night.
Lexie shrugged. “Nothing special, just a little pasta.”
He nodded.
“Can I ask you something?” she said as he sat at the counter across from her.
“Sure,” he shrugged, taking the bottle of beer she pushed across to him.
“What happened to all your dates?”
“Huh?” he mumbled, taking a drink.
“You know, all those girls you had.”
“Maybe I started taking them to no tell motels out of respect for your whole emo post break up thing.”
“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head.
“Then maybe I realized you were right all along and I am too old to keep pulling the same crap.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked.
“Sure.”
She tilted her head. “I thought you were all about honesty.”
“Who says I’m not?” he asked.
“Why’d you say you were pining for me? Was that a joke or whatever?”
“Lexie,” he sighed.
“You know what, forget it. Too much emo post break up crap, I’m just being weird.”
“Why does it matter anyway?” he asked.
She shrugged, leaning across the counter and kissing him softly. “It just does,” she whispered.
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“Uh, I think your stuff’s on fire,” Alex mumbled when Lexie pulled back.
She turned to the stove, grabbing the pot and throwing it in the sink, turning the water on and the burner off and shaking her head.
“Crap,” she muttered.
“It’ll be okay,” he shrugged. “We can order pizza or something.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Okay,” he said. “Then what’s the point?”
“Do you like me?” she asked, spinning back to him.
“Of course I like you.”
“Not as a friend,” she said. “Not as a roommate, do you like me?”
“Lexie.”
“Because I’m in love with you, and I was always in love with you, but every time we try this…it’s so easy, you and me, that’s the joke, right? We just fall right into bed with each other because it’s easy, being with you is really freaking easy, but then your crazy ex-girlfriend shows up with a crazy fake baby or someone shoots you because of me and I end up the crazy one or…I kiss you and I almost burn the house down and maybe all of that is just a sign because you and me are some kind of harbinger of doom.”
He blinked. “Okay.”
“I’m such an idiot.”
“Lexie,” he sighed.
She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Everything.”
“I don’t know what you have to be sorry for,” he shrugged. “I’m the asshole that keeps breaking your heart.”
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“Lexie kissed me and then the house almost burned down and then she locked herself in her bedroom for the rest of the night and now she won’t talk to me,” Alex announced.
Cristina and Meredith both stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him.
“Dude,” Cristina said, laughing and shaking her head, “what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” he protested. “She started freaking out and said we’re like a harbinger of doom or something.” He paused. “I don’t even know what that means.”
“Nothing good,” Meredith assured him.
“Thanks, I actually figured that much out on my own,” he muttered. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“Well, that sort of depends on what you want,” Meredith murmured. “I mean, do you want to come out of this thing as Lexie’s trusty sidekick, her friend, her roommate or do you want something else?”
“He’s in love with her,” Cristina said. “Like a little teenage girl mooning over her, it’s really pathetic. Alex and Lexie sitting in a tree,” she sang, “k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”
“Shut up,” he sighed.
“Okay,” Meredith said, “then I think you need to convince Lexie that mashing your genitals together won’t bring about something horrible and it’s all just been a really crappy coincidence.”
“How do I do that?”
She frowned. “Good question.”
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“Can I come in?” Alex asked, knocking lightly on the open door to Lexie’s room.
She looked over at him and nodded.
He stepped inside, leaning against her dresser. “I used to think a lot of crap was my fault.”
“Like what?” she asked.
He shrugged. “What happened with my dad, what happened to my mom, Aaron.” He paused. “Rebecca, Izzie, you.”
She swallowed. “Alex.”
“I come into people’s lives and they get wrecked and it’s kind of hard to see that happen again and again and again and not start thinking it’s more than a really crappy coincidence, you know?”
She nodded slowly.
“I don’t think that you and I are a harbinger of doom. Though I can’t be sure because I still have no idea what the hell that means, but it’s not you, Lexie. If it’s anybody, it’s me.”
“I didn’t get all messed up because of you, that…maybe it’s my fault. Maybe it’s nobody’s fault.” She shrugged. “I don’t know anymore.”
“If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t blame you, but if you don’t want to do it because of some idea that we’re going to bring about the apocalypse or something…we’re not that powerful. I’m not responsible for what happens to everybody because it’s not all about me. And we’re not gonna create some major disaster. It might not end pretty, I’m still not sure I’m any good at that kind of thing, but that’s always the chance you take, right?”
She shrugged. “I guess.”
“And maybe the odds aren’t in our favor, because I mean, just look at our history, but you’re the one who says screw the odds, right?”
She sat up slowly, nodding again. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve been known to say that a time or two before.”
“So screw them. Let’s…give it one last shot, you and me.”
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“If we do this thing,” Lexie said softly, fingers nervously plucking at her sheets, “you and me, if we try this thing again, I’m going to want it to be something real.” She paused, looking over at Alex, shrugging. “I’m not saying you have to promise to love me forever but I’m too old to just screw around.”
“You’re not old,” he said with a grin.
She shook her head. “Then maybe my biological clocking is ticking or something because I know…I want kids someday, even if someday is years in the future and I want a house that’s more than some place we’re squatting and I want a life that’s more than just a holding pattern until something real comes along, and I know I’m probably scaring you off right now and I should just shut up, but I broke it off with Jackson because he wasn’t the one or whatever because…it wasn’t right or it wasn’t perfect or whatever and I can’t just fall back into this thing that we do, I need to know that if we do this it’s because I think it could go somewhere.”
“Okay,” he murmured.
“Okay?” she asked hesitantly.
He shrugged. “I don’t know what you and I are, Lexie, and I’m not sure we ever really got a chance to find out because there was always something in our way, but maybe if you’re too old to just keep screwing around then I am too, so…let’s give it a shot, see where it goes. No promises but whatever happens, you’ll never be just some girl I screw.”
She smiled. “That’s almost romantic, coming from you.”
He nodded. “That’s about as romantic as I get.”
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“Hey,” Jackson murmured, leaning on the nurses’ station next to Lexie the next day.
She smiled at him over the top of a file. “Hey.”
“April said the two of you talked.”
She nodded.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I broke up with you,” she pointed out.
“I know,” he said. “But I still care about you. We’re friends, we agreed on that, remember?”
“I remember. And I’m okay. I’m happy for you, for both of you, because I really, really want you to be happy.”
He nodded. “It’s new, so who knows how it’s going to turn out but…it’s good.”
“Good,” she said. “Alex and I are…we’re trying again.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. And I think…this is it, you know? Either we make it this time or we admit defeat.”
“Then good luck.”
She smiled. “You too.”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
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“So how exactly does this thing work?” Alex asked, staring at the plate of food Lexie had placed before him. “You and me?”
She started to laugh, sipping her beer. “You were married and you still don’t understand how relationships work?”
He shrugged. “Maybe that’s why I got divorced.”
She smiled. “Well…we date, I guess. We have sex and we hang out and we see where it goes.”
“That’s it?” he asked.
“Were you expecting me to demand a proposal or something?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess it just feels serious.”
“You’re already freaking out,” she said. “It’s like, day two.”
“Sorry.”
“Look, if you don’t want to do this…”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he said.
“What are you saying then?”
“Nothing. I’m saying I’m not good at this kind of thing, you know that.”
“What I know,” she murmured, “is that…it was nice, before, you and me, I mean…it never lasted, it never worked out exactly, but there were these moments that were so, so nice. And that’s what I want. I want to see, if there’s no Rebecca, no Izzie, no Mark, no shooting, no psych ward, if the two of us can be nice again. So stop freaking out. Man up, Karev.”
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“So?” Alex asked the next morning.
“So?” Lexie repeated, looking over at him.
He shrugged, kissing her bare shoulder. “Is it nice?”
She smiled. “Yeah, right now it’s very, very nice. You looking for some ego stroking here?”
“Nah, just…you wanted nice.”
“So you’re trying to give me nice?” she asked.
“I guess.”
“It’s been three days,” she said. “How much could we possibly screw things up in three days?”
“A whole hell of a lot.”
She closed her eyes, tugging on the blankets. “It’s nice. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worrying. I don’t worry. That’s your thing.”
“Okay, see, now you should stop talking.”
“And give you a freaking beer?” he asked with a grin.
“I’d settle for a kiss.”
He shook his head. “You’re lucky you’re hot because that was a cheesy freaking line.”
“I’m hot, huh?” she asked playfully.
“Mmhmm.”
“Then good for me. Now where’s my kiss?”
He tucked her hair behind her ears. “What if I want more than a kiss?”
“Then you just might be in luck, since we are in this nice big bed and all.”
“We should probably make good use of that.”
“Yeah, we really should.”
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“What are you thinking about?”
“Huh?” Lexie asked.
“Your face,” Alex said. “You shouldn’t play poker.”
She blushed. “I’m not thinking about anything.”
He laughed. “You’re a crappy, crappy liar.”
“Well, shouldn’t that just make me more attractive to you? Given your stance on lying and everything.”
“What are you thinking about?” he repeated.
“Maybe I don’t want to tell you,” she shrugged.
“Keeping secrets?”
“Yes,” she said. “Many, many secrets.”
He frowned. “Seriously, Lexie.”
“Seriously, I am still allowed to have my own thoughts.”
He tilted his head. “Was it sexy stuff?”
“Yes, I was just having the best little sex dream about running my hands through Derek’s hair.”
He shook his head. “That’s messed up.”
She laughed. “I’m glad you pushed me into telling you, maybe that’s what we should try. Some kind of all honesty all the time thing, where we just tell each other everything.”
“Nah, I don’t want to know any more about your kinky thoughts about McDreamy’s hair.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
She blinked, looking over at him. “I was thinking about how this could be our home, you know, if this…thing works between the two of us, it wouldn’t have to just always be this place where we’re squatting.” She shrugged. “But I’m sure that’s freaking you out, so I wasn’t ever going to say it.”
He stared at her and she smiled nervously.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I know…you’re not ready for any of that stuff and maybe you never will be and I’m not pushing here, that’s just…what I was thinking.”
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“I’m not gonna bail on this thing,” Alex said, walking into the kitchen and sitting at the counter.
“Okay,” Lexie said. “Good.”
“I may not be ready for love or marriage or any of that crap but, this thing, this you and me whatever, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t serious about giving us a shot.”
Lexie smiled. “Good,” she repeated. “I want that too.”
He nodded. “So I’m not gonna freak out and take off the second you start thinking it’s serious because we’ve tried that, you know, we’ve hooked up and said it’s nothing but it was never nothing, Lexie, you were never nothing, you were never just some girl, you…you stuck by me through some of the worst crap that ever happened to me and you forgave me for all my bullshit and you were good to me, Lexie, you’ve just been really, really good to me.”
She reached for a plate. “I love you, Alex, I’ve been in love with you for so long it’s just natural, like breathing, or rambling or eating when I get stressed, it’s a part of me. You’re a part of me, and if you took off tomorrow, you’d still be a part of me. I mean, I loved you after you dumped me in the psych ward, so I’m pretty sure I’m gonna love you forever.”
“I gave up screwing random girls for you,” he mumbled.
She laughed softly. “Well, that is quite the meaningful gesture.”
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“You know it’s almost our anniversary,” Lexie said, rolling onto her side.
Alex frowned. “We just started hooking up again. We have an anniversary?”
“I mean the house,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “You, me, living here.”
“Oh,” he said. “Right. That’s a thing?”
She laughed softly. “No. That’s just an observation.”
He blinked, reaching over to pull her closer. “You remember that party Mer had at the candle house?”
“Hmm, which one?” she murmured, snuggling into his side.
“The groundbreaking or whatever.”
She nodded. “Big hole in the ground, champagne from paper cups. Very classy.”
“You looked hot.”
She laughed. “Thank you.”
“No, seriously, I remember thinking you looked hot.”
“I remember thinking someone was going to fall into that freaking hole.”
“Probably April.”
“Be nice. April’s nice.”
“I am being nice, I’m just saying…if someone was going to fall in, it probably would have been her.”
Lexie closed her eyes. “We could have a party. I mean, we’re a thing now, or whatever, we could have like…a dinner party, we wouldn’t tell anyone it was our anniversary but we could do that.”
“I don’t really throw dinner parties. Or any other kind of parties.”
“Not even ones where people stand around holes and drink booze from paper cups?”
“Nah,” he said. “Though if I did throw one, it’d probably look like that.”
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“Hey,” Alex murmured.
“Hey,” Lexie mumbled.
“Nice dress.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
He shook his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be nice and polite and like, take a freaking compliment or something?”
“I know I look ridiculous.”
“Maybe a little overdressed,” he shrugged.
“I’ve never been to like…a groundbreaking party before. I don’t even think it’s a real thing.”
“I’m here for the free booze,” he said. “Plus I got money riding on someone falling in the hole.”
“That’s horrible,” she said.
He shrugged. “That mean you don’t want in?”
“I am not betting on someone falling in a hole, they could get hurt.”
“We’re doctors, I think we can probably handle it.”
She crossed her arms, shaking her head. “Good thing I changed my shoes.”
He grinned. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you fall.”
“What?” she asked, looking over at him.
He looked away, back at the hole where the house would stand some day. “I figure I owe you or whatever, so…”
“That’s…kind of sweet. Would you risk life and limb to save Mark, too?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t look as good in a dress as you do.”
“What do you think’s going to happen to us?” she asked. “You know, once Meredith moves out?”
“I don’t really believe she’s actually going to,” he said. “And if she does, it doesn’t really change anything, does it?”
“It’s her house.”
“Yeah, but she’s never going to give that thing up.”
“So what, it’s going to be you and me in that house when we’re seventy?”
“Yeah,” he said with a smirk. “And we’ll still be hooking up.”
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“Here,” Alex said, tossing a card and a bouquet of daisies on the counter in front of Lexie.
She smiled brightly. “Thank you.”
“For our anniversary or whatever,” he shrugged. “I bought them at a gas station. And you shouldn’t get used to this kind of thing, but I’m trying.”
She opened one of the kitchen cabinets and pulled out a vase, filling it with water and placing the flowers in it. “They’re beautiful.”
“I want this thing to work.”
“Me too,” she said. “It’d be awfully lonely here without you.”
“Who says I’m moving out if this thing goes south?” he asked.
“It’s my sister’s house.”
“Yeah, but she likes me.”
“You think she likes you more than me?” Lexie asked playfully.
“I’m sure mommy Meredith loves us all equally,” he said with a smirk. “Just in different ways.”
“Maybe we better just hope this thing works out,” she said, walking around the counter and wrapping her arms around his neck. “You know, for the sake of our precarious living situation and all.”
“I did buy you flowers.”
“I know,” she said. “Happy house anniversary or whatever,” she teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, tugging her closer. “Whatever.”
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“Do we really have to go to McDreamy’s freaking party?” Alex muttered, scowling at the dress shirt laid out on the bed.
“Yes,” Lexie answered. “He’s my brother-in-law.”
He shrugged. “Still not seeing what that has to do with me.”
“You’re my boyfriend.”
He shook his head. “I don’t like that word.”
“You prefer lover?” she asked playfully.
“Yeah, that’s much better.”
“Come with me,” she said, “and do this thing and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m gonna get something dirty if I do this?”
“We’ll see,” she said. “It is an awfully big house, lots of rooms, a person could disappear for a while without anyone even realizing they were gone.”
“You wanna do it in your sister’s bed? Cause that’s pretty kinky.”
Lexie laughed. “That might be going a little too far.”
“How much dirty do I get if I don’t wear a tie?”
“I don’t know, are we negotiating now?”
“I just like to know my options.”
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“You and Alex seem cozy,” Meredith murmured.
Lexie shrugged. “I told you, we’re trying again for real this time or whatever.”
“I know,” Meredith said with a smile. “I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, it’s good,” Lexie said, offering Alex a wave from across the room. “Things are good.”
“Good.”
“I should go back over there before he bolts or something. Not that your party isn’t great, because it is, it’s totally, totally great.”
“Totally,” Meredith echoed playfully.
Lexie blushed. “I’m just saying I’m having a really good time, you know?”
“Yeah,” Meredith said. “Got it.”
“Good,” Lexie said softly.
“Lexie?”
The younger woman turned to her.
“I’m happy for you,” Meredith repeated. “For you and Alex, I hope you make it work this time.”
Lexie smiled brightly. “Me too.”
She moved through the crowd of party guests back to Alex’s side, handing him a bottle of beer.
He grinned, taking a sip. “You know maybe this whole dating thing isn’t all bad,” he murmured. “It’s got at least a couple of advantages.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Like me being a waitress and all?”
“Uh huh,” he said. “You’re pretty useful.”
“You’re such an ass,” she teased.
“It’s not the only thing I like about you,” he shrugged.
“Oh yeah?” she asked. “What else?”
“You’re hot.”
She blushed. “Thank you.”
“Plus, you know, there’s other stuff.”
“That’s the best you can do? Other stuff?”
“You’re nice and whatever, I don’t know.” He paused. “I like you Lexie. I like a lot of stuff about you.”
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“I love you,” Lexie whispered. “I’ve loved you for so long.”
Alex looked down at her as she snuggled into his side. “You hinting at something there?”
“What?” she asked, looking up at him. “Oh, no,” she blushed. “No, I just thought you should know.”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean…”
“I’m not good at this kind of thing.”
“I know.”
“I loved you. Back…the shooting and all of that crap, I mean, I was in a really messed up place but I loved you. I was falling in love with you or whatever.”
Her eyes widened and she swallowed. “And now?”
“Aren’t you the one who says that kind of thing never really goes away. That you love me now because you never really stopped?”
“You’ve been in love with me all this time?”
He shrugged. “Don’t make it sound like I’m pining away like some sap in a crappy movie.”
“I happen to like those kinds of movies.”
He laughed softly. “Yeah, I bet you do.”
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“I love you or whatever,” Alex mumbled. “You know, if you need to hear it.”
Lexie smiled brightly, sitting on the couch next to him and curling into his side. “Thank you.”
He shrugged. “Whatever.”
“Stop trying to brush off what just happened,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder and draping an arm across his chest.
“You know I’m not any good at this crap.”
“I know. But you’re making an effort and that’s a good sign, I think that’s a really, really good sign.” She looked up at him. “I think we’re going to make it this time.”
“Because I’m all enlightened now and I talk about feelings and crap?”
She giggled. “Well, that is a good start. Sometimes I think that maybe everything had to happen, we had to go through all the crap that we went through so we’d end up here together, so we’d…get this.”
“You know I don’t believe in stuff like that, right?”
“Yes,” she said. “I know. I don’t even mind, but I do, or I do sometimes, and maybe it’s just nice to believe that everything happened for a reason, I don’t know.” She paused. “Or maybe it’s just third time’s a charm.”