Aug 25, 2003 08:02
I have just learned greatest tragedy. I cannot think. Is it true?
I hope that it is not. I greatly hope for lie. Lie I care not for but in such a case I wish it to be false. Is Cynthia truly dead? I did not know. Please tell me it is not so. I knew her well and loved her well. I do not mean to be selfish. I cannot believe such tragedy in such a horrible way. I cannot even hope for painlessness. It is too consuming, the flames. I weep for my friend, Cynthia. I despair. I do not know what to do. This I hope was not intentional.
I must understand this. I must speak to Sister Maria. I do not know how or where.
Also there is for George and John further dischord.
I cannot think for Cynthia. But I will try for this, also. So much grief. We are so young and yet so old. It seems unfair.
I do not know what to express for this. It seems tragic thing but not so tragic to destroy all. It is unexpected but not like death. Perhaps there were ignored sign. Perhaps there were ignored heart. I do not know how to explain. However in time there are mistake made. Perhaps best is not always happening. This is only human. Both are only human as are all. It does not excuse. But too short is life for deep hurt like this. Too much pain already. Perhaps you cannot see through it. It is all right if this is so. Time must heal in this case. I hope it does. This can be recover. Cynthia cannot be recover. Do you understand? This is small to that. Live and forgive for tomorrow you may die.
I do not wish to see such sorrow. This is beyond me.
For this I am sad.
Both George and John are close to me. I hope them happiness together or apart.
I wished to speak of wedding and things but I cannot. Tonight my grief is too great.
I will think of Cynthia. Perhaps to light a candle is not right but in my heart one already burn. I must go for my stomach is unhappy with this news.
I should yet enjoy the compant of Stuart.
This sort of touch I need.
I must know there is still love in this world.