Fic: Everybody's Daddy
Don't even ask.
To: Admiral Adama
From: The Office of the President
Bill,
Is this message Romo Lampkin sent me correct? Have you really now officially adopted everyone in the fleet? Seriously? Have you signed me up for this too? Don't you think this is the kind of decision we should be making jointly? You don't just come home one evening and announce “Honey, just so you know, we've got forty thousand new kids”. There are all kinds of issues to consider!
How are we going to sort out childcare arrangements? You have to admiral, I have to president, and it's going to be very difficult to get much one-on-one time with them all AND squeeze in the occasional bit of time to ourselves. Do you have any idea how expensive this will be? The food bills alone will probably bankrupt us, not to mention pocket money and clothing allowances and all the new toys they'll be demanding. And the therapy sessions they'll all be needing? Don't get me started.
And we're going to have to sit down and have a serious talk about discipline, you know. We've gotta be on the same page about this kind of thing. You can't be undermining me at every turn so that I always have to play bad cop. You let Helo get away with blue murder already, I dread to think how spoilt he's going to grow up. And you've gotta stop playing favourites. Poor Lee's been tagging around after you waiting for a bit of praise for years, and gets ignored. No wonder he acts out. And Kara! She doesn't know whether she's coming or going half the time. We're going to have to develop some rules about all of this. And stop using “Just wait til your mother gets home” as a threat! Stop being such a softy. I've had to send twelve of them to timeout in the airlock already this morning, and all of them gave me attitude about how you'd not do that and I was a big old meany.
Just so you're aware, there's parent-teacher conferences next week, and as their legal guardian now, you're up, I'm afraid. I've got your timetable. 1800 hours for Lee, 1805 for Kara, 1810 for Sharon, 1815 Gaeta, 1820 Dee … frak it, I'll leave it on your desk. Do not forget to go.
I'll talk to you about the rest with you later, when you get back from doing the bedtime story rounds. Helo's requested “The Little Toaster Who Could” this evening. I've got it out ready for you. And when you've done that, get yourself back here frakkin' ASAP, mister. We have things to 'discuss'.
If Lee wets the bed again, you're getting up to change the sheets.
L x
To: Admiral Adama
From: The Office of the President
Bill,
Is this message Romo Lampkin sent me correct? Have you really now officially adopted everyone in the fleet? Seriously? Have you signed me up for this too? Don't you think this is the kind of decision we should be making jointly? You don't just come home one evening and announce “Honey, just so you know, we've got forty thousand new kids”. There are all kinds of issues to consider!
How are we going to sort out childcare arrangements? You have to admiral, I have to president, and it's going to be very difficult to get much one-on-one time with them all AND squeeze in the occasional bit of time to ourselves. Do you have any idea how expensive this will be? The food bills alone will probably bankrupt us, not to mention pocket money and clothing allowances and all the new toys they'll be demanding. And the therapy sessions they'll all be needing? Don't get me started.
And we're going to have to sit down and have a serious talk about discipline, you know. We've gotta be on the same page about this kind of thing. You can't be undermining me at every turn so that I always have to play bad cop. You let Helo get away with blue murder already, I dread to think how spoilt he's going to grow up. And you've gotta stop playing favourites. Poor Lee's been tagging around after you waiting for a bit of praise for years, and gets ignored. No wonder he acts out. And Kara! She doesn't know whether she's coming or going half the time. We're going to have to develop some rules about all of this. And stop using “Just wait til your mother gets home” as a threat! Stop being such a softy. I've had to send twelve of them to timeout in the airlock already this morning, and all of them gave me attitude about how you'd not do that and I was a big old meany.
Just so you're aware, there's parent-teacher conferences next week, and as their legal guardian now, you're up, I'm afraid. I've got your timetable. 1800 hours for Lee, 1805 for Kara, 1810 for Sharon, 1815 Gaeta, 1820 Dee … frak it, I'll leave it on your desk. Do not forget to go.
I'll talk to you about the rest with you later, when you get back from doing the bedtime story rounds. Helo's requested “The Little Toaster Who Could” this evening. I've got it out ready for you. And when you've done that, get yourself back here frakkin' ASAP, mister. We have things to 'discuss'.
If Lee wets the bed again, you're getting up to change the sheets.
L x