Show Your Real Face To Me, 2/2
Show Your Real Face To Me, 2/2
He spent the next few days confused and frustrated. He'd been so turned on, had loved the secrecy and tension the encounter with the stranger had brought about. But he'd been left hanging, not knowing a thing about the person he'd been with. And then of course he'd been stupid enough to give his name so easily, receiving no such courtesy in return.
Every time his phone vibrated with a call or mail message, he anxiously checked it, wondering if it would be the calm voice of Inoue-san informing him that yet another suit was ready. Nino seemed to sense that something had happened, something that Jun wasn't ready or willing to talk about. He steered clear for once, and Jun was grateful for it.
As the days passed and his anger and confusion subsided, Jun decided that he was being overly presumptuous about what the Face Down Club was really about. He'd had an enjoyable if non-traditional experience. He'd had privacy. And it had only been the first time. What more did he need? He'd apologize to his partner for being rude...if he ever did go ahead and set up another session.
Instead of a call from Inoue-san, however, Jun was surprised by the sudden arrival of a package during work hours four days after his first session, addressed to him with no return identification. It was a small, narrow box, and he shoved it in his locker before the other staff could see, returning to the kitchen and his own work. Nino found him later that evening, grinning from ear to ear. "Gifts from a secret admirer?" his friend asked.
Jun took the package from his locker, unwrapping it and gasping in surprise. Even Nino was speechless at the sight of the watch inside. Not a Rolex, but far from cheap. Maybe two months' rent for Jun easily. Smuggled inside the watch box was a handwritten note that simply said "I'm sorry."
"Jesus," Nino finally said. "Are you that good?"
Jun shoved the note in his pocket, closing the watch case and slipping it into his jacket. No return address, no mention of Rainbow Dry Cleaners. But Jun was convinced his mysterious partner was behind this. He'd probably gone through the Face Down Club, arranging for the gift to be sent to Jun quietly.
He didn't know what to think. He'd never gotten such an extravagant gift in his entire life. He'd learned something altogether new about the person the Face Down Club had matched him with - he was either extremely wealthy or extremely reckless with his money.
When he got back to his apartment that night, he set the watch on the table, listened to its precise ticking. How could he accept such a thing from someone he barely knew? Was this the type of person who bought people off regularly? Or was the feeling behind it genuine? It was a beautiful watch, elegant and so perfectly matched to his tastes. It wasn't a frivolous purchase, not something a person went in and picked on a whim.
Who was he? A politician used to bribes? Some executive earning millions? Some business conglomerate heir?
Jun answered Inoue-san's phone call on the first ring just as he was getting into bed. Her pre-recorded voice requested he arrive at noon to pick up his suit tomorrow. This time Jun was going to accessorize a bit.
--
He was assigned to 605 once again, but this time there was a little more confidence in his step as he climbed the stairs, swiping the card on the sixth floor. The room was unchanged - the chair, the tiny bathroom, and the red, red walls. Even the bag on the floor with a newly purchased black sleep mask, still wrapped in plastic.
The envelope on the chair bid him to repeat the process from last time - shower, blindfold, sit and wait. He obeyed, this time stripping bare, placing himself on the cool leather seat with the watch as his only adornment. This time he decided to let his partner know everything he had paid for.
The man arrived earlier this time, swiping his card and opening the door. Jun heard it close almost immediately, the stranger scrambling with the lock.
His voice was light, happy. Perhaps he was pleased at Jun's decision to disrobe entirely. "You have no idea how glad I am that that watch got to you. I'm not used to doing things that way."
Jun lifted his wrist, feeling the weight of it against his skin. "That's some apology." He cocked his head. "I didn't mean to give off the impression that I was angry with you...that I expected to be compensated for my trouble..."
The guy took off his shoes, shed his clothes. "You didn't have a watch. Now you do. It looks perfect on you. And that's all there is to it." He sensed the stranger's approach. "I'm showering. I want you to stay absolutely still in this chair until I return."
Jun nodded, growing anxious once again. But unlike last time he wanted to keep his expectations reasonable. The guy had bought him an expensive watch. He wasn't taking Jun and the Face Down Club set-up lightly. It was only a few minutes before the stranger was back, damp fingers stroking along Jun's arms.
"Here, slip it off. I'll put it by your shoes," the man said, already undoing the watch's clasp. Good thinking. He felt the weight lift, heard the man's feet slap against the floor and then return.
On their previous encounter, his partner had initiated all the contact, had kept his distance. Now Jun felt the stranger's hands grasp his, pull him up and out of the chair. And then he was flush against him, gasp lost in the other man's mouth. He'd barely toweled off from the shower, and Jun found his body wet to the touch. Without removing the blindfold, he took his time discovering and his partner allowed him.
His lips were soft, had the slightest medicinal-smelling hint of lip balm. The stranger's hands found the small of Jun's back, pulled their bodies together. The both of them barefoot, Jun discovered they were of a similar height. Jun was maybe a few millimeters taller. The other man's cock was already hard, pressing against Jun's thigh as they kissed.
Jun touched every bit he could, reveling in the opportunity. There was not the distance of their previous encounter. He grasped at the man's face, finding his skin smooth. He broke their kiss, brushing his fingers across the other man's lips, tracing them, exploring his cheekbones, his jaw as though he were blind. He moved down, touching where he could. The man's neck was thicker, his shoulders narrower than Jun's and more angled. But it was the body of someone who took care of himself. His arms were firm, his ab muscles firmly defined. And his ass...
"Greedy," the man said when Jun's hands moved from front to back, sliding down and grabbing hold. "Jun, you are the greedy type."
It felt so good to hear his name coming from the stranger's mouth, from those lips he wanted to kiss again and again. So he did just that, hearing something close to a growl of pleasure emerge from his partner. A sexy voice, a great body. He'd never hit the jackpot like this before. He didn't want this appointment, this night, to end.
"When will you tell me your name?" Jun asked, trying to commit all of this to memory, groaning in delight when the other man reached between them, stroked his cock. "Do you plan to tell me anything?"
The man released him, turning them so Jun's back was to him. He was rewarded with firm kisses to his nape, along his shoulders and shoulder blades. "Prove yourself to me, then," the man said. "Come back to me whenever I ask for you. Then maybe I'll tell you."
"How come you're keeping me in the dark?"
"Because," the stranger said, tracing his finger down Jun's spine and making him jump. "It pisses you off, doesn't it?"
Jun chuckled a bit, wishing he could go back in time, make a few adjustments to his paperwork. He didn't want to be out of control forever.
"Suck me off tonight," the man whispered, tongue curling around his ear lobe. "And maybe next time I'll fuck you."
"I'll suck you off," Jun said in reply, "and then next time you tell me one thing about yourself. And then you can do whatever you want to me."
"You're negotiating with me? When I got that call from Inoue-san saying she's got someone perfect for me? Someone open to being toyed with? Someone who'll let me run the show?"
Jun had a difficult time imagining anything of the sort coming from the prim and proper Inoue-san. But it did make him wonder just what kind of details were on this stranger's form, what exactly he was looking for.
"Jun, I asked you a question." He was reprimanded with a jab of fingers to his side, catching him in a ticklish spot and making him squirm.
"It's not a negotiation, not precisely," he managed to say, only to feel the other man yank him along. He was shoved down to his knees, heard the sound of body meeting leather as his partner settled himself in the chair. "I just think it would make me want to please you more. If I got to know you."
"I see."
Jun inched along the floor until he found the other man's legs, spread wide so Jun could kneel easily between them. His partner was sitting at the edge of the cushion, his fingers moving to the back of Jun's head to get him into place.
"Show me how good that mouth of yours is, and I may consider readjusting my timetable."
It was enough to spur him on, hearing the challenge in the other man's voice. As though an order had come in at the restaurant, some food critic ready to scoff at whatever was presented. These were the challenges Jun liked best.
He spent the better part of an hour proving his talents, licking and sucking at the stranger's perfect cock, stopping to take a breather and rest his hardworking jaw every time he came close to orgasm. At first, the stranger wasn't so fond of the teasing, but Jun made up for it, brushing gentle kisses to his stomach, along the sensitive skin of his thighs. Touching and stroking, unrelenting. It was Jun's name, husky and almost breathless on his partner's lips when he finally came, fingers tangled up in his hair and gasping.
It was quiet for a while after that, Jun waiting patiently at the man's feet, hearing him struggle to catch his breath. He was finally rewarded with the relaxed sound of the other man's laughter.
"That was...that was..." he said, unable to find the words. "You're so perfect, I don't deserve you."
Jun felt his cheeks flush at the unadulterated praise. He was helped to his feet, slightly embarrassed. "Thank you," was all he could say.
He was ordered to stay where he was, feeling the slightest disappointment when the man pulled on his clothes, zipped up his jacket. Soon the man was behind him, embracing him, resting his cheek against Jun's warm, bare skin. "As soon as I leave, I want you to touch yourself. Touch yourself and think of me. Will you do that?" Jun nodded. "Just think about how hard I'm going to fuck you the next time we meet. That should help you along, right?"
He couldn't help groaning, feeling the man's fingers graze along his hip bones. "And Jun?"
"Yes?"
"Something about me...something about me." The stranger searched for the words, fingers tracing figure eights on Jun's skin possessively. "Why don't you call me 'Sensei' next time?"
"You're a doctor? A teacher?"
The other man's fingers danced across his skin, sliding along his stomach. "Wear your watch."
Then he was gone, opening and closing the door firmly. Jun stumbled his way to the shower, leaving his blindfold on as he turned on the water. His moans echoed off the bathroom tile, imagining not his own hand but the stranger's as he jerked himself off.
--
The Face Down Club slowly became an addiction for Jun as well as for his mystery man, Sensei. There'd been five days between the first and second sessions, but Inoue-san called Jun only three days later and Jun eagerly awaited their next encounter. He wasn't used to this, to second times and thirds. He wasn't used to someone specifically demanding him, not like this.
He wore his watch everywhere as requested. Out for groceries, sitting in front of the TV. He even kept it in the pocket of his jacket at work, unwilling to leave it at home or in his locker. Nino sensed the change in him, sneaking smiles across the steaming kitchen, even managing a thumbs up that made Jun blush.
Sensei. Why don't you call me 'Sensei' next time? What kind of teacher's salary could afford a watch like that? Lawyer was a possibility, but this man and Jun kept late schedules. Maybe doctor was the more logical solution. Or maybe this guy was just arrogant, Jun told himself. Maybe he was just teasing.
He kneaded dough, frosted cakes with almost infuriating precision, all in sharp contrast to the personality he kept on display for Sensei. The all too willing acolyte. Sensei's pupil, he thought with a laugh. Sensei's difficult patient who had to be taught a lesson.
Jun was still a little shocked when their time arrived, and he found himself once again in the sparsely appointed room. Sensei had been all too clear about the evening's itinerary but he apparently hadn't thought a room with a bed was necessary. He waited diligently in the chair as he had the previous time, wearing his watch and eagerly awaiting the man's arrival.
He was late this time, apologizing by greeting Jun with a kiss so full of need that it made him weak in the knees. "Sensei," he murmured when he was finally released, hearing the other man's spirited laugh.
"Perfect. Just what I wanted to hear."
He left Jun alone to go shower. It was tempting to remove the blindfold, tiptoe to the bathroom and at least take a glance at his mysterious lover. But then the game would be over. He didn't dare break the rules, no matter how much the curiosity was killing him. The man's body, the man's warm mouth and tongue would have to satisfy him. This was only their third meeting. If he wanted a fourth, he'd obey.
When the man returned, he decided that their first real fuck would be far more intimate than Jun had expected. He found himself facing his partner, straddling his lap as he sat in the chair. Completely blind, he could only squeeze his partner's shoulders and the back of the chair, biting his lip hard as he hovered a bit awkwardly above him. He heard the other man tear open a condom wrapper, settling it on himself. Then he stroked Jun's cock, teasing him for a while before slipping his hand lower. Sensei's fingers found his tight hole, slowly working him open. Jun wanted him so badly that he couldn't help urging Sensei along, gasping as the other man stroked inside him.
Finally, he couldn't take much more, begging in a way he'd never done before. His fingernails dug into the leather seat as their bodies came together, Jun taking Sensei in slowly, feeling the other man's sighs of contentment beneath him. It felt good, so damn good. He breathed in and out, sinking down to take in more of the man's cock. His body slowly adjusted to the sensation, and he gasped when the other man started kissing him, his tongue sliding along his lips.
Jun moved as much as their rather tight fit in the chair together allowed, moaning as Sensei's cock drove deeper and harder as they went along. He was full, totally full, with the other man's cock inside him and his tongue in his mouth. Sensei's hands were everywhere. In his hair as he deepened their kiss, sweaty fingers slipping along the muscles of his back before finally they moved down, squeezing Jun's ass.
They stayed like that even after Sensei came, Jun taking slight advantage of his partner's euphoria to suck along his collarbone, hearing the other man still whispering his name. There'd be marks there when he got home. Jun at least had the watch. Now Sensei would have his own proof of their connection.
It was longer tonight, their time together, and Sensei's touch on his skin was more lingering, a bit more needy than usual. He was less arrogant, and Jun found it all the more satisfying. If anything, their times together revolved around sex and Jun didn't have much of a problem with it. He was already addicted to it, already craved it. Already missed the feeling of the other man inside him when they lingered at the door, their swollen lips pressed together in near desperation.
"Tell me something more," Jun begged. "I've called you Sensei, haven't I? Tell me something or let me see you...please..."
"Well," he said, voice shaky. "Why don't you tell me something too? Fair's fair, Jun."
"But I've given you my name," he said huffily, sliding his fingers in the man's belt loops, reining himself in so he didn't strip him naked and beg for it again. "You've only given me a title. A nickname."
"And a really nice watch..."
"Fuck you," he whispered teasingly, rewarded with a graze of Sensei's teeth to his bottom lip. "It's not like I'm going to tattle on you and out myself at the same time..."
And somehow that set the man off, making him tremble in Jun's arms.
"What do you want me to say, Jun? That I lead a boring existence? That nobody knows I'm gay? That I can only be who I really am, who I want to be, inside this gaudy room? That they've set me up with a bunch of assholes here, but I kept trying because I didn't know how else to find someone? And that you're the first I've actually liked? That you're the first to actually open up that stupid wrapper and wear a blindfold for me, simply because I asked? That you haven't made fun of me for asking that of you? That I put little reminders in my phone that I get to see you as a way of getting through the day? That I'm going to go home and call Inoue-san first thing in the morning and beg her to set something up for tomorrow?" Sensei's hands found his back, pulling him closer. He was shaking. "How many somethings is that? Do you know enough about me now?"
"Sensei..."
"My name," the other man gritted out, "is Sho."
Jun was stunned. This wasn't just a game to him. He'd come to the Face Down Club just like Jun, nervous as hell and desperate to be matched. To find someone suitable. To be himself, if just for an hour. If just long enough to find release. But unlike Jun, he hadn't gotten lucky on his first time. Unlike Jun he'd been suffering, craving another person's understanding. There was a human being here in the room with him, not just a good fuck. All he could think to do was move to the blindfold, itching to take it off, but the other man stopped him. Sho stopped him.
"Please, don't. Not yet." He sighed. "I'm sorry this got so fucking dramatic...I just..."
Jun could only kiss him, taking the initiative and hoping it was okay. He kissed him quiet, kissed him until he calmed down, righted himself. Became the Sensei in control Jun had been so immediately attracted to, even without seeing his face.
"None of that was a lie," Sho said. It felt so good to put a name with the voice now. It made him all the more real. "I hadn't been here in a year when Inoue-san called about you. I almost turned her down..."
"We can just talk next time," Jun admitted. "I know the decor's a bit singularly focused, but if you want to talk I'll listen."
"Have you seen yourself in a mirror?" Sho asked, voice still a little skittish as he stroked Jun's face. "I doubt that I could limit myself to just talking..."
Jun felt his skin go hot.
"I think we have a lot in common, you and I," Sho continued. "We've both been unhappy and alone for a little too long. We don't even know how to take compliments any longer."
He laughed, skin still burning with all the attention. He was only used to praise where his job was concerned. But he'd sensed it from the beginning, this connection with a stranger. A stranger who now had a name, an unfulfilled life that the Face Down Club was now attempting to fix.
"Call Inoue-san tomorrow. I'll be here, and we can talk. Or not talk, I guess. If you haven't noticed, I like that part too."
Sho responded with a shove and a laugh, his hand on the doorknob. "Good night, Jun."
"Good night," he replied, stopping just short of calling Sho by name. He kept it for himself instead.
--
Despite their little heart to heart, not talking still won out over talking. Sho requested Jun every night for two weeks straight. They exchanged pleasantries and called each other by name, but the allure of the secretive Face Down Club kept most of their encounters physical.
Sho did reveal a reason as to why, revealing more about himself in the process - his school was being audited by a few upper class families who were considering sending their children. His days were stressful and would be for another week as the parents watched over his classes like a hawk. In return, he had a lot of tension to release and Jun didn't much mind. He sucked Sho off one night and got bent over room 605's chair and fucked from behind another.
In those two weeks he learned Sho's body better than his own, learning only by touch, by scent, and by taste. He learned what turned Sho on and what didn't work as well. Sho learned him in equal measure, finding just the right phrases to whisper in Jun's ear, the filthiest words to say that made Jun putty in his hands, a slave to that deep, confident voice.
And after what was quite possibly the most satisfying, most exhausting two weeks of his life, he inadvertently discovered Sho's secret. What Sho worked so hard to hide.
It explained how Sho could be a teacher and could still buy Jun an expensive watch on a whim. How he could demand a room at the Face Down Club fourteen nights in a row on the same teacher's salary. It also explained why Jun thought Sho's voice had been so familiar.
He was walking back from the club, having parted ways with Sho, coming upon Shibuya Station to grab a taxi. The city was still lit up even though the trains had stopped for the night, CMs playing and other promotional billboards lit up like a neon Christmas display.
He hadn't even been paying attention until he heard the voice, turning his head. It lasted no longer than 30 seconds and was a CM that had played for years on TV. He'd just never thought to make the connection. After all, why would he? Sakurai Success Academy, a national chain of renowned juku. The most prestigious private schools offering supplementary curriculum in Japan, the CM boasted, with a 90% plus acceptance rate to Todai, Waseda, and other leading universities.
Jun stood there, steps from Hachiko, as the school's wealthy founder Sakurai Shun smiled with his son and heir Sakurai Sho at his side, the pair of them in matching gray suits and ugly red ties, children of all ages cheering behind them. The two men looked very much alike, the son with bright eyes and a handsome, intelligent face.
"Sakurai Success..." Sho announced cheerfully as the children chimed in with "Academy!" behind him.
The screen switched over to a beer ad, and Jun felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He'd betrayed Sho's trust, and he hadn't even meant to. But there was no way to erase what he'd seen. Because it had been him. The voice that whispered in his ear, who complained about students as though he could have worked at any school in the country. The man who said Jun's name in a breathy gasp when he came.
Now he understood why Sho had been so insistent on privacy. And probably why he'd been so desperate for a partner who'd wear a blindfold. His toothy, upbeat smile and dorky dad-matching tie had been on display in the cheesy commercial for years. Anybody would probably know him. And the patrons at the Face Down Club probably had. It was why Sho had nearly given up on the place.
He didn't know what to do. The surprise was gone. Sho wouldn't get to reveal his identity on his own terms. It wasn't necessarily Jun's fault, but he was still crushed by guilt. Jun had lived for years worried that someone would ruin his career, jeopardize his future. And who was he, really? Just a pastry chef in the restaurant of a second rate hotel. Sakurai Sho was the heir to a company. A company involved entirely with the children of Japan's elite circles. People's ignorance and intolerance would easily destroy the business if Sho's secret was out.
Sho's fantasy, wanting someone who didn't know him, had no preconceptions about him, had been crushed again. Unable to go through the motions, unwilling to show up and put on the blindfold and keep up the pretense, when Inoue-san called the following morning, Jun claimed to be ill and unable to pick up his suit. For the first time, he had startled the woman, hearing her clear her throat to regain her composure. "Please get well soon, Matsumoto-san. We will hold your suit until you are able to come in."
He hung up, wondering if he'd made the right decision at all.
--
Inoue-san called for the next three days, wishing him good health and nothing more. People got sick all the time, Jun figured. Until he knew what to do about Sho, he couldn't bear to see him. Couldn't bear to lie to him. Would this ruin everything? He'd spent only hours with Sakurai Sho and had spent the majority of that time naked and begging for more. So why did he feel so compelled to keep the man's secret? Why did he feel this way about him so quickly, so deeply?
He lost focus at work, ruining an apple cake with a careless, foolish abuse of cinnamon to the point that even Aiba-kun scolded him. Nino took him aside, away from prying eyes, to give him a shake.
"You're up and down more than a teenager," Nino complained. "What is that place doing to you? I should never have sent you there if it's this fucking shady..."
"It's not shady," he protested. "I met someone..."
"Who has broken your heart already. Is it Watch Guy? Did he turn out to be a complete prick?" Nino scowled. "What's his name? I'll go set him on fire..."
Jun shut his eyes. "He didn't want me to find out who he was, and I still found out. He wanted everything to be a secret, and now I know and I feel like shit, alright?"
Nino stared at him. "Do you like him?"
He opened his eyes and stared back. "Obviously."
"And does he like you?"
"I think so."
"You think so? Jun-kun, were we looking at the same watch in that little gift box? He sent you that after what, one handjob from you?"
He sighed in disgust. "Nino..."
"Aside from today's fuck-up, you've been floating around here like there's birds chirping and choirs singing about your brand new love affair. And honestly, you've been far easier to deal with," Nino said, crossing his arms. "Your station is the one I'm least worried about and that includes Aiba-chan's mishap with the pumpkin filling. You're happy, I've never seen you so happy, and damn it, it's even warming up my black heart. So what does it matter if you've found him out? You obviously care enough not to tell anyone else about him, whoever he is, Mr. Watch. You're not posting his name and dick size on an online forum."
He looked down, shaking his head. "But it's the one thing he's asked of me so far. That he'd open up to me on his own terms. It's not exactly simple you know, finding someone you can trust, someone who's looking for something more. One breach of that trust can ruin everything."
"Well in life, Jun-kun, we don't always get to follow the easiest course, and you know that. Maybe you should just even the playing field. Tell him yeah, surprise, you know his name, his address, all his dirty laundry. And then don't apologize for it. Offer an equivalent exchange. Tell him the same about you. If it's a real connection and he genuinely likes you then he obviously won't care if you know his fucking name. Unless it's like, the Prime Minister maybe? Though I don't get gay vibes from him..."
Jun chuckled. Somehow Nino always managed to cut through the shit, to turn off the leaking faucet that was Jun's mental process most of the time. Maybe it was as easy as that. If Sho hadn't trusted him so far, he'd have never even hinted at his profession, given how easily Jun had been able to make the connection. The two of them were a damn good match, Jun realized. The two of them were too easily frightened, too stubborn. They simply had to be willing to trust each other.
Nino punched him in the arm. "Get back to work already. Maybe you should just bring him a fucking cake. Cake makes everything better."
--
He responded positively to the next call from Inoue-san, hoping Sho got the message and wasn't too angry. Though Jun supposed if things had gone the other way around, Sho turning him down three days in a row, that he'd be petrified. Frightened that everything they'd built had been lost.
He did in fact follow Nino's sound advice, bringing one of his signature sweet potato cupcakes with extra icing to the Face Down Club that night. They were still in reliable 605, and Jun skipped the shower and skipped the blindfold, sitting in the chair and deciding that tonight was going to be the night they had their talk. He left the cupcake by the Lawson bag, specially wrapped and tied with ribbon.
Sho was early, and Jun couldn't help hoping it was because he was thrilled to have him back. The keycard swiped and the door opened, and Sho stood there in the doorway, eyes frightened at the sight of Jun staring back at him, right at his face.
Sho turned to leave, and Jun got to his feet. "Wait. Please wait. I can explain."
When Sho did enter the room, he looked an odd mixture of furious and mortified, staying back against the door like a frightened animal. "Were you even sick?" Sho asked.
The red walls and low lighting cast shadows on his face, but it was definitely him. Sakurai Sho of Sakurai Success Academy, but minus the cheesy tie and mostly minus the I'm-on-TV smile. He was perfect in Jun's eyes, his dark hair brushed across his brow, his face round, his eyes large, his lips almost begging to be kissed. He wore a dark blazer with a v-neck underneath, dark trousers. He'd probably come from proctoring a practice exam at one of his family's schools.
"I saw your commercial," Jun admitted. "And I put two and two together." He moved aside, gesturing to the chair. "You can sit, okay? It's okay..."
Sho slid out of the blazer, taking none of his usual care. He let it drop to the floor and he nearly collapsed into the chair, holding his face in his hands. "When you didn't come," Sho said, sounding ashamed, "I figured it was because you found out. You didn't want the complication."
Jun crouched down, keeping his hands to himself. "Is that what happened before? Someone didn't want the complication of being with you?"
"Jun, I'm divorced," Sho said, looking up and meeting his eyes for the first time. "I have a four year old son, and he is everything to me."
This was new to him. He hadn't thought to actually look Sho up on the Internet. Just knowing who he was had changed everything. Jun took this information in carefully. It explained a lot about Sho's secrecy.
"My ex doesn't really care what I do or what I am, and she'd never talk because she doesn't want Shinya's life to be a joke. But if anyone else found out, told our stakeholders, told the parents what I am, the business is ruined. And honestly, I could live with that. I really could. But it would follow my son, and I won't allow it."
"Sho, I would never tell anyone..."
"I've had to buy off people," Sho continued, ignoring him. "My whole life, you know. My father did it for me first, in high school. Came on to someone, had read him totally wrong. It's amazing what an apology on your hands and knees and a few million yen can do." He looked disgusted with himself, and it broke Jun's heart. "So I guess I kept up the practice. I picked the wrong people. People who saw me as nothing more than an ATM. People who said they genuinely liked me one day and then the next they had their hand out. Wanting something in exchange for staying quiet. So when I found Face Down I thought it was going to bring me the privacy I wanted because of my son, my family..."
Jun reached out, took Sho's hand. Was surprised by how hard the other man squeezed back.
"Nobody had time to mess around here. Not when they're paying for it," he said. "'I won't wear a fucking blindfold every time,' they said, 'what kind of messed up game are you playing?' 'Do you know who I am?'" Sho laughed bitterly. "I just didn't want people to know. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. But then you show up and within days I'm already telling you everything you need to put the pieces together anyway. I'm setting myself up to fail my son. I do everything for him, and I still come here because I can't hold it together."
He understood why Sho wanted control in this room. Why he was so happy to have someone submit to him, someone to obey him. Because everything else in his life was out of his hands.
Jun let him go, moving to grab the box he'd brought. He returned, slowly untying the ribbon as Sho watched him carefully. He opened it, letting out the heavenly smell. "My name is Matsumoto Jun. I'm thirty years old, and you are officially the longest relationship I've been in even though all we seem to do is fuck and until tonight I hadn't even seen your face in person. I think that should tell you a lot about how things have been for me in the dating department. I work as a patissier at the Skytree View Hotel's restaurant in Sumida. I am the best patissier you will ever meet, and I'm damn good at my job. When you eat this cupcake, you will want dozens more, and I'll make them."
He shoved the box at Sho, who took it with shaking hands.
"I found out who you were before you could tell me. That's how it is. I'm not here to take your money or play you false, and if you want the watch back as a token of good will, I'll give it back. I was scared to come to the Face Down Club because my biggest fear is someone finding out about me. So when I tell you that I can understand your worry and fear I hope you believe me. I've been sitting home alone for the past few nights and I haven't been sick except that I was worried I'd betrayed you just because I'd seen your commercial. That you'd never want to see me again because you're Batman and I discovered your true identity. If you think you're the type to overthink something to death, then you'll really get an education in it simply by knowing me. I am paranoid and particular and probably annoying as fuck because of it, but I really do think the cupcake speaks for itself."
He looked up, seeing the strangest smile crossing Sho's face.
"What?" Jun asked in exasperation.
"I have no idea what patissier means," Sho said before setting the cupcake box down and grabbing hold of his shirt and pulling him close.
When they kissed it was on an even playing field for the first time. There was no blindfold, no mystery. And for once they took it slow. Their eyes were both open, seeing everything as they stripped down. Jun got to see the person he'd only been able to imagine until now, to see the way he smiled when Jun leaned in to steal another kiss. He liked this person, the whole person, much more.
They were half clothed when they fell back against the chair, Sho pulling Jun on top of him. He sat still, seeing Sho bite his lip, obviously trying to be tough and not become emotional. He stroked his fingers over Jun's face, across his brow. Sho was seeing all of him for the first time too. How long had they both been searching? For someone to trust? Jun smiled. It felt so good to be found.
"It won't be easy, you know," Sho said. "We can't walk down the street and hold hands. Hell, we can't even go to an okama bar and do that."
"Don't care." He brushed his mouth against Sho's neck. "I'm not into public displays. Or okama bars."
"I live in a rather ritzy neighborhood. You can't come over, the neighbors would see..."
"Don't care," he said again, hearing Sho gasp when he nipped at the hollow of his throat. "You can visit me instead. I live in a busy complex, and I don't even know what my neighbors look like."
"Be cheaper than this place..."
"And I'll bake for you. Plus I have an actual bed," Jun added. "Not that this place hasn't promoted the benefits of chairs."
Sho slipped his hand between them, cocking his head. "Why don't we promote the benefits of chairs then? One last time?"
To think, all this had started with a red business card and wishful thinking. With a nearly empty room, a leather chair, and a plastic bag in the corner.
Jun nodded his agreement, sighing in contentment when Sho's hand closed firmly around his erection. "And this time I get to watch."
He spent the next few days confused and frustrated. He'd been so turned on, had loved the secrecy and tension the encounter with the stranger had brought about. But he'd been left hanging, not knowing a thing about the person he'd been with. And then of course he'd been stupid enough to give his name so easily, receiving no such courtesy in return.
Every time his phone vibrated with a call or mail message, he anxiously checked it, wondering if it would be the calm voice of Inoue-san informing him that yet another suit was ready. Nino seemed to sense that something had happened, something that Jun wasn't ready or willing to talk about. He steered clear for once, and Jun was grateful for it.
As the days passed and his anger and confusion subsided, Jun decided that he was being overly presumptuous about what the Face Down Club was really about. He'd had an enjoyable if non-traditional experience. He'd had privacy. And it had only been the first time. What more did he need? He'd apologize to his partner for being rude...if he ever did go ahead and set up another session.
Instead of a call from Inoue-san, however, Jun was surprised by the sudden arrival of a package during work hours four days after his first session, addressed to him with no return identification. It was a small, narrow box, and he shoved it in his locker before the other staff could see, returning to the kitchen and his own work. Nino found him later that evening, grinning from ear to ear. "Gifts from a secret admirer?" his friend asked.
Jun took the package from his locker, unwrapping it and gasping in surprise. Even Nino was speechless at the sight of the watch inside. Not a Rolex, but far from cheap. Maybe two months' rent for Jun easily. Smuggled inside the watch box was a handwritten note that simply said "I'm sorry."
"Jesus," Nino finally said. "Are you that good?"
Jun shoved the note in his pocket, closing the watch case and slipping it into his jacket. No return address, no mention of Rainbow Dry Cleaners. But Jun was convinced his mysterious partner was behind this. He'd probably gone through the Face Down Club, arranging for the gift to be sent to Jun quietly.
He didn't know what to think. He'd never gotten such an extravagant gift in his entire life. He'd learned something altogether new about the person the Face Down Club had matched him with - he was either extremely wealthy or extremely reckless with his money.
When he got back to his apartment that night, he set the watch on the table, listened to its precise ticking. How could he accept such a thing from someone he barely knew? Was this the type of person who bought people off regularly? Or was the feeling behind it genuine? It was a beautiful watch, elegant and so perfectly matched to his tastes. It wasn't a frivolous purchase, not something a person went in and picked on a whim.
Who was he? A politician used to bribes? Some executive earning millions? Some business conglomerate heir?
Jun answered Inoue-san's phone call on the first ring just as he was getting into bed. Her pre-recorded voice requested he arrive at noon to pick up his suit tomorrow. This time Jun was going to accessorize a bit.
--
He was assigned to 605 once again, but this time there was a little more confidence in his step as he climbed the stairs, swiping the card on the sixth floor. The room was unchanged - the chair, the tiny bathroom, and the red, red walls. Even the bag on the floor with a newly purchased black sleep mask, still wrapped in plastic.
The envelope on the chair bid him to repeat the process from last time - shower, blindfold, sit and wait. He obeyed, this time stripping bare, placing himself on the cool leather seat with the watch as his only adornment. This time he decided to let his partner know everything he had paid for.
The man arrived earlier this time, swiping his card and opening the door. Jun heard it close almost immediately, the stranger scrambling with the lock.
His voice was light, happy. Perhaps he was pleased at Jun's decision to disrobe entirely. "You have no idea how glad I am that that watch got to you. I'm not used to doing things that way."
Jun lifted his wrist, feeling the weight of it against his skin. "That's some apology." He cocked his head. "I didn't mean to give off the impression that I was angry with you...that I expected to be compensated for my trouble..."
The guy took off his shoes, shed his clothes. "You didn't have a watch. Now you do. It looks perfect on you. And that's all there is to it." He sensed the stranger's approach. "I'm showering. I want you to stay absolutely still in this chair until I return."
Jun nodded, growing anxious once again. But unlike last time he wanted to keep his expectations reasonable. The guy had bought him an expensive watch. He wasn't taking Jun and the Face Down Club set-up lightly. It was only a few minutes before the stranger was back, damp fingers stroking along Jun's arms.
"Here, slip it off. I'll put it by your shoes," the man said, already undoing the watch's clasp. Good thinking. He felt the weight lift, heard the man's feet slap against the floor and then return.
On their previous encounter, his partner had initiated all the contact, had kept his distance. Now Jun felt the stranger's hands grasp his, pull him up and out of the chair. And then he was flush against him, gasp lost in the other man's mouth. He'd barely toweled off from the shower, and Jun found his body wet to the touch. Without removing the blindfold, he took his time discovering and his partner allowed him.
His lips were soft, had the slightest medicinal-smelling hint of lip balm. The stranger's hands found the small of Jun's back, pulled their bodies together. The both of them barefoot, Jun discovered they were of a similar height. Jun was maybe a few millimeters taller. The other man's cock was already hard, pressing against Jun's thigh as they kissed.
Jun touched every bit he could, reveling in the opportunity. There was not the distance of their previous encounter. He grasped at the man's face, finding his skin smooth. He broke their kiss, brushing his fingers across the other man's lips, tracing them, exploring his cheekbones, his jaw as though he were blind. He moved down, touching where he could. The man's neck was thicker, his shoulders narrower than Jun's and more angled. But it was the body of someone who took care of himself. His arms were firm, his ab muscles firmly defined. And his ass...
"Greedy," the man said when Jun's hands moved from front to back, sliding down and grabbing hold. "Jun, you are the greedy type."
It felt so good to hear his name coming from the stranger's mouth, from those lips he wanted to kiss again and again. So he did just that, hearing something close to a growl of pleasure emerge from his partner. A sexy voice, a great body. He'd never hit the jackpot like this before. He didn't want this appointment, this night, to end.
"When will you tell me your name?" Jun asked, trying to commit all of this to memory, groaning in delight when the other man reached between them, stroked his cock. "Do you plan to tell me anything?"
The man released him, turning them so Jun's back was to him. He was rewarded with firm kisses to his nape, along his shoulders and shoulder blades. "Prove yourself to me, then," the man said. "Come back to me whenever I ask for you. Then maybe I'll tell you."
"How come you're keeping me in the dark?"
"Because," the stranger said, tracing his finger down Jun's spine and making him jump. "It pisses you off, doesn't it?"
Jun chuckled a bit, wishing he could go back in time, make a few adjustments to his paperwork. He didn't want to be out of control forever.
"Suck me off tonight," the man whispered, tongue curling around his ear lobe. "And maybe next time I'll fuck you."
"I'll suck you off," Jun said in reply, "and then next time you tell me one thing about yourself. And then you can do whatever you want to me."
"You're negotiating with me? When I got that call from Inoue-san saying she's got someone perfect for me? Someone open to being toyed with? Someone who'll let me run the show?"
Jun had a difficult time imagining anything of the sort coming from the prim and proper Inoue-san. But it did make him wonder just what kind of details were on this stranger's form, what exactly he was looking for.
"Jun, I asked you a question." He was reprimanded with a jab of fingers to his side, catching him in a ticklish spot and making him squirm.
"It's not a negotiation, not precisely," he managed to say, only to feel the other man yank him along. He was shoved down to his knees, heard the sound of body meeting leather as his partner settled himself in the chair. "I just think it would make me want to please you more. If I got to know you."
"I see."
Jun inched along the floor until he found the other man's legs, spread wide so Jun could kneel easily between them. His partner was sitting at the edge of the cushion, his fingers moving to the back of Jun's head to get him into place.
"Show me how good that mouth of yours is, and I may consider readjusting my timetable."
It was enough to spur him on, hearing the challenge in the other man's voice. As though an order had come in at the restaurant, some food critic ready to scoff at whatever was presented. These were the challenges Jun liked best.
He spent the better part of an hour proving his talents, licking and sucking at the stranger's perfect cock, stopping to take a breather and rest his hardworking jaw every time he came close to orgasm. At first, the stranger wasn't so fond of the teasing, but Jun made up for it, brushing gentle kisses to his stomach, along the sensitive skin of his thighs. Touching and stroking, unrelenting. It was Jun's name, husky and almost breathless on his partner's lips when he finally came, fingers tangled up in his hair and gasping.
It was quiet for a while after that, Jun waiting patiently at the man's feet, hearing him struggle to catch his breath. He was finally rewarded with the relaxed sound of the other man's laughter.
"That was...that was..." he said, unable to find the words. "You're so perfect, I don't deserve you."
Jun felt his cheeks flush at the unadulterated praise. He was helped to his feet, slightly embarrassed. "Thank you," was all he could say.
He was ordered to stay where he was, feeling the slightest disappointment when the man pulled on his clothes, zipped up his jacket. Soon the man was behind him, embracing him, resting his cheek against Jun's warm, bare skin. "As soon as I leave, I want you to touch yourself. Touch yourself and think of me. Will you do that?" Jun nodded. "Just think about how hard I'm going to fuck you the next time we meet. That should help you along, right?"
He couldn't help groaning, feeling the man's fingers graze along his hip bones. "And Jun?"
"Yes?"
"Something about me...something about me." The stranger searched for the words, fingers tracing figure eights on Jun's skin possessively. "Why don't you call me 'Sensei' next time?"
"You're a doctor? A teacher?"
The other man's fingers danced across his skin, sliding along his stomach. "Wear your watch."
Then he was gone, opening and closing the door firmly. Jun stumbled his way to the shower, leaving his blindfold on as he turned on the water. His moans echoed off the bathroom tile, imagining not his own hand but the stranger's as he jerked himself off.
--
The Face Down Club slowly became an addiction for Jun as well as for his mystery man, Sensei. There'd been five days between the first and second sessions, but Inoue-san called Jun only three days later and Jun eagerly awaited their next encounter. He wasn't used to this, to second times and thirds. He wasn't used to someone specifically demanding him, not like this.
He wore his watch everywhere as requested. Out for groceries, sitting in front of the TV. He even kept it in the pocket of his jacket at work, unwilling to leave it at home or in his locker. Nino sensed the change in him, sneaking smiles across the steaming kitchen, even managing a thumbs up that made Jun blush.
Sensei. Why don't you call me 'Sensei' next time? What kind of teacher's salary could afford a watch like that? Lawyer was a possibility, but this man and Jun kept late schedules. Maybe doctor was the more logical solution. Or maybe this guy was just arrogant, Jun told himself. Maybe he was just teasing.
He kneaded dough, frosted cakes with almost infuriating precision, all in sharp contrast to the personality he kept on display for Sensei. The all too willing acolyte. Sensei's pupil, he thought with a laugh. Sensei's difficult patient who had to be taught a lesson.
Jun was still a little shocked when their time arrived, and he found himself once again in the sparsely appointed room. Sensei had been all too clear about the evening's itinerary but he apparently hadn't thought a room with a bed was necessary. He waited diligently in the chair as he had the previous time, wearing his watch and eagerly awaiting the man's arrival.
He was late this time, apologizing by greeting Jun with a kiss so full of need that it made him weak in the knees. "Sensei," he murmured when he was finally released, hearing the other man's spirited laugh.
"Perfect. Just what I wanted to hear."
He left Jun alone to go shower. It was tempting to remove the blindfold, tiptoe to the bathroom and at least take a glance at his mysterious lover. But then the game would be over. He didn't dare break the rules, no matter how much the curiosity was killing him. The man's body, the man's warm mouth and tongue would have to satisfy him. This was only their third meeting. If he wanted a fourth, he'd obey.
When the man returned, he decided that their first real fuck would be far more intimate than Jun had expected. He found himself facing his partner, straddling his lap as he sat in the chair. Completely blind, he could only squeeze his partner's shoulders and the back of the chair, biting his lip hard as he hovered a bit awkwardly above him. He heard the other man tear open a condom wrapper, settling it on himself. Then he stroked Jun's cock, teasing him for a while before slipping his hand lower. Sensei's fingers found his tight hole, slowly working him open. Jun wanted him so badly that he couldn't help urging Sensei along, gasping as the other man stroked inside him.
Finally, he couldn't take much more, begging in a way he'd never done before. His fingernails dug into the leather seat as their bodies came together, Jun taking Sensei in slowly, feeling the other man's sighs of contentment beneath him. It felt good, so damn good. He breathed in and out, sinking down to take in more of the man's cock. His body slowly adjusted to the sensation, and he gasped when the other man started kissing him, his tongue sliding along his lips.
Jun moved as much as their rather tight fit in the chair together allowed, moaning as Sensei's cock drove deeper and harder as they went along. He was full, totally full, with the other man's cock inside him and his tongue in his mouth. Sensei's hands were everywhere. In his hair as he deepened their kiss, sweaty fingers slipping along the muscles of his back before finally they moved down, squeezing Jun's ass.
They stayed like that even after Sensei came, Jun taking slight advantage of his partner's euphoria to suck along his collarbone, hearing the other man still whispering his name. There'd be marks there when he got home. Jun at least had the watch. Now Sensei would have his own proof of their connection.
It was longer tonight, their time together, and Sensei's touch on his skin was more lingering, a bit more needy than usual. He was less arrogant, and Jun found it all the more satisfying. If anything, their times together revolved around sex and Jun didn't have much of a problem with it. He was already addicted to it, already craved it. Already missed the feeling of the other man inside him when they lingered at the door, their swollen lips pressed together in near desperation.
"Tell me something more," Jun begged. "I've called you Sensei, haven't I? Tell me something or let me see you...please..."
"Well," he said, voice shaky. "Why don't you tell me something too? Fair's fair, Jun."
"But I've given you my name," he said huffily, sliding his fingers in the man's belt loops, reining himself in so he didn't strip him naked and beg for it again. "You've only given me a title. A nickname."
"And a really nice watch..."
"Fuck you," he whispered teasingly, rewarded with a graze of Sensei's teeth to his bottom lip. "It's not like I'm going to tattle on you and out myself at the same time..."
And somehow that set the man off, making him tremble in Jun's arms.
"What do you want me to say, Jun? That I lead a boring existence? That nobody knows I'm gay? That I can only be who I really am, who I want to be, inside this gaudy room? That they've set me up with a bunch of assholes here, but I kept trying because I didn't know how else to find someone? And that you're the first I've actually liked? That you're the first to actually open up that stupid wrapper and wear a blindfold for me, simply because I asked? That you haven't made fun of me for asking that of you? That I put little reminders in my phone that I get to see you as a way of getting through the day? That I'm going to go home and call Inoue-san first thing in the morning and beg her to set something up for tomorrow?" Sensei's hands found his back, pulling him closer. He was shaking. "How many somethings is that? Do you know enough about me now?"
"Sensei..."
"My name," the other man gritted out, "is Sho."
Jun was stunned. This wasn't just a game to him. He'd come to the Face Down Club just like Jun, nervous as hell and desperate to be matched. To find someone suitable. To be himself, if just for an hour. If just long enough to find release. But unlike Jun, he hadn't gotten lucky on his first time. Unlike Jun he'd been suffering, craving another person's understanding. There was a human being here in the room with him, not just a good fuck. All he could think to do was move to the blindfold, itching to take it off, but the other man stopped him. Sho stopped him.
"Please, don't. Not yet." He sighed. "I'm sorry this got so fucking dramatic...I just..."
Jun could only kiss him, taking the initiative and hoping it was okay. He kissed him quiet, kissed him until he calmed down, righted himself. Became the Sensei in control Jun had been so immediately attracted to, even without seeing his face.
"None of that was a lie," Sho said. It felt so good to put a name with the voice now. It made him all the more real. "I hadn't been here in a year when Inoue-san called about you. I almost turned her down..."
"We can just talk next time," Jun admitted. "I know the decor's a bit singularly focused, but if you want to talk I'll listen."
"Have you seen yourself in a mirror?" Sho asked, voice still a little skittish as he stroked Jun's face. "I doubt that I could limit myself to just talking..."
Jun felt his skin go hot.
"I think we have a lot in common, you and I," Sho continued. "We've both been unhappy and alone for a little too long. We don't even know how to take compliments any longer."
He laughed, skin still burning with all the attention. He was only used to praise where his job was concerned. But he'd sensed it from the beginning, this connection with a stranger. A stranger who now had a name, an unfulfilled life that the Face Down Club was now attempting to fix.
"Call Inoue-san tomorrow. I'll be here, and we can talk. Or not talk, I guess. If you haven't noticed, I like that part too."
Sho responded with a shove and a laugh, his hand on the doorknob. "Good night, Jun."
"Good night," he replied, stopping just short of calling Sho by name. He kept it for himself instead.
--
Despite their little heart to heart, not talking still won out over talking. Sho requested Jun every night for two weeks straight. They exchanged pleasantries and called each other by name, but the allure of the secretive Face Down Club kept most of their encounters physical.
Sho did reveal a reason as to why, revealing more about himself in the process - his school was being audited by a few upper class families who were considering sending their children. His days were stressful and would be for another week as the parents watched over his classes like a hawk. In return, he had a lot of tension to release and Jun didn't much mind. He sucked Sho off one night and got bent over room 605's chair and fucked from behind another.
In those two weeks he learned Sho's body better than his own, learning only by touch, by scent, and by taste. He learned what turned Sho on and what didn't work as well. Sho learned him in equal measure, finding just the right phrases to whisper in Jun's ear, the filthiest words to say that made Jun putty in his hands, a slave to that deep, confident voice.
And after what was quite possibly the most satisfying, most exhausting two weeks of his life, he inadvertently discovered Sho's secret. What Sho worked so hard to hide.
It explained how Sho could be a teacher and could still buy Jun an expensive watch on a whim. How he could demand a room at the Face Down Club fourteen nights in a row on the same teacher's salary. It also explained why Jun thought Sho's voice had been so familiar.
He was walking back from the club, having parted ways with Sho, coming upon Shibuya Station to grab a taxi. The city was still lit up even though the trains had stopped for the night, CMs playing and other promotional billboards lit up like a neon Christmas display.
He hadn't even been paying attention until he heard the voice, turning his head. It lasted no longer than 30 seconds and was a CM that had played for years on TV. He'd just never thought to make the connection. After all, why would he? Sakurai Success Academy, a national chain of renowned juku. The most prestigious private schools offering supplementary curriculum in Japan, the CM boasted, with a 90% plus acceptance rate to Todai, Waseda, and other leading universities.
Jun stood there, steps from Hachiko, as the school's wealthy founder Sakurai Shun smiled with his son and heir Sakurai Sho at his side, the pair of them in matching gray suits and ugly red ties, children of all ages cheering behind them. The two men looked very much alike, the son with bright eyes and a handsome, intelligent face.
"Sakurai Success..." Sho announced cheerfully as the children chimed in with "Academy!" behind him.
The screen switched over to a beer ad, and Jun felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He'd betrayed Sho's trust, and he hadn't even meant to. But there was no way to erase what he'd seen. Because it had been him. The voice that whispered in his ear, who complained about students as though he could have worked at any school in the country. The man who said Jun's name in a breathy gasp when he came.
Now he understood why Sho had been so insistent on privacy. And probably why he'd been so desperate for a partner who'd wear a blindfold. His toothy, upbeat smile and dorky dad-matching tie had been on display in the cheesy commercial for years. Anybody would probably know him. And the patrons at the Face Down Club probably had. It was why Sho had nearly given up on the place.
He didn't know what to do. The surprise was gone. Sho wouldn't get to reveal his identity on his own terms. It wasn't necessarily Jun's fault, but he was still crushed by guilt. Jun had lived for years worried that someone would ruin his career, jeopardize his future. And who was he, really? Just a pastry chef in the restaurant of a second rate hotel. Sakurai Sho was the heir to a company. A company involved entirely with the children of Japan's elite circles. People's ignorance and intolerance would easily destroy the business if Sho's secret was out.
Sho's fantasy, wanting someone who didn't know him, had no preconceptions about him, had been crushed again. Unable to go through the motions, unwilling to show up and put on the blindfold and keep up the pretense, when Inoue-san called the following morning, Jun claimed to be ill and unable to pick up his suit. For the first time, he had startled the woman, hearing her clear her throat to regain her composure. "Please get well soon, Matsumoto-san. We will hold your suit until you are able to come in."
He hung up, wondering if he'd made the right decision at all.
--
Inoue-san called for the next three days, wishing him good health and nothing more. People got sick all the time, Jun figured. Until he knew what to do about Sho, he couldn't bear to see him. Couldn't bear to lie to him. Would this ruin everything? He'd spent only hours with Sakurai Sho and had spent the majority of that time naked and begging for more. So why did he feel so compelled to keep the man's secret? Why did he feel this way about him so quickly, so deeply?
He lost focus at work, ruining an apple cake with a careless, foolish abuse of cinnamon to the point that even Aiba-kun scolded him. Nino took him aside, away from prying eyes, to give him a shake.
"You're up and down more than a teenager," Nino complained. "What is that place doing to you? I should never have sent you there if it's this fucking shady..."
"It's not shady," he protested. "I met someone..."
"Who has broken your heart already. Is it Watch Guy? Did he turn out to be a complete prick?" Nino scowled. "What's his name? I'll go set him on fire..."
Jun shut his eyes. "He didn't want me to find out who he was, and I still found out. He wanted everything to be a secret, and now I know and I feel like shit, alright?"
Nino stared at him. "Do you like him?"
He opened his eyes and stared back. "Obviously."
"And does he like you?"
"I think so."
"You think so? Jun-kun, were we looking at the same watch in that little gift box? He sent you that after what, one handjob from you?"
He sighed in disgust. "Nino..."
"Aside from today's fuck-up, you've been floating around here like there's birds chirping and choirs singing about your brand new love affair. And honestly, you've been far easier to deal with," Nino said, crossing his arms. "Your station is the one I'm least worried about and that includes Aiba-chan's mishap with the pumpkin filling. You're happy, I've never seen you so happy, and damn it, it's even warming up my black heart. So what does it matter if you've found him out? You obviously care enough not to tell anyone else about him, whoever he is, Mr. Watch. You're not posting his name and dick size on an online forum."
He looked down, shaking his head. "But it's the one thing he's asked of me so far. That he'd open up to me on his own terms. It's not exactly simple you know, finding someone you can trust, someone who's looking for something more. One breach of that trust can ruin everything."
"Well in life, Jun-kun, we don't always get to follow the easiest course, and you know that. Maybe you should just even the playing field. Tell him yeah, surprise, you know his name, his address, all his dirty laundry. And then don't apologize for it. Offer an equivalent exchange. Tell him the same about you. If it's a real connection and he genuinely likes you then he obviously won't care if you know his fucking name. Unless it's like, the Prime Minister maybe? Though I don't get gay vibes from him..."
Jun chuckled. Somehow Nino always managed to cut through the shit, to turn off the leaking faucet that was Jun's mental process most of the time. Maybe it was as easy as that. If Sho hadn't trusted him so far, he'd have never even hinted at his profession, given how easily Jun had been able to make the connection. The two of them were a damn good match, Jun realized. The two of them were too easily frightened, too stubborn. They simply had to be willing to trust each other.
Nino punched him in the arm. "Get back to work already. Maybe you should just bring him a fucking cake. Cake makes everything better."
--
He responded positively to the next call from Inoue-san, hoping Sho got the message and wasn't too angry. Though Jun supposed if things had gone the other way around, Sho turning him down three days in a row, that he'd be petrified. Frightened that everything they'd built had been lost.
He did in fact follow Nino's sound advice, bringing one of his signature sweet potato cupcakes with extra icing to the Face Down Club that night. They were still in reliable 605, and Jun skipped the shower and skipped the blindfold, sitting in the chair and deciding that tonight was going to be the night they had their talk. He left the cupcake by the Lawson bag, specially wrapped and tied with ribbon.
Sho was early, and Jun couldn't help hoping it was because he was thrilled to have him back. The keycard swiped and the door opened, and Sho stood there in the doorway, eyes frightened at the sight of Jun staring back at him, right at his face.
Sho turned to leave, and Jun got to his feet. "Wait. Please wait. I can explain."
When Sho did enter the room, he looked an odd mixture of furious and mortified, staying back against the door like a frightened animal. "Were you even sick?" Sho asked.
The red walls and low lighting cast shadows on his face, but it was definitely him. Sakurai Sho of Sakurai Success Academy, but minus the cheesy tie and mostly minus the I'm-on-TV smile. He was perfect in Jun's eyes, his dark hair brushed across his brow, his face round, his eyes large, his lips almost begging to be kissed. He wore a dark blazer with a v-neck underneath, dark trousers. He'd probably come from proctoring a practice exam at one of his family's schools.
"I saw your commercial," Jun admitted. "And I put two and two together." He moved aside, gesturing to the chair. "You can sit, okay? It's okay..."
Sho slid out of the blazer, taking none of his usual care. He let it drop to the floor and he nearly collapsed into the chair, holding his face in his hands. "When you didn't come," Sho said, sounding ashamed, "I figured it was because you found out. You didn't want the complication."
Jun crouched down, keeping his hands to himself. "Is that what happened before? Someone didn't want the complication of being with you?"
"Jun, I'm divorced," Sho said, looking up and meeting his eyes for the first time. "I have a four year old son, and he is everything to me."
This was new to him. He hadn't thought to actually look Sho up on the Internet. Just knowing who he was had changed everything. Jun took this information in carefully. It explained a lot about Sho's secrecy.
"My ex doesn't really care what I do or what I am, and she'd never talk because she doesn't want Shinya's life to be a joke. But if anyone else found out, told our stakeholders, told the parents what I am, the business is ruined. And honestly, I could live with that. I really could. But it would follow my son, and I won't allow it."
"Sho, I would never tell anyone..."
"I've had to buy off people," Sho continued, ignoring him. "My whole life, you know. My father did it for me first, in high school. Came on to someone, had read him totally wrong. It's amazing what an apology on your hands and knees and a few million yen can do." He looked disgusted with himself, and it broke Jun's heart. "So I guess I kept up the practice. I picked the wrong people. People who saw me as nothing more than an ATM. People who said they genuinely liked me one day and then the next they had their hand out. Wanting something in exchange for staying quiet. So when I found Face Down I thought it was going to bring me the privacy I wanted because of my son, my family..."
Jun reached out, took Sho's hand. Was surprised by how hard the other man squeezed back.
"Nobody had time to mess around here. Not when they're paying for it," he said. "'I won't wear a fucking blindfold every time,' they said, 'what kind of messed up game are you playing?' 'Do you know who I am?'" Sho laughed bitterly. "I just didn't want people to know. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. But then you show up and within days I'm already telling you everything you need to put the pieces together anyway. I'm setting myself up to fail my son. I do everything for him, and I still come here because I can't hold it together."
He understood why Sho wanted control in this room. Why he was so happy to have someone submit to him, someone to obey him. Because everything else in his life was out of his hands.
Jun let him go, moving to grab the box he'd brought. He returned, slowly untying the ribbon as Sho watched him carefully. He opened it, letting out the heavenly smell. "My name is Matsumoto Jun. I'm thirty years old, and you are officially the longest relationship I've been in even though all we seem to do is fuck and until tonight I hadn't even seen your face in person. I think that should tell you a lot about how things have been for me in the dating department. I work as a patissier at the Skytree View Hotel's restaurant in Sumida. I am the best patissier you will ever meet, and I'm damn good at my job. When you eat this cupcake, you will want dozens more, and I'll make them."
He shoved the box at Sho, who took it with shaking hands.
"I found out who you were before you could tell me. That's how it is. I'm not here to take your money or play you false, and if you want the watch back as a token of good will, I'll give it back. I was scared to come to the Face Down Club because my biggest fear is someone finding out about me. So when I tell you that I can understand your worry and fear I hope you believe me. I've been sitting home alone for the past few nights and I haven't been sick except that I was worried I'd betrayed you just because I'd seen your commercial. That you'd never want to see me again because you're Batman and I discovered your true identity. If you think you're the type to overthink something to death, then you'll really get an education in it simply by knowing me. I am paranoid and particular and probably annoying as fuck because of it, but I really do think the cupcake speaks for itself."
He looked up, seeing the strangest smile crossing Sho's face.
"What?" Jun asked in exasperation.
"I have no idea what patissier means," Sho said before setting the cupcake box down and grabbing hold of his shirt and pulling him close.
When they kissed it was on an even playing field for the first time. There was no blindfold, no mystery. And for once they took it slow. Their eyes were both open, seeing everything as they stripped down. Jun got to see the person he'd only been able to imagine until now, to see the way he smiled when Jun leaned in to steal another kiss. He liked this person, the whole person, much more.
They were half clothed when they fell back against the chair, Sho pulling Jun on top of him. He sat still, seeing Sho bite his lip, obviously trying to be tough and not become emotional. He stroked his fingers over Jun's face, across his brow. Sho was seeing all of him for the first time too. How long had they both been searching? For someone to trust? Jun smiled. It felt so good to be found.
"It won't be easy, you know," Sho said. "We can't walk down the street and hold hands. Hell, we can't even go to an okama bar and do that."
"Don't care." He brushed his mouth against Sho's neck. "I'm not into public displays. Or okama bars."
"I live in a rather ritzy neighborhood. You can't come over, the neighbors would see..."
"Don't care," he said again, hearing Sho gasp when he nipped at the hollow of his throat. "You can visit me instead. I live in a busy complex, and I don't even know what my neighbors look like."
"Be cheaper than this place..."
"And I'll bake for you. Plus I have an actual bed," Jun added. "Not that this place hasn't promoted the benefits of chairs."
Sho slipped his hand between them, cocking his head. "Why don't we promote the benefits of chairs then? One last time?"
To think, all this had started with a red business card and wishful thinking. With a nearly empty room, a leather chair, and a plastic bag in the corner.
Jun nodded his agreement, sighing in contentment when Sho's hand closed firmly around his erection. "And this time I get to watch."