Another strange dream
A few days ago I had one of these strange dreams I have sometimes. I was given a bible and asked to go to church (I’m an atheist). I opened the book and it was written in an alphabet that I couldn’t read. Except for one page: it was full of mathematical equations and they all made sense to me (and I’m pretty sure they would never make sense to me in real life). I took a blue pen and underlined some of these equations that made even more sense to me. Then I was in the church and suddenly there was one autistic woman I am working with, who never speaks. She was sitting beside me and we opened our books at the same time and discovered at the same time that we both (and were the only ones) that had this page of mathematical content in it. And she had underlined it with a blue pen too. Our eyes met and our faces were filled with a ferocious joy of understanding something that we were sure absolutely no one else could understand. Part of the joy came of the fact that we could share it with one another.
This morning, I woke up with a persistent sadness about feeling lonely sometimes. It made me wonder about this part of us that is so unique that we can never share it with anyone, and how lonely it feels sometimes, at least for me. I also wondered about the things we share and the things we miss at work, as a team sharing our days with autistic people. I wonder if they feel lonely and misunderstood, or if they are content with their own world.
This morning, I woke up with a persistent sadness about feeling lonely sometimes. It made me wonder about this part of us that is so unique that we can never share it with anyone, and how lonely it feels sometimes, at least for me. I also wondered about the things we share and the things we miss at work, as a team sharing our days with autistic people. I wonder if they feel lonely and misunderstood, or if they are content with their own world.