Again...
I search desperately on my computer for the song I know that I need to hear. It's there somewhere in the mix of wires, files, circuits and shreds of my life. I find it and hurriedly open Winamp. I hit play and all at once, Daft Punk's "Something Between Us" is emitted from my small, but powerful slab of technology. "It might not be the right time, I might not be the right one..."
I lay on the plush green carpet on the floor of my room, looking upward, mesmerized by the fan. I watch the blades spin round and try my hardest to watch a single one of them as all five speed around the glow in the center. I look aside at the shadows it cast on the ceiling and on the far wall--the shadows that dance and play as if they belonged to a dozen ravers on a fast night at Gotham. Ironically, I try to distract my attention from the lyrics of the song I was so crazed to find. But I know that this is one of few songs, if not the only one, that my attention can not be torn from. "But there's something about us I want to say, cuz there's something between us, anyway..."
Laying there in the darkness, in the solitude of a room filled only with the sound of synthesizers, keyboards, and one lone voice, I remembered the first time I heard the song. I was crouched on the hardwood floor of my former room. The song followed a cryptic message that was sent along with it, and though I knew who it was coming from, I was more curious than I had ever been. I listened closely and the words washed over me smoothly "I might not be the right one. It might not be the right time"...so quickly the first time, that I doubted whether I heard the song at all. I pushed play and strained even harder this time to listen. "But there's something about us I've got to do. Some kind of secret I will share with you..." This time, I heard.
Now, in this new room of sorts, I lay spread eagle on the floor, completely absorbing every word and every beat that reverberated from my dimly lit computer. "I need you more than anything in my life. I want you more than anything in my life. I'll miss you more than anyone in my life. I love you more than anyone in my life."
I listen to this song when I'm in need. I scramble for it when I'm in need of knowing that things will be okay eventually, and that eventually means that it will happen...eventually. I listen intently when I strain to find within me the strength I once had, the confidence I once possessed, the love I used to feel. And though these times are few and fleeting, they are steadfast and grip me like no other fear. Somehow, the little dance flava band that no one cared about had produced a monster--a beast that always paralyzes me instantaneously, but in the end allows me to do more than I could before.
"It might not be the right time"
Rising from the floor, drawing a breath, closing Winamp, and closing my eyes, I feel less claustrophobic.
I lay on the plush green carpet on the floor of my room, looking upward, mesmerized by the fan. I watch the blades spin round and try my hardest to watch a single one of them as all five speed around the glow in the center. I look aside at the shadows it cast on the ceiling and on the far wall--the shadows that dance and play as if they belonged to a dozen ravers on a fast night at Gotham. Ironically, I try to distract my attention from the lyrics of the song I was so crazed to find. But I know that this is one of few songs, if not the only one, that my attention can not be torn from. "But there's something about us I want to say, cuz there's something between us, anyway..."
Laying there in the darkness, in the solitude of a room filled only with the sound of synthesizers, keyboards, and one lone voice, I remembered the first time I heard the song. I was crouched on the hardwood floor of my former room. The song followed a cryptic message that was sent along with it, and though I knew who it was coming from, I was more curious than I had ever been. I listened closely and the words washed over me smoothly "I might not be the right one. It might not be the right time"...so quickly the first time, that I doubted whether I heard the song at all. I pushed play and strained even harder this time to listen. "But there's something about us I've got to do. Some kind of secret I will share with you..." This time, I heard.
Now, in this new room of sorts, I lay spread eagle on the floor, completely absorbing every word and every beat that reverberated from my dimly lit computer. "I need you more than anything in my life. I want you more than anything in my life. I'll miss you more than anyone in my life. I love you more than anyone in my life."
I listen to this song when I'm in need. I scramble for it when I'm in need of knowing that things will be okay eventually, and that eventually means that it will happen...eventually. I listen intently when I strain to find within me the strength I once had, the confidence I once possessed, the love I used to feel. And though these times are few and fleeting, they are steadfast and grip me like no other fear. Somehow, the little dance flava band that no one cared about had produced a monster--a beast that always paralyzes me instantaneously, but in the end allows me to do more than I could before.
"It might not be the right time"
Rising from the floor, drawing a breath, closing Winamp, and closing my eyes, I feel less claustrophobic.