(no subject)
While I was in Jail, I spread my filthy Words and beliefs and many were scared, tried to tell the Correctional Officers that I was crazy; among other things. I stopped eating for 12 days and got so thin that I was most likely going to be placed in the medical ward under suicide watch, so I started eating again. Now that I am out, I will go the full 40. I never felt healthier than when I was "starving" myself. Truthfully, I had more energy, in all terms of the word, and the only hunger I had was from the eyes. See them as products, not as nourishment, I was told. Anyway, I had a Great Astral Projection/Vision the night before I was released. The Vision was this:
Oct. 23, 11:21 PM -- I awoke from a dream, and after writing it down, retired again. The Projection is what follows. (When I awaken, I write words down, then I go back over them and piece them together, then I write the time)
Oct. 23, 11:26 PM -- I was in a classroom/library setting of sorts. I knew I was Astral Projecting, because I was immediately in this place upon closing my eyes. I was speaking pompously to those around me about how I knew I was projecting and how cool it was. I was sitting at a table. A cute girl (Daog) on my left, Jaiyden on her left, at the table one over. At the table to my right was my protector angel Leviathan, and a human form of my etherial attack dog/elemental Cerberus. These are all entities I created by the way. (Daog is spoken of in my LJ community Cult of the Occult; Jaiyden is another aspect of myself) I forget all what I was saying, but I belive my words appeared on the paper in front of me, and the words were floating above the paper, and cast shadows onto the paper. There were books along the walls to my left, right, and backside. Daog started (what I interpreted as) spirit writing, super fast; and it awestruck me. I felt a "something" and turned over my right shoulder to see "Her". A figure clothed in Golden/creme/White splendor. Immediately I was inches from Her, facing Her, and she was about a foot taller than me, or she was floating, as I was only aware of her from the waist up after the first initial glance. She asked me two Questions, the latter I forgot, the first was, "Do you come easily into these lights?" (by "lights" I understood the term to mean a state of Heightened Awareness) I did not reply, but asked for a hug. ( to be allowed to give a her a hug, apparently) As I reached out to embrace Her, my right hand reached either for Her left breast, or her heart, as me hand sort of passed within her form, then I drew my hand back and continued my initial motion, putting my hand and arm around to her back to meet my left hand, completing the embrace. She said, "You will not get everything from me" referring to when I tried to molest/assault Her, not the embrace. As we hugged I felt the Love/Acceptance. In reply to her, I asked what she had asked me previously, for I did not reply to it. But when she repeated it, it was no longer a question, but a statement that follows. "You will pass easily into this light" (state of heightened awareness) she also made a statement out of the second question, which I cannot recall. After hearing the statement I felt wronged, and started to reply, "Don't be so--" but stopped at the word "mean." But I was thinking, 'Man, she can hear my thoughts' I started feeling sorry and apologetic, but then I asked for a kiss, which I took as a blessing. She sighed and pressed lips with mine, then she started speaking in Hebrew, I felt the fear of death, at which point I awoke. I awoke to the sound of a Trumpet, which was actually the sound of another inmate; outside of my cell, scooting a chair. And I was startled to see that the outline/contour of my right hand, which was right beside my face was in the exact shape and position of the contour of Her face in my Vision. I was frightened because I thought I was still seeing Her while I was awake, until I realized that it was my hand, and the fear in the Vision, coinsided with the waking fear of being awoken by the "trumpet" This is the end of the Vision.
END OF DREAM
The next day, I was called out of the pod at 5:00 AM, to be brought to court, and I was scared because I knew not why I was going to court, I had not recieved any letter from my lawyer, and was scared that I was going to recieve more time. When I entered the court room, my lawyer was not even present, there was only the Judge, A District Attorney, The Transcriber/typist woman, and a Police Officer. The judge told me he understood that I wanted to join the Military, and he suspended the rest of my ten year sentence. He told me I should be a Navigator, which I took as meaning "lead the way." But I am also insane to all of you, but I dont care because now I am out of jail, and my path is constantly being placed in front of me, and that I must walk it. I wish someone that I cared about would tell me to stop, which is everyone and anyone, but it seems I speak to only silence.
Oct. 23, 11:21 PM -- I awoke from a dream, and after writing it down, retired again. The Projection is what follows. (When I awaken, I write words down, then I go back over them and piece them together, then I write the time)
Oct. 23, 11:26 PM -- I was in a classroom/library setting of sorts. I knew I was Astral Projecting, because I was immediately in this place upon closing my eyes. I was speaking pompously to those around me about how I knew I was projecting and how cool it was. I was sitting at a table. A cute girl (Daog) on my left, Jaiyden on her left, at the table one over. At the table to my right was my protector angel Leviathan, and a human form of my etherial attack dog/elemental Cerberus. These are all entities I created by the way. (Daog is spoken of in my LJ community Cult of the Occult; Jaiyden is another aspect of myself) I forget all what I was saying, but I belive my words appeared on the paper in front of me, and the words were floating above the paper, and cast shadows onto the paper. There were books along the walls to my left, right, and backside. Daog started (what I interpreted as) spirit writing, super fast; and it awestruck me. I felt a "something" and turned over my right shoulder to see "Her". A figure clothed in Golden/creme/White splendor. Immediately I was inches from Her, facing Her, and she was about a foot taller than me, or she was floating, as I was only aware of her from the waist up after the first initial glance. She asked me two Questions, the latter I forgot, the first was, "Do you come easily into these lights?" (by "lights" I understood the term to mean a state of Heightened Awareness) I did not reply, but asked for a hug. ( to be allowed to give a her a hug, apparently) As I reached out to embrace Her, my right hand reached either for Her left breast, or her heart, as me hand sort of passed within her form, then I drew my hand back and continued my initial motion, putting my hand and arm around to her back to meet my left hand, completing the embrace. She said, "You will not get everything from me" referring to when I tried to molest/assault Her, not the embrace. As we hugged I felt the Love/Acceptance. In reply to her, I asked what she had asked me previously, for I did not reply to it. But when she repeated it, it was no longer a question, but a statement that follows. "You will pass easily into this light" (state of heightened awareness) she also made a statement out of the second question, which I cannot recall. After hearing the statement I felt wronged, and started to reply, "Don't be so--" but stopped at the word "mean." But I was thinking, 'Man, she can hear my thoughts' I started feeling sorry and apologetic, but then I asked for a kiss, which I took as a blessing. She sighed and pressed lips with mine, then she started speaking in Hebrew, I felt the fear of death, at which point I awoke. I awoke to the sound of a Trumpet, which was actually the sound of another inmate; outside of my cell, scooting a chair. And I was startled to see that the outline/contour of my right hand, which was right beside my face was in the exact shape and position of the contour of Her face in my Vision. I was frightened because I thought I was still seeing Her while I was awake, until I realized that it was my hand, and the fear in the Vision, coinsided with the waking fear of being awoken by the "trumpet" This is the end of the Vision.
END OF DREAM
The next day, I was called out of the pod at 5:00 AM, to be brought to court, and I was scared because I knew not why I was going to court, I had not recieved any letter from my lawyer, and was scared that I was going to recieve more time. When I entered the court room, my lawyer was not even present, there was only the Judge, A District Attorney, The Transcriber/typist woman, and a Police Officer. The judge told me he understood that I wanted to join the Military, and he suspended the rest of my ten year sentence. He told me I should be a Navigator, which I took as meaning "lead the way." But I am also insane to all of you, but I dont care because now I am out of jail, and my path is constantly being placed in front of me, and that I must walk it. I wish someone that I cared about would tell me to stop, which is everyone and anyone, but it seems I speak to only silence.