It all doesn't feel like it.
I don't know where home is anymore. I finally realized why I decided to go to school 4 hours away. Oh yes. It's very clear to me now. My mom fell down the stairs while carrying my clumsy, yet empty suitcase down into the basement. She then proceeded to yell at me, saying "All you care about is your blood drives and your stupid friends. What about ME? When have you ever asked to help ME?"
All I have to say to that is when haven't I asked to help you? How dare she accuse me of being selfish. How dare she. Who the hell does she think I am? I am by no means insensitive. I'm actually much too sensitive for my own good. Who does she think I am? Obviously, a selfish, immature, stubborn brat. Of course. Thats how she wants to see her daughters so she can have something to fume at or about when something happens to her, usually on her fault. If I had known she was carrying the suitcase down the stairs I would've helped. But I had no idea. I would've even done it myself since I am more nimble. Come on. I know she's prone to these outbursts, but I haven't been home in months, I thought I would be able to spend my time here without being exposed to it all. I don't even know where home is anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. Once I can get some money, I'm going to look for an actual home for myself. Only myself. So I won't get called a child for wanting to see my friends. I can't take this bullcrap. I mean, being home has been great, but now I want to be in Bennington. At least I feel welcome there. My friends are there. My family is there. I now realize this. What I thought I was leaving behind, wasn't the home I thought it to be. Rather, what I was going to, is home. Or at least, closer to a home then how I feel now, here at this place. There is no community here. At Bennington, you are friends with every single one of your housemates and every one of them supports you in your endeavors. Why had I not seen this before? Why was my judgement so clouded? (Oh yeah...all the work and stress.. >.>;;)Maybe I shouldn't complain. My mom always seems to think I'm taking the "I'm a slave" position, which aren't my choice of words. I just simply think she has misjudged me. Put a label on me and she cannot see through it.
Unless it is me and I have misjudged myself.
I don't know anymore.
On a lighter note, I recorded my voice over demo. It's going to rock so hard. ><; I'm uber excited to hear it. <3 They need to make it all cool sounding and give me 50 copies. When that happens, I'm not going to hold back. I'm going to send it everywhere. Maybe not the big companies yet like Bang Zoom or Funimation. Maybe I'll try out Koei for fun...but I'm going to try local first. I think I have a good chance at getting jobs then. I'm so exicted to get started on my career its not even funny. I did lots of cool voices~~ wait until you hear it. =D I've also created a new youtube channel for myself. I haven't put anything up yet, but when I do, I'll tell you my username so you can check it out. (I have no idea how many people actually read this... >.>;; Not many I presume.) But whatever! <3 I'm excited.
All I have to say to that is when haven't I asked to help you? How dare she accuse me of being selfish. How dare she. Who the hell does she think I am? I am by no means insensitive. I'm actually much too sensitive for my own good. Who does she think I am? Obviously, a selfish, immature, stubborn brat. Of course. Thats how she wants to see her daughters so she can have something to fume at or about when something happens to her, usually on her fault. If I had known she was carrying the suitcase down the stairs I would've helped. But I had no idea. I would've even done it myself since I am more nimble. Come on. I know she's prone to these outbursts, but I haven't been home in months, I thought I would be able to spend my time here without being exposed to it all. I don't even know where home is anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. Once I can get some money, I'm going to look for an actual home for myself. Only myself. So I won't get called a child for wanting to see my friends. I can't take this bullcrap. I mean, being home has been great, but now I want to be in Bennington. At least I feel welcome there. My friends are there. My family is there. I now realize this. What I thought I was leaving behind, wasn't the home I thought it to be. Rather, what I was going to, is home. Or at least, closer to a home then how I feel now, here at this place. There is no community here. At Bennington, you are friends with every single one of your housemates and every one of them supports you in your endeavors. Why had I not seen this before? Why was my judgement so clouded? (Oh yeah...all the work and stress.. >.>;;)Maybe I shouldn't complain. My mom always seems to think I'm taking the "I'm a slave" position, which aren't my choice of words. I just simply think she has misjudged me. Put a label on me and she cannot see through it.
Unless it is me and I have misjudged myself.
I don't know anymore.
On a lighter note, I recorded my voice over demo. It's going to rock so hard. ><; I'm uber excited to hear it. <3 They need to make it all cool sounding and give me 50 copies. When that happens, I'm not going to hold back. I'm going to send it everywhere. Maybe not the big companies yet like Bang Zoom or Funimation. Maybe I'll try out Koei for fun...but I'm going to try local first. I think I have a good chance at getting jobs then. I'm so exicted to get started on my career its not even funny. I did lots of cool voices~~ wait until you hear it. =D I've also created a new youtube channel for myself. I haven't put anything up yet, but when I do, I'll tell you my username so you can check it out. (I have no idea how many people actually read this... >.>;; Not many I presume.) But whatever! <3 I'm excited.