[oom] strengthened through sacrifice
(death is here among us, and it will be a very distressing one)
Ben's dreams are static-filled, as if being transmitted by a faulty comm unit. Though he's not dreaming, not really -- he's semi-conscious, not quite sure where he is but sure that it's safer than where he was, and so he can allow himself to concentrate on using the Force to heal his injuries.
Oh, those he can remember, the pain and bruising and the attack that caused it. A ghost of his mother, a phantom, a Force projection -- but why? What happened before it? He tries to remember.
He remembers Lorrd. He remembers the tassels found on Toryaz station being translated (he will choose the fate of the weak) by Doctor Rotham; he remembers finding the shuttle belonging to that strange woman; he remembers leaving with the woman, Jacen and Jedi Nelani, heading for the woman's home to hear her story.
He doesn't remember the woman's name.
There was a space station; no, an old mining habitat built on an asteroid. A place filled with Force energy, he remembers that, he can almost still feel it, swirls of dark side and light side, life and death, but so very there. There was a man in the lower levels somewhere, a Sith -- had he attacked?
The woman had said something about Ben not being strong enough to face the Sith
(tell you what, i'll just resist all temptation)
and Jacen had refused to leave him behind, so Ben remembers travelling down, down into darkness, Jacen and the woman and Nelani all with him ... until they weren't.
(i separated them from us for their own good)
The static is so annoying, he hates not remembering everything and yet somehow the frustration is terrifyingly familiar. As if this has happened before. Is it amnesia? Has he suffered from that before? He doesn't remember -- and it's hard to laugh when his insides hurt so much. The resulting coughing fit wakes him fully and he stares at the bunk above him, breathing slowly and using the Force to calm himself down.
He's on the shuttle. Jacen's shuttle: he can sense his cousin in the cockpit, a calm and faint presence in the Force. So that's okay, isn't it? He can close his eyes again for a moment, can try to remember more. Anything at all.
He'd been separated from all the others, though he can't recall when or how. He'd fought and killed a mynock-like creature, something not quite real but real enough to hurt him. Then his mother had appeared, but she hadn't really been his mother; just another Force projection, twisted and cruel and Sith-like.
(i'm an illusion but i'm also right here)
And she'd kicked his butt ... but she hadn't killed him.
He opens his eyes and stares at the bunk above him again. Then he sits up, slowly, and winces -- his stomach still hurts, he can still feel the bruises from the kick that knocked him out, but he supposes it's not that bad. It's the staticky parts in his memories that annoy him most, the nagging feeling that he should remember who that strange woman was, and for that, he guesses he'll have to ask Jacen or Nelani--
(you're not strong enough to sacrifice one to save many)
Blinking as he realises he can't actually feel Nelani, Ben rubs at his hair. That's odd. He'll have to ask Jacen about that too, then; so he finally gets up, stumbles a little on his way to the cockpit, and steps through to speak to his cousin.
(like any dark-sider, she mixes truth with lies until you can't separate them)
(what do you call someone who kills without needing to?)
(i have nothing to fear)