Thoughts About Feelings

[astragem14]

Just a few thoughts about feelings.

====================================

The only way to prevent

your feelings from being hurt

is to become so self-centered

that there are no feelings left

for anyone to hurt.

=========

If you eliminate caring what everyone else thinks, leaving only caring what you think, then the only one who can hurt your feelings is

Comments

[lehtihuone]

Vulnerability renders existence painful at times, but it is also the basis of art and meaningful human connection. I think it is ok to feel pain as long as you can communicate it intelligibly and be open to feedback.

I don't see how you would find safety in an isolated heart, as you aren't much different to the people you too are rejecting in absentia. I can understand what you are saying-- I don't rely on a passing judgment or a casual witticism to form a substantive opinion about myself, and I like to do things my way, even if it inconveniences me-- but I just find loneliness to be heart-racking. I hope you are well.

[astragem14]

As always, you make a lot of good points, particularly about the fact that a person with a closed heart is also rejecting others in absentia. Unfortunately, I do seem to take even the smallest negative things to heart when I do try to open myself up to someone else. Sometimes I feel like my emotional core is a raw nerve ending and that any attempt to touch it, by anyone, in anything but the most positive manner 100% of the time, will cause me to recoil in pain. Hmm, I wonder, do the kids call this "being emo?" :P

[lehtihuone]

You might want to re-orient your position on your reaction patterns. What you call “sensitivities” I term “startling wakefulness”. It helps me find myself in an interaction. When I can, I counterbalance fear with curiosity and try to transmute anger into unbiased incisiveness. Thus the choppy sentences.

I’ve been a psychiatric “client” for over 15 years now (though I quit all psych med regimens in 2010). I’m in psychic pain when I am conscious. Nothing helps save positive experience/social dynamics.

Approach/avoid behaviors are associated with different parts of the brain, so your tendency to recoil/withdraw may have become an ingrained one. Just a thought.

I am intrigued by what you call cooperative writing endeavors- I enjoy “Exquisite Corpse” games. Could you message me a couple links?

Thanks

[astragem14]

Well, I get what you're saying about counterbalancing/transmuting negative reactions like fear and anger into more positive/neutral ones. I've been doing stuff like that my whole life, but it can get exhausting when you're doing it all the time. Sometimes, withdrawing is the least stressful option.

That's interesting about those drawing games; I'd never heard about them before. Sounds like fun.

This is our main thread:
https://www.caedon.net/topic/view/10340

And the "prequel" thread I've been doing by myself for additional creative release:
https://www.caedon.net/topic/view/10343

We're not on a "novel" level of writing, but it's still great for having fun in a creative way.

[lehtihuone]

Oh, I just read this. Have a great Christmas!

I think life is complicated and our minds much more so. You can relax as well as withdraw.