like winning the lottery but not
Sarah and I had a bad morning. I couldn't sleep well because I had an annoying coughing thing going on and Sarah woke up at 6:30 this morning, which is a good 90 minutes early. Then she had a tantrum in the shower because she didn't want to get out. I reached in to get her, and she squirmed away.
So I'm wet, I can't stand all the way up because my back is in spasm, and Sarah is laying on the floor of the shower (which is super sanitary, I'm sure) screaming like she's been stabbed. I was just done, so I walked away. She then started screaming "MAMA NO LOVE ME! MAMA NO LOVE ME!" I walked in and picked her up, kicking and thrashing, I slapped a pull-up on her, and I deposited her in her crib. She pulled my hair and I yelled "SARAH CATHERINE POPOVICH, YOU STOP THAT THIS MINUTE!" and I left.
She quieted down nearly immediately and was asleep before five minutes was up.
I felt like I'd won the Publisher's Clearing House Bad Mother Sweepstakes, and I was just waiting for the guys in the suits to come to the door and play the sad trombone sound and hand me a giant novelty check that was made out to me for $0.00 with "YOU LOSE!" written in the memo field. Then they'd put a giant "BAD MOTHER" banner on me like I was a beauty queen and stick a big L to my forehead and leave, being very somber.
I hate yelling. That's not the mother I want to be. But today, that was the mother I was. I hate that.
And when Sarah woke up, she was right as rain and ate a banana and a piece of cheese and was sunny and happy, and hugged me and said "I love you so much! You are my best friend!" That made me feel worse.
I need to reboot today.
So I'm wet, I can't stand all the way up because my back is in spasm, and Sarah is laying on the floor of the shower (which is super sanitary, I'm sure) screaming like she's been stabbed. I was just done, so I walked away. She then started screaming "MAMA NO LOVE ME! MAMA NO LOVE ME!" I walked in and picked her up, kicking and thrashing, I slapped a pull-up on her, and I deposited her in her crib. She pulled my hair and I yelled "SARAH CATHERINE POPOVICH, YOU STOP THAT THIS MINUTE!" and I left.
She quieted down nearly immediately and was asleep before five minutes was up.
I felt like I'd won the Publisher's Clearing House Bad Mother Sweepstakes, and I was just waiting for the guys in the suits to come to the door and play the sad trombone sound and hand me a giant novelty check that was made out to me for $0.00 with "YOU LOSE!" written in the memo field. Then they'd put a giant "BAD MOTHER" banner on me like I was a beauty queen and stick a big L to my forehead and leave, being very somber.
I hate yelling. That's not the mother I want to be. But today, that was the mother I was. I hate that.
And when Sarah woke up, she was right as rain and ate a banana and a piece of cheese and was sunny and happy, and hugged me and said "I love you so much! You are my best friend!" That made me feel worse.
I need to reboot today.