... thought to share...
I wrote this tonight.. the old fashioned way.. with the journal that my lovely Maria got for me. I wanted to put it here as well.... so here goes:
... I'm not quite sure WHAT to write but I know it'll be something. I NEED to write. Perhaps this is me catching up with my many months of non-contact via journal or maybe this is my way of not feeling alone. Most likely-- I'd bet on a LOVELY combo of 'bolth'! Ha! It's good for me to think back & remember back but I'm making it a goal to no longer dream back and to STRICTLY dream ahead. (Ok.. sometimes I dream back intentionally but ONLY when it includes the future....) I mean, seriously, my past is the foundtaion for my future, right? *grin* I've learned so much from where I've been... my heart's full of songs, lyrics, pictures, quotes, verses, colors, smells, and AMAZING feelings... this ecclectic group of "me" will, until the day I die, bring a warm smile, soft tear, gentle lump in my throat, or aching longing... my past.
MY PAST! My wonderful, full-of-life, amazing, heart-breaking, person-molding, unique past.
As I sit here listening to this song I'm allowing myself to think back on happy moments and sad moments. The brilliant truth of it all stuns me. It's become a HUGE part of what I value- the longing- the never knowing- the always dreaming. I've grown to cherish my confusion. I look at where I stand and compare it to where I stood even mere months ago. I look back on the path that I never want to re-travel. I look back on a broken girl and my heart breaks over the unthinkable pain I see in her eyes. I pray that my renewed smile would fortify hers and that in the end of days we'd walk hang-in-hand.....
God keep me!!
I love you.
~Sam
... I'm not quite sure WHAT to write but I know it'll be something. I NEED to write. Perhaps this is me catching up with my many months of non-contact via journal or maybe this is my way of not feeling alone. Most likely-- I'd bet on a LOVELY combo of 'bolth'! Ha! It's good for me to think back & remember back but I'm making it a goal to no longer dream back and to STRICTLY dream ahead. (Ok.. sometimes I dream back intentionally but ONLY when it includes the future....) I mean, seriously, my past is the foundtaion for my future, right? *grin* I've learned so much from where I've been... my heart's full of songs, lyrics, pictures, quotes, verses, colors, smells, and AMAZING feelings... this ecclectic group of "me" will, until the day I die, bring a warm smile, soft tear, gentle lump in my throat, or aching longing... my past.
MY PAST! My wonderful, full-of-life, amazing, heart-breaking, person-molding, unique past.
As I sit here listening to this song I'm allowing myself to think back on happy moments and sad moments. The brilliant truth of it all stuns me. It's become a HUGE part of what I value- the longing- the never knowing- the always dreaming. I've grown to cherish my confusion. I look at where I stand and compare it to where I stood even mere months ago. I look back on the path that I never want to re-travel. I look back on a broken girl and my heart breaks over the unthinkable pain I see in her eyes. I pray that my renewed smile would fortify hers and that in the end of days we'd walk hang-in-hand.....
God keep me!!
I love you.
~Sam