Suddenly...

[astorminside]

I stood there watching the elderly woman arguing with her daughter about who should pay for the chocolates. I stood there rubbing my hand after she hit it waaay too hard to prevent me from taking her daughter's money. Then suddenly I felt so sad that I had to choke hard to stop myself from crying right there at that cash register in front of a

Comments

[xxicestarxx]

whoa.

that's a fairly fucked day. listen, i don't mean to pry, but is this about fitting in with arabs? because i can see it, if that's what you're talking about. i'm not gonna assume incorrectly, but i honestly can sense your plight. we're not easy, and i know you can understand some of the underlying cultural problems there because from what i've seen asian girls go through the same kinds of things in different ways sometimes. i hope it works out. but i know for the most part, it's impossible to change the circumstances in which we live - our own microcosm societies. your only options it seems are to either push your thoughts away and just accept, or put your foot down. and it comes down to being yourself or being what someone wants. if you choose to be yourself then you stand to lose people you love. but, if you choose to be what "they" want (whomsoever they might be) then you lose yourself and you start to hate either the people that made you change or your hate yourself for not naturally being what they want. these are the difficult decisions in life, and everyone goes through this shit.

and of course this is made all the more difficult because essentially every "child of an immigrant" goes through this "who am ? what culture do i represent?" dilemma, and most of us (not really me - before i get branded as a hypocrite). i especially feel for you as you have to resolve chinese with canadian with arab. got to be tough.

[xxicestarxx]

oh, and pardon my saying so, but as a girl in the community to which you might one day be a part of - you can talk to me if you like. i promise i don't bite (unless asked - kidding) and what's more, i can sympathize, it's fucking tough shit with how you have to go from one repressive world to another equally (if not more) oppressive world.

[astorminside]

Hehe, it's not an oppression thing. It's just hard to fit in, b/c language is different, culture and tradition is diff. Blah blah blah.

Thanks for the concern though. =) *hugs