From Wikipedia:
Limerence, as posited by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person (the limerent object). Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses "having a crush" on someone else although limerence, unlike a crush, can last months, years or even a lifetime. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether or not the feelings are reciprocated. While the use of the word has not gained widespread acceptance, nor can it be found in most current dictionaries, limerence theory is nevertheless used in psychological studies dealing with romantic love and is frequently discussed by those interested in Tennov's work.
Tennov describes limerence as beginning with a barely perceptible feeling of increased interest in the limerent object, that, if nurtured by appropriate conditions, can grow to enormous intensity, although in most cases it subsides to a low level after some time. At this stage, states Tennov, limerence is either transformed through reciprocation or it is transferred to another person who then becomes the new limerent object. Under the best of conditions the waning of limerence through mutuality is accompanied by the growth of an emotional response more suitably described as love.
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Limerence has certain basic components:
Tennov describes limerence as beginning with a barely perceptible feeling of increased interest in the limerent object, that, if nurtured by appropriate conditions, can grow to enormous intensity, although in most cases it subsides to a low level after some time. At this stage, states Tennov, limerence is either transformed through reciprocation or it is transferred to another person who then becomes the new limerent object. Under the best of conditions the waning of limerence through mutuality is accompanied by the growth of an emotional response more suitably described as love.
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Limerence has certain basic components:
- intrusive thinking about the limerent object
- acute longing for reciprocation
- some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerence through vivid imagining of action by the limerent object that means reciprocation
- fear of rejection and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence
- intensification through adversity
- acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object
- an aching in the chest or stomach when uncertainty is strong
- buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems evident
- a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background
- a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into another positive attribute.