sucks when u feel like everyone's against you.
i applied for walgreens. and i talked to my gma for a while today. we discussed gateway, what happened at school today, art, my mom, my dad, his parents, grief, a job, maggie, germantown, new orleans, wayne, annnd i think thats it. it was a nice conversation. i told her how i felt about germantown and i shared information my ex homeschooled friend told me. she said that they actually have art classes and music, too. kinda like a private tutor but theres about 5 kids in a class. sounds great to me. anyways, i said that with the job, i could pay for gateway. mmhm. she said "we'll see".
dane cooks funny
...i do miss new orleans.
and i apologize if u hate me. i'm sorry i don't know when to act 'right'. so that everyone else is happy. and i'm so 'mean' when i'm around her. because she makes me so sad, right? i get so frustrated!!!! its like everything we do is wrong. and i'm sorry i've finally found someone to talk to!! i can't open myself up to anyone who asks 'whats wrong'! it doesn't work like that! i trust her and shes helped me more than anyone will ever understand. i've been goin through some shit. i didn't think new orleans would bring back that many memories. if i cry, ITS NOT SHARON!!!! she hasn't given me any reason to cry! but she has given me a shoulder to cry on. and she listens. i'm not saying that u all wouldn't listen, but....its just very easy to talk to her and shes always there for me...i know i havn't really tried to talk to anyone else, but what can you say? 'oh, i'm sorry' 'it'll be okay' 'i understand'...i'm tired of hearing that! and you'll just feel akward. just like i would. i have a comfort with her. christ, i can't...say what i want to say because i don't know how to say it and it all builds up and then someone says something to trigger it and i cry. expecially when (it feels like) everyones yelling at us in public over something i didn't even realize because you never say anything!! i'm sorry i didn't say 'thank you' for the beer! i'm sorry i didn't see you were sick and shivering on my couch. i'd explain why everything happened the way it did but it would be pointless because we can't redo it. just know it was nothing towards you. i didn't mean to be a bitch! and fuck, i didn't even know what i did untill kyra had to come tell me! so i'm unintentionally being a bitch. communtication could help. if theres a problem, talk about it. no use in being pissed about it and then finally exploding. because i can't take the feeling...almost throwing up on some street of new orleans from idunnoknowwhat...over-emotional or someshit. happened at school today too. ...i didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings...i'm sorry
dane cooks funny
...i do miss new orleans.
and i apologize if u hate me. i'm sorry i don't know when to act 'right'. so that everyone else is happy. and i'm so 'mean' when i'm around her. because she makes me so sad, right? i get so frustrated!!!! its like everything we do is wrong. and i'm sorry i've finally found someone to talk to!! i can't open myself up to anyone who asks 'whats wrong'! it doesn't work like that! i trust her and shes helped me more than anyone will ever understand. i've been goin through some shit. i didn't think new orleans would bring back that many memories. if i cry, ITS NOT SHARON!!!! she hasn't given me any reason to cry! but she has given me a shoulder to cry on. and she listens. i'm not saying that u all wouldn't listen, but....its just very easy to talk to her and shes always there for me...i know i havn't really tried to talk to anyone else, but what can you say? 'oh, i'm sorry' 'it'll be okay' 'i understand'...i'm tired of hearing that! and you'll just feel akward. just like i would. i have a comfort with her. christ, i can't...say what i want to say because i don't know how to say it and it all builds up and then someone says something to trigger it and i cry. expecially when (it feels like) everyones yelling at us in public over something i didn't even realize because you never say anything!! i'm sorry i didn't say 'thank you' for the beer! i'm sorry i didn't see you were sick and shivering on my couch. i'd explain why everything happened the way it did but it would be pointless because we can't redo it. just know it was nothing towards you. i didn't mean to be a bitch! and fuck, i didn't even know what i did untill kyra had to come tell me! so i'm unintentionally being a bitch. communtication could help. if theres a problem, talk about it. no use in being pissed about it and then finally exploding. because i can't take the feeling...almost throwing up on some street of new orleans from idunnoknowwhat...over-emotional or someshit. happened at school today too. ...i didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings...i'm sorry